What did your kids think about being homeschooled after being done?

[Not_a_Number]

Like the subject line says! I've been thinking a lot about what my kids will make of our homeschooling time when they are done, whenever that may be. I'm sure they'll have complicated feelings about it. I'm curious to hear the range. 

[marbel]

Mine thought some aspects were good, some not so good.

In our area, it was hard to make friends. My kids were invisible to the neighborhood kids because they didn't get on the bus with them. We didn't fit most of the homeschool boxes, and homeschooling isn't much of a thing where we are anyway. They did meet some good friends at church but really didn't bloom into friend groups till college.

Both kids were glad to have had opportunities to follow their interests. Such a cliche, eh?  Whether that has served them well, I don't know. I have two college grads; their degrees are in fine arts and history. Neither has a smooth career path which they might have had if they'd been steered in other directions.  But boy they were sure happy in school, and did great. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

My son loves the education he got. He has thanked me many times. I even got two thank-you notes from two of his college professors!  Loneliness was an issue especially in high school but as a highly gifted kid with ASD I suspect that that would have been an issue in brick and mortar school. But we never really know the road not taken. 

[busymama7]

I have graduated 4 (2 also have their bachelor's) and they really don't have anything negative to say.   They've all done really well in college.   Have lots of friends and did while home as well.   All have them have gotten the "I would never have guessed you were homeschooled" comment at least once.  My husband and I are quite social and we just did a lot of things.   They did sports and music and homeschool groups and camping trips with other families etc.   The biggest difference is that did their schoolwork in the morning and got more sleep then their friends.  🤷‍♀️

[J-rap]

Some of my kids questioned it at first, not right away, but a few years down the road.  They wondered if they could have gotten further along if they had gone through public school all the way and been able to take advantage of perks that public high schools have ~ various awards, scholarships, honors events, a chance at being valedictorian, lead roles in clubs and extra curricular activities, other unique opportunities... along with a wider network of friends, etc.).

Now that they're older and thinking of having their own families, I think they've all come around to thinking of homeschooling as a very good option for their someday children.  At the very least, they have very good memories of homeschooling and are glad they know that they actually have options and don't have to be stuck in a certain track.

Edited October 8, 2022 by J-rap

[busymama7]

Oh my current college student mentioned how easy this one class is this semester.   His friend who's taking it with him has never read the Illiad or the Odyssey and other classics that the course is covering.  My *severely* dyslexic son is finding the class a piece of cake and his friend is struggling more.   So I guess I didn't screw their education up that much 😂

[Loowit]

My DD, who is in her senior year of college has thanked me numerous times that I homeschooled her.  During the process she had some complaints, but once she was in high school she was glad she was homeschooling, and by college she was really glad that she was homeschooled.  The biggest challenge she came up against was at the local community college which didn't want to accept her math classes from homeschooling, even though they do from all the local high schools including private and wanted her to take a placement test.  She refused because she felt it was discriminatory and took it all the way to the head of the college and won the challenge.  A number of her professors have been impressed with her homeschool education, and she is doing very well in college.  DD strongly feels like the benefits of homeschooling outweighed any of the downsides for her.

My middle, who knows.  He doesn't talk to me about stuff like that.  I think though, on the whole he is fine with having been homeschooled and enjoyed it.  He liked being able to get his work done quickly and having free time.  He never expressed a desire to go to public school ever.  But he doesn't really like school much in general, and chose to go into the military after graduating rather than college.  Homeschooling wasn't a barrier to military enlistment, so for him that was a win.  I just had to sign some paperwork, make a copy of his transcripts, and give him a diploma.  I might ask him some day how he feels about having been homeschooled, but likely he would just look at me and blink his eyes.

Youngest isn't quite done with homeschooling, but his feeling his that he has liked homeschooling but he is looking forward to what is ahead.  He doesn't regret homeschooling at all.  He likes having been home with me and his siblings, but he is missing his siblings now and is talking about doing some college classes next year in addition to homeschool.  He thinks his education is good, though he has questioned some of the curriculum choices I made.  We have had some fun discussions about it lately.

[catz]

I think a lot of teens and young adults tend to have grass is green/road not taken syndrome.  And my kids CHOSE to homeschool high school.  I would have been happy to send them to a B&M high school, we do have good options and dual enroll is readily available both for kids in school and homeschool kids that are ready.  I don't know how you force a teenager to homeschool who would rather not.  Both my kids did tons of extracurricular stuff through high school and had friends and good connections.  Though covid was hard on both for at least a year.

So my current college senior sometimes drones on about having no social skills.  While getting 20 texts a day and being a captain/leader in a competitive performance group.  LOL - self awareness isn't always strong in this age range.  He is HG/PG and has some quirkiness and social anxiety.  Anyway, I actually was very similar at that age and actually had less going on in college and went to B&M school throughout.  Sometimes you just are who you are.  In the past year he did say something like he expected college to be really difficult and it was an easy transition for him and he was very academically prepared.  I don't know why, he did 2 years of DE and that transition was quite smooth too.  So he was thankful for the quality of his education because he's seen all sorts of crazy young adult behavior at his big 10 U.   I personally think he is someone who should consider grad school, I have no idea what he will do next.  He is a double major and because of that workload/obligations he hasn't had an internship in his STEM major, so getting a job or internship in that for a while would be good.  

My daughter is a high school senior.  She is super happy with homeschooling.  She is actually accepted for a 4 year U for DE this year so she is having a very college-y experience this year.  We'll see if she turns on it at some point for a bit.  She is actually more socially "comfortable" than my older kid.  Though she still has some quirky GT vibes.  Adults tend to love working with her.  

Edited October 8, 2022 by catz

[KatieJ]

The fact that all 4 of my kids now homeschool all of our grandkids speaks for itself. 
 

[Not_a_Number]

7 minutes ago, KatieJ said:

The fact that all 4 of my kids now homeschool all of our grandkids speaks for itself. 
 

That's a really good testimony!! 

[freesia]

My two who are finished are glad they homeschooled. We all wish we’d had a broader social pool ( our area doesn’t have a ton of homeschoolers), but they also see clearly public school would have had disadvantages, and they consider them worse than the homeschooled ones. Dd1 is planning on homeschooling. Ds1 says he’ll decide with his wife. We will see. 

[Grace Hopper]

Mine have said that they loved parent directed education through about fourth grade. In hindsight they would have preferred going to brick & mortar for middle and high school years. 
 

(one home schooled all years, others out for high school)

[athena1277]

I have only graduated 1 so far.  She has made sure to tell me all the things I did wrong, but she’s the first child and we all know they are the ones we learn to parent and homeschool with.  On the other side, she started college last year as an English Ed major.  She took Intro to Ed her first semester and by midterms she decided that she doesn’t want to teach and her kids will absolutely be homeschooled.  I call that a win.  Now she’s majoring in just English and taking an intensive grammar course.  They are diagramming sentences and she loves it.  She’s glad I did FLL and R&S grammar with her because she’s not struggling like some of her classmates.

No idea what 15yo ds will say by the time he graduates.  He’s different in many ways from dd, with very different ideas about what he will do after high school, so only time will tell what he thinks when he’s done.

[pinball]

1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

My son loves the education he got. He has thanked me many times. I even got two thank-you notes from two of his college professors!  Loneliness was an issue especially in high school but as a highly gifted kid with ASD I suspect that that would have been an issue in brick and mortar school. But we never really know the road not taken. 

Logistically, how does this work? The professors wrote out notes, then handed them to your son and said, “give this your mom?”

or did they mail them to you? Attn: My student’s Mom?

i am fascinated by the etiquette in such scenarios!

[Jean in Newcastle]

43 minutes ago, catz said:

And my kids CHOSE to homeschool high school.

 

Snipped that bit.  Yes, both my kids CHOSE to homeschool both middle and high school.  Especially for high school we had long talks about how it was a four year decision because public high schools here would not allow you to transfer mid-high school without putting you back to the beginning of 9th grade. 

[Grace Hopper]

1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

My son loves the education he got. He has thanked me many times. I even got two thank-you notes from two of his college professors!  Loneliness was an issue especially in high school but as a highly gifted kid with ASD I suspect that that would have been an issue in brick and mortar school. But we never really know the road not taken. 

This is a wise statement! True of so many things. My kids base their opinion on the opportunities experiences of their non-homeschooled peers. And there’s no sure way to tell my kids would have actually had the same experiences. 
 

They are all doing well now, all but the youngest in successful professional careers. 

Edited October 8, 2022 by Grace Hopper

[Indigo Blue]

Very grateful. He’s very aware that he received a good education, and he’s expressed gratitude many times. 

[Corraleno]

DS definitely feels like homeschooling was the only option for him (highly gifted + LDs), and he's extremely grateful for all the opportunities he had because of it. He does wish he'd had more of the social aspects that come with B&M high school, but says he would not have traded all the other advantages of homeschooling just for the social aspects. He had a near-full-ride scholarship to his first choice college, graduated summa cum laude in May, and is now in grad school.

DD has very mixed feelings and often wishes she'd gone to B&M school, and in hindsight I wish I'd at least tried that for HS. We have a really large, active, high-quality co-op here, with well-paid professional teachers, and I hoped that would offer a good middle ground, but she was pretty off the rails during that period and I really don't know what would have been the best path. Ultimately I think things worked out OK, she's currently taking CC classes and although she had some catching up to do, things are generally going well. And most importantly, she's moved back home and we now have an excellent relationship, which is by far the most important thing to me.

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Corraleno said:

DS definitely feels like homeschooling was the only option for him (highly gifted + LDs), and he's extremely grateful for all the opportunities he had because of it. He does wish he'd had more of the social aspects that come with B&M high school, but says he would not have traded all the other advantages of homeschooling just for the social aspects. He had a near-full-ride scholarship to his first choice college, graduated summa cum laude in May, and is now in grad school.

DD has very mixed feelings and often wishes she'd gone to B&M school, and in hindsight I wish I'd at least tried that for HS. We have a really large, active, high-quality co-op here, with well-paid professional teachers, and I hoped that would offer a good middle ground, but she was pretty off the rails during that period and I really don't know what would have been the best path. Ultimately I think things worked out OK, she's currently taking CC classes and although she had some catching up to do, things are generally going well. And most importantly, she's moved back home and we now have an excellent relationship, which is by far the most important thing to me.

What happened with your DD, if you don't mind me asking? 

[Dmmetler]

L feels pretty good about it. Part of it is that by graduating in 2021, everyone had a messed up last year and a half of high school, so while our homeschooling social network collapsed, in a lot of ways, school was more constant for my kid than for most. But a big part of it is that many, many of the students who came from "good" high schools (private college prep schools, magnet schools, schools with IB or AP capstone programs, etc) really weren't well prepared in "how to college". L has also heard enough horror stories about how life works for 2e kids in traditional schools to recognize that it probably wouldn't have been a great school experience. 

 

S didn't leave school until middle school age, and was thrilled to be out. She credits homeschooling with saving her life. '

 

Now, whether that will change down the road...who knows?

[historically accurate]

I have one graduated. She's fine with having homeschooled; she would've hated the social aspects of B&M, and she knows that. She graduated in 2020, and dealt with all the disruptions in college - she's home for the year figuring out life. She didn't do as well in her 4 year school as she wanted, but I doubt it would've been better if she went to B&M.

My next oldest is a junior in high school; she hates homeschool (and tells everyone she hates it!) and has since about 6th grade. However, she has mental and physical health challenges that would make B&M very difficult.

My youngest likes homeschool, and she's a sophomore in high school this year. She's definitely getting the short end of the stick from me since I had to return to work when she started high school. I feel like I'm failing her since it's a lot of just leaving her with a textbook and notes, and I have to deal with her older sister who "needs" me to be on her more. Who knows what she'll think in a few years? 

[chiguirre]

Dd is undecided. She's very glad she got to DE during high school and has 70 college credits in the bank but she wishes she'd had a more typical high school social experience. She tends to forget that Covid would have tanked her social life even if she'd gone to a B&M school.

She's grateful to have been homeschooled when it benefits her career (starting out as an E3, making petty officer at 19 yo) and complains when she thinks she has deficits (her handwriting is crappy but her typing skills are great (insert mom eyeroll here)).

She thinks she'd be better at navigating the social scene on her ship if she had gone to B&M high school. That might be true but I have my doubts. A lot of her issues are typical for new sailors of any background. I think 19 yos are apt to blame their home life for any difficulties they face. (I know I did.)

Objectively, she's managed to do well in a job where every one of her colleagues is at least several years older than her and many of them are second career people in their late 20s/early 30s. We'll have to wait a few more years to see if she makes a smooth transition to a post-Navy career.

Edited October 8, 2022 by chiguirre

[Wheres Toto]

I have one that just finished homeschooling and is in college, and one that is in high school.  Both are very glad to have homeschooled and have no interest in having experienced public school.  

The main thing they found lacking was friends but they are both also extremely quirky introverts, so it's hard to say school would have been better.   Ds is making some acquaintances that I think could turn into friends at college.   Dd is making some friends at the classes I offer and 4-H.  I do think Covid made the friends situation much worse because both were starting to get into friend groups right before things fell apart.  

[Corraleno]

55 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

What happened with your DD, if you don't mind me asking? 

PM'd you

[Insertcreativenamehere]

I didn't homeschool my kids through high school. I have one who went back in 8th grade, one in 9th grade and one just this year in 7th grade. I think they have mixed feelings. There were definitely good memories and plusses to being homeschooled but what led all of them back to school was that we didn't have enough connections with a homeschool community. We did things like church, a weekly gym class, a biweekly co-op, field trip groups, and occasional nature center classes, but those groups didn't overlap and they didn't really develop close friendships with other homeschoolers. Covid made things A LOT harder and we lost a lot of the connections/activities we had before. They needed that consistent community/peer group and thankfully, they've been able to find it in their schools. 

Edited October 8, 2022 by Insertcreativenamehere

[BusyMom5]

I've got one in college that is happy she was homeschooled- she went through 5th grade at our local PS and it was never a good fit.  She did all college Jr and Sr years, interned during Covid (it was really rough, depressing her Sr year).  Overall it worked out and she has adjusted well.  All her "problems" are things she's always struggled with and I do not think HS or PS makes much difference,  especially if your kid is quirky.  

Dd2 is a senior and has told me many times Thank You for homeschooling.  She had an undiagnosed LD in public school and I'm pretty sure she would have been the kid who fell through the cracks.  Homeschooling saved her, it allowed her to grow and mature,  we eventually got a diagnosis and TREATMENT!   Now she is taking college classes.  Start Freshman year not thinking she would be able to attend due to LD, and now treated and doing so well!   It's a miracle.  She goes off to a 4-year school next year and I assume her "problems " will be the things associated with personality and growing up, not due to schooling. 

Not sure how my others will end up, pretty sure my boys don't care.  My younger 2 are more social and may feel left out 🤷‍♀️  

[kokotg]

My oldest has said from time to time that he wishes he'd gone to high school. He's also said that he wishes he'd picked a different college, different major, different restaurant for dinner that night, etc. etc. I.e. he's very much a grass is always greener person. I just texted my other graduate to ask him, but I'll be surprised if he doesn't say he's glad he was homeschooled. He's a much more generally content sort of person. And, as others have said, mine could have chosen to go to school if they'd wanted to. I read an interview with Emily St. John Mandel (Station Eleven writer) where she said, basically, "yeah, I'm not really sure why we were homeschooled" and seemed to generally not have particularly strong feelings about it. I think my kids will likely end up there; we're not very dogmatic homeschoolers--it's just sort of what we've done, and it's kept working fine, so we've kept doing it. ETA: and he just texted me back "yeah" So there you have it

 

Edited October 8, 2022 by kokotg

[rebcoola]

Well they must have enjoyed it because when I said I hadn't decided what to do with Youngest they insisted she do the hybrid school we used for k-8.  They are both doing public high school but only because of the combo of a cool Stem school and a lack of other home schooled high schoolers.

[Faith-manor]

Mine are very happy with their education, and were well prepared for college and the careers they have chosen. But, they have friends whose parents were lazy home schoolers and didn't make much effort, so they have seen the other side. We were in a soccer league for a few years, and then 4H and had competitive rocketry teams as well as a DNR related nature team (tracking invasive species and helping with other types of programs) so they got a lot of socialization. 

Dd is homeschooling our grandsons now. Or should I say, at the moment Marmee (me) is doing quite a bit while we do a few more weeks of her resting and not being 100% in the hopes that there will be no long, covid relapse. I homeschooled for a total of 19 years and thought I was retired. Ha ha ha! 

The senior engineer on youngest ds's project team at work was home schooled through high school. He and his wife are homeschooling their kids as well. My three sons are not having children though so this is not something they will be doing with their partners in the future.

[teachermom2834]

I have three homeschool grads- all boys homeschooled all the way with lots of de junior and senior year. They are all guarded enough with me (respectful? tender? sensitive?) to not complain or be negative about homeschooling so I don’t think I get their true feelings. They do speak to the positives in terms of maturity, academics, time management, etc. that they have experienced and don’t really get into negative feelings. I suspect there are some but they are not really negative or complainers or doing that young adult thing where they tell their parents all their errors. I think they would, in complete honesty, say they were lonely and missed out on some typical high school life but not enough to be bitter or resentful. My only child left at home is my 9th grade dd who attends private school after homeschooling K-8. Every one of the boys, when informed of the decision that she would attend school, expressed that I would need to supplement her academics. So they definitely feel the academics were superior. 
 

My dd just finished the first 9 weeks at her private high school. She is very happy there and did not want to be homeschooled in high school. While it is possible she is still in a honeymoon period there, she is very pleased and cannot imagine returning to homeschooling. After the first couple weeks I asked her if she felt like I had been denying her this her whole life. She said she did not regret being homeschooled and she actually felt very solid in herself and her academics and very confident in who she is and felt like she was really prepared to jump in and excel at her school without a lot of the insecurities and hang ups she sees in her classmates. So she is thriving in brick and mortar school and I can’t see a return to homeschooling for her being a positive development, but she feels very positive about her k-8 homeschooling experience. 

[Guest]

On balance, net negative. I grant you, they all have enough awareness to not totally disparage something they know was often a harder path, but if they were being completely candid, they all three seem to think there were more disadvantages than advantages. One of my kids felt that sense of oddity more than the other two seem to have felt. All three felt it limited their friend group to “just these few kids” who happen to be near enough in age and there was more need to be friends with these available kids. 

[Lecka]

Edit:  I misread the topic.

Edited October 8, 2022 by Lecka

[HomeAgain]

The oldest is 23.

He appreciates the work we did together and the skills I harped on.  He's grateful he got to learn math in a way that worked for him and made him feel competent. He remembers fondly all the activities and field trips we did. He wishes a lot more kids got that sort of education. However, he is also candid about the bad days and knows they wouldn't have been like that in school, so while he thinks it was overall good, he acknowledges that was a learning process for both of us and we muddled through.

The youngest is 12, and is starting to realize what he knowingly gave up.  To him, school is a pain in the arse in which he knows too much and sits still too long. He misses home and having a tailored education and real math, but truly is enjoying his Latin class there with a professional teacher who has taught the course for 30+ years.  Of course, she is happy as well to have a student "pick up" the language so quickly and one who "shows a real gift"........so we also know who has not informed his teacher that he did the same book over the past two years and had 4 years of work before that.

[Kareni]

Overall I'd say my daughter found homeschooling to be a positive experience.

We began homeschooling our daughter in 7th grade due to (of all things) transportation issues.  Our daughter attended a charter school in 6th grade that necessitated a two-bus commute that added two hours to each school day.  She asked to be homeschooled the following year.  We left the choice of continuing homeschooling up to her.  Each year we presented options to her (i.e., informing her when a new arts focused high school opened in our area or the choice to take classes at the local high school), and each year she elected to continue homeschooling. We were fortunate that she was able to take a wide variety of classes at a publicly funded homeschooling center over her six years of homeschooling. (It was at the homeschooling center that she made some good friends.) In 11th and 12th grades, we paid for her to attend the local community college where she took quite a few classes. She was well prepared for college and graduated with honors.

Regards,

Kareni

[DawnM]

Oldest was very glad he homeschooled.   He went to community college at 17 and did well.  However, he has never finished college.   He is 24 and has ASD and struggles.   He stopped during Covid and hasn't gone back.

Second was glad we homeschooled but did ask to go to school in high school and we were fine with that.    He is currently in college at 22.   He took 2 years off during Covid but is now back.

Third feels he might have enjoyed going to school more than homeschooling but isn't upset at us for homeschooling or anything.   He went to a B&M school in middle school and graduated high school this past year and is in college.

Fourth is starting Pre-K and we have no plans to homeschool him.

 

Bottom Line:   None are resentful or say they regret being homeschooled, in fact, they enjoyed the flexibility when we were doing it, but none have expressed a desire for their own kids to be homeschooled.

Edited October 8, 2022 by DawnM

[Lori D.]

Extremely positive experience here. (BUT, we finished YEARS before COVID, so that was not a factor.)

We homeschooled DSs from grades 1 &2 through high school graduation. They are now late 20s. Both DSs have said they are glad we homeschooled, both educationally and socially. They both have expressed how much they appreciate (now, looking back) that we did some tailored-to-their-interest courses in high school, and that we did a lot of our lit. together so they really got to dig in and enjoy discussing the ideas.

We live in a high-homeschooling area and we  were involved with a large homeschool support group with many activities. They also were very involved in church youth group, and had a "gang" (lol) of guys that they did a ton of social stuff and sleep overs all through high school -- so, lots of friends and social opportunities. They also had social/extracurriculars with public school students (both DSs played varsity tennis with the local high school), and with the state's YMCA Youth & Gov't program.

I think it has been more recently that they have both really appreciated that we were able to be so much more relaxed, to allow them to pursue interests all through the years, and for that to NOT stress out the family and the schedule by constantly having to be "on the clock" and having to follow a school's schedule and excessive piles of useless/busywork homework.

Both have done very well post-high school (see my signature for what they've. done), and have had a lot of confidence in trying out different things and, esp. DS#2, in following a more unusual post-high school path. Not sure they would have felt that confidence and security to "be different" if we hadn't homeschooled.

Neither DS has a family yet, but both are very open to wanting to homeschool if/when they do have a family.


I do think that there are SO many factors that come into play as to how it will all turn out:
- how committed and interested is the parent in homeschooling -- and how able is the parent to research, teach, tutor/mentor
- what the parent/child relationship is like, and how willing is the CHILD to school with the parent
- what are the social needs of the child (highly extroverted/introverted)
- what is the child's "learning style" like -- as in: does the child do better or worse with the challenge of peers/classroom
- how good/bad are your public/private school systems
- what social and extracurricular opportunities are there local to your location
- how much support/interaction is there with other homeschoolers

 

Edited October 8, 2022 by Lori D.

[EKS]

I think that the older one feels more positive about it than the younger one.  The older one knows that homeschooling is what allowed him to reach his potential (he is 2E), and he never really felt odd because of being homeschooled.  The younger one definitely felt that homeschooling made him odd, and though I know that he appreciates that we were able to study lots of interesting stuff, he wishes that he could have just been part of the whole public school scene from the beginning.  It doesn't help that we live in a neighborhood that at the time they were young didn't have many other kids and that our town is a bit geographically isolated where the only game in town when it comes to kids socializing is the public school.

Edited October 8, 2022 by EKS

[Scarlett]

5 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

 

5 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

….we never really know the road not taken. 

.

I would like to have  that on a T-shirt. 

Edited October 8, 2022 by Scarlett

[Lori D.]

4 hours ago, catz said:

...And my kids CHOSE to homeschool high school....

4 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Snipped that bit.  Yes, both my kids CHOSE to homeschool both middle and high school.  Especially for high school we had long talks [about it]...

Same here. Neither DS wanted to go to public high school AT ALL, and while they knew a number of friends and acquaintances at the private high school, they both really wanted to homeschool. I made it clear I was NOT going to "drag" anyone through high school at home, and honestly, for the most part, we all had a blast doing homeschool high school.

[Melissa Louise]

I've never asked them!

I assume it's like any other mode of education, good bits, neutral bits, some bits they didn't like.

No-one's complained - school was always an option for whomever wanted it - dd2 went to school in Year 7, dd1 and ds didn't care to take up the option. 

 

[TechWife]

We both think elementary grades were fine. We both wish he’d gone to a brick and mortar school for high school. We both disliked it for very different reasons, and dislike is  putting it mildly. 

[pinball]

2 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

Mine are very happy with their education, and were well prepared for college and the careers they have chosen. But, they have friends whose parents were lazy home schoolers and didn't make much effort, so they have seen the other side. We were in a soccer league for a few years, and then 4H and had competitive rocketry teams as well as a DNR related nature team (tracking invasive species and helping with other types of programs) so they got a lot of socialization. 

Dd is homeschooling our grandsons now. Or should I say, at the moment Marmee (me) is doing quite a bit while we do a few more weeks of her resting and not being 100% in the hopes that there will be no long, covid relapse. I homeschooled for a total of 19 years and thought I was retired. Ha ha ha! 

The senior engineer on youngest ds's project team at work was home schooled through high school. He and his wife are homeschooling their kids as well. My three sons are not having children though so this is not something they will be doing with their partners in the future.

Didn’t you say your sons were getting vasectomies after Roe was overturned? I thought I saw it on here in one of the threads.

[Melissa Louise]

Just to add, complicated feelings about parental education decisions are not restricted to homeschooling. 

I begged to be removed from my high school and my parents just laughed, really.

I am 99% sure that my experience of having zero say about being forced to be in a really brutish environment for six years with my eduction and mental health needs ignored caused way more complications for me than homeschooling did for my kids. 

It's about being in tune with your kids and their needs, not the mode of education. Staying flexible. 

 

 

 

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Melissa Louise said:

Just to add, complicated feelings about parental education decisions are not restricted to homeschooling. 

I begged to be removed from my high school and my parents just laughed, really.

I am 99% sure that my experience of having zero say about being forced to be in a really brutish environment for six years with my eduction and mental health needs ignored caused way more complications for me than homeschooling did for my kids. 

It's about being in tune with your kids and their needs, not the mode of education. Staying flexible.

Absolutely. 

I'd want to know how my kids felt about it whether they were critical or not, I guess. I'm interested. And I'd guess there'd be complicated feelings, as you say. 

[Not_a_Number]

2 hours ago, Quill said:

On balance, net negative. I grant you, they all have enough awareness to not totally disparage something they know was often a harder path, but if they were being completely candid, they all three seem to think there were more disadvantages than advantages. One of my kids felt that sense of oddity more than the other two seem to have felt. All three felt it limited their friend group to “just these few kids” who happen to be near enough in age and there was more need to be friends with these available kids. 

I do wonder how often kids are completely candid with their parents about things like this. I know that there were all sorts of things DD10 was absolutely not telling me, because she could sense I wasn't receptive... how I phrase the question makes a huge difference, as well as my tone. And DH is the same way, with me as well as with his parents -- he won't tell you if he feels like there's going to be judgment. 

(This is maybe more on the theme of "anxious, very gifted, very socially attuned people are hard to deal with"! But I know it's a factor over here.) 

[Melissa Louise]

3 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I do wonder how often kids are completely candid with their parents about things like this. I know that there were all sorts of things DD10 was absolutely not telling me, because she could sense I wasn't receptive... how I phrase the question makes a huge difference, as well as my tone. And DH is the same way, with me as well as with his parents -- he won't tell you if he feels like there's going to be judgment. 

(This is maybe more on the theme of "anxious, very gifted, very socially attuned people are hard to deal with"! But I know it's a factor over here.) 

Depends on the personality of the child.

Some come right out with it. Others hedge. Others are skilled at honesty + clear headed assessment. Some tell you want they think you want to hear. 

In some ways, it doesn't matter.

You do your best at the time to be attuned to the child's needs, you inevitably fall short of perfection, and as an adult, child has a variety of (not always predictable) thoughts about it, and all this is fine. 

But I do understand the curiosity. 

[TexasProud]

Mine are 27, 25 and 20.  They completely agree that the academics was WAY better than what they could have gotten in our local school system.  None of them had any problems adjusting to college work and found it rather easy in comparison. They do think it had very negative repercussions socially.  They didn't fit in with the public schooled kids at our church...well, I mean they did. They weren't mean to them. But no close friends. Value systems were different.  They didn't fit in with the kids in the next town that were part of the homeschool group.  They all socialized with each other at church and again, different values.   We just didn't fit in with anyone.  We were too conservative for our church  and too liberal for the homeschool group.  They wanted to fit in SOMEWHERE.

Now, that said, only the oldest one has had any trouble making friends.  My middle and younger one have a really good group of friends. So I guess I have to ask, was homeschooling really a mistake?  Plus, like the other ones, once they got to junior high, I asked them if they wanted to do it anymore. it was year by year. At high school, they had to decide for the four years. So it was their decision as well, but I think they felt very stuck.  Now my youngest one went to private school and has PTSD from it and says I chose completely wrongly.  She loved all of the teachers. They were awesome, but the administration.  And then she got disciplined for something that happened off school grounds... long story.  Probably was a mistake, but we would have killed each other.  I am not convinced the high school would have been a better option. But again, probably my fault. It always is. 

[Farrar]

Mushroom: "Homeschooling should be banned." But also: "You gave me the best education I could have gotten."

I mean, yeah, it's contradictory in some ways, but he basically thinks non-public education isn't good for the citizenry or government and it's a cause of fragmentation. But also, he recognizes that he got the best education he could have and that he was lucky. He just thinks it's a privilege that shouldn't be afforded to people.

[Rosie_0801]

My daughter was forced into public school at the beginning of grade four. Now, nearing the end of year 9, she still thinks it has been a dreadful waste of time and has absolutely no plans to waste her own kids lives like that. She will be open to negotiation if they want to do some kind of trades program in year 10, like she'll be doing beginning next year, but until then, she's sure they will have better things to do.

Socially, her best friend is from her homeschooling days, thanks to their parents' support, and we have dinner and play chess with another family from homeschooling days each school holidays. She did not have parental support in maintaining relationships from her three years in primary school, but social media has allowed her to keep in contact with two friends from years 7 and 8. 

[BlsdMama]

My adult children have offered Insight and I have listened and, at times, solicited their feedback. 
My oldest daughter (26) has a five year old so she is officially homeschooling now. She is a believer in homeschooling and has a four year university degree in psychology with a focus in education, but wishes she’d had a solid friend group who were both her age and were also homeschooled. I tend to agree. She lives in our area with a very large homeschooling network which she makes the added effort to be involved. 
 

My oldest son (23) says his experience was the ideal - limited peer involvement to become his own person but then heavy engagement with activities and peers in high school while still homeschooled and college credit. 
 

Our third (21) had a similar experience and also met her husband in the same group. They’ll homeschool. She was glad for academic rigor and a lot of public speaking. 
 

Our fourth (18) was an incredible introvert. She’s homeschool for college is she reasonably could, lol. 
 

i think our fifth (17) will eventually have a legitimate complaint. We had a very rocky relationship because he hated school and I was the task master. We might have had a better relationship without homeschooling but that’s questionable because, that said? He was late to good judgement and likely might have made some really rough choices in school. 
 

We purposefully moved to an area within driving distance of a vibrant homeschool community. My kids have the ability to make a before/after comparison. The oldest six have all taken college courses too so they don’t have some idealistic notion that school would have been better in some way.