Was 2021 better than 2020?

[Eos]

Our New Year's Eve tradition is reading through last year's predictions and tallying points for correct guesses, then making new ones for the coming year.  Last year one of the kids declared that 2021 would be "objectively better" than 2020.  We could and probably will argue over the modifier "objectively" but in the run up to NYE, I'm curious what others think. Subjectivity preferred here!

 

Edited December 29, 2021 by Eos

[Carrie12345]

Sigh.
Personally/individually/memyselfandI, in certain areas, 2021 was objectively better.
In other ways, and for some people I love, and generally speaking, it sucked just as bad, and almost feels like a “cancelling out” of the good.

[Eos]

30 minutes ago, Carrie12345 said:

it sucked just as bad,

I'm going to add this as an option.  Could be a winner.

Oops, changing the poll format moved two Too stressed answers to No change.  Rookie move.

Edited December 29, 2021 by Eos

[Cordelia]

Having the pandemic stress for the entire year, rather than for just 9 months of the year, was pretty draining for me. 

My FIL died in January and I've tried to support people through the emotional fall out of that. 

It's been a lot.

[Ditto]

I chose "too stressed to choose..." but in almost every way 2021 was far worse for me.   It feels like 2020 was just the highlight reel of bad and 2021 was the entire movie.   

[Slache]

I sais yes. I had personal reasons (my health), but I live in Texas and things here are open, people are working, we're doing things. It's much better here. I think. I'm happy.

[pitterpatter]

They were both bad. Ultimately, this year was worse, but really, 2020 was bad too...just in a different way. I don't think 2022 looks any better. I would like to roll back about ten years.

[MEmama]

For me personally, 2021 had more glimmers of light than 2020. Hands down the most difficult piece of the covid puzzle has been DS's mental health; helping him (or honestly, watching helplessly from the sidelines) get through the end of his junior and senior year was by far the most challenging and frightening experience I’ve had in this parenting adventure, and hands down the most stressful part of the pandemic. 2021 brought an end to that particular challenge when he graduated and moved across the ocean for university where he appears to be thriving. 
 

To be sure 2021 has brought its own challenges, from waves of covid fatigue to managing the empty nest while being stuck at home together every.minute.of.every.single.day, but those pale in comparison to the concern I had for DS. The political climate has helped immensely too, and while far from perfect there is a relative calm in knowing we are at last in capable hands.

[Serenade]

For me, 2021 was worse.  The hope of ever returning to a pre-covid normal is fading fast. In 2020, there was still hope that we'd eventually return to living like we did. Now I'm pretty certain things will never the same.  

[regentrude]

It's a tie.

2020: more uncertainty,  but the hope that pandemic is going to end soon. Lockdown, and Zoom teaching, but the feeling this is done for a purpose.

2021:  this plague is dragging on with no end in sight. Everything open and no Covid precautions at work= extra stress. Personal Good: lots of outdoor time. Better mental health. Personal Bad: dad died, cat died, fil died, aunt died.

Eta: my opinion of humans has now been irrevocably damaged.

Edited December 29, 2021 by regentrude

[Eos]

9 minutes ago, regentrude said:

this is done for a purpose.

2020

9 minutes ago, regentrude said:

this plague is dragging on with no end in sight.

2021

Really my feelings too.  In 2020 I felt I had creative inspiration to help myself and others get through, 2021 not so much.

[1234]

2021 was definitely better for us. Dc were able to return to in person college classes and we were all able to be vaccinated. We’ve felt comfortable going places while masked so haven’t felt stuck at home the whole time. Dh felt comfortable enough to travel and visit his parents which was nice. I have been able to visit with my mother inside her home again.  There are definitely things that still suck but this year was much better for us.

[Soror]

It was worse for me. Fatigue from a crappy 2020. More issues with children and way more stress than I could handle at times.

[freesia]

2021 was better for our family as a whole. The kids were able to do most things and our numbers were low and we all got vaccinated. It didn’t feel normal and the decisions weren’t always easy and some things were canceled, but fun things happened and the college kids had a more normal experience and the younger ones went to camp, etc. 

I gotta say, though, this new wave might just kick my butt. The kids hadn’t seen my mom or cousins first two years so we played it careful and got to see them. I assumed they could do some things this week that we pushed off but dh started pushing back on that last night, and I just lost it. I am so frustrated with it all. I know I’ve been overly optimistic this whole pandemic. I’m tired of saying no. I’m tired of feeling like I determine the emotional temperature of our home. I know I’m tired from our trip so I think I just need to chill out today and regroup. 
 

So, 2021 for the win until the very end. 

[Faith-manor]

For me, watching my community/region become militant, worse humans who literally are some of the most selfish, aggressive, nasty people now, I have found my faith in humanity waning and not likely to recover. There just isn't a whole lot of hope for the planet when half the people don't give a crap about anyone but themselves.

I started out 2021 with more hope, gleefully seeing my mom and mother in law vaxed, eagerly getting in line for mine, and seeing my husband, sons, daughter, and son in law gladly get theirs. And to be honest, we had a good spring and summer. We are embracing a more outdoorsy life anyway. We went camping with our sons, and had an absolute blast. We went camping with a beloved nephew and niece in law. We van camped just the two of us, and we bought a home we love on a mountain summit with a gorgeous view, marvelous yard for our grandsons, and plenty of room for all of us to gather. We are in fact all here today, the last of a 12 day trip, for our eldest grandson's sixth birthday having had a lovely Christmas together. So it isn't like it was all bad. Not at all.

However, it is still very difficult for me emotionally to embrace the sheer magnitude of how I feel about interacting with the public, my neighbors, just going into a store. My job in the fine arts was gutted. It is never going to recover. My very satisfying start to rebuilding a music/arts career is toast, and it is never coming back. My community choir, children's choir, local artist gallery shows, student art exhibitions, student theater, drama class, music students, hand bell ensemble, piano recitals...gone. It just isn't going to come back. It is very depressing to me.

Additionally, mother in law's health is declining, memory is getting bad. We purchased this house with the idea she would be able to enjoy some time here with us on the mountain, but she isn't going to be able to travel, and soon will need a staff.

The pandemic has prevented me from going to France to see my sister or her coming home. It has been four years noe since I last saw her, and I don't see that changing for 2022. 

We do have things to look forward to, and I am trying to cling to that. Our youngest graduates from college this spring, and we are taking all three sons (who have all graduated back to back semesters 2020/201/2022), on a big trip west immediately following commencement. Yellowstone, Glacier NP, Badlands, and the Danish American Museum. We have rented cabins/lodge houses for the whole trip and will cook all our own food, taking the camp cooking equipment with us into the parks so we can picnic. It will be a covid safe vacation. In June, I am taking my eldest son and mother on a road trip for research for a book he is under contract to write. Mom is so excited to be included. It is another socially distanced, outdoorsy vacation. In August, we camp with darling nephew and wife, and then at the end of the month move two of our three sons to their respective grad schools. In between, once the weather is decent on the Great Lakes, we will sail on the weekends we aren't traveling. So I am holding out hope for 2022 to be a good year for our family minus the issues with mother in law, and assuming I can suck it up and stop caring about my job/career. However, I really do not have a lot of hope for the world/society/America in general. This country is regressing, and a significant portion for the country is very happy with that.

[JustEm]

For myself and my family 2020 and 2021 were the same, both extremely better than 2019.  As a family, we really needed a reason to reconnect and just be away from all obligations so we could focus on ourselves and each other.  It sucks how that had to happen but on a personal level I don't know how we would have gotten where we are now without the forced togetherness. They were the 2 strongest years of my marriage so far, which again is because of how 2019 played out and how the marriage could have fallen apart. 

For the community and the world, I simply don't know.

[Pam in CT]

Both sucked, obviously.

I was talking last night with my 27 yo eldest, whose high school friend was hospitalized yesterday with COVID, that the last two years feel like an extended play of Chutes & Ladders.  I've always loathed that game.

 

For me personally, 2021 > 2020.  The pressing mental health crises receded, there were glimmers of light and family gatherings and fun experiences we managed to fit in between vaccination and variant surges, I started a few new longterm initiatives that I'm feeling positive about.  I feel like I've developed some tools of resiliency that I didn't have before.

But it's definitely brought to the surface who among my loved ones are the sprinters vs the marathoners.

[Elizabeth86]

Hell no! A few people I knew actually cared in 2020. Also, I didn’t know anyone that died from covid in 2020. I did start seeing my parents again due to vaccines, but now I’m more stressed than ever because I’m not sure having the vaccine will help as much as I did when my parents first got it.

Edited December 29, 2021 by Elizabeth86

[73349]

My health has been better in 2021. And I find it a relief not to feel like I have to follow the news as closely. But "better than 2020" is not really a comparison I think worth considering carefully. I think I'm going to vote "too stressed to choose."

[vonfirmath]

1 hour ago, Slache said:

I sais yes. I had personal reasons (my health), but I live in Texas and things here are open, people are working, we're doing things. It's much better here. I think. I'm happy.

Also in Texas.

For the most part, 2021 was better than 2020 even if not all that I hoped for.

 

[Farrar]

2021 was more tumultuous for my family. We had a lot of ups and downs. Definitely more good things overall than 2020, but more bad things as well and just a lot of intensity. 2020 was surreal and not good, but also, we weathered the opening act of the pandemic really well and without a lot of turmoil. It now feels like a really quiet year to me. Everything just stopped and we mostly were okay personally even as the world was falling apart a bit.

[TexasProud]

1 hour ago, Slache said:

I sais yes. I had personal reasons (my health), but I live in Texas and things here are open, people are working, we're doing things. It's much better here. I think. I'm happy.

Which is why for me, it is worse.  In 2020 my friend were in the same boat.  We made a way to keep connected. Then in late 2020, life became normal here again.  I cannot participate in my normal activities.  They are all seeing each other at all of my previous activities.  I only see my husband and my dying mother on a regular basis and my dh is overseas a lot.  So there is me… alone while the world goes on without ne.  Made me see how truly insignificant I really sm.  Once mom is gone, no one will miss me really. 

[Slache]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

Which is why for me, it is worse.  In 2020 my friend were in the same boat.  We made a way to keep connected. Then in late 2020, life became normal here again.  I cannot participate in my normal activities.  They are all seeing each other at all of my previous activities.  I only see my husband and my dying mother on a regular basis and my dh is overseas a lot.  So there is me… alone while the world goes on without ne.  Made me see how truly insignificant I really sm.  Once mom is gone, no one will miss me really. 

I'm sorry. Honestly they're probably missing you now, but respecting your choices. I'm grateful that my friends respected mine. We didn't go back to normal until late November.

[Spryte]

I’d like to choose the “semi-hysterical laughter” option, please.

Eh. Both have sucked. Just differently.

Hoping for better next year.

[TexasProud]

3 minutes ago, Slache said:

I'm sorry. Honestly they're probably missing you now, but respecting your choices. I'm grateful that my friends respected mine. We didn't go back to normal until late November.

Might be true.  I was camping in late August/ early September and SO excited to start choir, Bible study, and in person classes again. Then the gut punch of Delta and mom’s terminal diagnosis and all of my extraverted dreams smashed to pieces. Now Omicron. I am going to be alone forever. 

[DreamerGirl]

In some ways better and in some ways worse.

In 2020, I was more optimistic and hopeful. But it was more like I buried my head under the sand and refused to look reality in the face,

In 2021, Good things were  the vaccines and DH and I getting to go back to my country of origin, but reality also hit me square on the face.

Delta in my country of origin was more than I could take. No one in my immediate family died, but I watched beloved friends and family die. Many older couples within days of each other.  It was the most death I have ever seen. 

I lost what is remaining of my faith in a God who cared. Everything I read, sang and repeated over and over again failed to sustain a faith I desperately tried to nurture at the face of what was happening. For my own sanity I had to step away and ironically found peace.

Jan 6th was like a gut punch to my idea of a lot of things.

A lot of things I valued were washed away and I have had to build from the ground up. 

But through it all, the one thing that was reiterated over and over was the relationships I poured all into prioritizing above all. My family and friends. Our family our 4 is closer than ever. Relationships with our family scattered across the globe is good despite some bumps. Friends, our family here are closer than ever. 

I always try to see the good in things, be grateful, hopeful and for the most part I am.

But I also cannot hide any more that some things suck more than ever, some things are gone forever. The childhood I envisioned for DD5 who has a big gap between her brother DS14 will not be the different but good I thought, but just be different bad in many ways. 

We travelled this year, but I was anxious the whole time. A route I have travelled for 20 years, sometimes by myself only with babies. I will do it again because I have to as my parents especially are old. But I don't want to.

I am just tired, worn out. 

The thing  I mourn the most is the person I was. I was a much better person because I was more naive and hopeful.

Now I am more cynical, anxious and stubbornly hopeful and that is because I am holding on to that better part of me.

Hope is the one that sustains us. That things will become better. I hope so.

Edited December 29, 2021 by DreamerGirl

[shawthorne44]

3 hours ago, Slache said:

I sais yes. I had personal reasons (my health), but I live in Texas and things here are open, people are working, we're doing things. It's much better here. I think. I'm happy.

I can only speak for my family, but 2021 was better than 2020 AND 2019.   

2020 the lockdown killed my niece.   My MIL was diagnosed with cancer.   People generally isolating probably helped her because chemo/radiation you are supposed to isolate but she wasn't interested.   But since other people were isolating, there wasn't much for her to do.  

2021 is better even than 2019 because I live in Texas and my company is still doing WFH.   So, outside of WFH, life is normal.  Places are open, I see smiling faces.   This WFH thing has made such a huge improvement on my life and our family.  

 

[elegantlion]

2021 was worse in many ways. 2020 was bad enough, it was as if the greater good outweighed the greater bad in 2020 in my personal life. I moved in with SO, we're both introverted hermits, so for 2020 we spent a lot of time together, learning how to live together, and much of the solitude was great. 2021 saw other bigger challenges, we're still doing fine living together, but other people were out, not caring about Covid, I couldn't isolate as much - I'm immunecompromised and vaccinated but super cautious. There were things that ended in 2021 that we knew would - being vague on purpose. 

2022 is not looking to be much better. Maybe 2023 will be our year, lol. 

I just saw this calendar at Office Depot, seems to fit. 

https://www.officedepot.com/a/products/6825269/TF-Publishing-Humor-Monthly-Wall-Calendar/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&mediacampaignid=71700000041996131_1595784683&&gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=Cj0KCQiAq7COBhC2ARIsANsPATGnN5hevMhKl5BP3gSF-JgL5bhKkqH4x2kEgMUQ7cr2YddyCT0tUsoaAoD0EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

 

[Lawyer&Mom]

2020 I had Covid.  2021 I finally got recognition and medical care for my LongCovid and my whole family got vaccinated.  My life still looks nothing like it did in 2019, but 2021 was way better. 

[sassenach]

For me, day to day stress was worst in 2020 but we had a significantly hard, prolonged stressful event this year that puts 2021 in the loser column. I would say on average they were pretty equal. Based on events that I know are coming, I'm not expecting 2022 to be easier. Maybe 2023 will be ok?

[Corraleno]

2021 has been vastly better for my kids, especially since they could take in-person classes again. For DD that literally made the difference between Fs (online classes) and As (same classes in person). DS's grades didn't suffer but he was miserable and lonely with all classes online, plus he really needs to be training and competing to stay sane, and having training suspended and all competitions canceled in 2020 took a huge toll on him. In 2020 DD was very much in the "covid is NBD" camp, one of many reasons we had limited contact that year. Now she is triple-vaxxed, much more cautious, and our relationship has improved to the point that she is in the process of moving back home, which is something I would never have predicted in 2020.

For me personally, I think 2020 and 2021 have been pretty much the same — no travel, no socializing, mostly getting groceries delivered. I bought a new car in the fall of 2019 and it still has less than 2000 miles on it, lol. I think the main thing that has changed is my attitude towards people — in 2020 I was still looking forward to getting back to seeing friends, thinking about volunteering, thinking about visiting family. After 2021 my faith in humanity will never recover and I really have no desire to be around people any more. I still hope to travel again when things settle down, but otherwise I am happy to be a hermit for the rest of my life and mostly just interact with my kids. I do want to adopt more dogs, though, since I much prefer them to people.

[shawthorne44]

The last couple of years has really brought out the hermit in people.  I've heard that from lots of people.  That they say No to social things just because.  

[Janeway]

I did not answer because it said "in hindsight" on the 2020/2021 thing. 2021 has totally sucked. 2020 was better, but by the holidays, it sucked too. 

[Elizabeth86]

3 hours ago, Spryte said:

I’d like to choose the “semi-hysterical laughter” option, please.

Eh. Both have sucked. Just differently.

Hoping for better next year.

Yes! These are the words I was looking for!

[WildflowerMom]

2021 has been a total shitshow, far worse than 2020, at least for me.   I think on January 1, I'm going to come down with selective amnesia and never mention 2021 again.  

[mlktwins]

2021 was far worse for my family personally.

2020 was stressful because the virus was new and there were so many unknowns.  While I enjoyed lock down and not rushing everywhere, we had extra stress of keeping 3 elderly parents safe and making sure they had everything they needed.  Trying to make the best decisions for everyone that year stunk. 

2021 I thought would be so much better!  We knew more about the virus and there was hope with the vaccines.  We did breathe a little easier when my family of 4 (and my dad) were vaccinated.  My boys got back into swim team and we had a great time at the summer league meets and seeing everyone again.  School this fall was a little more normal.  But...we lost both of my in-laws in spring (not Covid) and then my dad fell in July causing him to need 24/7 care in his home.  It has honestly been a nightmare of a year and I am hoping and praying 2022 is better.  I have actually been struggling so much for many reasons since 2018 so I'm ready for a turnaround!

[Melissa Louise]

It was worse for us in AU. 

2020 we had very little Covid, an agreed upon public health approach, and financial support built into lock downs. This largely continued through the first half of '21, though the vax roll out was slow. 

Since then? The words 'absolute sh*t show' were coined for mid to late '21. 

 '22 may or may not be worse/better. I don't care to bring the evil eye by hoping for better. 

[Kassia]

2021 was way way worse for me and DH.  Just awful and I'm really struggling emotionally and physically.

But it was a really good year for my four kids and their SOs, so I'm grateful for that.  

 

[bookbard]

2021 has been worse covid-wise where I am. Far worse. Longer lockdowns, higher numbers.

My MIL died, and so many people I know in the local community have died (none from covid, mostly cancer). Mother of a kid at my son's school died on Christmas, suddenly. We had the awful tragedy in Tasmania of 6 kids dying on a jumping castle. It feels like horror after horror. 

If you were in Victoria not NSW, though, 2020 might have been worse due to fires and long lockdown. But where I am, the fires were 2019 and we had really bad floods in 2021. There are people who still can't get to their houses as the road hasn't been repaired yet from the floods (mind-blowing). 

Plus I think the first wave of Covid came with this hope that it would have a positive effect on climate change. Maybe with all the parked planes and no one on the roads, maybe we'd see the light and keep the low pollution . . . but it didn't happen. There was actually a rise in temperature due to a number of factors. So now it feels like we have more disdain of climate change than ever, plus covid is just going insane right now.

There's only one thing in 2022 that could be good, we have a federal election. Of course, that could also go quite badly, you can never tell. 

[Frances]

13 hours ago, Slache said:

I sais yes. I had personal reasons (my health), but I live in Texas and things here are open, people are working, we're doing things. It's much better here. I think. I'm happy.

I think it is like this everywhere in the US. I don’t think there are any states where as much is closed in 2021 as was in 2020. I’m in one of the few states that still has a mask mandate, but that’s about it.

[Shoeless]

Define "better". 

This is a question I don't know how to answer, like when someone asks how I am doing. I have no idea. I am alive and no one here is sick, so I guess I am ok? 

 

[Stacia]

2020 was hard but it was a communal hard, as in the entire world was trying to figure out how to live in a pandemic. So, I guess it felt hard but it also felt like everyone was in the same or similar boat?

2021 feels not quite as heavy pandemic-wise (more knowledge makes it feel just one iota -- not more -- better), but has personally been a much, much worse year for my family.

Not feeling optimistic about 2022 just based on the personal life things my family is navigating right now.

Anyway, my vote is that 2021 is worse.

[DawnM]

2021 was the most stressful year for me.   Some of it was covid related, and some of it was not.

 

[KidsHappen]

2021 has probably been my worst year ever.

In 2019 both of my oldest dds and their families moved from GA to TN and I finally had all of my dds in TN. They moved in with us until they could find their own housing. That meant that when covid hit in early 2020 we already had our own pod with my oldest two dds, their hubbys and all four of my dgc. Even though we had to stay home and wear masks on the very rare occasions that we had to go out the house was full of love and laughter. My health was pretty good most of the year. I was severely ill for 9 weeks in September and October but there was lots of family around to help out. I rebounded in November but then my health started a serious decline from December through March until I had a complete collapse in April 2021.

On April 2nd I ended up in the hospital with severe neuropathy from almost complete depletion of vitamin B12. I was in the hospital and rehab for a month and then spent my first month home in the downstairs guest bedroom. I had to learn to stand and walk and use the bathroom all over again. I was in a wheelchair for several months and then graduated to a walker. Both of my oldest dds found their own housing and moved out which given my health was probably a good thing. I missed having them around though but I do still see them on a regular basis. My youngest two and their SOs have now moved back in so that is nice. Because I was housebound and bedridden for most of the year my only knowledge of what was going on in the world was via this board and the news which was never good. I won't even go into how bad things are in the US right now.

I do have hope that this next year will be better at least for me personally. We haven't had our family celebration yet so I am looking forward to that on the 9th of January. I am slowly recovering. I can now stand or walk without my walker for small periods of time and hope to be graduating to a cane here soon. I will be watching some of my dgc for a couple of hours a few afternoons each week. One of my dd had a miscarriage at 12 weeks this year and she is now pregnant again so I am hopeful for a new dgc in the early fall. I am optimistic that covid will finally peter out and life will go on in a new somewhat normal fashion and then hopefully some of the of the issues we are having like supply chain, inflation, overwhelmed health systems, etc. will resolve. I am not as hopeful about some political and social issues but maybe as people's personal stressors go down we will all be in a better position to work on these (this part may be wishful thinking on my part but one can hope). So over all I would say that I am cautiously optimistic about next year but I would be afraid to say that it has to be better than this year. I wouldn't want to tempt fate like that.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Personally, I think it's a wash. Both years had good and bad. We've survived and are ready to push through a new year. I think 2022 will be better.