I think diversity has to be taught. For me, the simplest thing is through food. We buy books of different cuisines and cook around the world as a family. Another method is going out to eat in different restaurants of various ethnicities, the hole in the wall ones. One more thing is shopping for ingredients to cook in diverse stores. Second is through media. Be it books, music, television or movies. Learning to watch through subtitles or by changing languages available to something we all understand. Reading translated books. Travel. While that is not always available or even possible you can do that through videos and books or magazines. Basically show how different people live all over the world. Being multi-lingual. Not shying away from teaching the not so pleasant parts of history. Teaching different types of sexuality. I think exposure to different ways of life makes makes children comfortable with the idea of differences while showing them that people are people.

There is 12 of us under our roof today. My parents, inlaws and BIL's family are visiting. They live in two different countries. This is something that I took for granted that would happen without any effort always. Two years have changed that thought. Yet here we are today. It is houseful and bursting with the usual chaos associated with it and noisy. But in the past 2 years when it was the 4 of us rattling around, I would hope and despair of days like these ever happening. We don't have any plans except to hang out and just do normal things Previously we would always try to always have back to back travel or something special scheduled. But this feels like an event itself. Technology is great at keeping in touching, but nothing beats just being in each other's presence. I am so very happy.

Forgiveness for me is two fold. It means doing the one thing I have control over which is letting go of any feelings or thoughts I have towards that person that impacts me. I cannot demand an apology or expect remorse from another person. What I have control over is what my reaction is so let go any expectation. If it happens, it is nice. I am always willing to talk about it. If not, I do not waste my time and energy on that as it affects my mood and emotions. So I use forgiveness as a means of letting go of negative thoughts and feelings that affect me about a person and/or a situation. The second part is strong boundaries.

My school had slide and what we called jungle gym for very small children. The older kids had to run and play. Parks were not a very big thing then like now. But pretty much every house had a swing. A huge one in the middle of the house that was as long and wide as a twin bed I would say. A fully grown adult could lay down and sleep on it without falling. I have always had a thing for swings ever since and even now I have porch swings, swing chairs both indoor and outdoor. I always love the feeling of swinging. I always love and loved games that involve lots of running or ball games. But swings are something I have a thing for even now. I don't think I will ever outgrown them.

I used to love jeans, cannot abide them now. The fabric feels so hard. It is a texture issue. I wear a lot of linen, cotton and velvet pants. I have a lovely tailor who makes them in my country of origin and have it sent over or pack muled by visiting family. Otherwise it is leggings or yoga pants. But I am starting to dislike having the waistband at all. Thus experimenting with wearing dresses a lot more because the older I get, I like loose and flowy, nothing restrictive. Midi and maxi dresses it is.

OP, stay out of it as it has the potential to affect your relationship with both of them. If you bring both of them together and play mediator you run the risk of your 30 year old thinking you are infantilizing him at the minimum. I cannot speak for how your 20 year old may react, but when I was out of the house at a much younger age and an independent adult by every metric I tended to not react well at people who were well intentioned but I perceived as treating me like a child. A sibling IMO is one of the best people to practice relationships on when it comes to boundaries, especially as young adults navigating the world. You as a parent do not see the world like they do. Siblings are in most cases safe people we grew up with, who know us, love us and yet will tell us exactly how they feel if we push them. Let this play out between them. Listen and do not say anything. It is healthier for both of them if they figure it out by themselves and will help when it comes to relationships with each other and even others in my experience.

Stay out of it. Listen but do not say anything. Most of all, do not take sides unless it is absolutely essential. My relationship with my brother though we have not lived in the same country for going two decades is incredibly close. It is not linear, we have gone through ups and downs, but it has endured because we had to find a way to do it our way and accommodating our needs, our lives and our personalities. No one, not spouses or parents can define it for us.

I just learned the English word for the smell of rain. It is the unique smell of rain falling on dry, parched soil. It is a very earthy smell. You can also smell it occasionally when the sprinklers hit parched earth in the height of summer. My language has a word to describe it and I have often wondered if English had a word too. It is Pertichor. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petrichor

I concentrated on taste and nutrition then texture. It was lentils and rice with spices mashed slightly with a bit of ghee. Porridge with different grains. Soups or more broth with bones, bit of meat, onion, ginger, garlic. Vegetable soups mashed all with a little bit of spice like cumin, coriander, turmeric, fennel, garam masala, tiny bit of chilli powder. Parboiled vegetables and raw fruits cut up. Texture was rice and curries with small portions of fish, chicken and egg. Yogurt and rice with a little bit of seasonings. Sprinkle of herbs. Steamed rice cake, a tiny bit of flat breads and bread, pasta and noodles. Basically introducing the palette.

I am not a make up person, more a skin care person. So I work on my skin with vegan and natural products. I wear lip balm balm mostly for a spot of color. I wear lip gloss and mascara when I need to. I also get my brows threaded once in 6-8 weeks. If I am going out for an event, it is almost always professionally done make up.

@Quill not sure if this is relevant, but FWIW. When I came here as a student, there were parents of friends who took me under their wing. I was not floundering or looked like I needed help. I was quite capable of taking care of myself, going for a master's degree and also holding down a job. But I needed help in ways like learning to drive because it was not a skill that was necessary in my country of origin. Or swimming which I thought I could from a class, but needed extra help. In fact, it was taught by a father of friend who did sea rescues. I was always very careful not to impose, thought of myself as capable and I would have floundered. But I was offered help kindly because people really looked at what I lacked, what I wanted. I would have had a longer learning curve or never swam if not for those kind people. I always have a very soft spot for people like that who take those who are not their's under their wing and offer guidance and support. It made a world of difference to me and they are another set of grandparents for my kids now. What you are doing is wonderful. I don't really know what advice to give on how to do it, but I say a lot about how it felt to be at the receiving end of it and what a difference it makes especially if you are a young adult who is a bit proud to ask for needed help. 😊

*Deconverting anglican here disclaimer*. My former home church is in Asia. I volunteered from mid teens to be a Sunday school teacher. Then progressed to youth group. My church had Sunday school, youth, choir, women's ministry, men's ministry, prison ministry, village ministry. It was heavily run by volunteers. I do not remember overlap at all with the pastor at the head. What you describe is unsustainable. Please don't be afraid to speak up. You are not complaining.

This brings back memories. My grandmother used to make a dish made with lungs and liver and spices, onion, ginger, garlic. The lung was cut into such small pieces that you would not have texture issues like what @Spy Car refers to. I only had it once though, was quite lovely actually until I was told what it was. Then it was 🤢. I could never get over lungs. I still eat liver and hoof (yes I know sounds 🤢 🤑but when you cook it with black chickpeas, onion, ginger, garlic, spices it turns it into *chef's kiss* in my view. Still it is a bridge too far for many in my family. My grandmother used to eat a lot of offal. Washed well and delicious until you know what part it was. 😂

I understand, mine too. My kids get annoyed when I teach them with a pinch of that or this. They tell me their hands are smaller. I did look up the beets and coconut milk soup though. It does exist. Your curry sounds lovely.

My kids love to "interview" their grandparents. They ask questions and record them. Grandparents taught our language to them. If grandparents are fluent in another language or your family has roots from elsewhere, you could attempt to learn the language. Tracing family history. Cook together. Watch movies Play games Just sit and talk Go on walks together