Did your infant sleep with you?

[staceyobu]

I've been doing some research on cosleeping after the pediatrician warned against it. I was just wondering what percentage of moms on here coslept. I'm also going to throw in nursing vs bottle feeding since some think that makes a difference in sleep situations...

[Ibbygirl]

I didn't set out to have my child sleep in my bed (they had a crib, bassinette of their own), but they usually wound up in my bed at some point in the night when I was too tired to stay up rocking them anymore. I nursed them both.

[Whereneverever]

Yes, we coslept. I breastfed, too.

[yslek]

Co-slept with all of them for the first 1-3 years of life. Also breastfed. IW still cosleeps & nurses. :)

[LillyMama]

My rule was they co-slept until the slept through the night without feeding, then we transitioned to cribs in their rooms.

 

I tried to nurse my son, had to exclusively pump. He slept in the bassinet by the bed about 50% of the time, with me the rest. This only lasted for about five months, because I wanted him to nap better and, for me, that meant sleeping in his crib. (Of course, then I immediately got pregnant with my daughter. Coincidence? I think not...)

 

With said daughter, I nursed her about six months, she only co-slept with me until about 5 months again.

[jelbe5]

I finally got smart with #3 and co-slept with her. She was exclusively bfed. She never cried at night, would just start to move a little and I would nurse and we would both drift off. We all slept very well, which was heaven after our son was not a good sleeper as an infant. My monthly also stayed away the longest with that baby.:001_smile:

[Samiam]

DS1 didn't because the "BOOKS" said it wasn't safe. We did EVERYTHING by the book with him...poor guy :). He was bottle-fed after about 10 weeks old.

 

DS2 did at about one year old. Up to that point, he was a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE sleeper, woke up all night long, in his crib. One night out of sheer exhaustion, I put him in bed with me and he slept the whole night...tried it again next nigh, same thing...dawned me that he needs me, mommy warmth, to sleep comfortably (he was also a surviving twin and it made sense that he was needing somebody to be with him, duh to me for not getting that sooner!). He was bottle fed after about six months.

 

DS3 slept with me from Day one. He had a crib, in my room, but it was really only used for naptimes when I wasn't going to be in bed with him. He didn't even have a bedroom of his own, well, shared with his brother, until he was four. He was breast-fed until age three (gosh, I was so enlightened with this child, :)....wish I had known so much with first DS!).

 

DS2 and DS3 still sleep with me quite often as DH works nights. I am fine with it and cherish it. I know they will get to the age when they won't want to. DS1 who is now 13 would not HEAR of sleeping with me :(....wish I would have taken the time to snuggle with him more when he was little.

[*Lulu*]

I voted that I moved the baby after first awakening, but it was really a mix. I did it a little differently for each child based on thier needs. My DD that was sleeping through the night at a few weeks of age co-slept from age 3 until age 5. My oldest DS co-slept exclusively for a few months, then was only occasionally in our bed. My personal favorite was when our last DS was still nursing through the night plus we had a pre-K-er that was insistent that our bed was the place for sleeping.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I nursed all three of mine. I had a co-sleeper for when baby was OK with it but I pulled them in with me when they were too fussy about it. I value my sleep! I will say that my sleep while co-sleeping with baby right next to me was a different, much lighter sleep. I always kept the babies on my side, away from DH. Honestly, I do not think he was capable of being responsive while sleeping. I certainly can't explain the fact that I was. Maternal instinct?

 

My babies slept with me and/or in the co-sleeper for six months. At that point, they were all nursing only once a night (DS9) or sleeping straight through (DD and DS5). If they woke early, straight to bed with me they went for their morning nursies. This ensured that we would both drift off again for another couple of hours.

 

One of my sweetest memories... DD slept through the night before 3 months. I thought she might as well move to her crib, so I had DH break down the co-sleeper. The first night she was in there, I felt terrible. I cried and ended laying on the floor next to her bed for a while. Then I just took her back to bed with me. The next day, DH reassembled the co-sleeper without any fuss. He thought it was sweet. I thought he was sweet. :001_wub:

[SonshineLearner]

If you feel a bit unsafe, then shove your bed up against the wall, put the baby there. There are little rectangles that they can sleep in... kinda like a little cot in your bed. Then they are with you, but don't get under (your) covers as easily. Under most circumstances I think it's just fine and not more risky than sleeping alone. (If you're doing drugs... legal or not... or drinking... or have some type of sleep problem that you don't wake up.. then don't...)

[Lab1]

Coslept 100% of the time with each of them. Also bfed.

[Chelli]

I nursed but didn't ever put our babies in bed with us. I slept awful if they were in bed with us as infants. Afraid I would roll on them or dh would. I kept waking up to check on them. As any mother knows you need to get good sleep when you can!

 

I did have a bassinett right next to our bed so I could feed them when they woke up. All of our dc slept through the night (8 hours straight) young though, the girls when they were 3 months old and our son when he was two months old. At that point I moved them into their cribs with the baby monitor.

[scrappyhappymama]

I co-sleep with my infants while they still wake frequently at night. We keep a crib in our room (with a Moses basket in it for when they are tiny) and usually they will nap there. Once baby starts sleeping longer stretches at night, I'll usually start them in their crib and they'll end up in my bed at some point in the night or early in the morning.

 

We usually have our baby's crib in our room until they are around two. That way it is easy for me to tend to them during the night, if necessary. I also just like having them close by and being able to hear them breathing during the night. :)

 

Both DH and I are big advocates of co-sleeping and expected to co-sleep for longer than just the newborn stage. But I have found that I do not sleep well with a baby in bed with me. I have a bad back and if I don't sleep in a certain position, I always wake with a backache. It's worth it to me when baby is waking every few hours anyway, but once they sleep a little longer, it's easier on me for them to be nearby but not actually in my bed. So the crib in our room has been a nice compromise for us.

 

I voted nursed and co-slept full time, because I consider in our room and welcome in our bed anytime to be co-sleeping. We don't even have a nursery or baby room.

Edited June 1, 2012 by scrappyhappymama

[Jpoy85]

N was bottle fed and no co-sleeping. i didnt know i could.

C was breast/bottle fed and co-slept AND co-bedded.

L was breastfed and co-slept and still co-sleeps.

[TexasRachel]

DS2 did at about one year old. Up to that point, he was a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE sleeper, woke up all night long, in his crib. One night out of sheer exhaustion, I put him in bed with me and he slept the whole night...tried it again next nigh, same thing...dawned me that he needs me, mommy warmth, to sleep comfortably (he was also a surviving twin and it made sense that he was needing somebody to be with him, duh to me for not getting that sooner!).

 

This was us with our last two. I tried to have DS4 in a crib, but around 6 weeks he developed colic and would scream all night long. Unless he was in bed with us. To this day, we call him our little leach because he still wants to cuddle so close and wrap around you. With our last DS we just put him in bed with us from the start. He would occasionally sleep in the crib, but he had colic too that was "cured" by cosleeping. With the next one, we'll cosleep as well. We just have to get DS4 to stay out of our bed and get DS2 out to begin with. Lol.

 

Oh, and mine were all breast fed.

[Tap]

Other....it was different with each. My bio-kids were nursed for a few months and then bottle fed (my milk dries up fast). DD5 was only bottle fed.

 

Ds17 hated to sleep with other people, even as an infant. He would push you away if any skin to skin contact occurred while he slept. He is a very, very affectionate person when awake, just not asleep. He was in his own bed, in his own room as soon as he out grew the bassinet in our room.....maybe 2mths old.

 

DD13 liked co-sleeping but she is a twist-turn-flip kid when she is sleeping. No one slept if she was in the bed. She was quickly shifted to a playpen in our room beside the bed, and then a mat beside the bed as she got older.

 

DD5 was 5mo old when she came to us. She would go to sleep in her own room, but when she woke in the night, she would only go back t sleep if she slept on my chest. As she got heavier (and hard to for me to breath with her on top of me LOL) she was shifted to a mat beside me. She has a sleep disorder now, so we think that is what was happening as a baby as well.Once she was medicated for sleep, she now sleeps in her own room all night again.

Edited June 1, 2012 by Tap, tap, tap

[BakersDozen]

I nursed but didn't ever put our babies in bed with us. I slept awful if they were in bed with us as infants. Afraid I would roll on them or dh would. I kept waking up to check on them. As any mother knows you need to get good sleep when you can!

 

I remember having my first baby in bed beside me the night we brought her home. I didn't sleep. I just can't have my babies in bed with me because I cannot allow myself to sleep the way I need to. I even tried kicking dh out of bed so as to eliminate his flailing but that didn't work, either, as I still worried about baby's safety. Having a crib in a nursery works great for me and my little ones. :)

[Ellie]

Yup. Didn't co-sleep with the first, from which I learned how important it was to co-sleep. I was zonked by 7 in the evening with dd#1, who didn't co-sleep; was wonderfully rested with dd#2, who did.

[Slartibartfast]

I breastfed and co-slept with both of mine.

 

Both weaned about 3 1/2

Edited June 1, 2012 by Sis

[coffeefreak]

If you feel a bit unsafe, then shove your bed up against the wall, put the baby there. There are little rectangles that they can sleep in... kinda like a little cot in your bed. Then they are with you, but don't get under (your) covers as easily. Under most circumstances I think it's just fine and not more risky than sleeping alone. (If you're doing drugs... legal or not... or drinking... or have some type of sleep problem that you don't wake up.. then don't...)

 

:iagree:

 

We did a mix. At night, once my oldest was about a month, dh could not function anymore with her in the bed so we moved her to her crib. However, during the day, I napped with her and, since I always fed on demand, we often fell asleep in those first couple of months. DH worked nights for 3 years and she would often sleep with me until he came home and moved her to her own bed. She only breast fed for 3 months.

 

My youngest breast fed for 16 months, and we had a cool bassinet that was right next to the bed so dh could sleep more comfortably. He would still wake up with us to feed, but any movement by the baby and he would sit straight up thinking he had rolled on her. Poor guy:lol: So, that was our compromise. However, when he got up to go to work at 5, she would want to eat and I'd keep her in the bed with me. We also did all nap times together. I have such cute pics of my girls sleeping in my bed together all snuggly. My girls still cuddle up with me in my bed in the morning. And when one of them is sick, they nap in "Mommie's bed." I have to think it's because we let them co-sleep off and on. No harm done.:001_smile:

Edited June 1, 2012 by coffeefreak

[Truscifi]

I had a co-sleeper bassinet. It is the same height as the bed on the side next to the bed, and has a higher side wall around the rest. Dh couldn't sleep with the baby in the bed, he was always paranoid he would roll over on him. He did sleep with me occasionally if dh was working late.

[Melissa in Australia]

the baby would start off in bassinet beside my bed, and after he/she woke up, wold be moved into my bed. I did this with all 5 children.

[Murphy101]

All of the above at this point of 10 babies over 17 years.:)

 

My preference? Nursing and cosleeping.

[Catwoman]

It looks like I'm pretty much bringing up the rear here, poll-wise, with my response of Bottle Fed, No Co-Sleeping.

 

I'm starting to feel a little freakish and unpopular.

 

But I was always afraid to put ds in bed with me because I feared I might roll over and smother him or something.

[happymomofboys]

I chose bottles and they never slept with me, though I did nurse both of my children for about 6 weeks each, before switching over. They both slept in a bassinet next to my bed until they were sleeping through the night. I would lay with them in the bed with me sometimes, but I am a large woman and I was always afraid of somehow accidentally suffocating them, so I never let myself fall asleep until they were safely back in their own bed.

[Rosy]

I was miserable the few times I had anyone in my bed besides DH and I. I'd kick him out if I could, too. :P I couldn't fully relax when the baby was there. Breastfeeding was never a problem for me--I would get up and nurse them, then put them back to bed when I was done. Sometimes I fell asleep in the chair.

 

I think it could be very discouraging for some women to think that breastfeeding means your baby has access to your body around the clock. Some people need space and shouldn't be made to feel that they can't meet their baby's needs as well as their own. If you desire to sleep with your baby, there are safe ways to do it. If not, don't. Either way, it's a personal decision and moms don't need to add to our guilt by adopting a sleeping arrangement with which we're not comfortable.

[LaxMom]

The three youngers all co-slept until they were over 3, all breastfed. With the boys, we took one side off the crib we had and pushed it against my side of the bed. The mattresses were the same height, and it gave us more room.

[Mergath]

I breastfed and then had to switch to bottles after a few weeks because the meds I went on weren't safe for bfing, and we've always coslept.

[marbel]

I voted for nurse/co-sleep all the time but that was just with my 2nd.

 

My first went to his own bed and slept through the night early, maybe about 4 weeks. I would get up to nurse him occasionally.

 

My second was completely different. She was not a good sleeper at all. I was up and down so much in the night.

 

So, we just brought her into bed with us. It made it easier for both my husband and me to get our sleep. We both slept well with her in the bed, even though she would position herself so she was touching both of us. (At 13 this girl still likes to hold my hand, snuggle when we're reading or watching tv together, etc.)

 

My husband did some reading about co-sleeping at one point and it seemed that the vast majority of infant deaths due to co-sleeping occurred when the mother was impaired (drugs or alcohol). I don't have any cites for that, though.

 

My MIL was scandalized. She only knew about it because we visited once and told her we wouldn't need a crib as the baby would sleep with us. But she also had wanted me to wean my son at 8 weeks and give him cereal in a bottle, so we pretty much ignored her baby advice. :D

 

When I stopped nursing, she had no trouble going to her own bed as long as we had a few minutes of snuggle time at the start.

[melissel]

The three youngers all co-slept until they were over 3, all breastfed. With the boys, we took one side off the crib we had and pushed it against my side of the bed. The mattresses were the same height, and it gave us more room.

 

This is what we did, and it was heavenly. For me, it was better to sleep more lightly all night than to awaken repeatedly and get up to go get them. I am a mean, mean person when awakened from a deep sleep :blushing: So the crib sidecar was perfect. We co-slept with each baby for around 2 years.

 

DD9 woke every 3 hours until I night weaned her at around 14-16 months. She is still attached to my hip. DD6 slept through the night on her own and dropped nursing entirely by around 2 years old. It's amazing how much depends on their personalities!

[Mommyfaithe]

I voted that I moved the baby after first awakening, but it was really a mix. I did it a little differently for each child based on thier needs. My DD that was sleeping through the night at a few weeks of age co-slept from age 3 until age 5. My oldest DS co-slept exclusively for a few months, then was only occasionally in our bed. My personal favorite was when our last DS was still nursing through the night plus we had a pre-K-er that was insistent that our bed was the place for sleeping.

 

Me too....different kids....different needs. Most of them had a sidecar type crib next to my bed, that way we could co sleep, But also have our own space:D

My kids did mostly end up sleeping with us until about 2or3.

 

Faithe

[GSOchristie]

I put Option 1, but I only did that with my middle who is now 2.5 years old. My oldest and youngest slept in their own beds nearly from day 1, the first because I was scared, the last because I saw what a great sleeper #1 was and what a horrific sleeper #2 was :001_smile: Number two is still my worst sleeper who has yet to sleep through the night, so I don't know if it was the cosleeping or just the way he's designed :confused:

[Mrs. A]

I nurse and co-sleep for survival! It's the only way I was ever able to get some sleep for myself. :) I transitioned to their own bed around 5-6 months since they would only wake once or twice in the night by that point. I will definitely be doing it again this time around.

[Parrothead]

I co-slept with dd until I woke up one morning with my arm over her face. She wasn't more than two weeks old. So co-sleeping stopped until she was much older. She slept in her crib until she was 3.

[Lady Marmalade]

We did bottles for both kids, but I don't think how we fed has anything to do with our sleeping arrangements. Neither one of my kids liked to sleep alone. When our oldest was an infant, the only time she would get sound sleep (and WE would get sound sleep) was when I was holding her or snuggling her, or letting her lie on her tummy on my chest.

 

When she was about 4 months old I put her down for a nap in her crib on her tummy. She slept better than she's slept in her entire life, but I worried about that tummy sleeping for just a few days. Because after that, she never woke again in the middle of the night, and that was the end of her co-sleeping. She wanted to be a tummy sleeper. So she went from co-sleeper to tummy sleeper (both against doctor's wishes).

 

DS, on the other hand was our true co-sleeper. Smack dab in the middle of DH and I until he was 3 years old. Every time we'd attempt to put him in his own bed, he'd wake at some point and need Mama. He still comes running to our bed for bad dreams and thunderstorms and he's now 8 years old.

 

I loved co-sleeping, and would totally do it again if we ever decided to have more kids. It was the only way we could all get uninterrupted sleep.

[Donna]

I co-slept with all 3 of mine and breastfed. I put a bedrail on one side of the bed and my babies slept between me and the bedrail so my husband would not roll over on them.

 

I didn't start out planning that and used a bassinet but getting up and down all night led to too little sleep. When co-sleeping I could just roll over and nurse the baby and both of us slept much better.

[Amber in AUS]

Breastfed all 4. 3 went in their rooms and only coslept when sick or very unsettled so hardly ever. 1 slept in our room in his own bed for 2 years and again only coslept when sick or very unsettled which was occasionally.

[happypamama]

I've been cosleeping and breastfeeding for a decade straight; we've never done anything else. My DH wasn't sure about cosleeping at first, but he loves it (and loves that he doesn't have to get up to get a baby at night); when he's away (rarely), he complains that he can't sleep because the space is too empty.

 

Sometimes the preschooler still comes and sleeps at the foot of our bed. But they all outgrow it eventually. :)

 

ETA: It does take me a while to get readjusted to sleeping with a tiny baby, as well as nursing a newborn again (they suck hard compared to toddlers!), but after a bit, it's certainly the easiest way for us to sleep. My third baby, in particular, would sleep in a wrap on me most of the day, and then he'd nurse a ton at night while I slept. It was great!

 

I am so going to miss the years of having snuggly little nurslings!

Edited June 1, 2012 by happypamama

[TheReader]

I voted nursing/slept with all the time, but that's really only true for my youngest, and not the first couple of months when he still had his apnea monitor (he was premature). But once he came off the monitor, I stopped bothering with the crib. In the beginning, we took down one side of his crib, pushed it against my bed, and he had his own space there but w/in arm's reach for nighttime nursing.

 

With my oldest, it was nursing, slept w/us after the first waking.

 

With my 2nd, it was bottles, and probably the same, slept w/us after first waking. I don't actually remember; we had some craziness going on at the time in our extended family.

 

The only down-side I've ever seen in our experience is that the youngest, at 7, still winds up in my bed most nights. He starts in his room (one of us has to lie down with him while he falls asleep) but around 4-ish he wakes and gets in bed with me. We're working on it.....

[mommaduck]

Some of my babies would start out in their bed and then come to my bed after the first waking. Others were just always in my bed. One we had sidecarred.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I needed more options....

 

With dd: she slept in her crib. I may have fallen asleep with her in my bed for a few minutes while nursing those first few weeks, but I always did eventually get up and put her back in the crib. Also, we didn't nurse long as I never got milk.

 

With ds: he co-slept mostly (and didn't stop until WAY too late by most people's standards). I nursed, but mostly expressed and gave it to him in a bottle because I had a ton of drowning milk that just wouldn't stop and he had some oral motor issues. My whole house smelled of milk!

 

Baby I had from 3 weeks to 1yr ONLY co-slept (mama's milk in bottle).

 

Foster babies: crib, bottles.

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

Nursed all of mine till they weaned themselves (about 15 months each except dd who weaned herself at 9 months)and never slept with any of them. They all slept through the night by 6-8 weeks. My babies sleep better in their own room. They were all tummy sleepers also.

Edited June 1, 2012 by Down_the_Rabbit_Hole

[Lady Florida.]

I didn't set out to have my child sleep in my bed (they had a crib, bassinette of their own), but they usually wound up in my bed at some point in the night when I was too tired to stay up rocking them anymore. I nursed them both.

 

This is how/why we co-slept.

[melissad2]

I did not cosleep with the first one because I was afraid to. I coslept with the second after months of horrible sleep out of sheer exhaustion. Now I am happily cosleeping with the third because I cannot function without some sleep. He sleeps in the bassinet the first part I the night then beside me after the first waking.

[Laurie4b]

We slept with all 4 babies and I breastfed. They each slept in the crook of my arm, between me and the side of the bed, which had a bed rail.

 

I am strongly inclined to think that deaths due to co-sleeping are related to parental intake of alcohol or drugs. I think it's safest to have the baby next to the mother, not between mother and father. I think mothers are very tuned into their babies and I often roused when the baby roused even slightly. In fact the pediatric recommendations switched while I was a young mom. You weren't supposed to co-sleep with your baby with ds #1. We ended up doing it. By baby #2, the recommendation was that SIDS was reduced for co-sleepers because of the moms being so tuned in that the change in baby's breathing woke them up, they attended to the child ---perhaps not even realizing the baby was beginning to be in distress--and that was enough to reset the baby's breathing and has now changed back. That lasted through ds #4. When medical folks can't make up their minds, I say do what feels right to you.

 

The one thing I would have done differently is to be more careful about the blankets we used. While I am positive I would never have rolled on a baby, there was a time when I woke up and he was under the comforter. I may have awakened right after it happened. I do think that moms can be incredibly tuned in when they co-sleep. But still, I'd recommend something more like a baby blanket with holes for the top part of the bedding.

[amy g.]

I asked my midwife about it, because it seemed like the reccomendations changed between my older and younger children.

 

She said that doctors were told to advise against cosleeping for liability reasons, but that mothers who are not drunk or on drugs do not injure their children by sleeping with them.

[rwjx2khsmj]

I answered nursing...occassionally slept with.

 

I figured that averaged out the dc that I slept with all the time and those that started in their own beds but ended up sleeping with me and those that started sleeping with me but ended up in their own beds. We played musical beds all the time when the dc were younger.

[TheAutumnOak]

I nursed and my boys each slept with me until he started to eat some foods, which was between 6 and 7 months...Until they were 6 or 7 months, they nursed exclusively and on demand...Because I didn't pump milk, I was the only one who could feed them, so it was much easier to have them sleep with me...Once they started to eat and no longer needed the middle of the night feeding, I transitioned them to their cribs in another room, and continued to nurse and feed them during the day only...That way of doing things does not work for everyone, and though I have many regrets about different things during my walk as a mom, nursing on demand, co-sleeping and then transitioning them to their own beds at the times I did is definitely not one of them...

[Princess Peach]

With my youngest I would bring him into bed with me after he awoke the first time. That way I could nurse him and fall back asleep so I wouldn't be zombie mommy the next day. I'm quite sure it saved my sanity.

 

I am thin, didn't drink, had none of the other "risk factors" you read about. My DH would sleep on a mattress on the floor because he was worried about the baby. He's a super heavy sleeper. This was only until my baby slept thru the night (probably the first 6 months, I can't really remember).

[Scuff]

I nursed my babies in bed then moved them back to their beds. Sometimes I fell asleep, sometimes I didn't. I always mad sure I placed them safely and I'm a light sleeper. So, other? We occasionally co-slept, but not on purpose. (but planned accidently?)