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BakersDozen

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Everything posted by BakersDozen

  1. On 8/22 I didn't think I would make it. I could not breathe. I could not think. I could not stop crying. One of the dearest people I have ever known (dd18) left for school across the country - this is a girl I miss like crazy if she's gone for a weekend! It was beyond hard. It's way more fun bringing babies home than watching them "fly" from the nest.
  2. To this day I cannot stand the sight of stainless steel mixing bowls - the nesting ones with the handles on the side. Those are what my mom used.
  3. Thanks, ladies! I'm passing any input to my traveling bunch.
  4. Kids/dh are heading for Amarillo, TX (they were in Grants, NM about an hour ago). I just got a message asking for the best route from Indianapolis to Boston. Any traveling people here who can give input? My sphere of travel is about 4 miles in diameter - to stores and home. So I'm no help to them.
  5. I had no intention of going the AP route yet ended up with dd taking 8 exams (I facilitated the courses save for Stats). Dd chose AP after taking a few CLEP exams and not feeling satisfied with the rigor/content, so she went through the same classes again (much faster) and took AP exams. Once she realized how much she enjoyed the work load/content at the AP level she decided for herself which courses she wanted to tackle. For that particular dc it was the right course of action as her plans post-high school were achieved in great part by her academic record. Even had she not gotten into the school she wanted, she had no regrets with AP level work save for that there were more classes she wanted to take but not enough time. For dd, the APs were done from sheer love of learning and wanting the higher challenge. She didn't set a number or have any goal save for jumping full force into each class and doing her best. I personally love the AP rigor and challenge now (I balked at first when dd asked if she could take her first class/exam).
  6. I've tried something like that but my dh does not have a positive thought in his brain. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I can share something good that the dc did or anything positive and he will, without even hesitating, say something negative. He even did it to college-bound dd last night and she just sat there, silent. If anyone tries to point this out to him (again) he gets angry. He has had everyone from friends and family to co-workers and a professional counselor talk to him about this but nothing changes. And I'm done. Especially when it involves the safety/health of our dc. Heck, if it was up to him the gas company would not have been called, we would have gone to bed the night we brought dc #12 home, and God knows what would have happened with the leak. I'm just done.
  7. I need to vent about something real quick. Last night I was up until about 1am AZ time following updated news/weather reports. I went on the airline site and saw the notification that flights might be delayed/canceled. Dh was doing work on his laptop while I was trying to do anything I could think of to get our girl to Boston. When I interrupted him he got really angry and insisted that it would be nothing more than a storm surge. My repeated attempts to show him the weather pattern and the resulting effect on the eastern side, flooding, even tornado possibility were dismissed. I told him that we might want to reschedule now while there may be flights still available on Wednesday but no, I was being dramatic and ridiculous, I didn't know anything, flights won't be cancelled, etc. He will not admit I was right. This morning every single excuse for his being wrong and he will.not.admit.I.was.right. 25 years of this. 25 years of him needing to be right and smart which means I have to be wrong and dumb. From weather to health to a gas leak he insisted was not there (it was). Front yard wasn't landscaped properly but oh no, it's fine, nothing will happen. 4 years later our house still has not been fixed from the flood that resulted. Nothing wrong with the van...how could I possibly know what I'm talking about. Van breaks down 2 days later. We won't need to put the fridge on home warranty. Fridge dies a month later. This countertop will just come right off...totally busted and contractor looks right at me and says, "You were right." We don't need to save up that much money for van repairs. 2K worth of work needed over the next few weeks. The bike barn he constructed is just fine - sturdy as can be. Total collapse 4 days later, thankfully none of our kids was underneath that monstrosity. Every.single.d*mn.time. 25 years of being told I am wrong, ignorant, foolish only to find that my instinct/thought was right. I'm not a stupid woman but my dh needs me to be so he can feel smarter. 25 years of excuses for why he was wrong and it's never because he was actually wrong. There's always some ridiculous reason provided.
  8. Nope, road trip. One-way rental from AZ. Dh throwing stuff into a suitcase, total change of plans. 3 days of almost non-stop driving ahead of them.
  9. Flight canceled. Nothing available until Th.
  10. 3 of my dc were supposed to fly to Boston today but their flight was canceled. Now I'm a bit worried as they are to fly out tomorrow but from what I'm seeing on-line, things are supposed to get really bad on Sunday and even into M/T. I'm afraid they will get stuck in an airport somewhere and don't know if I should admonish them to try and change their flight now or take their chances. 3 kids, a LOT of luggage, and a Thursday check-in date for dd18. WWYD?
  11. Maybe we live in the same state? I saw this on the news and was appalled. The reasoning behind it makes me shake my head. And it's a lot of money being offered - like dangling a large financial carrot in front of families yet the carrot isn't at all healthy.
  12. The boots and me not giving in to my mom's demand to return the boots so she could purchase them. Oh, and telling her that she is selfish. And not playing the game of "Hi, this is Ann." Or it's about us drawing and maintaining the boundary of decent, acceptable behavior which is not something my mom wants anyone doing as far as she is concerned. Which makes me want to cry because what she is giving up...no, throwing away...is not worth this anger and need to hurt others because she is upset.
  13. Dd25 was coming into town with her new baby on Wednesday and asked my mom to come over to our house (2 streets down) and join the family for an evening of laughter and fun. My mom said no. Dd also asked if she could stop by yesterday and just say 'hi' briefly but my mom, who left for a trip this morning takes 3-4 days to pack for a trip, said no. Dd18 invited my mom to come over this last week and visit since my mom won't be here when dd leaves for college. My mom said no. She has somehow gathered lady friends from whatever church she is now attending (I was sore tempted to leave notes on their windshields last week warning them to hold on to their checkbooks, retirement funds, furniture, etc.) so she has her circle of those who will dote on my mom, tsk tsk over her lot in life, etc. She's gone for another month. Thank goodness.
  14. If she was just 6 weeks that would be one thing but at 9 weeks an u/s is very definitive. Is she having her hcg levels monitored? I would choose that - to see if the levels are going down and I might m/c on my own. It absolutely sucks to have pregnancy symptoms (especially nausea) but not a viable pregnancy. As far as the situation seeming "right", it's pretty common. A lot of women go into their first OB appointment at 12-13 weeks only to find that the pregnancy stopped being viable weeks prior despite ongoing symptoms. It's a pretty horrid, cruel thing.
  15. This is what had me confused - she's been using our tax information but says there was another "dependent" form she's filled out as well. I've asked her to show it to me. She has an appt. Monday with a financial aid advisor.
  16. Dd has filled out a "dependent" form each year (I have not seen it) for the FAFSA which I guess shows that she is not considered a dependent in regard to us, provides 100% of her own funds/needs, etc. Again, I've not seen this form yet there has been no issue until now. I sent her the definition of "independent" which I think is so frustrating that her situation is not included in that definition. It's been a long time since I read the definition of independent for the FAFSA (she is not married, does not have dc, etc.) but she is most definitely not a dependent IRL, either. Thanks for the insights/help - I shared the information with her.
  17. I just got a frantic call from dd23 who has been on her own at college for the last 3 years. She is not considered a dependent and so far her FAFSA has had an EFC of zero. Dd18 is headed to college this fall and when dd23 updated her FAFSA to indicate that 2 members of our family will be in college, her EFC went up to 2K, her Pell Grant went down by 2K. She says getting hold of anyone in the financial aid department is impossible and she's in a tizzy. Any advice/thoughts?? I've not been involved with dd22 since getting her started back when she was 18 with FAFSA, PG and all that.
  18. Ours has classes by semesters/years and grade level. I use the template on the Covenant College site.
  19. Oh gosh, me too! Have done, am doing, and will continue doing. That's what I did last night - it was quite the party, too. After she went to bed, of course, and I could just let it all out. Then on with stuff...until the next pity party. I think I am the closest with this dd which is making it so much harder to see her go. Yes.
  20. Bear with me...I need to "cry" a bit. Every year I have set up/printed out our schedule (which is mostly used/followed, lol) the night before we begin the fall semester. Many, many years ago I had just 2-3 kids on the school schedule...then 4...5...6...7...there was hardly a year that went by without a kiddo being added to the school routine. Since January 2018 I've had the same kids on the schedule as my first 4 were graduated. So these 8 have been my whole "school" - names were the same each fall, just the subjects changed. My "peas in a pod" dds (now 14,16,18) have spent the last 3.5 years doing most of their classes together or at least in the same room/vicinity. They have participated in extracurricular activities and competed as a team together. They have traveled across the country and spent hours and hours being best friends in a way that amazes me (I never had this with my siblings). It was a joy to see them just being silly even when they were supposed to be studious (I never interrupted those times fwiw). Tonight I'm supposed to edit the old schedule and print out the new one...and I can't do it. I look at 18yod's name and I can't take it off the schedule. I blinked and my girl is graduated and off to college. This is ridiculous because I've had 4 head out on their own so I should be OK with this. But I'm not. The first 4 were tough cookies - tons of attitude and just overall unpleasant (mostly) stuff. It was not a fun time and while it was hard to see them leave, it was also not exactly unwelcome, either. But these last few years with our dc have been unbelievable. Dd18 is one of those truly decent, kind human beings. She is a delight and I cannot think about her not being here with us. I feel incredibly fortunate in that she could have graduated last May yet chose to add more to her high school career so we had that extra time with her. But oh my goodness, here it is - she leaves in 3 weeks and I have to create a schedule with her name not on it. My brain cannot comprehend this. I even called her to come sit down with 14 and 16yodds so we could go over their science and she had to remind me that she wasn't doing science at home this year. Good grief. I feel incredibly foolish for blubbering like this - so many serious issues to actually cry over. But I am blubbering and am not wanting to change that schedule. It wasn't enough time... That's all. --------------- Update: Thanks to the hurricane in the NE, our girl's flight this morning was canceled so we got a extra day with her! This was particularly welcome as my mil/sil were here last night (sigh) and I was not entirely thrilled with how their presence divided the family time we normally have. But they were w/my dd all day (dd agreed to "keep them very busy") so today was just fantastic! I went to run last minute errands w/college-bound dd, she spent oodles of time w/siblings, and right now she, 2 of her sisters and 2 friends are playing cards and laughing themselves silly at almost 10:30pm. If weather cancels her flight tomorrow, I won't cry since check-in isn't until Thursday. But if not at least we got a lovely bonus day with her much to all of our relief, including, I think, hers.
  21. Dd18 (about to head to college) has no problem saying 'no' to her. Dd 25 is a people pleaser and won't tell my mom no. Although my mom's behavior is getting worse and dd says she is getting tired of the "abuse and demands/expectations." But she'll most likely have her dh handle it which will not be pretty.
  22. Quick update: I have not heard from my mom at all. She is now contacting my oldest still at home and asking for favors/help - things for which my mom would previously have called/sent a message to me. Thankfully, dd is very busy and unable to go over to my mom's. Friday night my mom asked dd to come put the sheets on my mom's bed (dd and I make beds like my mom prefers). Dd responded that she was not available but my mom should call the house and see who could come help. My mom did not, of course, call, rather waited until my oldest dd (married) was there the next day and asked her to help. How long can this continue??
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