Well, I'm a burnt out homeschool mom of 2 that has homeschooled from the beginning, graduated one last year, and has tried several times to throw in the towel with my second (including recently).
1. Why am I burnt out? I did lose myself. I was doing everything for the family AND homeschooling. That worked in elementary school but not in high school. Someone on this thread said they hated high school and I whole heartedly agree. It's not fun. It's in the trenches dirty work, and feels like bare knuckled boxing every. single.day. Between the teenage drama, the testing, the "requirements," and the admin work, I barely made it through the first one, and have twice begged my second daughter to go to school. Life is hard enough without adding homeschooling and being EVERYTHING to and for a child school-wise. There's a reason High School teachers have specialties and teach the same subject all day, and I think that's why a lot of us burn out in high school. I AM NOT a math teacher and contrary to what I was promised, I did not understand Algebra any better the second time around, nor should I have been teaching it. it was a nightmare. Life also contributed to the burn out. We went through a major cross country move right before my oldest started high school, and the last 5 years have been beyond rough, so burn out was inevitable. I can't go into detail publicly, but we all have our major life events and issues, and it absolutely affects how you homeschool, and what you accomplish.
2. How have I been coping? Prayer, reconnecting and getting real with my girlfriends, and an all in one, online curriculum. My youngest has been doing Abeka Academy for the last 2.5 years and it has been a God-send for us as a family. It was distasteful to me at first and flew in the face of everything I believed as a homeschooler. I was anti-textbook and really really wanted to hold on to the Charlotte Mason, love of learning, sitting cozy on the couch and reading books curriculum that we loved. But, I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't do everything I needed to do as a wife, mother and adult AND be the teacher, so this is what we did.
3. How did I "Find myself" again? I got a really good counselor, and I stopped listening to what others said I SHOULD be doing, and started doing what I want to do. I got a part time job to help with income because I was tired of struggling and I was honestly starting to get bored. I started taking private yoga lessons because I have chronic pain and had not worked out in 2 years because of it. My husband and I go away every year for our anniversary and it's HEAVENLY (the advantages of having teenagers, but we have also paid people to stay with them). I also started handing off some of what I was doing to my husband. There was a time when he couldn't help me. He worked two jobs so we could homeschool and survive, and it has been a hard road. However, we both made the mistake of not seeing that life was changing and with that change, he could lift the burden off of me. He grades all the Spanish, Science and Math. I grade all the History, English, Electives and I am the Admin and scheduler of our school. It has made life so much better both for us as a married couple and us as a family. And back to the girlfriends, I started being honest with my friends and telling them I was burnt out. I told them what was REALLY going on in my life, and that it was far different from what they were seeing on social media, and you know what? They started confiding in me, and we are all realizing, we all need each other. It's nice to have friends who don't judge again.
4. What will I do to finish out the next two years? I haven't decided yet. I've been looking at The Well Trained Mind Academy, which is how I ended up here for the first time in almost 5 years. I've also been looking at Aim Academy (Debra Bell), which my older daughter used for AP English. I have realized once my girls get to 11th grade, they are beyond my capabilities as a teacher. I love history and English, and CAN teach it, but, again, it takes me away from other areas I'm needed so it's either A Beka or something else online. The only reason I'm thinking of leaving A Beka is I still have to do all the grading and the facilitating, and I'd like to find her something where she gets feedback from other teachers. I see it as a good way to prep for college. It worked well for my oldest, who is now a college freshman (in spite of my failings 😉 ), and I think it's the right thing to do.
So there you have it! A mom who has homeschooled from the beginning, been burnt out MANY MANY MANY times, and still/will persevere through to the end. I did love it. I know I was a part of something special, and I will miss it terribly (elementary school, NOT High School, I will never miss High School. 😄 ). But honestly, don't beat yourself up if you decide to put your kiddos in a brick and mortar school. We are all just trying to do the best for each of our kids, and our families, and sometimes, that means changing course. It will all work out in the end. ❤️