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About bethben

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  1. I feel about ready to have a nervous breakdown. More stable teachers are planning to leave at the end of the year. It’s a mass exodus.
  2. Nah- we told her she had to eat dinner before she was allowed to do anything else. That was it. She fought us for a while on that, argued about why won't we let her eat when she should be sleeping (because this child very much needs to sleep a lot), and just overall argued about how she hates rules. Then we let her be and she ate dinner eventually also figuring out that she was pretty hungry. Food vastly improved her mood.
  3. Not that I can find. I did put her on a waitlist for an alternative school, but yes—it’s where the delinquents go. I’m putting her on all sorts of waitlists. My problem is—I can’t figure out if it’s just the chaos of this school and just needs an organized/good teacher situation or if she needs other school alternatives.
  4. She has a counselor who has tried to help her with calming techniques. I am making another appointment with her to try and figure out what is really going on and what needs to change. It’s gotten really complex. I’m not opposed to medication but the last round we tried put her in a really really horrible place. I have a person who will run genetics and match medication if needed. She wasn’t this bad last year. She had some issues, but not this level of anger. She can get really angry at us at times when we discipline her (Sunday was that she needed to eat dinner because she gets crabby if she doesn’t) , but we give her space to cool down and usually she does what is expected and we get an apology. Then she becomes happy kid again. I just think she has had such chaos and never has a chance to cool down. We just found out she is getting her fifth math teacher soon.
  5. I totally agree but am unsure what to do. We have all the social engineering nonsense in the public schools here. My daughter has HUGE problems with that type of thing and will fight for her convictions. Not fight in kindness - fight in angry words and disrespect (we nor our church are not like this at all and honestly don't know where she got such venom). She also needs the kind of supervision a smaller school could give. She has been kicking and punching kids on the sly already. I thought that giving her a 504 plan (the IEPs little sister) could help and I could put some things in there that could help her calm down but now I find out that unless you have a medical reason for the 504 plan, the school ignores them to the point that parents have given up trying to get the school to comply. So, I keep thinking homeschooling is the only path out of this mess. I can't do it. 😓
  6. Part of the reason I did like this school was that they were keeping grade size to about 50 kids. So, two classes per grade. My 9th grade ds has mild autism so having less people to stress him out has been good. My 6th grade dd also could use a smaller grade size just so that I can keep a handle on who she is having conflicts with. When she went to the charter school two blocks from our home, there were too many kids to keep up with. She had weekly new kids that she was having issues with. At least this way, I can see who she's consistently having issues with and keep their contact to a minimum. We live in a busting at the seams area. Most school are overcrowded as the district is desperately trying to keep up with the housing boom here. The school we are zoned for is known for bullying and a lot of kids fighting each other. My daughter would get caught up in that easily because she demands justice for people. She's just as likely to beat up someone for hurting/ insulting another kid as she would for herself. She got into a small fight last year because of a kid hurting his brother before school (I keep telling her to get a teacher to take care of these situation, but she's all emotion when she encounters these things and doesn't think). So, a smaller school means to me that the teachers have a handle on what kids are doing better. There are few places to hide. But, at the same time, the constant teacher turnover has been hard for her also. It seems to be lose/lose. I guess I don't feel like I have options. It's either this school or homeschooling. Maybe I just need someone who's done it even when they didn't want to and it didn't affect them negatively.
  7. So, background. I homeschooled for 13 years. I put my daughter in school when she was in 3rd grade because every time i sat down to teach her, I was shaking from stress. My ds went to school last year because homeschooling and taking care of my disabled adult son were too much. I put dd and ds into a very promising new charter school last year and the first year was great even though they were in a temporary facility with many classrooms not even having walls. I thought I would never like public education and was happy to find a place where I had few complaints. They built a new school building, the principle changed and then changed again. 1/4 - 1/3 of the the teachers have left (k-9th) mid year. My 9th grader lost almost a year of history as they lost a teacher who was awesome, replaced him with a long term sub, and now a permanent teacher who last week emailed as to how he is now just starting to expect the standard outlined in the school charter statement. My dd's teacher quit last week after a pretty chaotic classroom situation he never did get under control. Her math teacher has changed four times. My daughter has some mental health issues from adoption trauma. She needs stability in a classroom and a teacher who is in control. Without it, I am genuinely concerned she will get expelled for basically taking things into her own hands and beating up someone. She punch a kid during class already this year. Dh and I are talking to the principle next week, but are unsure if we can get consistency from this school now. This is my dd's second school since the original one has a lot of people bailing on it also for not really educating children. My question -- I soooo do not want to homeschool. I wrecked my health- emotionally and physically doing so and am just now getting it back somewhat. Anyone else find a happy situation when public school is so failing you but you don't want to homeschool?
  8. I have been researching and learning about iodine a lot lately. Kelp is not a good source of iodine because our oceans are toxic and therefore, kelp absorbing from the oceans is toxic. If you do want to start taking iodine again, look here: It also talks about vitamins that should be taken along with iodine in order to counteract the side effects of detox. I have also learned that the only supplement you want to test for is selenium. That level could go to high easily and they suggest testing your levels before starting that one. Supplementing with iodine will also make your TSH go high temporarily. My example is a bottle of lotion that has that crust on the top. You squeeze the bottle and initially, a ton of lotion comes out all at once. When there is an increase of iodine, the TSH pathways increase to get the thyroid to suck as much iodine as it can. Once it normalizes and realizes there's a consistent path, it calms down. This site also has a lot of suggestions as to what your levels should be: Overall, this book is good: and this one:
  9. I do believe this is what he longs for and desires. When he was homeschooled, I did put him in a lot of online classes as he got older. While he learned quite a bit from them, he wasn't enthused about it. I did wind up just putting him full time in the community college down the road his junior year because he really needed people and nothing that I could find around us was up to his educational level ( I did find some communities after the fact). Two of our pastors did go to a christian college that I think would give him the mix of solid Biblical teaching and missions that I think he desires, but at $40K per year (not including the missions trips these students constantly seem to be going on), it's just not going to happen. DH and I like many people on these forums were a one income family who struggled to just cover month to month bills much less save thousands for college. YWAM has been really good for him, but he needs to raise money and can't work while he attends YWAM like he could with a college. He's my kid that has a brain like a philosopher. I wish I could encourage that brain with people smarter than him who would challenge him. My #3 kid will most likely go into engineering or computer science. To me, that's a lot easier to figure out. The local university down the street can fulfill his desires easily at an affordable cost (less than 1/4 the cost of a private college). It's just harsh when your kid wants to pursue a Christian degree of sorts and it's soooo far out of reach.
  10. Where do you live?!!? My son actually got an AA before he graduated high school. I was also looking at Christian schools because at least at some of them, he can get a really decent Biblical/philosophical education. They just are all so expensive. We will not take out a parent plus loan. We really have to plan well for my disabled son and getting into debt like that is not an option.
  11. My mom lives minutes from a train that goes to downtown Chicago. She had my cousin and her husband live with her for a few years when my cousin's husband went there. It is a real possibility. I wish colleges wouldn't assume the parent can help the college costs. It's not like we're buying new cars every year and going on expensive vacations (ever really). We live pretty modest. My son will be responsible for the majority of his college costs.
  12. My son right now is on a missionary adventure - 6 months with YWAM. He has expressed a desire to teach/preach. I've looked into just a few theological colleges or colleges that will give him the ability to get more grounded in the Bible/ theology/ worldview. THE EXPENSE!!!! Just the few I looked into were around $40-$50 K per year!!!! Dh and I are at a point where there is no way we could even pay for 1/4 of that expense and we really don't want him going into huge amounts of college debt in order to take a very low paying job. We don't qualify for financial aid from what I looked into because we are at the awkward middle ground - not rich enough to be able to pay for it but too rich to get aid. Our focus is long term care for his very disabled brother. Is this a dream that he will have to give up? This honestly saddens me.
  13. Does anyone who is taking Gabapentin know what at the long term side effects are? It really helps my Restless Leg thing and sleep. I have been taking 600mg once a day. I am concerned about long term side effects. I have tried everything else including magnesium and iron. As a last resort to find out "why" I was having RLS and iron issues, I did a 23andme test. Did you know there are genes associated with RLS? There is one that not only causes low iron absorption (I have trouble actually using the iron in my body), but RLS also. I'm not a person who was looking for mutated genes to explain things, but when I saw that one, everything made sense.
  14. I joined Crossfit at 47 years old. The program I did was about 30 minutes 3-4 time a week. I was able to gain some decent muscle so it is possible at "upper forties". I did it for about a year and got hurt because I am slightly competitive and wanted to see if I could outperform Miss 20 something year old. The "I'm old enough to be your mother" competition (I didn't win). Then I got hurt again and didn't want to compromise my ability to take care of my special needs son. What I didn't know is that things like Crossfit tend to tax your adrenals in a big way so unless you're really being careful addressing that loss, most "older" people should avoid it. Right now, I got a Peloton app and they have weight exercises, yoga, and walking sessions for any amount of time or level you want. It's pretty versatile.
  15. Thanks all for your insights! I may wind up buying a pair of progressives from Costco and seeing what happens. I think I can get lenses and frames for what frames would cost me at my regular eye place. The lenses themselves would cost more than a whole new pair for that matter. I need a new pair of glasses anyway for my prescription. I can even get a blue blocking feature for them which would be helpful for me at night. When my eye exam comes due, I may try some different contacts though since I do like contact lenses overall. Honestly, I've thought about the one eye for distance, one eye for reading thing and it just seems weird to me. I may give it a try though. Thanks!
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