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Mergath

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Mergath last won the day on March 5 2018

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About Mergath

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    Beekeeping Professor

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  1. The person might have been lost and they were texting the person whose house they were looking for.
  2. Addicts come from all socioeconomic groups. You can't assume that because it wasn't an old beater. With that said, it sounds like they could have just been trying to find a house. We have to do something similar every year for Girl Scouts because they seem to keep the cookies at a different house so often. I even joked to our troop leader about how people probably think we're looking for drugs when really we're just trying to pick up our order of Thin Mints. 😂
  3. Mergath

    Hate

    I think it's completely right and appropriate and in no way even a tiny bit wrong to hate someone who has abused you. I think where it becomes harmful is if instead of acknowledging the feeling and working toward letting it go, you hold onto it. The latter isn't wrong, either. I've held onto negative emotions for a long time, and I don't think I was in any way morally wrong for doing so. But, at the same time, it also wasn't good for me and my mental health. ETA: Also, letting the feeling go doesn't mean you don't think the abuser did anything wrong, or that you forgive them. It only means a person has decided to try not to feel it anymore.
  4. Mergath

    Hate

    I try not to hate, but I'm not very good at it. I think the Buddhist quote about anger, how it's like holding onto hot coals and expecting the other person to get burned, applies to hate, as well. But like I said, I'm not very good at it and the list of people I hate is probably very long. Hate is kind of ambiguous, too. What I think of as "hate" might be another person's "intense dislike."
  5. I'm glad to hear you guys are working with a great mental health facility. Like someone else mentioned, don't be afraid of getting a second opinion if you still aren't finding answers. I don't have a rebellious teen, but I was one to some extent, though my dad's mental health issues made mine look like nothing. For me, it was extreme anxiety that went undiagnosed. When you are constantly in fight-or-flight mode, a lot of the time you end up choosing to fight because you reach a point where you can no longer function around other people. I barely slept because of the anxiety as well, which only added to my issues. And even though I was seeing a therapist weekly to help me deal with my dad being whatever the heck he was, no one ever figured out I had obsessive-compulsive disorder. So even professionals can miss stuff.
  6. If sin and pot turned teenagers into violent sociopaths, we never would have survived the nineties. Tough love is going to do exactly jack shit if this boy has a mental illness or personality disorder. In all probability he needs inpatient treatment, meds, and specialized therapy.
  7. Thirty teenage boys? I'm gonna go with all of them. You will need all the buns. 😂
  8. Please, please do not encourage him to try to enlist. Basic training is psychologically difficult for a stable person, never mind someone with the symptoms your DS is exhibiting. The military can teach a lazy person how to have more self-discipline, but it CANNOT cure or treat mental illness. I don't know why so many people think it can do that. When I was in basic training, one of the guys I was training with snapped and attacked a drill sergeant. Thank god it happened in the first phase and not when we were doing rifle training. During AIT they had a special mattress near the main stairwell where they could keep an eye on the soldiers who were suicidal. There was at least one every day. Your son needs to work with mental health professionals. Drill sergeants are not mental health professionals. ETA: I should clarify that I'm bringing up the mattress thing not to tell you that they have a lot of experience dealing with mental illness, but to say LOOK HOW WELL THEY DON'T HANDLE IT. Suicidal? Spend the night on the special suicide mattress where a couple of exhausted teenagers on fire watch can make sure you don't kill yourself when they aren't mopping. It's horrifying.
  9. If that's all you'll be using it for, you aren't going to need much beyond the most basic laptop. A Chromebook would be fine if you don't need to store a large amount of content on the actual machine, but I agree that you should go with at least a 15" screen so the online classes are easy to see. I definitely wouldn't buy anything with less than 12gb RAM, but 16gb would be better because you don't want it to become obsolete too soon. If you're hauling it around a lot in a backpack or whatever a SSD might be a good investment because they're more reliable and don't have all the moving parts of a HDD, but they're also quite a bit more expensive.
  10. So he spent a year in bed after getting expelled from school, and multiple therapists told you he isn't depressed because he has high self-esteem??? You need to get new therapists, ASAP. A person's level of self-esteem has nothing to do with being depressed. I don't mean this in a snarky way, but were these religious counselors who have only had training through a religious program? If so you need to find an actual psychiatrist. And in the meantime, I'd try to get him admitted to an in-patient treatment program if at all humanly possible.
  11. There's a freaking galaxy of difference between teaching your own preschoolers at home and teaching an actual preschool class in a school. I homeschool my kids, no problem. I couldn't even begin to teach my toddler's ECFE class because holy migraine, Batman. You honestly think it's no big deal for qualified preschool teachers with degrees to make minimum wage???
  12. Actually, people disagreed because someone commented that housekeepers are uneducated and as such don't deserve to be paid a living wage. People were disagreeing with the idea that you don't have to pay a housekeeper much, not that housekeepers don't have an A.S. in cleaning or whatever.
  13. Where I live (a rural, fairly low COL area) the fields that pay around that much without requiring some kind of terminal degree are mechatronics, some IT jobs, and working as an OTR truck driver. Of course, how much experience you have plays a large part, too. There aren't too many jobs that start at 80k a year. He could try real estate, but that's more of a crapshoot as to income and it would probably take several years of long hours to work his way up to that kind of income. Is he willing to go back to school?
  14. I only have a second so I don't have time at the moment to read them myself, but did the meta-analyses you linked all exclude any studies that didn't control for socioeconomic factors? Because in everything I've read, that seems to be the deciding factor in all the supposed overwhelming benefits of breastmilk. Whenever you control for income and education, the benefits either mostly or completely disappear. Except asthma. That seems to be the one thing bfing does actually help prevent, from what I've read. So if I had a family history of asthma, that would definitely make me want to try hard to breastfeed. And we were discussing the *possible* toxicity of breastmilk. Which is certainly a possibility in some situations, and something I would take into account if I was thinking about breastfeeding but I had spent the last few years renovating a historic house or something along those lines that would have caused a high amount of lead exposure. Just like you wouldn't buy formula that tests high for arsenic or mercury, you also wouldn't want to breastfeed if you do lead remediation for a living, or if you eat three cans of tuna fish a day. Breastmilk isn't always the best option no matter the circumstances.
  15. I don't know about mercury, but you can get a lead test at the doctor's office. Also, if your kids had any lead exposure through breastmilk you would probably know because they routinely test for lead around a year old. I'm sure most women don't have high enough levels of heavy metals to cause symptoms in a baby via breastmilk. My point was just that nothing is 100% free from potential risk.
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