Did your infant sleep with you?

[Matryoshka]

My twins didn't co-sleep at first; they were preemies and came home with tons of monitors. I don't remember exactly, but I'm guessing they started sleeping with us around the time they finally figured out the breastfeeding thing (around 3 mos?). And then I figured I could sleep and nurse at the same time. Woo hoo!

 

Younger dd slept with us from the start.

 

I did say "moved to bed after first awakening". They always got put down in their own beds, then the first time they woke up they'd move in with us.

[ThreeBlessings]

Nursed and coslept with all three kids. As long as there are no situational risks (drug/alcohol use, unsafe bed set up, etc) I think cosleeping is safe for babies. I was always very aware of every movement/noise with my infants. I did keep a bassinet beside my bed for the first months each time. If I felt way overtired I would put them in the bassinet. :)

 

I don't think it is correct to say cosleeping is dangerous. I can't agree at all. I think all infants can be at risk whether cosleeping or crib sleeping if common sense and safety precautions aren't used. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people put infants to sleep in cribs with thick pillows, toys, and blankets. Honestly it makes me shudder inside. :) I've also heard several stories of people cosleeping while on meds or drugs when they really, really shouldn't.

 

My babies did sleep by only me though, as my dh is a ridiculously heavy sleeper who also likes to have a drink in the evening a lot of the time. I wouldn't have thought it safe for them to sleep by him as he wouldn't have been aware of them at all.

[Walking-Iris]

It is sad, of course. However, it gets me to thinking about something I read about co-sleeping once upon a time (something by Dr. Sears, maybe?) that discussed how it was a lopsided viewpoint to look at deaths caused by co-sleeping while discounting the number of children whose lives may have been potentially saved by co-sleeping. Mother-baby responsiveness, breathing patterns/movements, etc. can provide safety benefits that a crib cannot.

 

:iagree: It's sad when any baby dies for any reason whatever. But seriously the deaths attributed to cosleeping are never because of true cosleeping. There is almost always other reasons---drugs, alcohol, heavy medications, and yes formula feeding ...as far as roll overs.... Not going to happen in your typical researched, conscious, safety minded cosleeping situation. The numbers to blame cosleeping (and cosleeping is not randomly bringing a baby in your bed when it's sick or when you're tired or whenever) on any babies death are just not there but the numbers of babies dying in cribs are always high every year.

 

Shall we prosecute parents who have had babies die in cribs for negligence? We recall faulty cribs that strangle infants but nary a word against the parents who put them in them to begin with. Because putting infants to sleep in separate rooms is considered negligence in several asian countries. Shall all African and Mongolian parents be prosecuted for cosleeping? Indian mothers? Aborigine mothers? Should we start persecuting people who sleep on the floor? In hammocks? In tents? Who's business is it where a parent chooses to sleep an infant? Shall we prosecute parents who leave babies asleep in car seats--babies have died from that. SIDS has many reasons and several of them are biological---regardless of where a baby is sleeping. But seriously all it takes to keep a baby safe is some common sense half the time.

Edited June 1, 2012 by Walking-Iris

[staceyobu]

No cosleeping here, with the exception of the times when a toddler climbed into bed with us for a little while during the night. Cosleeping with a toddler is downright uncomfortable! :tongue_smilie: And cosleeping with an infant much too dangerous. We have friends whose baby died as a result of being smothered when one of the parents rolled over on her in their sleep. It was such a terrble, sad situation, one that you never think will happen to you.

 

Just out of curiosity, are they sure that is what happened? Did the mom wake up on top of the baby? Or did they determine later the baby died from lack of oxygen?

 

I'm wondering because some say cosleeping deaths are attributed to rolling on top of a baby when they are actually sids deaths.

[NCBlueberry]

I never slept with either of mine, I just kept a bassinet/pack & play right next to my bed so I didn't have to go far to get them.

[PeacefulChaos]

Not a chance. If people want to, whatever. But I love my peaceful, uninterrupted, sleep far too much. :D I don't even like to be able to tell that DH is in the bed with me! :lol:

[Element]

Ds spent the first few wks of his life in the NICU so once he came home, he wanted nothing to do with co-sleeping. He hated it. Dd was only in the hospital for 8 days so she adjusted easily to co-sleeping. Both were bottle-fed breast milk (I pumped... and pumped... and pumped. They never did latch.)

 

When we co-slept with dd, we had her in the middle of our large bed (we were both relatively small people,) and we had no sheets or blankets on the bed. Well, I guess I had one at the very foot of the bed to stick my feet under but that was it. We never drank alcohol or took prescriptions that would affect our alertness. Dd co-slept with us off and on until she was 3 or 4 years old. (We did eventually put blankets back on the bed when she was a few months old.)

[VeganCupcake]

Not a chance. If people want to, whatever. But I love my peaceful, uninterrupted, sleep far too much. :D I don't even like to be able to tell that DH is in the bed with me! :lol:

 

What kind of a baby did you have who allowed you peaceful, uninterrupted sleep, no matter where s/he was sleeping? :tongue_smilie:

 

We coslept with DD right from the beginning, but DS never has seemed to like sleeping with someone else, unless he's sick. It's kind of strange.

[edelweiss]

Not a chance. If people want to, whatever. But I love my peaceful, uninterrupted, sleep far too much. :D I don't even like to be able to tell that DH is in the bed with me! :lol:

 

That's how I feel. I don't care what others do, but I value my sleep way too much to sleep with a baby! Thank goodness both my babies slept through the night so young.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

My first I nursed and then he slept on fil's chest in the recliner chair (we lived with my in-laws at the time and he was a sanity-saver!) when he woke up at night.

 

My second I couldn't nurse but I spent the first two months or so sleeping next to him on the couch (he only slept with Pride and Prejudice (Colin Firth version) on.)

[PeacefulChaos]

My 3 slept through the night at 7, 8, and 9 weeks, respectively (which still felt like forever! Even though Pinkalicious didn't come home til she was 4 1/2 weeks old). So I guess I did have to get up with them a couple times a night until then.

I was kind of the opposite of everyone on here. ;) Super scheduled, babies ate every 3 hours, usually went longer during the night. But it worked for us and them, and aligned with when they were hungry.

And we're all serious sleepers. ;)

But yeah, the uninterrupted part didn't come til after those first couple of months. But since then.... ahhhh.... :D

(also, I'm a fan of a chillier house for sleeping. I LOVE getting into a cold bed with cold sheets!!! Sigh.... Anyway, with the whole no sheets or blankets thing that most people talk about when co-sleeping, I think there would be no possibility of sleep. I'll take it cold and bundle up in the blankets! :D )

 

 

ETA: Oh, and they slept in their own rooms, too, pretty early on. Link from the time he was born, Astro once he slept through the night (would have loved to put him in his crib but they shared a room, and I wasn't a fan of an almost 2 year old waking up every time), and Pink once she slept through the night (DH actually slept in her room on the twin size bed til she slept through the night. I always got up for night feedings - it just made sense to me. Still does. I didn't have anywhere to be the next day at 7:30 am. He did. :) )

Edited June 1, 2012 by PeacefulChaos

[Alte Veste Academy]

Not a chance. If people want to, whatever. But I love my peaceful, uninterrupted, sleep far too much. :D I don't even like to be able to tell that DH is in the bed with me! :lol:

 

I find this so funny because my reason for co-sleeping with infants was precisely so I could sleep. When baby is fussy about sleeping alone, Mommy isn't getting good sleep, regardless of having the bed to myself.

 

What kind of a baby did you have who allowed you peaceful, uninterrupted sleep, no matter where s/he was sleeping? :tongue_smilie:

 

No joke, DD's first night home from the hospital, she slept straight through from 10:30 pm - 4:30 am. I was so freaked out I finally woke her up. I'd been up since about 2:30 anyway, my nursies alarm already having gone off... :lol:

[3peasinapod]

We had a little cosleeper bed that I used until about 4 months, when I moved them into their crib because they were sleeping through the night. I did breast feed.

[Soror]

N But I love my peaceful, uninterrupted, sleep far too much. :D I don't even like to be able to tell that DH is in the bed with me! :lol:

 

That is exactly why I cosleep :)

 

I also do it because I believe it is the safest option from the research I've read, assuming one follows guidelines, no drugs, obesity, etc. We take all crib deaths as just a freak accident but if it happens to be while co-sleeping it is automatically the parents fault.

[Shellydon]

Never co-slept, can't stand sleeping next to wiggly, noisy babies/toddlers. Nursed everyone for about 2 years each.

[melissel]

I find this so funny because my reason for co-sleeping with infants was precisely so I could sleep.

 

Here too. DD9 had only been home a couple of nights, and the getting up every 2-3 hours was killing me. At one point, I got up to get her in the middle of the night, groggy and muddleheaded, when I slipped and almost fell. I nearly dropped her, and in the acrobatics I did to avoid dropping her and/or falling on her, I nearly ripped half my (many many) stitches out. I ended up sobbing in the bed, and that was the last time she slept in her moses basket :tongue_smilie:

 

I definitely slept better with her next to me all night than I would have if I'd had to wake repeatedly. As I mentioned earlier, I'm extremely unpleasant when woken unexpectedly, and if I've slept a few hours and then awaken, I can't go back to sleep for another few hours. Drifting in and out for 8 hours netted me more sleep than getting all the way up through the night would have!

 

I'm not sure how well it would have worked for us if we couldn't have sidecarred the crib though. We moved from an apartment to our house when she was 8 months old, and we had really reached the limits of our comfort in the queen bed we had. Once we moved, we had a bigger room and space to pull the crib alongside. It really worked beautifully for our situation.

[BoZeeCo's Mom]

I moved them into their own beds (always in the same room with us) at about 9 months old. Then to their rooms around their first birthday.

[Stayseeliz]

We cosleep until baby is about 9 months old then we move them to a crib next to the bed and put baby in bed with us to nurse when they wake up in the morning.

[cuckoomamma]

Was certain I'd never co-sleep and co-slept with both girls. It was/is the best thing ever!

[Shellydon]

Here too. DD9 had only been home a couple of nights, and the getting up every 2-3 hours was killing me. At one point, I got up to get her in the middle of the night, groggy and muddleheaded, when I slipped and almost fell. I nearly dropped her, and in the acrobatics I did to avoid dropping her and/or falling on her, I nearly ripped half my (many many) stitches out. I ended up sobbing in the bed, and that was the last time she slept in her moses basket :tongue_smilie:

 

I definitely slept better with her next to me all night than I would have if I'd had to wake repeatedly. As I mentioned earlier, I'm extremely unpleasant when woken unexpectedly, and if I've slept a few hours and then awaken, I can't go back to sleep for another few hours. Drifting in and out for 8 hours netted me more sleep than getting all the way up through the night would have!

 

I'm not sure how well it would have worked for us if we couldn't have sidecarred the crib though. We moved from an apartment to our house when she was 8 months old, and we had really reached the limits of our comfort in the queen bed we had. Once we moved, we had a bigger room and space to pull the crib alongside. It really worked beautifully for our situation.

 

 

Having a baby next to me making noises, scratching their fingernails on the sheets, wiggling, made sure I didn't sleep a bit. By the time they are 6 months, they are rolling non-stop, kicking the bed, flailing arms. No thanks, I don't like being pummeled all night. :D

[Harriet Vane]

I didn't set out to have my child sleep in my bed (they had a crib, bassinette of their own), but they usually wound up in my bed at some point in the night when I was too tired to stay up rocking them anymore. I nursed them both.

 

:iagree:

[melissel]

Having a baby next to me making noises, scratching their fingernails on the sheets, wiggling, made sure I didn't sleep a bit. By the time they are 6 months, they are rolling non-stop, kicking the bed, flailing arms. No thanks, I don't like being pummeled all night. :D

 

It's so funny that none of that fazed me in the least then. But if my DH even bumps me in the night now, it interrupts my sleep. If he tries to snuggle me, I'm wide awake (that dude's arms are HEAVY!). I guess it's a good thing I don't have infants now. I don't know what I'd do!

[Annie Laurie]

DS1 didn't because the "BOOKS" said it wasn't safe. We did EVERYTHING by the book with him...poor guy :). He was bottle-fed after about 10 weeks old.

 

Ditto. I was very young. My second baby I nursed and tried to cosleep with but he slept terribly and at 3 months old I tried putting him in the crib in his room and he slept all night so we stuck with that. He continued to nurse for quite awhile though. My next two babies both nursed for a long time and coslept until around 2 or 3. My current 18 month old was just recently night weaned and is sleeping through the night in his crib in my room now. He never coslept well, he woke up a lot.

[Bluegoat]

I nursed and co-slep with all three.

 

I didn't plan to co-sleep and dd7 started out in a bassinett, but we lived in a cottage heated with wood, and it got really cold in the bedroom in the night. After I figured out how to nurse without a gazillion pillows in a specific chair I brought her in to bed because I was freezing my butt off (and other things off!) and I was also worried that she was cold in the bassinett. I knew that babies can regulate their teperature a lot better when they are skin to skin with an adult, so it seemd like a good idea.

 

And it seemed to work, I was not so cold and she also slept about twice as long between feedings, and I noticed that I could easily sooth her just by touch.

 

She only slept with us a year - she is a very active sleeper even now and no one else could sleep. Dd4 co-slept for about two years until her brother came along, and he is still co-sleeping at just over two years. We're planning to move him in with the girls this summer.

[thefragile7393]

nursing, co slept all the time because I was too lazy and tired to get up and go elsewhere. I stopped going to peds a long time ago for sleeping or nutrition advice...I found that they were wrong on a lot of things and just because they have a lot more schooling than me does not mean they know everything. We co-slept safely and have no regrets.

[ebrindam]

We always co-slept. DD still sleeps with us. :001_wub:

[higginszoo]

First -- pumped, then bottle-fed, didn't cosleep

Second -- combo of bf and bottles, didn't cosleep

Third -- combo -- coslept when dh wasn't there (he moved 6 weeks ahead of us when ds was 4 weeks old).

Fourth -- combo -- coslept almost exclusively until she was almost a year old.

 

I did find it more convenient to nurse at night when they were cosleeping, but the bigger factor was that our youngest was (still is) a terrible sleeper, and it was easier to settle her back in when she was right there ... when we put her in the crib, I was having to get up and tend her many times a night. If she was right there, dh or I could usually resettle her without fully waking up ourselves.

[HeidiKC]

We slept with all our babies when they first came home from the hospital, but I can't remember how long it was for or why we did that! And I'm kind of the type that would think that sounds dangerous. I guess partly I know I'm a very light sleeper and I was very careful about it. (That's what they all say, I'm sure). I think with the first baby it was several weeks. Now that I think back, I think maybe it was because I had HELLP syndrome and couldn't really walk for a couple of weeks after I got home.

 

Anyway, after the initial homecoming, none of them ever slept in our bed at night and nursing was just fine. All three of my babies were sleeping through the night (and I mean 9-11 hours!!!) from 8-9 weeks old. They did very well in their own bed (which was in our bedroom).

[Lisa in SC]

Co-slept and breastfed all of them. It made for a much happier baby and mama in our case. Those days are long over, and I miss them. :)

[WagsWife]

I voted Nursing...Co-slept all the time, but that was only for my youngest. The other two, I would feed and then put back to bed every time. I was the ripe old age of 27 when I got pregnant with our third, and I told DH that I was too old, to be getting up in the middle of the night. The baby slept with us from day one.

[jenangelcat]

Coslept with all three, breastfed until around 20 months and continued to cosleep until around 3. Our youngest is 21 months and still in bed with us.

[acablue]

Unique circumstances here, so no nursing, but 2 of our 3 slept with us at some point.

[Audrey]

Bottle fed, co-slept until age 4. Bf'ing moms don't own the concept of AP. Just saying... ;)

[ereks mom]

Just out of curiosity, are they sure that is what happened? Did the mom wake up on top of the baby? Or did they determine later the baby died from lack of oxygen?

 

I'm wondering because some say cosleeping deaths are attributed to rolling on top of a baby when they are actually sids deaths.

 

It was the father, and he woke up lying on top of the baby.

[ChristusG]

I'm a big advocate of co-sleeping....even though I originally thought my babies would never sleep in my bed. :tongue_smilie:

 

The very first night we brought DD#1 home from the hospital, I laid her in the bassinet beside our bed. I looked down at her tiny sleeping body, so small in that bassinet....so alone with no blankets, pillows, stuffed animals. I was young, my first day of being a mother, but I just did what came naturally. I picked her up, laid her in the crook of my arm, and that's where she slept for a long time afterwards.

 

DD#1 slept with us for years....DD#2 was born when #1 was 2 years, 10 months old. We got a king sized bed right before DD#2 was born. And then there was four in the bed. About a year or two later it began getting a bit crowded. So we put DD#1 (then about 5 years old) in a toddler bed in our bedroom. About a year after that, we got a full sized bed and pushed it against our queen (we switched back to that because it was more comfy). We moved DD#1 and 2 into that (they were about 3 and 6 years old). DD#2 would still snuggle up beside me nearly every night though.

 

Now, my older two are still in the full sized bed, kn our room. And DD#3 (7 months) sleeps with us.

 

I love our family bedroom.

 

I'm a stickler for safe co-sleeping. My babies sleep beside me and me only. I put them on the outside of the bed and put up a bed rail. In the small crack between the bedrail/mattress, I put a rolled up fleece blanket. Blankets go across me and underneath baby. Baby stays in the crook of my arm.

 

There's nothing like snuggling up with your children and sleeping all night long. We sleep better. We make memories. And I get to savor their young years a little bit more. One day they will not need me during the night.

[Seeking Squirrels]

DD has been in our bed since the day she was born. She was breastfed. She has spent probably 5 weeks worth of nights in her own bed over the last year and a half. Every once in a while she decides she wants to. With this baby, we're not even setting up a crib or sleeper of any kind. It would just take up valuable space and wouldn't be used.

 

I loved having her in bed with us as a baby. It made nights so much easier. When she woke in the night to nurse, she was right there and I didn't even have to get up. I'd wake to her movements and waking before she really got crying most of the time. She'd nurse and we'd both go right back to sleep. So much less disruption than getting up to attend to a crying baby. And later it meant getting to sleep in longer in the morning because she'd wake and just come over and nurse for a while instead of calling for mommy.

[MomtoCandJ]

DD coslept excusively from about 10 1/2 months to 15 months. She climbed out of crib at 8 1/2 months (she didn't sleep in it at all until 6 months) and climbed out of play yard at 10 1/2 months old (where she slept the first 6 months before first feeding) at 15 months we figured out that she had to have her whole twin size bed put together with a safety rail for her to sleep on it. SHe would not sleep on just the mattress on the floor or the boxspring and mattress on the floor. She now sleeps in her twin size bed with no safety rail. Though most nights she ends up in our bed at some point. Also I worked evenings as a gas station clerk and dd and dh often fell asleep together in our bed after her bottle. DD sleeps between us I think dh is just as intuned to her as I am... Then again she's such a daddy's girl

Edited June 4, 2012 by melissamathews

[SBMama]

I think I am going to vote "other."

 

DD1 nursed until she was 18 months. We coslept until a few months after she turned 5.

 

DD2 nursed until she was 2.5 years. We coslept with her until right around her 3rd birthday.

 

DD3 is 6 months. She nursed for 6 weeks, and now I exclusively pump and feed bottles of thickened breastmilk due to a medical condition that she has. She sleeps in a cosleeper right next to our bed, and has only slept in bed with us for a couple of hours a handful of times. She slept in the cosleeper even when she was nursing. She is a great sleeper, and I do not sleep well with a young baby in bed so it works well for us. We originally coslept with the other two girls out of necessity, so that we could all get some sleep. DD3 is getting too big for the cosleeper, so I will move DD3's crib into our room and sidecar it to the bed soon. I do believe it is important for baby to sleep close to mom.

[ktgrok]

Bottle fed, co-slept until age 4. Bf'ing moms don't own the concept of AP. Just saying... ;)

 

oh no, of course not! I think she mentioned it either because the risk of SIDS is different for bottlefed/breastfed, or because with bottlefeeding you might have to get up anyway, making cosleeping less the convenience factor that it is for a nursing mom.

 

But many of my closest friends, IN my AP parenting group, bottlefed.

[babysparkler]

I didn't know how to answer the poll...

 

With our first, we co-slept. It was wonderful until he was old enough to move back to his own room... that was miserable. It took us about a year to fully make the transition, and with a growing belly, there just wasn't room for him anymore. It was so miserable of a transition that we never made that mistake again, and the other three were all nursed and put back into their cribs (first 3 months a crib in our room, then after that, their own room).

[Mom22ns]

I needed multiple answers to this. My first co-slept from a couple of months old until second came along, then moved to a toddler bed in my room.

 

I was all ready to co-sleep with my second and she just didn't sleep well that way. I moved her to a co-sleeper bed and then to her own room in just a couple of weeks :(. She slept better when I wasn't close by.

 

Co-sleeping is not only an individual parenting decision, but an individual child based decision too.