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Everything posted by Audrey

  1. We're all sad here over this. One of my work partners was a billet family for one of the boys lost. Kindly enough, our employer has given her extra time off to heal. It's hard to see so many so close to home who are connected to the tragedy. We're a huge country geographically, but still such a small town in the grand scheme of things.
  2. I will tell you a story that I've told others, including myself, who love a person who doesn't have all their crap together at 18 or 20 or... My brother had the worst time in school. He hated it. He had some challenges that made it more difficult for him, but overall, he genuinely didn't want to be in school and got little value from it. He really only bothered showing up because of sports, and back then they didn't have a minimum average you had to maintain to play. He barely graduated. He had exactly the lowest average you could have and still walk away with a diploma. At graduation, ou
  3. :iagree: The vast, vast majority of male bosses I've had have been properly respectful. The very few who have been inappropriate really stand out, though. It's easier to remember the jerks, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten the decent men. I think that we should be shocked at the jerks, precisely because they AREN'T the norm. Everyone is NOT doing it.
  4. He was quite the icon of that era. Not a good one, of course, but one nonetheless.
  5. Not surprised, I'm sure. It is infuriating, though, that all of the onus for abuse is on us, not our abusers. They're just boys being boys, or men who were led to lust, or they were all loose women anyway, so it doesn't count, or... whatever other patriarchal bullshit line they want to throw out there. Let's talk about how men should be changing their behaviour. And, I'm not just talking about the ones who are abusing and assaulting others. I sincerely want to know what silences the decent men out there, that they don't speak up.
  6. Instead of saying "willingly trading sexual favours," perhaps try framing from the perspective of a woman who is overwhelmed, intimidated, coerced, bribed, cornered and trapped into submitting to a power player. Submitting to that is not an act of "willingness." It's about mitigating the potential damage that could be done to you. And ultimately, none of this is about sex. It's about one person exerting their extraordinary power over another vulnerable person.
  7. Pre-teen/teen years are hard. Sooooo many hormone rushes! It's an emotional rollercoaster for them and everyone within firing range. It does get better. In the meantime, it's okay to call them on it when they're being unreasonably crappy, but you don't have to be harsh. I'd ask my ds, "what did I really do to deserve that?" and that was usually enough of a "check" to make him stop and realise he'd been unreasonable. And, I also extended him a lot of grace when it was obvious he was having a frustrating, tough time. I just tried to remember how I'd been at that age, and how I would have
  8. I use NatraCare products. I had always found pads uncomfortable and tampons unbearable. At some point in my 20's, I purchased some all cotton/organic pads out of desperation. It was all I could find immediately and needed them. To my surprise they weren't itchy/uncomfortable. I didn't know any different, so until I tried something that didn't irritate me, I just assumed being so uncomfortable was normal. I kept using that brand and some other organic cotton brands after that, eventually settling into the NatraCare brand as they're easy for me to find here.
  9. Dark horizontal stripes on a white or cream top look really chic under a casual jacket or longer cardigan. Didn't you get an anorak or some kind of coat? I'll bet that striped top would look great under that with skinny jeans and those awesome olive booties (that was you, too, right?)
  10. I remember. Some things can never be forgotten. :svengo: A washing machine, though. That's an inventive twist. :ack2:
  11. This is kind of where I am at the moment. Something you think that, for sure, is going to make the other person walk. But then it doesn't. People really can surprise you. Sometimes you really surprise yourself. Lots more grey in the world than you would guess, KWIM?
  12. This is rambling thoughts from the thread about the spouse no longer attracted to their mate. The discussion included some thoughts on how weight might be related to a person feeling that their partner had given up on themselves, their spouse, the relationship... and it made me wonder if weight was a deal break for some. And, then I was thinking "what are deal breakers for people?" My spouse recently said to me that the only thing he couldn't forgive in our marriage is the irreversible thing (suicide). He can work with me on anything and everything else, but only if I'm there. He's qu
  13. Just jumping off of this... There can be many reasons why a person doesn't want their spouse to be overweight. It can be a shallow, selfish reason such as that they feel the overweight spouse embarrasses them. It can be a fear reason such as that the overweight spouse's health is in jeopardy and the partner fears losing them. It can anything in between there or a combination of many reasons. I think that if spouse A isn't physically attracted anymore, it may be a good idea for them to examine why they no longer feel attracted. Is it really just the physical appearance of their pa
  14. I once worked as an attendant at a parking garage. It was very boring. The most exciting thing was when the ticket dispenser would jam and I'd have to go crawl between the gate to try to fix it before cars piled up too much. I found a way to make it less boring by making a game out of saying "hello" and "have a nice day" for every line of cars. The way it worked was that there would be periods where cars would be lined up to leave. I would try not to greet people the same way twice in a line, nor wish them well the same way twice in a line. Short lines were easy. The long, long lines were
  15. I think the bolded is the key here. It makes me wonder WHY they are deluding themselves. You have to work up a justification for something like this. She is a child. Any rational adult would be concerned for the mental and physical welfare of this child. We're supposed to protect children, especially our own children. Aren't we?
  16. I once made an African Groundnut Stew with cashew butter accidentally (I opened the wrong jar). I have always made it that way since then. It is always a hit. I think the cashew is milder in taste than peanut, but it has a depth of flavour peanut lacks. Paired with the hot pepper of the stew, it's a great balance in flavour.
  17. For getting them to share a room to eat, try bringing one in and then put up a sheet or large cardboard and bring in the other one to eat opposite that. This blocks sight from each other, but they will smell each other. The aim here is to slowly be able to eliminate the sheet/cardboard and have them be able to see each other and still eat. Then bring bowls closer together. If you do this for every feeding, it works better. It's a bit more difficult to implement if you are not a timed feeder (i.e. you leave for out for them to graze at all times). The older cat will probably not like the
  18. This just reaffirms my gratitude for having a spouse who agreed to elope.
  19. From my experience (and you know well how extensive that is :lol: ) female to female cat relationships are the toughest to negotiate. But... it can be done. With cats, it is the females who are alphas, especially if all the cats in the group are spayed/neutered. What seems to help best is to allow them to claim their own spaces. The higher up they are, the more secure they will feel, so tall cat trees with perches are a must. Put those near windows. It makes them feel like they are queens of all they survey and looking out a window makes it feel like their turf is huge. What's import
  20. 15 yo and 25 yo isn't cool, even in Okie culture. Not in this century, at least. I am appalled right along with you.
  21. I agree with this. Tinted moisturizer or a BB or CC cream (just fancier versions of tinted moisturizer) will work better for looking natural and helping with dryness. Also, a bit of mascara and either sheer lip gloss or a tinted lip balm will do wonders. The last thing I'd add to this is to consider using a brow pencil or other brow definer. It really makes a difference and it's simple and quick to do.
  22. Except for my participation here, I won't be involved in homeschooling anymore. Even then, I'm not sure how much value I would have to offer in the way of curriculum discussion once a few years have passed. The curriculum scene has grown so much from when I started homeschooling -- which is a great thing! But, I never did keep up with what was new and effective once my own kid was past those ages. I don't want to be that kind of person who keeps recommending 20 year old curriculum that isn't in print anymore, KWIM? "Oh, that's just Audrey touting that old Oak Meadow grade 4 from 2001. Just
  23. If this statement were about me, specifically, I would agree. I prefer to keep my emotions in check and to myself. I am not the kind of person who is helped by having others witness my emotional break-downs. It just makes me feel resentful, angry and vulnerable -- which is the absolute worst feeling and leads me to lash out in very hurtful ways (like the can't-take-that-back kind of ways). So, yes... if I'm a mess, I should stay away from other people. If this is a blanket statement, I would have to disagree. Some people are really good at helping a hot mess, and some hot messes are r
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