Indigo Blue Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 (edited) Back in the day when things were settled that way and weapons weren’t involved? I’m kinda embarrassed to start this thread, but mine has. I think y’all might think bad of my dh if I tell you. But he did. A few times. He never started one, though. He was mistakenly mixed up with someone who snitched on a guy named “Henry”. People warned Dh that Henry was looking for Dh to fight him. Dh was facing his locker and he felt a hard blow between his shoulder blades. Dh turned to him and said, Henry, just let me put my books in my locker. Then he turned and Henry said, now what? Dh came around and landed a punch and Henry went down. He came up and they scuffed a bit. Dh twisted his torso to avoid being kneed in his man parts. Dh had the best of him and Henry finally backed away. Henry walked around the rest of that day with a large knot on the side of his head. Dh was small, scrappy, but very strong. After having to defend himself a few times, he gained a reputation of being someone not to mess with. For his age now, he is still very strong. He just has that kind of build. I’m embarrassed telling this. Anyway, if this happened today, the results could have been very different. Please know Dh was not a trouble maker. I just thought, well, I don’t think this has ever been discussed on here. Edited June 2 by Indigo Blue Typo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 Yep, we both did. We grew up in the hood of SoCal, in the 80's, so that's just how it was. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted June 2 Author Share Posted June 2 I also know a girl whose sister was getting picked on. When she tells the story, she explains that she just decided that was enough and the next day she would put a stop to her sister being bullied. She says, “I got up the next morning and put on some old clothes, went to school, and took care of it.” Just like it was nothing. I never came anywhere near close to physically fighting anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 No, but I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 I can't begin to imagine DH getting physical with anyone. But I did. Twice. Both times it was in defense of someone else. I couldn't stand to see nice kids getting bullied, so I put a stop to it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 15 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said: Anyway, if this happened today, the results could have been very different. <snip> I just thought, well, I don’t think this has ever been discussed on here. There were always bad results from fights. A friend of mine in high school was stabbed to death in what started as a regular old fistfight. Kids do still get in fist fights, but both kids usually aim for a different location than school, because most schools have zero tolerance policies for everyone involved, even in cases of clear self-defense. I taught an outside class at two different high schools for one quarter in 2019 (literally finished the day before schools were covid-closed), and there was probably at least a fight per week. No weapons. It's been discussed here, possibly before your time. There's very little that has not been discussed here, lol. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 Yes. One time. And it was to defend a female friend who was being shoved around by a bully, sexually harassed, your basic Jude Law from "Breakfast Club" type character. So he shoved him face first into the lockers, then onto the floor, and then put a knee on his back and leaned over and said he would pound the snot out of him if he ever did it again, which he didn't. Took the wind out of his sick sails. I also was in one fight. A guy kept snapping my bra strap, repeatedly, and then the did it to the girl next to me. We turned on him and kicked his a$$, or more appropriately, his family jewels. He laid on the ground moaning for a long time and our female PE teacher just leaned over and said, "You wanna dance, you gotta pay the fiddler." She winked and walked away. He never touched us again. For all I know, he never was able to have kids either. We literally lost our sh$t on him! But it had been a long time coming because he was the jacka$$ that constantly went around ranking us according to boob size, and a few other choice, disgusting comments. The other girls in class clapped. Not a single boy came to his rescue. It was the 1984. I am sure he would be hailed as a victim of feminism while we would be arrested in 2024. His uncle buddies would devote a whole youtube channel to him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 Yes. some were petty and stupid (he admits that now) some were legitimate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 No Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 No. He was a black belt and went to a small enough school that everyone knew that. But he’s also very good at reading people and avoiding dangerous situations because MIL is problematic in many ways. I also had enough self defense training that the few girls inclined to violence at my larger school left me alone. Though it’s possible a guidance counselor warned them off. They tried to start something once and we all got hauled into the office. I got asked why I didn’t fight back when several girls shoved me. I explained my training and that I would have fought back if I’d actually felt I was in danger, but hair pulling girls wasn’t the kind of thing I’d been trained for. I was sent back to class, the girls involved stayed in the office much longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Mine did. He came to a new school in 6th grade and some guy kept picking on him over his name. He did not want to start out at this new school with people thinking he was an easy victim. So he decked the guy. He also wrestled and got a black belt in karate. He did not get bothered anymore about his name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Bean Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 (edited) nm. Edited June 12 by Green Bean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Nope. Husband is only 5'6". He used to rely on talking his way out of situations. He was also a fast runner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 (edited) I don't have a DH, but I was in a couple of "fistfights" in the 8th grade. I didn't start either of them. I was bullied. Of my 5 siblings, afaik none of them was ever in a "fistfight" per se, but: Oldest (born 1963) flicked a gum wrapper in his friend's face, thinking it was funny, got tackled ("friendly" tackle), and ended up with a broken femur. Traction followed by body cast. Things you wish you could walk back .... Next oldest (born 1965), undiagnosed ASD, was a bully target, and at least once got punched for no obvious reason. He scored a broken tooth from that. 1st younger sister was tormented by bullies, but I don't recall if anyone ever hit her. Youngest sister had some girl smack her head into her locker in high school. Her automatic response was to grab the girl by the hair and smash her head repeatedly into the locker. That never happened again. 😛 I don't recall my dad telling me about any fistfights. He is a very gentle person as was his dad, so there probably wasn't much to tell. My mom did have a situation similar to my youngest sister mentioned above. Some classmate messed with the wrong person and paid. 😛 Edited June 3 by SKL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Oh and my kids' school has had plenty of old-fashioned fistfights ... usually boys. The non-participants stand around and video the fights. Nowadays, teachers are not allowed to touch kids, even to stop a creep from beating up a smaller kid. It's insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 I did in 2nd grade when my classmate snatched my water bottle. My homeroom teacher who is a nun was amused. My husband never did fight. My younger brother was bullied for a few days and decided enough was enough and fought back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Neither of us did. We didn't really have them at my elementary schools nor at high school. I can't remember any there, In junior high there were some fights but nothing to do w me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 No, not that I know. There were a few defending-others moments that were pretty heated/intimidating, I think, but no fist fights. Neither did I. And I attended a school in the 80s with some seriously big fights. I kept to my friend group and stayed away from the fighting areas. DS’s best friend for many years was the most gentle, kind person, but went to a high school known for fights. He got into many. I still scratch my head about that, it just doesn’t fit with the kid I know, but it happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 My husband has always been the big boy/man. He tells me he got in lot of fights defending kids being bullied. Sounds like him. i got into a physical fight in 10th grade with a girl who felt her boyfriend was in love with me. To be fair he was. We both escaped the madness that was him and later he was murdered. My fight was a one off though. I wasn’t a fighter. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 10 hours ago, Faith-manor said: Yes. One time. And it was to defend a female friend who was being shoved around by a bully, sexually harassed, your basic Jude Law from "Breakfast Club" type character. So he shoved him face first into the lockers, then onto the floor, and then put a knee on his back and leaned over and said he would pound the snot out of him if he ever did it again, which he didn't. Took the wind out of his sick sails. I also was in one fight. A guy kept snapping my bra strap, repeatedly, and then the did it to the girl next to me. We turned on him and kicked his a$$, or more appropriately, his family jewels. He laid on the ground moaning for a long time and our female PE teacher just leaned over and said, "You wanna dance, you gotta pay the fiddler." She winked and walked away. He never touched us again. For all I know, he never was able to have kids either. We literally lost our sh$t on him! But it had been a long time coming because he was the jacka$$ that constantly went around ranking us according to boob size, and a few other choice, disgusting comments. The other girls in class clapped. Not a single boy came to his rescue. It was the 1984. I am sure he would be hailed as a victim of feminism while we would be arrested in 2024. His uncle buddies would devote a whole youtube channel to him. Did you mean Judd Nelson’s character aka Bender in The Breakfast Club? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Neither of us did. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 No. He’s not the fighting type. He’s very easygoing and no-one ever had a problem with him. He also went to a small private school where everyone knew everyone and discipline was strict. It was easy to get kicked out. There wasn’t really fighting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 (edited) That wasn't a thing at our high school. That doesn't mean people were all nice to each other. DH had been treated badly by the boys he'd gone to school with all the way through, but I don't think there were fist fights. And by high school, he was six feet tall (and while thin, tended to carry a backpack full of heavy textbooks), a deterrent to little jerks who might otherwise have tried him. There were a couple of girls who talked s--t about me. I didn't even care enough about their opinion to argue verbally. They didn't touch me, and they soon bored of trying to provoke me. (I would've felt no qualms about fighting back if needed and wouldn't have gotten into trouble at home.) Edited June 3 by 73349 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 No, but my dad did. He spoke up when a disabled classmate was being bullied and got into a fist fight. The principal intervened, and because my dad was teary and didn't want anyone to see, he went out to his car. When he was backing up, he almost hit the principal (apparently the principal was not well-liked and the teachers who were watching enjoyed that bit more than they should have). He drove home and sat outside. A while later, his guidance counselor showed up at the house and they sat in lawn chairs and talked. He didn't get in trouble. 1960's, small town. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
historically accurate Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Neither my DH nor I did, but my brother fought with the next door neighbor kid one time in jr high. I distinctly remember my mom bringing him home (I think I must've been home sick) and yelling, "You could beat the crap out of each other on the weekend and NOT get suspended for it!". Fights were really common in my schools, until I went to boarding school in 10th grade, but I avoided them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 I don't have any fight stories to tell, but there were frequent, probably daily, fights in my high school in 1974. There were probably knives involved at some points too. The fights between girls, which were also frequent, drew more attention than the boys'. I'm quite certain my brother engaged in plenty of fights in school. I haven't talked to my husband yet today but I doubt he was a fighter. I wouldn't think badly of your husband or anyone else who had fights in high school, assuming they didn't go on to engage in fights in adulthood, ya know? Which I'm pretty sure your husband has not. I am kinda curious, I admit, why you started the thread if you are embarrassed by your husband's history. But rest assured that he is far from the only person who survived high school fights and went on to successful adulthood. 💗 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 I didn't but SO grew up where knowing how to fight and defend yourself was extremely important. I only know some of the stories and I don't ask for details. He went to a strict private school, so school time was not the issue. In the decade that I've known him, I've never seen him so much as raise his voice at anyone. In the years that we've been together, we've never even had a real argument. Since leaving that area, he has used his martial skills in other ways, like sword fighting in historical reenactment groups. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 No Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 My husband, yes. Me, no. There is one guy who I wish I had punched senior year. He kept putting ice down the back of my pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 I don't know. Never asked and he never mentioned anything. I'm guessing with his personality that he didn't physically fight. He'd be more likely to avoid and talk his way out of fights. I did, off-school property. It was swift and never happened again. I don't even know who "won" or exactly why we arranged the fight. It was a pre-planned thing. It was against another girl. I think once we actually met up face to face, our steam evaporated pretty quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 A couple of my ds's have been a little 'physical' as well, though never a full-blown fight. One ds was hit by his cousin and my ds quickly appologized many times for being a victim, I guess. The other was a quick and pretty gentle 'take down' of a good friend to my ds - who wouldn't stop bugging the boy. It was super effective and reminded me of older dogs putting puppies into submission for acting stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 In our rural high school in the 80’s, I’m sure there were people who may have had a switchblade stuck in their sock or something. But there were never incidents of anything other than physical fights while we were there. Some fights broke out on school buses. And I have posted before how students used to be bus drivers. Dh was one of them. People used to stand up in the aisle holding their books because the seats were full. They’d ride home like that. Student driving, overcrowded bus….it sounds so horrendous now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 This thread is cracking me up because nobody was ever the one who started the fight unless it was for an incredibly noble cause. 😉 Come on, all you troublemakers out there -- 'fess up!!! 😁 1 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 36 minutes ago, Catwoman said: This thread is cracking me up because nobody was ever the one who started the fight unless it was for an incredibly noble cause. 😉 Come on, all you troublemakers out there -- 'fess up!!! 😁 It's true in my case. However, I guess it may depend on how you define "defend." Someone accused me of calling my former friend a b----, which was untrue. I don't know whether the girl even believed it,but she insisted that she needed to beat me up. Honestly she was a girl with many troubles - academically borderline, on drugs, whatever else. I joined her friend group when I moved from another city - I liked that they were a bit rebellious - but I was a pretty advanced student, so I think something about that was annoying. Anyhoo, after weeks of physical torment and threats by her and her friends, she demanded that I fight her after English class. I figured that could be the only way to end things. (Teachers definitely saw the bullying and did nothing.) I suggested she wait until we got into the hall, but she started hitting me in front of the teacher, so the "fight" ended before it really began ... but I did throw one punch with my left (right hand was full of books). Teacher did not see that part and reported that I had not hit back. So of course, her friends all thought that I lied and got ex-friend suspended. So after that, they all wanted to beat me up. They decided to be "kind" and only elect the biggest girl (instead of the whole group) to beat me up. Perhaps that girl thought she was "defending" her friend. That time, I didn't hit back, but I lied and said I did, hoping that the bullying might end. It didn't. So maybe someone out there thinks I started one or both fights. Whatever. 😛 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 52 minutes ago, Catwoman said: This thread is cracking me up because nobody was ever the one who started the fight unless it was for an incredibly noble cause. 😉 Come on, all you troublemakers out there -- 'fess up!!! 😁 I confess. I have no defence. The person must have ticked me off emensely. It wasn't my fault. 🙃 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 No Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 DH didn’t. He’s never been in a fist fight in his life, I’m pretty sure. Until recently I’d ever heard him even raise his voice. Both my next oldest sister and I did. I don’t know about my other sisters; they were all just enough younger than me that I wasn’t privy to all of their day to day life and secrets lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 2 hours ago, Catwoman said: This thread is cracking me up because nobody was ever the one who started the fight unless it was for an incredibly noble cause. 😉 Come on, all you troublemakers out there -- 'fess up!!! 😁 Seriously nope. Both my husband and I came from homes where if you were not actively defending yourself or someone else from a situation that would make our fathers take our side, we would have been beaten even as teens. Neither of our dads would tolerate fighting. My dad was quite pleased with my response to the sexual harassment. But if it had been over anything less than that/started a brawl just because I was ticked off, I would have caught hell at home. Probably a belt. Mark would have definitely gotten a belt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 3 hours ago, Catwoman said: This thread is cracking me up because nobody was ever the one who started the fight unless it was for an incredibly noble cause. 😉 Come on, all you troublemakers out there -- 'fess up!!! 😁 Dh was totally not guilty in my story. Outside of the fight, he did not associate with that guy, who was a known troublemaker. And that guy struck the first blow while Dh had his back turned. That guy was known to fight dirty. In the eighth grade, a few boys were goofing around and grabbed Dh to shove his face in the toilet. They really were not fighting. They were just guys being stupid. Dh locked his arms as they held him, but they were not strong enough to get him to bend his scrappy little wiry arms of steel, lol. One of the guys said “Oooooo, look, his hands are dirty! He touched the toilet!” Dh just looked at him, by now a bit annoyed. Another guy, Harry, said, “Oh, oh. (My Dh) is fixing to whoop your a$$!” That guy said, “Shut up, Harry!” And they walked out of the bathroom like nothing happened. No, dh didn’t go looking for trouble. But it was the 80’s in the South in a podunk school full of yahoos. I will fess up to this… He once did knock the glasses off of the guy who is now the father of our older son’s best friend. In middle school. Over something dumb. That guy today is really not a nice guy. Rather abusive and mean. Dh can’t remember why he did that. We were talking about this yesterday, and I asked Dh if he thought the man even remembered that. Dh said he didn’t think he did, and he was never planning to mention it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 (edited) Yes. Edited June 3 by annandatje Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 My husband says, "Yes, on a few occasions. Mostly I got punched. I did retaliate to varying degrees of effectiveness on one or two occasions. I tried really hard to avoid them. People would say, 'Let's have a fight after school.' And I would say, "No, that's stupid. Why would I sign up to get beat up? If you want to find me, I walk home every day past the state police station." His sister actually got into way more fights, sometimes trying to defend her little brother (my husband). I, on the other hand, never had anything like a fight. I had precocious puberty and always towered over everyone in pretty much the entire school till high school, and a reputation as a major nerd. I did have a few instances of things like people pulling my bra straps or putting used lollipops in my hair or pushing me down the stairs at school, and a couple of instances of things like people throwing eggs at my house and trying to run me and my car off the road in high school after I questioned the legality of restaurants and service providers refusing to serve people based on their skin color. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Not that I know of, but he did play hockey, so there’s that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 @Terabith, that’s awful. That makes me so angry for you. I had a similar experience as you did with the lollipop, but it was mixed up bits of newspaper. I thought they were “styling” my hair. They were mean girls that I mistakenly thought were being nice to me. It happened in our neighborhood , not at school. I got home to find bits of paper wound up in my hair. I still remember how that made me feel. I’m sorry that happened. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 6 hours ago, Heatherwith4 said: My husband, yes. Me, no. There is one guy who I wish I had punched senior year. He kept putting ice down the back of my pants. If you have his address, we can turn it into a WTM forum road trip! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted June 3 Author Share Posted June 3 1 minute ago, Catwoman said: If you have his address, we can turn it into a WTM forum road trip! Then I say we divert to Terabith’s town…… 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 2 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said: Then I say we divert to Terabith’s town…… Oh, this was NOT in the town I currently live. This was the town in South Dakota that I lived for two years (junior and senior year in high school). I chose my college in the town where I currently live (even though we moved away after college for about ten years, but we came back because we love it so much and my husband's parents are here) based on the fact that it was as far away from my town in South Dakota as I could get, pretty much, while still being in the continental United States. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frogger Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 DH did not but I did 4 times. Twice in elementary and twice in Middle School. I was protective and was always willing to step between a bully and victim. Only once against a boy. Typically if you stand up to a bully they would back down and not fight so I had lots of those moments too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildflowerMom Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 Mine did once. He was about 12 or so, I think. The twist? The guy he beat up was the same guy who harassed (sexually and just flat out harassed) me middle school through high school at church. I didn’t know dh until college and had no idea these two knew each other until we were married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 No, but my then 7 yo Ds punched some 10yo boys who were bullying him on the YMCA playground. No more issues there. And happily none since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 35 minutes ago, ScoutTN said: No, but my then 7 yo Ds punched some 10yo boys who were bullying him on the YMCA playground. No more issues there. And happily none since. Oh, you reminded me of a family story. As my mom tells it, my brother was 5yo in KG and was very small for his age (wearing size 3 clothing). A big, overweight 6th grader was picking on him (those physical bully taunts, probably not all out punching). My brother turned around and punched him in the face; the big kid cried and tattled. Both kids' moms were called to the school office. The big boy was still crying as my brother was feistily telling his side of the story. According to my mom, all of the adults were embarrassed for the 6th grader, and wondering how my brother was able to reach high enough to punch his face. The principal gave both boys a talking-to and that was that. That brother was not bullied again afaik. :P My kids haven't reported any serious incidents. There was one time in 1st grade when my then-5yo allegedly hit a girl who wouldn't let go of her arm. And in 3rd grade, a bigger boy twisted my kid's arm (generating an incident report), but my kid didn't think too much of that - she threatened to "retaliate" if it happened again, and it never did. She is pretty feisty and a blackbelt, so nobody viewed her or her sister as easy victims. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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