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About frogger

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    Hive Mind Larvae

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    Hiking, skiing, studying the Bible, economics, and history.

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  1. Ditto this. I don't exactly care much about Mother's Day (nothing happened at all last year as I think they forgot) BUT from the sound of your post my husband shows more appreciation for me and contributes more every single day so it is easy for me to say that. I know I'm appreciated. I think I'd be run down in your shoes so don't discount your feelings. I really know little of your situation or either you or your spouses personality type and what would actually help. Always remembering the goal is to better (not destroy) your marriage I'd say your spouse needs a wake up call. A letter and discussion? Counseling? You spending a week away with mother, sister, or friend where he is forced to handle everything himself? I really don't know but I do think that it sounds like he is selfish and taking advantage of you. I'm not convinced that just getting over "the silly holiday" is the healthiest. He needs to know. He needs it explained calmly and explicitly (hopefully he won't ignore everything with a "she's just grouchy" attitude which may happen. I do hope something changes for you. 😞
  2. I'm sorry. That makes Mother's Day so hard. I'm religious so celebrating holidays that aren't Holy Days is strange. I'm not a fan of them. Wish there was no such thing as birthdays or mother's day etc. I did grow up with them but never pushed them. Some years my kids did stuff but last year they didn't bother nor did I expect it. I do call or send cards to step-mom, MIL, and my own mom just cause they celebrated with their mom. Maybe it will die with my generation (in my family) but I suppose the boys will marry and so it will carry on.
  3. TarynB- That actually sounds very interesting and he would probably do a much better job than I would. It's too bad the class is scheduled so that there would be one morning and one afternoon class for her as she wouldn't be able to attend the IT class she is taking next year. She can choose the AM or PM schedule but he has class at both times but it is very much the type of thing I'm looking for, thank you.
  4. In short, social sciences (especially economics) or those based off literature. Rambling thoughts for anyone interested below. Honestly, I'm brainstorming. She actually is a good creative writer. She has learned a lot of sentence structure and grammar with her creative writing but completely shuts down with essays and hates any curriculum with formulaic writing, which is most of them. So I'm not sure. I think I'd be able to help her with social sciences or economics the easiest as a teacher but her love is literature but not literary analysis. She thinks about literature but not with curriculum. She knows literary terms and has good vocabulary so it's possible that if she read well written and interesting essays she would appreciate them and might be tempted to agree or disagree in writing which we could then expand into an essay while addressing the logic of her argument. Trying to teach essay writing backwards, in other words, from standard primary/secondary school curriculum. I thought studying well written essays and seeing how they make you think or if they supported their point would be a better direction for us. Also, starting with something to say (from some of her reading) then expanding it to be logical and well written rather than working from the structure and trying to attach information to it might be work better for her.
  5. Not writing them but reading other people's essays and studying them. I don't know that I need a curriculum. I probably just need a bunch of essays and pick ones to annotate and teach some skills through and just discuss but thought I would see if others had found anything interesting.
  6. I have a couple children who do not work well on their own at all but it is difficult for me to manage meeting all the kids for all their subjects separately. I'm curious if the homework for the middle school and high school History Odyssey track together at all. Is the same number of weeks assigned to periods similar? Would you be at all managable to at least discuss some stuff together even if I have to check assignments separately at the beginning or end of our meeting together. Putting things together just allows me to remember and juggle less stuff.
  7. So she is a control freak? 😁 I didn't read the article since I didn't want it to get traffic but that stuck out to me.
  8. We have a '01 outback that sold us to the brand. It is never ever stuck and we can plow snow uphill with the bumper. We weren't Subaru people but it just keeps going so we ended up with an Outback WRX Wagon with a manual last year since we have 4 drivers. It has a 2006 body although a 2016 engine and tranny with only 20k miles due to DH's mad skills. The biggest difference is space. My 6'4" son can fit in the 2006 but is jammed like a sardine into the 2001. My husband opens the sun roof and tips his head sideways for a little room but he is so much happier with the comfortable room of the 2006. I actually have to move the seat forward to push the clutch all the way in and we typically never move seats in our family as we usually all drive with seats as far back as they will go. I'm not sure this is the difference in the year or a wagon versus sedan thing.
  9. Even with taking cloth bags to the store I find that there are so many plastic bags that come into our home that we can use for animal waste: tortilla bags, bagel or bread bags. I realize that homemade would have less waste but I'm out of time. Once you start looking around it's amazing how much plastic comes into the home.
  10. When we first married and both worked full time we divided household chores according to like. I didn't want to think about meals every night so he did all the cooking and I did all the cleaning and we were both content. Things got a little switched up when I decided to stay home with kids but DH is still amuch better cook and we often revert to our original roles when we have a guest on the weekend or something.
  11. When we were first married we both packed our own. Somewhere along the way, after I was staying home full time, I started packing his food because I'm a total Scrooge with the food budget. We typically don't buy frozen food etc. We usually have what's on sale and I know how to rotate through food so it doesn't get wasted. Certain things need eaten quicker than other things. If I'm sick or something he will of course pack his own. My son packs his own the vast majority of the time but a few times when I was making wraps for his father I had stuff to add him in. I left a note so he would know they were his and he has always added a thank you to the bottom of the note with no prompting.
  12. I sometimes worry that having the stricter budgets makes things too individualized. I also want all of them to learn to just take care of each other too. That we are a family and in this together. That things aren't always fair, etc. After all, we are a family unit. So there are draw backs to our way of doing things. This is where just paying because you're my child is a benefit. Of course, they can't always comprehend how much things cost if they aren't paying. I find they help each other with chores and other things if someone is busy so I think they are getting that somehow.
  13. You always stipulate a trial period with the express understanding that it can be revoked.
  14. And I can relate to your son. I haven't had my hair cut professionally for about 15 years. I just chop it off in the bathroom sometimes. My boys have an advantage since their sister is cheap. $5. Although I required them to be free until she got some practice in. She had a grandma teach her the basics for clipping boys hair.
  15. The only one who gave me trouble was my ten year old because he really doesn't care how he looks at all and would have happily wore ratty stained shirts so small his belly would stick out. My kids were older when I started this, which is an important point. We discussed if he was to keep the privilage (it's a privalage not a right 🙂 ) to make his own decisions with the money budgeted for him, he was going to have to dress appropriately, have winter gear, clean his teeth, in other words be responsible like a grown up or he would go back to mom and dad having to make decisions for him. I'd still keep it budgeted out for him but have say over where it went. I still do reserve that right but really haven't had to use it since he was 10 or so. He will be 12 this summer. The only one who asks to be cashed out in full every month is the 13 year old but he has earned my trust. Sometimes if he has money left he will put it in his savings account. IF he has been putting money in the savings account he can ask for a withdrawl for something big like belt testing or tournament fees but he usually never asks. The rest leave their money ageing in my bank account quite often, though it ebbs and flows. Part of this is the older two have their own money from jobs often. I realize this wouldn't work for everyone especially with different age kids or different issues but it has really worked for us.
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