If you have kids in college, how do you handle everyday expenses?

[Shawn On the Border]

Ds18 will be going to the local university in the fall. He wants to live on campus and have a car (we live a half hour away). I want to be very clear with him re. what we will and will not pay for. When we visited the campus, the tour guide said that parents usually put money on their kids debit cards, so that they could get pizza, fast food, etc.

 

All this really concerns me. I am very careful with our household finances. Our big splurge is going to breakfast at McDonalds a few times a week. We are very close to being debt free except our mortgage. We are giving ds a set amount of money for college tuition, books, etc. He is going to be getting a part-time job soon, which should help. I'm just really concerned that he will expect spending money on a regular basis. I don't think he can afford to live on campus and have a car (plus, it's not really necessary), but he'll have to decide. He is the kind of kid that loves to argue, so it is best to get this settled in advance.

 

How do you handle your college kid's expenses? Do you pay for their car expenses, restaurants, small purchases? Do you give them a set amount per month or help them out periodically? Do they have to earn the money themselves?

 

Shawn

[fairfarmhand]

I won't be paying for pizza. Cafeteria ticket, yes. Anything besides that, they can get a job and pay for. Especially considering that your family is careful about expenditures and on a really tight budget, I would not pay for frivolous extras.

[Mango]

When I was in college...... 

 

My folks deposited money monthly into my checking account. Through out college they gave me $80/month. 

 

I was supposed to spend it on whatever I needed or wanted. Toiletries, phone bill, movies, pizza, books.... 

 

It was expected that I wouldn't ask for more.  I paid for my own tuition too, with loans and scholarships. 

 

The only time they paid my bills was when I was really really sick and I had a medical bill beyond my student health insurance. 

 

Budgeting 101. 

 

edited: My folks were out of the country during my college years--in the pre-cell phone & internet. The only way to reach them was by snail mail and that took at least a month or more.  

[TechWife]

I think people will handle kids' finances in a variety of ways. While some may indeed put money on their kids' debit cards, there are probably some who do not. The bottom line is that you need to handle things the way that is best for your family. If giving an allowance to a college student won't work for you, don't feel bad, just set up different expectations. 

[Mrs Mungo]

I lived at home throughout college to save money. I had a car, but I needed it to commute back and forth (I only lived about 10-15 minutes from campus). I held a full-time job.

 

We plan on offering basically the same sort of thing to our kids, only we'll help them pay for school (my parents did not) so that they will only need to work part-time.

[Ali in OR]

My parents paid my room-and-board and tuition. I paid for everything else from savings, summer jobs, and hashing (food service worker) on campus. Books were probably $750 per year 25+ years ago. We regularly ordered pizzas from Dominos. I paid for football tickets, movie tickets, other entertainment. I expect a similar set-up for my kids--we'll pay their living and tuition expenses, they cover everything else. You know, it's kind of fun to be grown-up and start handling some of that on your own. Oh, and no car on campus, especially that first year. My parents gave me their old car my junior year--I didn't ask for it. They paid insurance, I paid for my gas, parking permit, and maybe a parking ticket or two! 

[J-rap]

We pay for tuition.  Our children have all worked part-time during college, and they pay for all of their own "extra" expenses -- bus pass, pizza, movies, other fun with friends misc., clothes, make-up, snacks, etc.  We do buy their basic clothes that they need, but they pay for any extras.  If they use one of our cars, they do not get it exclusively and it remains on our insurance plan.  They help pay for gas.  Once they get their own car (with their money), they pay for all car expenses.

 

We continue to pay for their cell phone because they are the same phones that were on our family plan when they were younger and it's a good plan.

 

Regarding books, our kids try to get used and we buy the first batch.  When they are done with them they sell them on Amazon.  With the money they earn, they put it into their next semester's set of books.  And so forth.  We supplement when needed. 

 

I will add that if our kids were going to school 1/2 hour away from home, they would be living at home or paying for their own dorm room.  :)   Our son paid for his own rent when he was in school and living in a boarding house, and our daughter going to school in the U.S. lives with an aunt and uncle who live just a mile away from her school.  It works out really well.  We do help pay for basic meals.

 

Families do it differently;  this has worked out for us.  However, we're not stubborn about it.  We'll change tactics if necessary.

 

 

[creekland]

I buy books - when they sell them they can keep what they get.  I almost always buy used online when I can.  We also pay their cell phone bill.  My kids pay their other expenses (beyond tuition + R & board).  None have or will have cars on campus.  It's easy to get rides from others when needed and/or take the bus (pending school).  They have work study and can use that money, though some of that also goes toward the overall bill.

 

They've learned to budget and are doing quite well.  No regrets here.

[Annie G]

Our youngest daughter is away at school- it's two and a half hours away so she lives there. She has no car- most students don't at her school.  We put money on her school card for a meal a day at school and she eats other meals at her house (lives in a house but it's campus owned- it's transitional living to get them used to being on their own).   She has a part time job to pay for her other expenses, but we do buy some basic food to stock her fridge. If she eats out, it's on her. 

 

Our oldest lived at home during her college years. School was a half hour away but if she wanted to live there she would have had to pay for it. She did have a car because she was commuting. 

 

It all depends on what you can afford and what you WANT to afford. I don't want my kids living high while in college. I don't want them hungry or struggling but I want them to learn to be frugal. I am pleasantly shocked at how thrifty our youngest dd has become this year.  That will serve her well- her chosen line of work probably won't pay a lot. 

 

You're smart to set the expectations now...there is no right or wrong, just what YOU feel comfortable with. 

 

[Chris in VA]

We paid 3/4 of room/board and tuition, and he paid the rest, until the last part of school when he couldn't work in the summers b/c of the schedule (shooting production time for cinema at his school--12-15 hour days).

 

He worked before going to school and in the summers with the above exception.

 

I think it's common to send a few bucks now and then--even $10 is nice to get in the mail or in a package of goodies. Grandparents are usually good for a few dollars, too...lol--College Survival 101. ;-)

 

It's different for different families.

 

I also think living on campus is its own education, and I would  generally encourage it even if the school was in commuting distance (depending, of course, on finances and the individual kiddo).

[Farrar]

Good grief, if that's what's expected these days, then I'm not looking forward to it.  Thank goodness I have plenty of time.  My parents gave me no money above and beyond paying for room and board (and Christmas/birthday type money).  Everything else - extra food and snacks, transport, clothes, books, social expenses, everything - was on me.

[cjzimmer1]

My parents let me use their car (in months where the snow wasn't too bad - so not November-February) and paid for my gas (I filled it when it needed and would tell them how much it was and they gave me the money back (I seldom asked for money since it seemed cheesy to me to be asking them to pay for me to run around and do whatever) and obviously they paid insurance, repair costs etc.  I paid my tuition, books, snack money, personal expenses.  The only other thing they did was buy some snacks I could take back to school with me, things like pop tarts, ramen noodles, and nutrigrain bars (I bought my own soda).  Basically the food was stuff they could buy in bulk at Sam's at cheaper prices than I could buy myself at the store. 

 

If a student has a job, I would hep with car expenses, probably books or tutition.  That way I could preplan my contribution and budget accordingly.  I would not be paying for daily expenses, that is what their job income is for.

[Ottakee]

If you agree to him living on campus I would not include the car thing unless he has a lot of off campus commitments or a job he must get to.  I would pay for the basic meal plans and then any recreational money would come from his own work/savings, etc.

 

I am pretty hard nosed.  When I went to college I made my own way (scholarships and financial aid) but worked 2 different part time jobs and full time in the summer.  I did have a car BUT I had bought and paid for the car with my own money, paid my own gas, paid my own insurance, paid my own repair bills, etc.  I also bought all of my own HBA stuff, clothing, shoes, etc.  Basically I was on my own financially by then.  I really think that it made me more responsible than my dorm mates who had lots of stuff paid for them.  I needed to study to keep my scholarships and financial aid.  I needed to budget my time wisely as I had 2 jobs to work at.  I needed to manage my money as what I had was all I had.

[bettyandbob]

You can handle money for incidentals in a variety of ways.  One of my friends pays for dorm, books, tuition and fees, and a meal plan. She pays for everything except incidentals. Her dc are expected to work summers and pay for whatever they are doing socially, extracurricularly. I have other friends who give their dc a set amount. The dc is supposed to budget to make the money last the semester—IOW send out for too much pizza you might not be able to do laundry at the end of the semester. 

 

 

The rest of this is about having a car--feel free to ignore.

 

Why does your ds need a car? You are 30 minutes away , so I assume if he needed something important and couldn’t get to it with public transit you could work with him to schedule the errand/appointment and help him get there.

 

Through the campus tours I’ve been on recently, I have learned that schools have made it incredibly easy for students to get around campus and town without a car. It’s a lot better than 30 years ago.  There is no reason to have a car at most of the schools dd and I have visited, even if the student has a job or internship in town.  Additionally, student tour guides have suggested that having a car is a real hassle because 1) tickets in campus parking are expensive and easy to get and 2) everyone in your dorm will be asking for a ride to Walmart, even though the campus bus goes there every 30 minutes.

 

I do know someone who took a car this year to a campus where having one is completely unnecessary.  Her father has stage IV cancer and the car was specifically for her to come home on a moment’s notice.

 

Typically, I would think you would only take a car to campus unless you had a job or internship that was not accessible by campus transit either for distance or hours. I wouldn’t see a need to get a car until the job or internship materializes.

 

Not having a car on campus will save gas money, parking fees (and probably parking tickets). You might also want to check with your insurance about having the car on campus. 

[Dandelion]

I had a full-time job all the way through college (undergrad and grad school), and paid my own expenses.  I took out student loans and paid them all off on my own (took me until my mid-30's to do so). My mom (single mom - dad was out of the picture) didn't pay for anything, nor did I expect her to.  DH's parents didn't pay for any of his college expenses either.

 

We're saving up money to help our kids with college, but that will be for tuition, room/board, and books.  My current thinking is that they will need to get jobs to pay for anything beyond that. 

[Amy in NH]

If my kid was going to school 1/2 hour from home he would be living at home to save money on room and board (like I did) or paying for the room and board himself.

[speedmom4]

Our daughter is currently a college freshman. She lives on campus. We pay her tuition, room, and board. We also pay for any school related expenses. We buy all her books and supplies. We bought her a computer. We have also paid for thigs like a robe she needed for chorus. She is responsible for her fun money. She saved money this summer and she has a small part time job. She is looking into opportunities next year to make money like being an RA.

 

I am also a big budgeter and we have three other children at home. We were clear about what we would take care of financially and what she would need to be responsible for.

 

Good luck!

 

Elise in NC

[Violet Crown]

Great Girl lives at home and has no car. She takes her bike or bus where she needs to go, or I drive her if necessary.

 

She works during the semesters and the summers, but her work is always research or TAing that's expected of the kids in her degree program and pays little; what she does earn, she puts mostly toward tuition. Her books are crazy expensive and we pay for them as well as for the greater part of her tuition. She eats at home and brown-bags it for lunch. (I will confess that I pack her lunch for her, just because I like to.)

 

She went to college two years early, so her situation has felt a little different, since she hasn't been a legal adult.

[Pawz4me]

I think how you handle it is totally up to you.  I guess a lot depends on family culture, and I don't think there is any right or wrong way to handle it.

 

We will be covering all of DS's reasonable expenses (including the odd pizza here and there ;)).  He's had a debit card for years, so we'll just put money into his account.  Or maybe onto the school card spending thingie most of them have.  We haven't really decided yet about limits per month or anything like that.

 

All of the schools he's applied to are within a three-hour drive.  He will very likely be taking a car with him, even if he goes to large state U where freshman can't park on campus and we have to pay for private parking somewhere.

 

Those things are considered normal within our family culture.  They won't put a strain on our budget.

 

DS has a good head on his shoulders and has a very good understanding of what we consider reasonable expenses and he won't take advantage. 'Cause that's just the way he is.

[JustEm]

For the first semester freshman year I lived on campus with a floor of people in the same major as me for the experience and to meet new people.  After that I lived at home.  My house was a 5 to 10 minute walk to many of my classes. My parents paid for me to live in the dorm for a year because my tuition was free and they thought the program offered(living with your major) was worth it.  They only paid the dorm fee, textbooks, and the required meal plan card.  Everything else I was responsible for.  The next 3 years I lived at home and they only paid for textbooks and partially paid for a study abroad I did one semester.  

 

This was the route I'll be going with my children.  The goal is for dh or myself to be working at the same university I went to in order to get free tuition for my kids. If that doesn't work we will likely pay for their tuition and make them responsible for everything else.

[Susan C.]

Both dc attend/attended the local university. Both are at home. Oldest had a scholarship that covered most of his expenses, so we payed the balance and bought books. Every semester, I had him show me the bill and ask us if we could pay it, if not, he would have taken out loans. Luckily we were able to pay the balance. We also provided either use of a car, or a ride to school (we don't have public transit). We are middle class, and neither kid would even think to ask for regular money for activities. I am willing to make food for them to have a few friends over, and buy an occasional movie ticket. Youngest got two scholarships that cover almost everything. We provide again, either a car, or a ride. We also pay for medical and car insurance, and a basic cell phone, and "living expenses" (toiletries, food, clothes, etc.). Since they both work/worked very hard, and kept the scholarships with good grades, we didn't require summer jobs, although both earn/earned a little doing odd jobs. Oldest went to summer classes as well.

 

The only downfall to living 30 minutes away (you) or 15 minutes away (us) is when they pull all nighters..... that is an automatic ride to school for us. I don't like them (or us) driving while severely sleep deprived.

[Joyofsixreboot]

He works and covers gas, entertainment, etc. we help with books and tuition. He commutes. That held for dd#1 and the same will go for #3 next year.

[Wildcat]

I think how you handle it is totally up to you.  I guess a lot depends on family culture, and I don't think there is any right or wrong way to handle it.

 

We will be covering all of DS's reasonable expenses (including the odd pizza here and there ;)).  He's had a debit card for years, so we'll just put money into his account.  Or maybe onto the school card spending thingie most of them have.  We haven't really decided yet about limits per month or anything like that.

 

All of the schools he's applied to are within a three-hour drive.  He will very likely be taking a car with him, even if he goes to large state U where freshman can't park on campus and we have to pay for private parking somewhere.

 

Those things are considered normal within our family culture.  They won't put a strain on our budget.

 

DS has a good head on his shoulders and has a very good understanding of what we consider reasonable expenses and he won't take advantage. 'Cause that's just the way he is.

 

This is us. The part I bolded describes our ds, too. 

 

We give ds a small amount of money each month and he uses that to buy toothpaste, tp, carrots, coffee, etc. I have no idea if we give him enough, but he doesn't ask for more. We buy books & the web access things where needed. He has a car and we pay for insurance and gas (he is 4 hours away). He has a pre-paid cell that we pay for at a cost of $30 a month.

 

Any expenses over the amount we give him come out of his savings. He worked over the summer and had a nice account already due to saving birthday money, etc. 

 

I have no idea if he has a budget, or if he just 'eyeballs' his spending. We are one semester 'out' and he has done well. I ask if we are sending enough to cover expenses, but he says not to worry about it. He hasn't dug into his savings too much, so I think he's managing well.

 

We are able to provide these things for him, and are happy to do so. He worked hard to get scholarships, so we are happy to help make him 'comfy' by adding creature comforts.

 

We told ds it's a work in progress and can/will tweak if/when needed. Our dd will be a high school senior next year, so she'll have college costs in the near future. Ds is well aware that things may change at that time.

 

OP, the thing that helped us decide on our course of action was threads like this one. We took 'nuggets' of info and decided what we would/would not provide. There is no right or wrong way to handle it, so don't stress too much. Decide what you think is reasonable and go from there. I would suggest flexibility in case changes are needed once you see how things go.

[ChristineP]

My dd is about 40 minutes away.  She has a car (ours that we bought used (safe but bare bones with roll up windows and no cruise)for her to use and probably her sisters someday).  She has a checking account with graduation money in it.  She uses it as her safety net and is saving it for use for extras when she travels abroad. We put a set amount in her account every month to pay for basics.  It is not generous but she is budget conscious.  She has a full tuition scholarship and we told her we would pay for her room and board so she could graduate debt free with her undergraduate.  So far it is working well.  It helps that she is very frugal :) 

[Joker]

My in-laws dropped dh off at college, handed him $20, and that was it. Seriously.

 

My parents helped out with groceries occasionally and paid our car payment and insurance as long as we were in school.

 

Dh and I plan on doing it more like my parents, but we won't be putting money on any debit card for them with any regularity. They will be expected to work part time for their spending money, but we do plan on helping out here and there when we can. They won't be depending on it or expecting it regularly, though.

[momma2three]

My parents paid for everything, plus a generous allowance.  I also got their car, but that was only because they moved out of the country. 

 

No matter what you do, there will be parents who give their kids more than you do, and parents who give their kids less than you do.  It's just one of those "life's not fair, time to move on" things that kids need to learn to deal with.  I'm sure he'll survive with whatever you work out.  I wouldn't base it on what "everyone else" is doing, but just on what you can afford.

[Muttichen]

We pay tuition, room and board.  The kids are responsible for books, cell phone, travel back and forth, and spending money.  So far, none of them have had cars, but ds 19 is talking about buying one.  If he does, the expenses, insurance, etc. will be his responsibility.  He has had a great job the last couple of summers and the same thing lined up for this year, so he has plenty in savings.

 

They like handling their own money because it gives them the freedom to make their own decisions without us looking over their shoulders. They do each have a checking account with a local bank, so we can easily deposit money if they have an emergency.

[Jenny in Florida]

When my daughter was away at school, we told her how much she could expect us to deposit in her account each week. Because she had trouble eating in the college's cafeteria, we gave her enough to buy a certain amount of groceries each week and cover basic supplies like paper and pens and toiletries and such. If she budgeted carefully and chose to set aside enough for ordering Chinese food with friends or going to a movie, she was more than welcome to do so.

 

I anticipate we'll do something similar with our son, except that, since he will actually be old enough to have a part-time job and is looking seriously only at colleges with a decent vegetarian/vegan selection in the cafeteria, we might be able to get away with a smaller weekly budget.

 

Edit: We also kept our daughter and will keep our son on our cell phone plan, because it's more cost efficient than paying for several phones separately. Keeping a car wasn't an issue for our daughter, because of her age. My son is making noises about wanting a vehicle, but he doesn't even have his license yet. So, it's a moot point thus far. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess.

[dirty ethel rackham]

We pay the balance of ds20's tuition (he has a significant scholarship) and we pay his room and board.  We also put some money on his meal card for supplemental meals since he is on a 14 meal/week plan.  All other expenses are his.  He has saved money from summer jobs and graduation presents.  He pays for books, entertainment and incidentals.  We pay his cell phone bill since he is on our plan - cheaper that way.  We do help him out with clothing/shoes.  Ds is pretty frugal with his money and ours. 

 

ETA:  My son does not have a car for the school year as he doesn't need it.  He does have a car on campus during his summer research job since bus transportation is non-existent during the summer. 

[Pineapple]

Our daughter is a freshmen at a local university.  We pay her tuition, board, meal plan, books, any school related expenses. She is also in a sorority and we pay that as well. We only live 45 minutes away, but still feel that living on campus is a better option for our family. We pay the car payment, insurance, her cell phone bill, and give her $120 per month for expenses. She has a part-time job and contributes to her sorority costs. This is what our family chooses to do. If our situation were financially different or if at anytime in the future that changes then so will our contributions. She is a great well rounded girl and would never expect anything and is very thankful for what we can do. We have a son who will go to college next, but we still have 2.5 years before that comes.

 

Edited to add that she does recieve some scholarship money to help with costs.

[LMV]

Our situation is a little different:

-Our oldest daughter is D1 athlete so her athletic scholarship is paying for tuition, fees, and room and board.  I think sometimes that shifts our perspective a bit as she does have this whole untouched college fund (of course if she ends up going to medical school it could certainly be useful).

-Our daughter is attending a university flight distance away from our main home.

-Coincidentally our daughter's uncle (DH's little brother) is doing his residency at the medical center affiliated with the university our daughter is a freshman at.  He and his wife found a great duplex opportunity but weren't quite in the position to buy it outright so he and DH bought the property together with each having access to one unit.  Our family now has somewhere to stay while visiting DD (not always easy with a large family), DBIL and DSIL have a mostly unoccupied unit beside them, and DD has somewhere she can go to if she needs to escape the wonderful dorm but can't quite hop on plane and fly home for Sunday dinner before her Organic midterm.

-While I think everyone does well with a balanced diet and adequate sleep these are non negotiable elements of wellness for our daughter so we are a bit more vested in ensuring that she isn't in a position where other people's actions compromise these elements for her.  For this reason we did ship her car out to her once classes actually started.   (We also had a lot of trust that she would be responsible with this and not abuse the privilege.)

 

Our daughter still has access to the family gas credit card (which can be used for more than gas in emergencies) and we've told her she is free to use that for gas or in some kind of a cash emergency.  She has been very responsible about this.  Additionally she is still covered on our health insurance, has a cell phone through our family plan, and she and her car are on our auto insurance policy.  She also has an associate membership through our family AAA premier for her use.  Otherwise we really haven't given her money but she had some fairly extensive savings of her own prior to starting college and has a joint checking account with DH and I (because this was the only way the bank would let her open it a few years ago).  It also offers us another avenue to get money to her in the event of emergency I suppose. Our daughter was forced to grow up early and DH and I both have moments where that tears at our heart but we also have moments where we're very proud of the amazing young woman she is becoming. 

 

I'm not advocating you make the decisions we made because our situations are different. I think you and your DH should decide what you feel is reasonable for your son and then offer that.  Unless he has a really compelling and valid reason why a different arrangement is necessary I think you are perfectly justified in holding your ground.  Good luck!

 

[GSOchristie]

My parents paid for my tuition, room/apartment, meal card, and car insurance.  They stocked my pantry/toiletries when they came to visit or I went home, about every other month.  I had to pay if I wanted to eat out, clothes, ,y parking pass and gas for my car.  I had a part time job as a server for most of my college career, so I used that money for the things I wanted to do (eating out, trips, clothes).  My school had a book rental program but my parents bought my books if they didn't supply them at the bookstore.  

[Tap]

Ds lives at home, goes to school full-time, works under 10 hours a week but volunteers/interns 15 hours on top of that.  I don't want him working more than that so I pay for a lot of his expenses.  I pay for car, insurance, housing, school lunch which is about $6/day, books, and about $1000 towards tuition (his tuition is $20,000 yr  :svengo: ) He is frugal, so I know that his money is budgeted and spend well.  I have no problem paying for the rest of it.  

 

I watch his actions to make sure he is using our money wisely:

His car is worth about $4,000 but  he has already saved and paid us for $1,000 of it to buy it from us.

He only eats on campus if he is hungry, otherwise he saves the money for another day.  I often offer him money and he says that he has some left. 

I pay for the car, because we live in an area with 4 seasons, and I want to make sure it is maintained well and has seasonally appropriate tires on it.  I want his car and him to be well insured, so I make sure they are. It is only about $70/mth so it is reasonable. 

He borrows books from other people, as much as he buys them, so I know he is keeping his book bill down as much as possible. His book bill has been under $100 per year since he started at this university. 

The last $1000 in tuition is what is left after subsidized loans/scholarships, so I don't want him to worry about working/paying loans during school.  I pay it for him to avoid him working more and interning less.   I make double per hour what he makes so it doesn't take much for me to make a couple thousand to pay his expenses compared to his amount of effort to make the same money.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Liz CA]

However you do it, I think being very clear ahead of time is the key. We used to pay tuition and books while ds paid for apartment share and food. It was his decision to move in with some rommates and we were okay with it even though - just like you described your situation - we were 1/2 hour from campus. It worked surprisingly well. Ds learned how to budget with "real" money and what a utility bill looked like. He had a part-time job and was able to get a clunker for a car. He paid his gasoline and I paid for a while his insurance until he got a raise.

 

Spelling out clearly what for what bills he will be responsible and what you will cover, should get him started. If he finds out, it would be less expensive to live at home, he may come back so wait a little while before repainting his room.  :)

[DawnM]

It really is up to you.  Each individual family will do things differently.   I don't know what we will do when the time comes, but I know we have already told our kids we have X amount of dollars per year for them to go to college.   It will cover living at HOME and commuting to the local 4 year college.  It will even be enough for transportation (family car they can use) and some extras, which I assume could cover lunch with friends a couple of times per week.  Beyond that, they will have to take a sack lunch or pay themselves.

[Carrie12345]

It's been a long time, but "everyday expenses" weren't even discussed in my house before I went off to school.  I had a dorm room, a full meal plan, and packed plenty of clothes and supplies for the semester.

I had saved my own money for books. The trouble there was that I had *no* clue books would be quite as expensive as they were. (We're talking pre-internet explosion.) I had enough, but not much extra.

On-campus jobs had already been filled and there were no real off-campus opportunities for someone without a car.

 

The one thing that was difficult about that was all the late-night pizza ordering.  The choices were to mooch or to leave the crowd. Neither one feels very good.

 

With a car, part time employment should be plenty for the little things like late night pizza.  I still don't see what other "everyday expenses" are really necessary. Knowing how to budget should make it a snap.

[Luckymama]

Everyone is different :)

 

Communication ahead of time is the key. We began telling our kids in ninth grade that we would pay the equivalent of the full cost of attendance at our state flagship university. Any difference between that and the cost of a different school would be on them through scholarships or loans. We talked about how scholarships could be earned (the most money comes from the institution, wisely choose the schools to apply to, take the most challenging classes available in hogh school and do well, blah blah blah). We also talked about what loan repayment means (dh is a Certified Financial Planner---poor kids learned more than they probably wanted to know!).

 

Our kids are pragmatic. They did receive very generous scholarship offers, some that would not require them to take out any loans! The both ultimately chose the state flagship university located within walking/biking distance of our house.

 

We pay for their remaining tuition after scholarships, room and board, fees (not many), and books/supplies. Dd receives $50 per month for incidentals. Ds did as well before he began his on-campus job. Once dd is working we will no longer pay for those incidentals.

 

They do not have cars. They will not until they can pay for them themselves. Anyway, paying to keep a car on campus is very expensive.

[EKS]

My parents expected me to work in the summer to earn money for extras.  Freshman year when I lived in the dorm they paid for the dorm room and a meal plan.  I'm pretty sure that was it.  The rest of the years when I lived off campus, they gave me a certain amount each month for rent, utilities, etc, and food, but it was a tight amount.

 

I've told my son that like my parents did for me, we will pay for tuition, books, the dorm, and the meal plan, and beyond that, he's on his own.

[Haiku]

We give dd a set amount every month. How she spends it is her deal. The amount won't change, as it's what we can afford. If she needs it for tuition, she'd best spend it on that. If she blows it on other stuff, she won't be getting more.

[Jane in NC]

Family culture really does enter into this.

 

My son began college with a handsome nest egg that came about from a small inheritance as well as investments made from all of those birthday/holiday gifts starting from birth.  Additionally, he deposited money earned from yard work for the neighbors, part time jobs, 4-H awards, etc. 

 

He uses these funds for books and entertainment; he also covered the expense of a summer field school in England.

 

The college or university your student attends will also play into this decision.  My son is attending a residential LAC with a mandatory meal plan.  His plan includes college dollars that can be used at the coffee shop, the store that sells toiletries, etc. Some of his friends use these dollars quickly on fancy coffee drinks--he does not. 

 

Additionally, my son does not pay to do his laundry or for printing.  This is atypical.

 

 

[QueenCat]

There are a lot of different ways to approach this....... One thing to consider.... At ds' campus, about 50% of students who want an on-campus job get one. Just not enough available. There are some jobs in the community, but again, not enough for all the students that want one. For this campus, that is because we live in an area where "real" adults take those service related jobs and work them for years, not just while in school. Employers prefer hiring them since they'll stick around, not want winter and spring break and summers off, etc.In other words, do not assume your son will be able to get a job right away. It may take a while.

[FaithManor]

With dd, she was a commuter. Part of the time she was with my aunt near campus - U of M in Ann Arbor - and part of the time she was at home (about a two hour drive). So since she had enough scholarships to pay for tuition, we paid for books, supplies, and the gas for her car. She was a practical kid and never took advantage. When she decided to go to paramedic school, we paid cash for that and again provided driving expenses. We deposited money in her checkbook here for her expenses, and she used her debit card. She was so good with money and such a delightful young adult, that it was not uncommon for us to splurge for some nice clothes for her and such. When she was hired as a medic, her uniforms were expensive. She wanted to take it out of her fledgling savings account, and dh said, "NO WAY!" pulled out his debit card and told her to get what she needed.

 

The ds's are shaping up to have a similar attitude, so we probably wont' have much angst in this department. The eldest boy, the pizza addict, knows he'll need to budget wisely or he will not be having the pizza nights he hopes will occur during those years. LOL...there is a Dominos pizza within walking distance of his first choice school. Now, if he'd just STOP running loads of his laundry without detergent. "Good gravy boy! You have an "A" in pre-calc, physics, and German, but you can't remember detergent??????" :toetap05:  :toetap05:  :toetap05:

[fairfarmhand]

WRT to cars, my dh found that parking was SO awful on campus that most weeks when he lived on campus, he never moved his car until he was ready to come home for the weekend.

[Wheres Toto]

Definitely double check and make sure he is even allowed to have a car on campus as a freshman.  Many schools don't allow it.

 

My oldest is at a state school that is technically commutable (with lousy traffic and dangerous areas but technically).  The school id is also their room key and meal plan debit card.  Her school offers different meal plan options - some are "swipes" where one swipe allows unlimited food for one visit to the school cafeterias, then there are "flex" dollars that can be used at the cafeterias or some other meal places on campus - Dunkin Donuts, a diner, I think the bookstore as well, and then there are dollars named for the school team that can be used at all those places on campus but also a few restaurants and stores in the area around the school (an Applebees, a Chilis and a few others).  This year she has a meal plan that includes all three kinds of "money".  So, that offers her some options for eating out with friends and picking up supplies.

 

She also has a part-time job that she is allowed to keep 20% of her paychecks (the other 80% is paying for her room and board).  If she needs "essentials", she sends me a text message and I usually tell her to go ahead and pick them up at work (she's works at Target).  If there's something non-essential, she'll ask and I may or may not let her get it depending on how much money is available and if it's something she should use her 20% for.  Her and I have a joint checking account that her checks are direct deposited in so I can see what money she is spending.

 

She has to have her car because of her job.  On campus jobs can be hard to get and often go to students who qualify for work study.

[Laura Corin]

If Calvin goes to Oxford, he won't have time for a part time job during term time: the terms are really intense and only eight weeks long.  He's going to take out a loan, so we will talk through in advance how much he will need per week, and have that transferred into his current account periodically.  It will all be negotiated between us.  He's not used to the high life and I hope that he will be sensible.  He's a saver by nature.  He won't have a car, but most students don't here.

 

L

[G5052]

However you do it, I think being very clear ahead of time is the key. We used to pay tuition and books while ds paid for apartment share and food. It was his decision to move in with some rommates and we were okay with it even though - just like you described your situation - we were 1/2 hour from campus. It worked surprisingly well. Ds learned how to budget with "real" money and what a utility bill looked like. He had a part-time job and was able to get a clunker for a car. He paid his gasoline and I paid for a while his insurance until he got a raise.

 

Spelling out clearly what for what bills he will be responsible and what you will cover, should get him started. If he finds out, it would be less expensive to live at home, he may come back so wait a little while before repainting his room.  :)

 

We've told ours that we will pay the college a set amount each year for tuition and fees.  We will also buy a clunker if they need one, and the first year of insurance.  Books, gas, and if they want to live there are their responsibility.  We can swing tuition and fees at the local community college and two state commuter schools, but no more.  Otherwise it has to be scholarships and/or work.

 

We just don't have the $ for any more than that, period.  I know how much the budget can flex, and it doesn't flex far at all.  I really would like for them to avoid loans if at all possible, but we'll see.

[DianeW88]

Both of my kids have full rides, so their tuition and expenses are paid for.  Everything else, they pay for themselves.  We still cover insurance and cell phones.  My dd is now married and is a professional ballerina, as well as a student, so her salary covers most of their living expenses.  Her dh works in the evenings.

 

My oldest son still lives at home, but will be transferring to another campus next year.  He has worked and saved his money to cover any expenses not covered by his scholarship.

[Seasider]

We asked our son to come up with a list of anticipated monthly expenses after his first month in school. Based on that, we started giving him a monthly allowance. It was not much, less than $40. It covered things like laundry expense and dorm snacks for weekend eating. He lives on campus and the first year had an all-access meal plan. If he needs anything for health reasons (medicines or preventatives), he just calls and we send money for that as well.

 

After freshman year, he got a job and covers those things on his own. He had no car the first year. He has one now, but again at his own expense. We simply cannot afford to give him any more money!

[Trish]

As a college student my spending money came from an on-campus job, plus whatever I earned from my summer job. (that was leftover after paying for books)

 

I wouldn't have thought to ask my parents for spending money.

 

Pretty much if you have a meal plan, anything else would be frivolous spending.

[Rebel Yell]

DIamond lives at home and commutes to community college.

 

We pay for...  ummmm...  nothing. Well, we don't charge room/board. If she packs lunch/dinner she can choose from our groceries and also make requests for groceries to be purchased. If she wants to buy lunch/dinner with friends she pays.

 

We pay for the car- and some days I have to drive because it is needed for sibling's activities. If she spends the weekend out driving around for fun (not work/school) she fills the gas tank.

 

She pays for school, receives federal aid and work-study hours, plus has a part-time job. We buy books as cheap as we can, used/previous editions- only paid $16.69 for this semester's books! She also pays for her own dance classes. She buys most of her clothes, but I still buy basic necessities such as undies, and I'll occasionally pick up a shirt or something if I spot a great deal. We also add basic grooming items to the grocery list, but make-up & stuff like that she buys.

 

She has her own checking account with a debit card, and a savings account. It is set up so that we can transfer money to her account for emergencies.

 

Most of the time, I also pay the co-pay for doctor's appointments and medical needs (such as a writst brace). My rule is: We pay for your health insurance, so eating vegetables is mandatory. :laugh: