Has anyone ever had their mind changed or opened up to a different point of view from reading another's post on a thread?

[Donna]

I don't post an awful lot but read many, many threads where there are people with completely opposite views arguing their points back and forth. I was wondering if anyone has even been swayed to another's point of view or been opened to accepting a point a view as valid even if they don't agree? I don't mean if you were open to other points of view in the first place...but has anyone's post ever really swayed you to think differently than you thought before reading it?

[Melissa in Australia]

I have accepted that another point of view is valid even though I don't agree with it.

 I have also had light bulb moments where my own views have become clearer

[ThisIsTheDay]

Yes. Because of a thread here, my opinion flipped completely re legislation in my state to allow homeschoolers to play in public school sports.

 

And who can count the number of times someone's view has been opened/expanded due to what was read here?  Whether it involved seeing another side of an issue, or being able to better understand, I think that's part of what makes these boards such a success.

 

 

-----------------

(What I really want to know is why has my avatar disappeared yet again???!!)

 

[mom@shiloh]

Absolutely.  I've had several, "Hmm, I never thought of it that way."  moments on here.  That's one of the reasons that I'm here.  IRL it would be very difficult to engage, or listen in on, the types of discussion that go on around here.  The logistics of gathering this diverse a group of people in a "real" space just aren't practical, so I'm thankful for these forums.  It's also easier to come to the conclusion that my opinion was wrong in private, rather than having it happen in public.  

[Parrothead]

Sure.

[Onceuponatime]

Not necessarily any one post, but cumulative posts over time have changed my mind about certain things. In fact, coming here for many years (off and on since the original boards) has seriously changed my views on many important topics. I see now that my view of the world, in spite of my willingness to learn, was very narrow and confining. The diversity of opinion here made me question and re-evaluate my own treasured opinions. I am much less sure I am absolutely right about anything.

[Laura Corin]

Over time I've come to a better understanding of just how precarious some people's lives are, due to a combination of work conditions and health insurance issues.  It's allowed me to be a bit more sympathetic about some attitudes and choices that I didn't appreciate before.

 

Many other issues too, but this was the one I noticed most.

 

L

[creekland]

Same as the others.  I cherish these boards for the ability to glean from the experiences and thoughts of its many members both for homeschooling "stuff" and life.

 

I often disagree with many, but I learn more about their point of view and feel stronger because I know it.  I've never felt I had to block anyone or not be able to read their posts simply because we disagree about something.

 

Some of the topics get "old" for those of us who have been here for many moons, but I can just skip those and let the newer folks do their gleaning.

 

I can't imagine not being able to learn from so many others - esp when I hit a new (to me) topic.  It's what's kept me around even though my homeschooling days ended when middle son graduated and went to college.  The day one stops being willing to learn is the day one dies IMO.

[5of5]

Yes.

 

Also, note that even if the main “combatants†don’t appear convinced by each other’s arguments, the arguments may be reaching many lurkers. I once read a very articulate debater who said that they were arguing primarily for those who were NOT participating in the thread.

[TracyP]

Yep.

[Mommyfaithe]

Yes. I have had my mind changed by some who I have shared a similar point of view as well, because of their apparent bull-headedness....that always turns me off and makes me ponder other views....and sometimes convinces me I was wrong to begin with....

[Pawz4me]

Absolutely.

[JuanitaL]

Absolutely. It's not usually one moment, but sometimes a poster's comments provoke me to read up on a certain view, and this eventually leads me to come to agree or at least understand and respect the opinion. 

 

Agreed. I usually have numerous tabs open to things I've rabbit-trailed to while reading threads.

Absolutely.  I've had several, "Hmm, I never thought of it that way."  moments on here.  That's one of the reasons that I'm here.  IRL it would be very difficult to engage, or listen in on, the types of discussion that go on around here.  The logistics of gathering this diverse a group of people in a "real" space just aren't practical, so I'm thankful for these forums.  It's also easier to come to the conclusion that my opinion was wrong in private, rather than having it happen in public.  

Additionally - it's difficult to explore/engage in different views if the IRL person believes every opposing point or question is an attack - doesn't leave much room for a discussion.

 

Not necessarily any one post, but cumulative posts over time have changed my mind about certain things. In fact, coming here for many years (off and on since the original boards) has seriously changed my views on many important topics. I see now that my view of the world, in spite of my willingness to learn, was very narrow and confining. The diversity of opinion here made me question and re-evaluate my own treasured opinions. I am much less sure I am absolutely right about anything.

 

All of this.

 

[Jane in NC]

One of the things that I have realized is that while it sometimes appears on the surface that I have an opposite point of view from someone else, when we work through the issues I discover that our points of view have more in common than I think.

 

Life is rarely reduced to two sides, this or that.  When we have true discussions, we realize the complexity, see the facets of an issue.

 

 

[ElaineJ]

Yes, but not by the (very occasional) name calling sessions that take place, though. For me, I have often had my world expanded by just hearing other people's experiences as well as their well reasoned arguments. This board gives me the opportunity to "meet" a wider diversity of people than my introverted self knows in real life, and that has necessarily enlarged my understanding of certain positions. I appreciate that.

Elaine

[Aura]

Big time. This board has been amazing for me.

[sunflowerlady]

Yes.

[Above The Rowan]

Absolutely. 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

I have my mind expanded on a regular basis by this board.  There are things that I never, ever even thought about that I am now thinking about.  There are things that I absolutely only thought of one way and now see with a lot fuller understanding.  Just this summer there was a thread that actually turned my thinking around on one particular educational practice by 180 degrees.  I don't like it when things spiral into nastiness at all, but thankfully most of the time people don't get so hot-headed and are willing to listen or at least accept that others have a different view.  It isn't like you HAVE to stay engaged in a thread you don't like.  You can always just stop responding and move on.

 

I love how much I have learned here.  The Learning Challenges Board has done so much to give me concrete advice on ways to help my bright kids with learning issues.  I LOVE hearing from others in other states and countries about their experiences and beliefs and issues.   There is such a diverse culture here, so much to learn.  And I love that if anyone needs a hug or a prayer or a word of encouragement, so many are willing to provide that.

 

And, yes, I love that some of my views have been completely changed by some of the posts on this site.  I am a more well-rounded person for the experience...

[elegantlion]

Yes

[Scarlett]

Yes.

 

I also think that many people read along and never say a word....so who knows how our words may affect others. It is not always easy to voice a belief when it goes against current society's viewpoint.

 

There are a few snarky hateful posters especially when the topic hits close to home for them. Overall though the board stays respectful-publically--in private who knows what they are saying. I have learned a lot about how to respectfully express my thoughts and beliefs. I have also learned that no matter how respectfully you voice a belief there will be some people enraged by it.

[Hikin' Mama]

Yes. There are several posters here with whom I disagree on different issues, but who I feel are very wise people. I read all their posts. I love this board! It is great to see things from a different perspective and there are so many here! There has only been one poster ever who really rubbed me the wrong way (with attitude, not opinions), but I don't think said poster is here anymore.

[thessa516]

All. the. time! I mostly lurk, so I greatly appreciate the posters who debate with logic.

[HRAAB]

Absolutely.  My thinking and understanding have become broader, and even if I don't change my position, I have grasped a better understanding of the opposing view.  It really helps me to 'walk in another's shoes', and I believe that helps me become a more compassionate person.

[emzhengjiu]

None of my core values have been changed, but I love how my understanding of different viewpoints has expanded.  It's fascinating to understand how others think.  Some issues surprise me because of the intensity of feelings that are expressed; Shoes on / shoes off in the house comes to mind.  I'm, also, amazed at how often I learn something completely new to me on this board.

[bolt.]

Yep.

 

But I learn most as a "bystander" -- if I'm into an adversarial space, feeling defensive about my own idea, it's hard to be a good learner (at least in the moment). I learn and shift around plenty in cases where I feel less cornered. Also, I find benefit in the ways that others guide me to explore the nuances and implications of my thoughts (through curiosity).

[goldberry]

Absolutely.  I've had several, "Hmm, I never thought of it that way."  moments on here.  That's one of the reasons that I'm here.  IRL it would be very difficult to engage, or listen in on, the types of discussion that go on around here.  The logistics of gathering this diverse a group of people in a "real" space just aren't practical, so I'm thankful for these forums.

 

yes, yes, yes

[Hannah]

People sharing their faith journeys have helped me work through and think about my own beliefs.   There are few people IRL with whom I could have had discussions - or whose conversations I could have listened into.

 

My post count probably does not reflect the amount of time I spend here.  I've been reading the boards almost daily since near the beginning (almost 12 years).  For a long time I didn't have the courage to post.  I still type many posts that I delete, but some do make it to submit.

[unsinkable]

I've learned a lot here, especially about family relationships.

 

I changed my mind about bringing dressing along with salad to a family get- together. :-)

 

I haven't and won't change my mind about my belief in God and being a Catholic. I definitely wouldn't based on posts here. I find the implication that those who followed a formal, mainstream religion are not intelligent, reasonable or logical to be extremely off-putting and distasteful.

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

Yes, indeed.

[Joanne]

Yes, in combination with other formative factors.

[AK_Mom4]

Yes.... and not just in the epic Cupcake Thread!

 

I hang out on the high school board quite a bit and have had quite a few of my views on high schooling changed by some of the more experienced posters over there.  Thanks!

[Scarlett]

I've learned a lot here, especially about family relationships.

 

I changed my mind about bringing dressing along with salad to a family get- together. :-)

 

I haven't and won't change my mind about my belief in God and being a Catholic. I definitely wouldn't based on posts here. I find the implication that those who followed a formal, mainstream religion are not intelligent, reasonable or logical to be extremely off-putting and distasteful.

This is similar to me. I have learned a lot about different personality types and even a lot about myself.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Absolutely.  I am embarrassed to say I used to be a lot more judgmental.   This board has softened me considerably.  I am a conservative Christian, yet some of my favorite posters identify with religions that are much different than mine.  Some are even atheists. 

[Word Nerd]

Yes, I have, and I think discussing different points of view is beneficial overall. However, I also believe the Backfire Effect still plays a part in contentious discussions.

[I.Dup.]

Absolutely.  I've had several, "Hmm, I never thought of it that way."  moments on here.  That's one of the reasons that I'm here.  IRL it would be very difficult to engage, or listen in on, the types of discussion that go on around here.  The logistics of gathering this diverse a group of people in a "real" space just aren't practical, so I'm thankful for these forums.  It's also easier to come to the conclusion that my opinion was wrong in private, rather than having it happen in public.  

 

Yes! That's why I'm here, too. This place helps me realize just how much I still don't know. :)

[Guest]

Absolutely. It's not usually one moment, but sometimes a poster's comments provoke me to read up on a certain view, and this eventually leads me to come to agree or at least understand and respect the opinion. 

 

Yes, this. I do remember one specific thread (it wasn't on this board, though) that I went into specifically to argue X, but one of the posters turned the bulb on for me. It was truly a light-bulb moment. I went, "Wow. That makes a whole lot of sense and now my opinion looks very stupid." I totally changed the way I approached a particular parenting thing because of that one poster.

 

More often, the cumulative tide of what posters say about something forms my opinion or confirms what I already believed. 

[SKL]

Not at that moment, unless someone provides an actual, verifiable fact that I did not know before.

 

But it's good to hear other people's honest, respectful opinions.  Over time it probably does make a difference in our outlooks.  Of course if it is couched in rudeness / ridicule / sarcasm, the quality of the content (if any) is surely lost.

[Dandelion]

Yes.  

 

While I haven't changed my views on the issues that are most important to me, I've become much more open to considering opposing viewpoints.  In many cases, I have a new understanding and appreciation for views that are vastly different from mine.  Generally speaking, I think this has "softened the edges" on some of my more strongly held positions.

 

I love a good debate.  It's much more difficult to have those IRL.  I appreciate that this board provides a forum for that, and I especially appreciate and respect those posters who are able to share their views respectfully and stay calm even as discussions heat up.  Those are the people I learn from. There are some very wise people on this board whose posts I seek out, even if I know from previous posts that they hold very different views from mine.  But I want to hear what they have to say - in large part because of *how* they say it (free of personal attacks and snark).  Thank you to those that take the time to "hang in" during the more heated and difficult discussions.

[milovany]

Yes.  We left our church tradition of 23 and 45 years (me and my husband) for one completely foreign to us largely in part because the influence of one particular person on this board who shared her faith in a quiet, convicted, non-judgmental way. She didn't even really share her faith with words as far as I recall -- I just somehow knew she was Orthodox.  It felt like a different world to us, a 180 degree turn ~ although some would say going from one Christian tradition to another can't be considered a complete change (we felt differently as it was happening).

[stripe]

About curriculum, I think so!

[KarenNC]

Yes.

[ErinE]

Yes. None of my opinions have changed, but I've gained greater understanding of others'. I also think it's helped me state my views in a more thoughtful manner and clarified my own beliefs.

 

I do wish more posters wouldn't automatically assume negative things about those who hold opposing viewpoints. I'm more likely to discount their arguments, across all discussions.

[Garga]

Yes!  A resounding yes!  

 

When I started on these boards I had a pretty black and white view of the world and was harsh in my judgments though I didn't know it. I am completely different now. I can see so much more grey, and you now what?  I'm ok with that.  I have realized that there is more than one way to skin a cat.  Just because someone does something differently from how I would do it doesn't always make it wrong.  Just different.  

 

Ok--to be clear, yes, some things are different and wrong (crimes, cruelty,etc.) but I've discovered that those are the exceptions and not the rule.

 

I cannot express my gratitude to these boards. They've matured me and softened me.  

[CAMom]

Haven't read the other replies yet...

 

I don't know that I've ever changed my mind but I have learned so many things. I have definitely become more educated and tolerant from reading others' posts. I have learned that I don't always have the "right" opinion or answers and I've learned to listen to others more carefully and to temper my own responses.

 

I think I'm a better person because of it.

[DawnM]

Yes.

 

I now want to make Joanne's Fluffy Mackerel Pudding!

[alef]

I feel like I learn a lot here and yes it does impact the way I view some things. I read more than I post, but I really appreciate the generally thoughtful and polite discussion. 

[Donna]

I think I have had a similar experience to many. I don't tend to get into the contentious topics/arguments but I enjoy reading both sides. I find it helps me clarify my viewpoint and think of things I may not have considered before. I don't know that I have ever done a 180 on any topic or changed a fundamental core belief but I have definitely become more open-minded to other ways of thinking and doing things. I have also learned a lot about homeschooling and different curriculum choices through our journey.

 

I was wondering if others had had similar experiences. I was also thinking about how the ways some argue their point. Those threads that become nasty and personal tend to be a turn-off and make me move on to another thread while others who use logic and reason tend to make me more openminded even if I do not agree with them. 

[albeto.]

Yes. 

[wintermom]

I love the variety of experiences and international flavour represented here. I don't know that my opinions have changed, though I have had a few "A ha" moments when I realized just how different a person's upbringing/culture is to my own when I wasn't expecting it.