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Joanne last won the day on November 26 2015

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About Joanne

  • Birthday 04/15/1966

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  1. And, further, self harm is a coping skill, not suicidal ideation. It's a bad coping skill, but that is the function it offers in the user's life.
  2. I am fully qualified and licensed to diagnose and treat bipolar (and other mental illness). Never over the phone, and usually not in one session. In the overwhelming majority of cases, I recommend a full panel at a PCP, and, if that doesn't turn up something like thyroid, etc, I recommend a Psychiatrist because mental illness is a specialty. If substance abuse is involved, I am even MORE selective about the Psych Dr. I am perfectly able to assist treating bipolar, or anxiety, or depression (I would refer out schizophrenia and OCD) as a part of a team of professionals. The Dr. does their thing, and I do mine.
  3. Thanks for the heads-up, Audrey! I did, indeed, do this. It was HARD. I imagine I'd have to make the same choice in the same situation, but it was hard. Some feedback: It is not as profitable as you might think. The cost of food, toys, cleaning supplies, craft supplies, and wear and tear on the home were significant. I never did go over ratio, but I understand why many do. I had to lower my educational standards; my oldest did some pre-packaged school (it was Lifepacs at that time). This was not the heart I had for homeschooling. While the increased income was good, my kids did not "get" or understand that need. They mostly just saw stress and kids using their stuff. They did not enjoy the other kids; they mostly resented them. Structure and predictability is your friend. As much as it was difficult, I was very good at my daycare. I cared about my families and the kiddos. I separated day-care from my parenting philosophy. This was helpful. You can't attachment parent a daycare and homeschool kids. I had a very structured daycare with the same things in the same order each day. The educational and art/craft stuff changed, of course, but the order of stuff remains. Later, I homeschooled mine and others. This is legal in Texas. I would do that again instead. I would also create and advertise for before and afterschool care instead of daytime daycare. I also eventually provided before and afterschool care for the YMCA but AT local elementary schools. This was better than in my home. I did this twice. The first time, I was allowed to bring my kids.
  4. "The tests" you are talking about are likely the MMBI. Me, my then husband, my ex and his wife all took them during the very spend "forensic psychological assessment." It *did* catch the personality disorder (ex) and my hysteria (PTSD from ex). New relationships after a divorce often function in a re-written history la-la land akin to an addiction. The new "family" begins to posit themselves as a better, healthier home, and a "real family" able to provide everything they insist is missing in the other home. (and an absence of what they say is wrong with the other home.) A better focus might be to get verbiage that excludes continued court proceedings; everything must be mediated, and if that doesn't work, binding arbitration. Less cost, not protracted.
  5. My teens are the owners of their bodies (with the exception of illegal activities while they live in my home or I pay for a majority of their stuff). That includes food, hygiene, intimacy. That, however, is a parenting paradigm. More generally, I'd caution her (or other readers) from reading anything into his character based on this. Technically, I suppose they are lies. But they are lies born in a particular situation, following a known and common parent/child pattern. It suggests nothing accurate about his adult years or character.
  6. If you are not already familiar, you may want to know about this resource: https://www.giveanhour.org/
  7. Some links: http://lundybancroft.com/child-custody-justice/how-family-courts-handle-domestic-abuse-allegations/ http://lundybancroft.com/articles/understanding-the-batterer-in-custody-and-visitation-disputes/ Be aware that she may *appear* hysterical or have PTSD symptoms.
  8. Spend your support and time encouraging her to heal and be educated on the abuse dynamic. Getting OUT doesn't heal; it just means she is physically away from him. Also, it is VERY VERY possible he will do the following: Continue to abuse her through lies, exaggerations, and other manipulations with family and friends. Use the family court system to continue to abuse her. Use social media to try to power and control her by remote. Have her read: Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Abusive and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft and The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. Don't expect family, friends, or the community to believe or support her. They may; but they may not for many complicated reasons. When the abuse is less documented, less overt, the less people believe and the more they pull out the "it takes two" or "everyone has a part" mantra. I feel for your friend. If she can get professional, qualified support that would help a lot. In terms of what to "say," I would go with some form of "She left an unhealthy situation." Lather, rinse, repeat.
  9. I haven't written it yet. :) That said, and this is significant from me: The Cloud and Townsend book is not a turn off for most non Christians. Really. It is GOOD info.
  10. Absolutely. Try suggesting that "we" (in the US) instead of saying a prayer for invocation, we Praise Allah.Or cast a circle. Many of those *in* the Judeo-Christian overculture don't see it. For example, there is no such thing as Judeo-Christian values. Name ONE, beyond believing in Jesus, that is an exclusive Judeo-Christian value. Me? While science is my higher power, I can get behind the principles and disciplines that show up in all major (and the minor I am familiar with) religions. Service, compassion, forgiveness, charity, kindness, peace? And, finally, as someone who would support the activities of the Satan-named club, it ultimately defines itself not on its own merit but forever associated with a Judeo-Christian concept - Satan. Ironic. If you don't believe in a deity, specifically God/Jesus, you don't believe in Satan. It's like me with my tattoo. I wanted one long before it was trendy. But my 1st husband didn't want me to get one, so I didn't. When we divorced, I immediately thought "TATTOO." Fortunately, I realized I didn't want the tattoo associated with the divorce - with him - so I waited. 6 years. LOL. I think that the "Satan" in the name is obnoxious, frankly.
  11. I'm not a fan of church, religion or people in my space. But this wouldn't bother me at all. I vote "nice gesture."
  12. My observations, opinions, and experiences on the topic: No one other than the attornies, mediators, ad litems, and judges benefit from the divorce process. If "God hates divorce," God should hate the marriage that made the divorce an option. "Divorce is not an option" killed my soul. It was a big part of killing my religion. It takes 2 to make a thriving marriage. It only takes one to ruin it. It takes 2 to have a "as healthy as possible" divorce. It only takes one to be a barrier to that. Moving into an intimate and disclosed to the children relationship in the first year(S) after the divorce is not usually a good thing. I used to believe "where there is smoke, there is fire." I don't anymore. In the family law system, one party can make something out of - literally - nothing. Protracted family law battles can have negative influence for decades. I'm giving mine a decade for each $10k it costs. I will die before it is paid. The "hard" of my life post (1st) divorce is STILL BETTER than the hell of that marriage. I do wish differently for my kids. Hopefully I can save enough to pay for their therapy.
  13. Sure and I would be happy to "talk" with them Via PM also. I love my job. But I encourage new students to be informed.
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