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About Aura

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    Hive Mind Level 2 Worker: Nurse Bee

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  1. I don't think I ever really learned how to bf properly, cause I always had sore nipples. I tried going to a lactation consultant with #3. She gave me this clear silicone nipple shield that protected my nipples while baby nursed. Eliminated soooo much pain! I had issues all the way through dc#6, but with that little shield, I was able to keep nursing despite sore nipples, and it helped to protect from bites! All my kids had teeth by 3-4 mos. And #4 was a biter. That little shield was such a lifesaver with her! If your baby prefers bottles, I wonder if one of these silicone shields may make it feel more like a bottle nipple to him? Maybe help make transitions between bottle and breast easier, with or without the Lact-Aid? It's one more thing you have to juggle, but if you're really wanting to continue bf it might be worth a shot. This is what I'm talking about, though I found a pack at Target (way back when). Edited to add: I see a nipple shield has already been suggested multiple times! Should've read the whole thread first, sorry!
  2. Can I be a bad judge of character by proxy? Generally, my gut has never failed me. I can't think of a time when my instinct said "stay away" or "avoid this person" where it was wrong. And left to myself, I will follow it. BUT if I trust someone else, and that someone then trusts another, I'm very likely to trust the other even if my gut says don't. That's happened more than I care to recall (though I've been doing much better in recent years!).
  3. Like you, I grew up never dressing up for Halloween. I'm still trying to figure it out. *sigh* So this thread has been interesting. I tried to go the homemade, thrifty route, but I'm rather creative and a perfectionist, and I swear we ended up spending more than if we'd bought actual costumes. I tried doing a thing where they either bought a cheap costume or had to come up with a costume that mainly used actual pieces of clothing they would need anyway. This was mainly to satisfy dd as she got older who wanted more cosplay than costume. It still works well for her. She's done Regina from OUAT, Scarlet Witch (she got a sweet [fake] red leather jacket out of that one, which was a bit big then but fits perfectly now!), and Daisy (Agents of Shield) and got some nice new articles of clothing that she got a lot of everyday use out of. This year, I have four that will dress up, ages 9-15. The oldest doesn't want to go trick-or-treating, but he wants to dress up to hand out candy. I told the kids $50 each. That's it. It's more than I'd like to spend, but I have yet to figure out how to come out cheaper! At this point, they're almost all too big for the cheap costume suits at Walmart. I told them they had to figure it out however they wanted but it needed to be under that amount. The kids have done well with this, and for the most part they've stayed well below that. But then... Amazon. *sigh* Ds11 wants to go as either Hiccup from HTTYD 3 or Link from BOTW (Switch game) but most of the costumes were too small or more cosplay and outrageously expensive. We finally found a BOTW Link costume in his size on Amazon for about $35. We put it in the cart thinking we could get a NERF sword to go with it and still be in budget. A few days later, the price increased to $50. 😡 🤕 Oh well. I don't have the heart to tell him they increased the price and he has to forgo the sword. Thankfully, the others coming in under budget gives plenty of room to still get the sword. I'm not sure any of this really applies to your situation, just musing out loud and commiserating.
  4. Coming from a very conservative background with a natural desire to smooth conflicts, I understand the desire to make others comfortable. Besides Romans 14, there's also Romans 12:18: much as peaceably with all men. It took a long time for me to realize that smoothing over possible conflicts, avoiding confrontation, and allowing others (usually the stronger or louder people) to be comfortable is NOT trully living peacefully or being compassionate in any way. If we are to use Jesus as our example, he did not shy away from confrontation. He was nice to people (mostly) but more importantly, he set an example even if it made people uncomfortable. True compassion means standing up for the weak, the oppressed, the marginalized. And in America, breastfeeding mothers are still marginalized. Jesus called the disciples out when they wanted to keep the kids away from him. Maybe having the kids around was culturally unacceptable. Maybe it made the disciples uncomfortable to let little kids around while they're talking grown-up religious stuff. I bet it was certainly a distraction. But Jesus did the compassionate thing: he made them face their assumptions and reminded them what was really important. Another parallel is the Martha & Mary scenario. Remember that Martha was doing the culturally appropriate and respectable thing, but she's the one who got called out. Not Mary. Martha is the one who had her priorities mixed up. Breastfeeding mothers who refuse to be relegated to another space are more like Jesus than those who meekly go hide in privacy because of what others think or feel. Can you imagine what Jesus might say if he were sitting in a small room Bible study and a woman gets up to leave so she can breastfeed simply because she might make the men uncomfortable? He would know why she was leaving. And if he knew that she was leaving because some of the men were uncomfortable with her nursing in the same room, I think he'd have a few choice words to those men...maybe something along the lines of reminding those men where their priorities and focus should really be. And I think he'd encourage the mother to stay.
  5. This. I've got too many kids to keep everyone home when one of them gets sick. Now, when they were younger, sickness was guaranteed to hit them all, so yeah, I'd keep them all home. I knew that they'd spread it. But now, their ages range from 9-22. I've have many instances of just one or two getting sick and not anyone else. So no, I'm not going keep everyone home from most church-like things because one is sick. HOWEVER, even if only one of us is sick, I do avoid pot-lucks and such. If even one person has had a fever, we all pass on the after-church dinner events.
  6. Viruses and bacteria are adapting to our medicines. They've learned to adapt faster than new medicine can keep up. Because of this, people are going to find that colds and such are stronger and harder to get over. Simply taking medicine and continuing to work (be it in or out of the home) as we have grown used to isn't going to continue to happen. It's also going to mean a return to times when people must take very proactive and prolonged steps to recovery. This means that all of the wonderful advice above is something that people need to learn to do immediately when they're starting to feel bad and continue to do until they're all better... and it still could take several days to recover! So when someone suggests something, it's not a one-time thing. It's could easily mean continue to do that every few hours for several days. I don't mean to sound all gloomy, but it helps me to know--and I hope that it helps you, too--that I can't expect to just take some medicine/remedy and move on... I've got give myself time, and that means days not hours. My body's fighting off an army with a vast network of intelligence and advanced weaponry. It needs a little extra time and care.
  7. I don't know what kind of shows you like, but I just recently finished watching all 7 seasons of Star Trek Voyager (Netflix) and thoroughly enjoyed it. Of course, it's Star Trek (which I grew up dad loved the classic Star Trek!) so you have to roll with the "science," but it was a pretty simple plot and, with a few exceptions, happy fun to watch. And I had no problems with my youngest watching it, as opposed to TNG, which had several episodes that IMO ventured into a bit too adult-y territory in several episodes. Another show I've enjoyed is The Good Witch (Netflix). Definitely fits the not too deep, happy, and simple plot lines requirement. Psyche (Amazon) is loads of fun. If TV-14 is ok, I'd also say Merlin ((Amazon) simple and funny, though it does have a bit of a sad series ending) and Warehouse 13 ((Amazon) not complicated that I can remember and it was funny). Hope you feel better!
  8. Aura

    Amber Guyger

    I interpreted what Katy said as meaning if the trained person pulls a gun, then someone is going to die, and whatever is happening is worth killing over. Stopping someone from committing rape or torture would, IMO, justify lethal force, or the act is so egregious that it's worth preventing even if it means killing.
  9. Aura

    S/O Spanking?

    This is a fair point, IMO. I wouldn't say that smacking is ineffective, but there are always other options. The problem is that many parents don't go into parenting knowing what kind of options to look at much less what is developmentally appropriate. The one-size-fits-all approach simply does not work with parenting. at all. Kids are just too different. Some would respond to the tomato approach, but others would be traumatized by that. The reverse is true as well. I think the push-back is that just like medicine, it can be helpful and yes, even an appropriate choice. So much of parenting involves learning on the fly, which means making mistakes. You do the best you can, but you WILL make mistakes. Parents tend to be judged very harshly for many of their decisions. Most parents love their children and are trying their best to raise them into responsible, caring adults. Yes. Honestly so much of what I've read on all this has only served to teach me that there is no definitive way to parent every child. Some children might do well with a spanking here and there. For some, that would be a trauma that they would have to recover from, not simply a lesson learned. For some kids, a time out is traumatic. For some kids, it's nothing. Parenting is not easy. There is no easy answer. Spanking, if done at all, should be done sparingly. Doesn't mean never for all children. I have been accosted by loud people telling me all kinds of things wrt to kids. (Did I mention that my oldest was very strong willed? Did I mention that at least two others of my kids are as well?) I had one person threaten to call CPS because my oldest was carrying my youngest on his shoulders. There are just loud, obnoxious people out there. It sucks. I would guess with a kids prone to meltdowns or with developmental delays, that's even more so. I'm sorry.
  10. Aura

    S/O Spanking?

    Spankings create a definitive, concrete line in their developing brains. Depending on the child, that may be the only thing they can grasp at the time. It creates a literal link in their brains between the action, running into the street, and the consequence, which is NOT getting squished by a car--that is often too abstract for little kids to grasp--to getting spanked, which is very concrete and easily grasped. Children will make a concrete connection between what they've done and receiving immediate punishment, regardless of what that punishment is. If they throw their sippy cup on the floor, it gets set on the counter out of reach, not given back to them. Even little kids learn quickly that Mom's not trying to keep them from getting something to drink, it's a direct response to their actions. Same with spanking, if it's rarely used. If it's the go-to method of discipline, that link will most likely be made not with a specific action (running into the street) but with a parent's reaction (I made Mom mad). HOWEVER, I would not rely on spanking to keep a child out of the street. If they are so young that such a concrete line is needed, they're also too young to have enough impulse control to keep them from running into the street. But accidents happen, and children escape, especially when there's multiple littles and one harried mother. The spanking might still be appropriate, but it's certainly not going to be a preventative.
  11. Aura

    S/O Spanking?

    I wish I'd had a better understanding of the negative aspects of spanking as well as other options when I began parenting. I was raised in the south with a "spare not the rod" mentality in my parents. I was rarely spanked, though. And when I was, I was pretty deserving of a hefty punishment, so as an adult now and a child then, I have no issues with the spankings I received. When I first became a parent, this is the mindset I went in with. However, I was one of six kids. My mom didn't have just one generally-compliant child. She had SIX kids, each of us with different levels of ...shall we say, stubbornness?She should have eventually figured it out. Like I eventually did. But when my oldest was born and turned out to be very strong-willed, her counsel was to spank him. [insert the head-banging emoji!!!!!] So I did. I soooo regret it. I really wish someone had told me of better methods! I did eventually figure it out, that spanking did NOT work for him or for every child! But geez, Mom, why didn't YOU figure that out and pass that info on to me! I do agree that sometimes, in those precarious toddler years of great mobility paired with terrible judgment and forward thinking, a simple spanking is the best way to get a message across. But yes, it really only works if it's used rarely. And by the time they're old enough to imagine themselves in different scenarios and come up with alternative actions in advance, they've outgrown spankings. There's generally a very short window in child development when a spanking might be an appropriate measure. And in that short window, I feel it really depends on the child. But understanding what works for your child is something the parent has to learn, too. A spanking (actual spanking meaning a few swats with the hand on a clothed butt ...not a beating!) by a loving parent is really not going to permanently damage a child. Let's face it, there are LOTS of things that parents do that aren't the best, but we have to learn things, too. Personally, I think a full year of early childhood development should be required in every high school. Institutions, on the other hand, should NEVER result to physical punishment. That should be totally illegal.
  12. I've been rolling my eyes at the "monster" and "catastrophic" labels for the past few days. I was thinking the first storm of the year and they're already going crazy, no wonder people start to ignore things ..but then it went to cat 4 a cat 5! and it's the "2nd strongest Atlantic hurricane!" geesh! I guess they really weren't exaggerating! Stay safe everyone!
  13. Ds is very good at explaining things, when he wants to, so I know he's capable of it. But you do have some good points. Oh yes! It's definitely a live-and-learn thing, the school didn't seem overly concerned, but I don't want it to happen again. I don't want him ending up with a "label," iykwim. But being the youngest does have the advantage that he gets to hear from not just us "stodgy parentals" (love that phrase!) but his older siblings, too. When we discussed it at the dinner table, I brought it up so that they could help come up with some phrases. But their first reaction was groans and rolled eyes with: "Oh no" and "You did NOT!" and "You can't say that stuff at school!" It's so nice when the stodgy parentals are the ones to get back up (cause you know it's usually the other way around). 🙂
  14. I love these, especially your brother's!
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