Question: Do you ever find legit way to hide/take break from kids?

[Alicia64]

I have a friend who writes and has -- at times -- stayed in a moderately priced hotel to finish articles in peace (kids are over 12). She's asking if I've ever done this. (No.)

 

But I said I'd ask on here: have you ever checked into a hotel to get some peace and quiet? Maybe when you had a bad cold? Or needed to work on a project?

 

Or did you just take a mental health weekend for yourself? :hurray:

 

Alley

[Insertcreativenamehere]

I have, but only on one or two occasions. I've asked for a hotel night alone for a Christmas gift a few times. :)

[hjffkj]

I've never gotten a hotel room but there have been many times I've called my parents or a sibling to see if they'll take the kids for the night. Tomorrow we're actually having an overnight here with 6 cousins so my siblings can be away from their kids.

[regentrude]

No.

I get my time away from the kids/alone time/peace and quiet/mental health break at work.

[LucyStoner]

I checked myself into a hotel in June for 3 nights to get a pile of accounting homework done.  I needed to play a bit of catch up after falling behind when dealing with kid thing after kid thing.  I considered just sending the kids to stay with other people but ultimately decided that while at home, I could still distract myself with things like laundry and other housework.  At a hotel, there was not just quiet but a blissful absence of the feeling like there was one more thing I needed to do before I could focus on myself.  

 

I am seriously considering making 2 nights of this every month or two a regular budget item until I complete my degree.  

[creekland]

Does hubby and I going away for every Anniversary since we were married count?  (Though actually, we took each boy with us when they were less than a year old, and there have been 4 trips where we all went, two of those included my mom and she watched the kids while we got time to ourselves on our Anniversary day.)

 

Otherwise, no.  Hubby and I used to get separate tables from the boys when we'd go out to eat at times though.  We still paid for their meals.  ;)

 

I got "my" time alone away from the kids at work.  So did hubby.

 

Now we're empty nesting so cherishing the time we have with our kids when we get it.

[Arcadia]

I put my kids in summer camps to have a break. They are at camp this week from 9am-3pm so I get time to just relax.

[Elizabeth86]

OMG I dont eve get to sleep late or take a nap. Every once in a while I'll doze off for 20 minutes rocking the baby to sleep.80% of the time I dont even bathe or poop alone.

Edited July 28, 2017 by Elizabeth86

[theelfqueen]

I go on scrapbook retreats at least once a year. And a choir retreat but that's not a break that's work! And at least one week a summer Ds2 is with his dad and ds3 goes to Florida to see the ILs

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[Paige]

I just shut my door and tell them to leave me alone. When they were little, I would wait until DH was home to be in charge, but now they are old enough to chill on their own for an hour or two.

[Pink and Green Mom]

I never did escape to a hotel but I often threatened to (and DH was the first to say go ahead and do it, I just never did).  When we lived closer to my inlaws and my kids were younger, my DH would take the kids there for a weekend.  That was like a little slice of heaven to be by myself in my own home (with the added bonus of getting out of spending time with my inlaws.....)

 

When my youngest was about 4, he once told an acquaintance of mine, and I quote, "my mom poops a lot."  He was alluding to the fact that I would say "I'm going to the bathroom" 10x per day to escape his incessant talking....

Edited July 28, 2017 by Pink and Green Mom

[JIN MOUSA]

Yes. Two or three times a year, I get out of town for a weekend by myself. For whatever reason, staying at a hotel in town would stress me out and make me feel guilty about not being at home to take care of things, but driving a few hours and staying at a hotel doesn't. 

 

When I've got a planned weekend off coming up, I start thinking about what I want to accomplish (sleep and quiet are always on the list) and what I need to prepare and pack to make that happen.

 

[sassenach]

I have a friend who writes and has -- at times -- stayed in a moderately priced hotel to finish articles in peace (kids are over 12). She's asking if I've ever done this. (No.)

 

But I said I'd ask on here: have you ever checked into a hotel to get some peace and quiet? Maybe when you had a bad cold? Or needed to work on a project?

 

Or did you just take a mental health weekend for yourself? :hurray:

 

Alley

No. The closest I've come is getting coffee. However, I do go on twice yearly momcations with 2 friends. That's my recharge time.

[Guest]

It's called movie time. They sit and stare at the screen and I hide in the bedroom with a book :). We just don't have the budget for a mommy vacation at present but that's not a bad idea down the road.

Edited July 28, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[gstharr]

For the last 3 years,  CTY residential program + 1 week summer camp = 1 month downtime. 

[scrapbookbuzz]

When I was in grad school, and having medical issues, I finally booked two weeks at my BFFs house (she doesn't have kids),

in another state (with dh's blessing) so I could just get the one class DONE (I had been given an extension due to medical issues).

BFF and her dh work all day at their own business, in their basement, so I had the whole upstairs to myself to concentrate - and I 

wasn't responsible for cooking, cleaning, etc. It was lovely!

 

I've been contemplating booking a night or two at our timeshare sometime this fall but haven't done it yet.

 

Movies are always a good getaway, too - I prefer a movie in the theater because again, I'm not responsible for anything at the theater.

Watching a movie at home is not conducive to me being able to watch the whole movie without thinking of what else needs to get done!

[Loowit]

Well, I take baths and tell them to leave me alone unless it is an emergency.  This sometimes works.  MIL used to take them for a few hours on Fridays and have art class with them when they were younger, but she is traveling now.  But most of my breaks have been when DH is home and I go hide out somewhere in the house or rarely go to dinner with a friend.  I have thought about a hotel room, but it was never in the budget.

 

This week I am getting plenty of alone time.  I am down to one kid since the other two are at church camp and DH has been out of town all week for work.  Although I have spend most of it school planning for next fall, I have taken time to read books and enjoy the quiet.

[prairiewindmomma]

I did that this week.  I got a hotel room, cranked the ac down to 63F and took a 15 hour nap. 

 

I firmly believe that if you can greatly benefit from a day or two away to rest, recuperate, explore your own interests, whatever, you should find a way to do that from time to time.

 

 

[fraidycat]

I've gone on a few 'mom's weekend away' with friends. Now that the kids are older, I can just leave the house to go run errands or get quiet time whenever I want, and they mostly ignore me unless they want food, so I don't "need" the getaway as much, but I really enjoyed my two week-long work conference/retreats this year with zero responsibility for any person beyond myself. It was very relaxing!

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

A good friend of mine treats herself to two nights kids free to get her yearly homeschool plan organized.  Either she goes to a hotel or her husband takes the kids to his parents for a long weekend.  I think it's so awesome!

[TheReader]

Hotel, not really (well, I have one "girls' weekend" each year, but it's for an event, not as a break from kids). 

 

Breaks from the kids, yes, always have. When they were small, it was just going to our church's "small group" which is just a gathering of a few couples to participate in Bible Study, snacks, and visiting/hanging out, about once/month, sometimes more. Or it was scrapbooking night once/month when I was doing that. Or when we lived in Brazil, weekly trips to the farmer's market & craft fair by.my.self.

 

Or now, I grocery shop solo, I go to a monthly Sew In at a local quilt shop, and really my kids are big enough now that I'm looking for ways to spend time with them rather than ways to get a break. 

 

DH and I have also made sure to have "date night" at various times....we never managed the whole "once a week" or even "once a month" thing, but we do (and always have) sprinkle in things like watching a TV show just us, going for walks, running errands together on the weekends (but fun errands, not just chore errands, like going to the nursery to look for plants, things like that), meet up for lunch if he's out & about and I'm out & about on the same day, and enough "out of the house" dates that we're both content, including some overnights. And enough TEA time that everyone stays happy. 

 

Back to hiding from the kids.....a long, hot bath with a book. But then, if I didn't do the other things, that likely wouldn't be enough/wouldn't have been enough back in the days when I longed for breaks from them. Like I said, now they're old enough that I've flipped to the other end, where I am looking for ways to spend more time with them. 

[reign]

My youngest is 7 and I have had two weekends away from kids. Both times I did it more for my mother (she wants adult time with me) than for myself. I prefer to stay home and send my husband and kids someplace else!!! That's my favorite â¤ï¸ Usually they go out for the day and evening then return for bedtime.

[Beaniemom]

Does it count if it's respite care? I will schedule our provider to come for 4-5 hours just so I can get away. I do this at least every other month. Otherwise our time with her is used for doctor appointments and such.

[luuknam]

I have, once or twice, when the kids were little. A cheap motel, not a moderately priced hotel. It's been years though... now I just send my kids to camp a couple of times per year or so. 

[solascriptura]

My dh and I go away for the weekend without the kids a few times a year. A lot of my friends are astonished that we do this. Some are amazed that we can find anyone to watch all of my kids. Some are surprised that we want time alone without our kids. Absolutely no guilt here. Yes, I need time with my dh without the kids and I really enjoy traveling with him.

[QueenCat]

What breaks looked like for me varied over the years, based on kids age, sitter availability, money, etc. Sometimes it was trading off with friends for a few hours. Other times it was a weekend away. And often something in between.

 

What never changed is the fact that the mere fact that a mom wants a break is a legit reason to get a break.

[Rachel]

Well, since January I've been backpacking with a group once a month which includes camping one night. It wasn't intended as a break from my kids but that has been a nice benefit.

 

Last month I needed to meet the shuttle at 6:00 am, it had been a long week with the kids. Partly because of the early meet time and partly because of the long week I did drive down a night early and stay in a hotel instead of leaving my house at 3:30 am, that was pretty nice. My husband travels a lot for work though so we have a lot of hotel points and the room was free.

[Twolittleboys]

Don't I wish... I do get some time on my own as kids are in school during the mornings (and I go shopping on my own and sometimes on walks). But during that time I either work, do household stuff or feel guilty because I am not doing either.

 

In many ways it is easier than when they were little but I think it has been just so long that it is really wearing on me. I have had I believe two nights on my own during the last 12+ yearsand I do feel that I need to get away/have some free time away from everyone. Actually, I have been talking about going away for two days or so soon and hopefully will get to it within the next year or so.

[ashfern]

No. I did get a break from the kids when I had the flu earlier this year. My DH quarantined me in our room and wouldn't let the kids in. I think it was almost a week.

[Guest]

One time, I drove to the Atlantic Ocean early in the morning (3 hour drive) and sat on the beach all day, reading and lolly-gagging and hogging the entire Thrasher's Fries to myself, then drove 3 hours back home that evening.

 

Honestly, it wasn't the worst idea...

[Alice]

I have gone to a hotel for my birthday for the past 5 years. The first four times it was about 24 hours. This past year was two nights because the kids are older and it's easier to get away and I happened on an incredible deal.  I look up deals on Hotwire and stay in a much nicer hotel than we would normally go to for a family vacation. Then I read, take baths, go for walks and sometimes go to museums downtown. But mostly it's reading and just quiet time. 

[aggie96]

No.  I am almost never alone from kids and DH.  It drives me insane.  The closest I get is waiting in line at middle school car pool.  That's 20 min 4 days a week.  I don't bathe, eat, potty, sleep, work, do chores, shop, etc alone...ever (12 years running).

Edited July 29, 2017 by aggie96

[QueenCat]

One time, I drove to the Atlantic Ocean early in the morning (3 hour drive) and sat on the beach all day, reading and lolly-gagging and hogging the entire Thrasher's Fries to myself, then drove 3 hours back home that evening.

 

Honestly, it wasn't the worst idea...

 

Great idea! And Thrasher's Fries are the BEST. I ate them often the summer I lived in OC.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Now I can take breaks for a lunch with friends or whatever whenever I want because my kids are older.  We tend to schedule things with friends about once a quarter because we are all busy.   This entire month I have had all my days to myself because ds20 is at work and dd15 is at day camp every day. 

 

When my kids were little I didn't get breaks very often.  There were reasons why my ILs couldn't watch my kids when they were little and now I wonder if those weren't early warning signs of the dementia they now have.  The biggest lifesaver for me when my kids were too old for naps and too little to be left alone even for a quick run to the grocery store were the daily afternoon quiet time. 

[Junie]

I had a break this week.  I took all 6 kids to Vacation Bible School (the older three as teacher's assistants) and I had five mornings to myself.  Since most of my kids have late summer birthdays, I spent most of the time shopping.  I also cleaned out some clothes and toys (things I can't do if they're home because everything is somebody's "favorite".)

 

Also, dh and I decided not long ago that I need more breaks.  So I decided that I would celebrate my birthday every month -- sometimes something as little as a milkshake -- so that I can have a little bit of "me" time.

[Ravin]

I work M to Th four hours from home.

[Seasider]

I have, but only on one or two occasions. I've asked for a hotel night alone for a Christmas gift a few times. :)

Same, but only when my INTJ self reached crisis level need for alone time. I have spent that time in much reading and prayer time, so I classify it as a retreat. And a necessity.

[nixpix5]

This is my dream birthday present lol. I told my husband to get me two nights in a motel and a stack of books :)

[hjffkj]

Sometimes when I have to pet sit late at night I stay extra long with a good book or I write. I'm doing that tonight.gotta let out some dogs and then give meds to a cat at 11. Do I'll head to the first house at 9:30. I'll get a good hour of writing in.

[hjffkj]

Also, once a year I stay the night at someone's house when they are away for 5 nights. It is fantastic! I get paid $50 a night to escape the chaos of my house and not be woken up by kids. The only time a kid comes with me is if I'm still breastfeeding.

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

I go to karate class by myself on Saturday mornings. I have an hour of travel time to think, sing, listen to what I like, talk to myself, or sit in complete silence. Then, I spend an hour and a half punching and kicking things. It's very theraputic. LOL I also have an hour or two to myself most nights after the kids go to bed and before DH gets home from work.

 

My plan at the beginning of the last school year was to take one day off each month and take that time for myself. My plan was to get a massage, do some just for fun shopping, spend a few hours at my favorite used book store, grab lunch, read on the beach, go to a movie, maybe even let DH meet me for dinner...basically leave the house first thing in the morning and come home after the kids are in bed. It never happened though. I really should revisit that plan though. It sounds great typed out.

[Acadie]

I try to have a night or two alone or with friends once quarterly. Doesn't always work, but when it's hard to fit in it's almost more necessary. I've seen positive effects for my family for months afterward, so have learned to feel no guilt about it. 

 

One or two nights at a priceline hotel with a pool, king size bed and two desks...heavenly. A couple times I've booked offseason, midweek stays (with breakfast!) at a resort on a lake near us, and other times I've stayed with a friend. Often I have a writing deadline to meet, but the time to regroup, exercise, eat whatever I want and plan the next few months is just as valuable as the writing time. Since part of my mothering deal is managing some unusual health issues, the time to brainstorm and research treatments and next steps is invaluable.

 

Love PP's housesitting arrangement--might look for one of those myself!

 

 

Amy

[Katy]

There's a YMCA here that's adults only - kids under 12 can go to a nursery, and they play movies in one of the cardio rooms.  That's been my escape.

[Frances]

Starting when my son was very young, he and my husband always went out together for several hours on Saturday or Sunday morning. And when my husband was on an academic schedule, the two of them always went away together for at least part of spring break. So I had 5-9 days alone. Usually at least every other year I also travelled alone to visit family for a week. And my son used to spend about three weeks every summer with our extended families in another part of the country.

[SporkUK]

Never gotten a hotel, I'm not sure I would find that relaxing. Now that my kids are older, they're pretty good at leaving me to rest or work...they prefer playing elsewhere (I think they know if they bug me too much I will find work for them to do :lol: I tend to have a lower threshold for mess when stressed).

 

I do go to a ladies' game night weekly to get out of the house by myself which I enjoy and am part of and am now an organizer of a local meetup group which is great for me. Like I said, I don't think I would find a hotel relaxing as I could do similar in my own bedroom and would likely involve me being in my head too much but a night out particularly with the women groups really helps me recharge as I can get out of my own thoughts/worries/expectations and just have fun again which has been a struggle for me to do before I started actively looking for ways to do that. 

[mytwomonkeys]

No, I've never felt the need for that and finding silence or privacy isn't difficult for me (plus I don't have a job or deadlines). I think it's fine if it works for her & her family though.