$500 wedding.....hmmmm

[DawnM]

I am ALL FOR low budget weddings, but I don't think I would ask my guests to buy their own meals.

Our wedding cost $5,000 back in 1995 and we had a full buffet lunch for 200+ people.   I assume my boys will spend more on theirs, not sure what we will need to contribute.

https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/style/story/bride-viral-47-wedding-dress-tying-knot-500-84144316?cid=social_fb_abcn&fbclid=IwAR1F-pwrMNkztrkemiqS7eYTlVTFg_tUgMhHoqCi0xGNaUDE03ORS4BrAU0

Thoughts?   Would you host a wedding where the guests had to buy their own food?

[Murphy101]

No. But I would have a wedding where a dinner was not provided at all. There’s nothing wrong with a simple old fashioned cake and punch only reception. 
 

eta: that’s all we did. Our weeding was less than $1000 30 years ago. A small and simple formal wedding, cake and punch reception. Done. 

Edited April 19, 2022 by Murphy101

[Lori D.]

If invited to something like that, I would most likely just support by attending the wedding and providing a wedding gift, and skip the reception. But, as an introvert, I'm not a big "party girl", so that would be a relief to just pop in for an hour for the wedding, and disappear again, being able to avoid all of the awkward trying to socialize with other guests who I don't know. 😉

Instead, of having guests pay for their meal, why not just plan for a mid-afternoon wedding, that required no serving of food. That USED to be way weddings were -- small affairs, often happening in the home of the bride, so not inviting hundreds of guests, so a meal was actually reasonable.

We got married longer ago than you, @DawnM, for just under $1,000. We served finger foods that relatives made and donated, along with a sheet wedding cake that was made and donated and we decorated with live flowers left over from my bouquet and the boutineers. We did not do any wasteful "party favor" items to the guests (that wasn't a "thing" anyways at the time we got married). And we held the reception right after the service, both at the church we attended, which did not charge us anything because we were members. So, no "destination wedding". 😉 I did NOT want the 2 ladies and the 2 guys who stood up with us buying clothing they would never wear again, so we just asked that they wear something they already owned that were in any of those great "Miami Vice" pastels that were really "in" at the time.

We had the service out on the lawn of the church, with one of the most stunning sunsets ever -- far more lovely than any purchased decorations would have been! 😄 

Edited April 19, 2022 by Lori D.

[Katy]

I would never invite people to an event where they were expected to bring anything.  I definitely would not host an event where people had to come in from more than a thousand miles away and not provide multiple meals.

Edited April 19, 2022 by Katy

[Murphy101]

25 years ago my bff had a very casual outdoor in her backyard wedding and the reception was a potluck.  Most rode their horses in to the wedding arena.  I’m sure no one told the out of towners they couldn’t have a scoop of potato salad bc they didn’t bring a dish to share. It was fine.

[Lisa]

Great to have a low budget wedding, but no way would I ask my guests to pay for their own food. 

If you want a low budget just have cake and simple appetizers.

My wedding was about $2,000 in 1991.  My dress was only $125 from JCPenney outlet store. Our reception was at a rented park shelter with a simple catered lunch/dinner and cake. We had no dance and no alchohol. We told guests to bring a change of clothes as our reception was at a park. We set up a volleyball net, it was near a playground, also had basketball court nearby.

[Grace Hopper]

12 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

No. But I would have a wedding where a dinner was not provided at all. There’s nothing wrong with a simple old fashioned cake and punch only reception. 
 

eta: that’s all we did. Our weeding was less than $1000 30 years ago. A small and simple formal wedding, cake and punch reception. Done. 

Agree. Super low budget = mid afternoon cake and punch. 
 

UNLESS you come from a culture in which it is expected of others to chip in and contribute a dish for a potluck fete. 

[prairiewindmomma]

$500 doesn't get me through a shopping trip to Costco.

I'm team elope or cake & punch.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If you host a low budget wedding, you need to actually plan for something that comes in at that budget.  Charging your guests for dinner is not hosting. 

[Loowit]

I would never ask guest to pay for their own food.

My wedding in 1996 cost $1,000, including dresses for me and the bridesmaids/matron of honor, cake, flowers, etc.  It helped that we got married in my parent's church and so it was free and included punch for some reason (it was a special thing from one of the ladies at the church she did for all weddings).  We didn't have a meal, just cake and punch.  I think in total we had about 300 people at the wedding.  We had an open invitation to our church we were attending, the church where DH had done his student ministry, and my parents church.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh, and we didn't actually pay for our dinner food at the reception.  The ladies at the church (Filipino) hosted a potluck.  But that is the culture and tradition and their gift to all the couples who get married in that church.  We did pay for the cake, punch etc. ie. all the things that the potluck did not cover. 

[cbollin]

No. who does that?  LOL. I'm just being silly.  

I remembered I've been to a potluck style of wedding reception and it was nice.  The couple had a friend who gifted the champagne.  And the couple purchased the cake.  All else was potluck style and bring a dish to share.   It was third wedding for bride (who is my MIL) and second for groom (and they were in their mid 40s in the late 1980s).   The idea was in lieu of gifts that we don't need, bring a food to share.  It didn't bother family or friends and it was nice.

I've seen small weddings where the reception was guests purchased their own buffet at the restaurant.  The idea was in lieu of gifts we don't need. Instead it was spend under $10 per person and celebrate together.  

Mine (which was about 6 months after MIL's thrid wedding mentioned above) mid afternoon event,  cake and punch with fruit trays at the church. and we needed gifts since we were just out of college and didn't have established households yet.  my dress was $10 off the rack out of season clearance prom dress. 

[J-rap]

We've been to weddings that were much simpler and casual, but at least some kind of food was always provided (once it was build-your-own subway sandwiches, another time it was just cupcakes and coffee, etc.).  I don't think I'd ever be comfortable asking guests to bring/pay for their own food, unless there were unusual circumstances.  I think the dd of an old friend had a bring-your-own/potluck wedding reception, but it was a smaller group that did things like that all the time and people thought it was fun and fine.   I'm sure no one was turned away if they didn't bring anything.

I think weddings are great fun, but I admit that the effect that the pandemic has had -- turning at least some weddings into smaller, simpler celebrations -- has been good to see. 

Edited April 19, 2022 by J-rap

[rebcoola]

No I would  never have people pay for food. Potluck, BBQ  no meal or just snacks sure.  

 

[catz]

There are things you can do on a budget.  Limit numbers, cake and punch, park wedding with snacks, courthouse and pizza party, etc etc etc

asking for guests to pay is crossing a line.  Or assuming you can use your guests as free labor/cooks.  I could see some family dynamics lead to like a core group doing food but that should be willingly offered.

i make no assumptions about my kids wanting to get married or wanting a wedding.  

Edited April 19, 2022 by catz

[vonfirmath]

1 hour ago, Murphy101 said:

No. But I would have a wedding where a dinner was not provided at all. There’s nothing wrong with a simple old fashioned cake and punch only reception. 
 

eta: that’s all we did. Our weeding was less than $1000 30 years ago. A small and simple formal wedding, cake and punch reception. Done. 

This is what we did. Cake, punch and snacks. Since our budget could not afford a dinner. And we had it between meals.

 

ETA: Both sides of the family did have plans to take relatives that have flown in for the wedding out to dinner afterward. And all out of towners that were there the night before were invited to the rehearsal dinner as well. We just did not serve everyone who attended dinner.

Edited April 19, 2022 by vonfirmath

[KungFuPanda]

Nooooo.  This is not having a budget wedding.  This is not wanting your friends and family to see you get married even though you can't afford a lavish event.  That's what 2 p.m. cake and punch receptions are for.  This is your family and friends being volunTOLD to pay for the reception you want.  It's gross.

[DawnM]

My friend's daughter got married a couple of years ago.   I helped with making centerpieces and they had a very low budget wedding.   The hall was in their church (free) and the food was bought partly by them and partly by the ladies of the church who wanted to help out.     It was BBQ pulled pork, rolls, potato chips, potato salad, cole slaw, and ice tea and lemonade.    Cake and cookies and coffee were after the buffet meal. It was lovely and under $2,000.

[Lecka]

This seems okay to me, I have been to a reception with a cash bar and wasn’t offended, and then there was a little complimentary food, but you could order a meal.  I thought it was fine.

I guess it could depend just how it was set up?

The one we went to was held in a hotel ballroom and we had a nice time, it seemed like the timing was something where you might want to eat or you might not.  I also think the hotel might have given the option of purchasing food.  
 

I have been to events where either people get a ticket for 1-2 drinks, or someone (or a group) puts $500 or $1,000 down on the tab, and when that is used up it is a cash bar.  I don’t think any of it is a problem. 
 

I can see with specifics that it could be more like “you have to pay” but this had more of a vibe of — “if you are hungry and want to eat right now, food is available.”  A lot of people didn’t eat at the reception and waited to go out in groups afterward.  Some people wanted to stay in and eat at the hotel.  
 

I honestly thought it was fine.  We had a nice time and were happy for the bride and groom.  

[SKL]

Mostly it sounds like a traditional wedding ... isn't it normal for the family to provide the decorations/drinks and, where practical, to use a no-cost or low-cost space for the wedding?

I've attended weddings in people's yards, and at community centers.  They were just as fun as any other wedding.

As for the dress, I'm pretty sure my sister got hers at a thrift store and paid $100-ish including dress, tiara, veil, and jewelry.  She was beautiful btw.

I wouldn't ask people to pay for their own food restaurant-style, but I see nothing wrong with having the good cooks of the family bring their best dishes for all to share, or having close relatives pitch in for a caterer.

For a catered wedding, normally people would give a gift to more than cover the cost of their food.  Ultimately you're out $$ if you go to a wedding, one way or another.  I assume most brides would know what feels OK to their friends and family as far as how the money flows.

Funny thing in retrospect - when we moved into my parents' current home, when I was 12, my mom told me she would love for me to have my wedding there in the house.  She thought it would be grand to have me walk down the stairs in my wedding dress.  (The beautiful oak woodwork!)  I never did get married, so we never had to try that out.  😛

Edited April 20, 2022 by SKL

[HomeAgain]

I don't think it's right to invite people to a celebration and ask them to pay for that invitation.  I would rather see a "cake & punch" reception than a meal the host can't afford.

Dh & I decided the perfect wedding budget based on a show we were watching where the couples were given $15,000 to spend.  Oh, we'd spend it.  $100 on the license and getting our person of choice certified to perform the wedding, and have a small (very small) ceremony with a dinner after.  Maybe 5 people invited. That brings us to $1000, and the rest to spend on a trip to Paris & Greece. 😄

[shawthorne44]

Nope, would never do that.  
Before I married my favorite wedding reception was sheet-cake, sodas and a mp3 player hooked to some speakers.   I remember being pleased that I was able to get a second diet coke.  
 

[deBij]

I had a midday wedding with an afternoon catered reception with appetizers, cake, and drinks in at my in-laws with a beautiful garden. 

As most attendants were farmers, it wrapped up around four.  Then, hubby and I went out for a nice dinner together.

It is a perfect wedding for us. 

It was also inexpensive.  Holding it on a Monday makes for inexpensive photographers and musicians.  Most people attending were self-employed or retired, so we were able to have it on an anniversary that happened to fall on a weekday.

 

It is nice to see more people customizing their weddings to their own liking.   
I would definitely pick cake & punch/cocktail/ just dancing party over people paying for their own dinner at my event, especially since eating from a set-menu is my least favourite part of a wedding.

[Jenny in Florida]

As a few others have said, I would not ask my guests to pay for their own food, but I would (and did) have a wedding that did not include a full meal. 

Our wedding came in at $3,000 28 years ago, which included a three-day weekend honeymoon.

We did a no-alcohol, desserts-only evening reception in our apartment. I made the cake and prepped most of the food.

It was nice, and I would do it again. 

[elegantlion]

The article states she had supportive family, that makes a difference. I probably wouldn't ask guests to pay for their own meal, but it seems to have worked for them. It wasn't a huge wedding, so I'm assuming she had put out some feelers on how that might work for their group. 

I'm all for budget weddings, take the rest to pay off debt or take a trip or save for a house. She looked beautiful in her $47 gown. 

 

[itsheresomewhere]

Potluck, tea and cake- all for it.  Having to pay for a meal at someone’s wedding- nope.

I knew someone who had what I thought was a neat potluck for their wedding. They asked everyone to bring either a food that was served at their wedding or a favorite dish throughout their marriage instead of gifts. We couldn’t go but I heard it was such a neat wedding reception. Close friends still talk about how great it was and the recipes they got out of it.  

[Drama Llama]

34 minutes ago, elegantlion said:

The article states she had supportive family, that makes a difference. I probably wouldn't ask guests to pay for their own meal, but it seems to have worked for them. It wasn't a huge wedding, so I'm assuming she had put out some feelers on how that might work for their group. 

I'm all for budget weddings, take the rest to pay off debt or take a trip or save for a house. She looked beautiful in her $47 gown. 

 

If her wedding was only family, and they all decided to pay for themselves to give her a bigger wedding, or to pay for themselves and the other guests, that's fine.

But when people talk about the cost of the wedding, it's the cost including the cost to the people who are giving you stuff.  

My SIL bought my other SIL a wedding dress as a gift.  Pop and I bought and cooked the food for the wedding as a gift, and paid for pictures. My FIL bought his son a suit as a gift.  My new SIL's mother bought her flowers. That doesn't mean those things are free.  We wouldn't say "they had a free wedding".  The wedding still had a cost.   Similarly, I had a friend who came from a rich family and married someone from a rich family.  They had a wedding that cost like $100K, and their parents paid the whole thing.  Should they write an article that says "How to have a budget wedding!" and when you open it up there are lots of pictures of expensive things and the strategy "ask your Daddy".  

[HS Mom in NC]

My wedding in 1993 cost $2,000 and that included 2 bridesmaid dresses and tux rental for 2 groomsmen. No, I wouldn't ask anyone to pay for anything at my wedding.  That said, we just had a quick cake, fruit, and punch reception immediately after. I've attended weddings that just had finger foods, cake, and punch. Oldest had a JP wedding with just a couple of witnesses, then we all went out for dinner at a French restaurant (6 people) that we paid for. 

I respect a small, low budget wedding just as much as a big, expensive one, but I don't think guests should have to pay for any of it at all.

[Garga]

We had a tiny wedding and had a sandwich tray with lunchmeat and cheese and cake for dessert.

However, I did ask one guest to bring a dish. Remember, it was a small wedding, so there were no more than 20 people there. One of my guests used to made the best homemade soup in the entire world. I grew up eating her soup. I used to tell her, “When I grow up, I want this soup at my wedding!”

So, when I grew up, I asked her to bring her soup to the wedding. She couldn’t make the wedding, but she sent a crockpot full of soup to the reception. 🙂 I feel like that was a special moment/situation, and not like making all the guests bring their own food. Other than MIss Lou’s soup, we provided the food.

 

Edited April 19, 2022 by Garga

[kbutton]

It's not how I would choose to do things, but the article made me think that they had family and friends who were supportive. 

ETA: Honestly, where I live, people eat out a lot, and it's the expected way to socialize, and in some circles (many), you don't really get invited over for dinner, you get invited to eat out almost exclusively. Some groups do it almost exclusively. Paying for a single celebration meal doesn't seem as presumptuous as expecting people to eat out weekly or at least regularly as a bar for who can be your friend. (Sorry if that sounds harsh to people who do a lot of eating out with friends--my issue here is that it's so pervasive.)

Edited April 19, 2022 by kbutton

[J-rap]

4 minutes ago, kbutton said:

It's not how I would choose to do things, but the article made me think that they had family and friends who were supportive. 

ETA: Honestly, where I live, people eat out a lot, and it's the expected way to socialize, and in some circles (many), you don't really get invited over for dinner, you get invited to eat out almost exclusively. Some groups do it almost exclusively. Paying for a single celebration meal doesn't seem as presumptuous as expecting people to eat out weekly or at least regularly as a bar for who can be your friend. (Sorry if that sounds harsh to people who do a lot of eating out with friends--my issue here is that it's so pervasive.)

True, having supportive family and friends who are just as excited about doing it like that as you are is a different story.  I went to one wedding where the bride's circle of friends really wanted to make all the food and it was quite lavish and very fun.   

 

[Guest]

I have heard of it; Amy Daczizin (the tightwad gazette lady; can’t spell it) her daughter had a potluck reception for her wedding. I’m not a fan, though if I were invited to one like that, I’m not saying I would refuse to go. They would just have to assume that the food I brought was my gift. But I would not host a celebration of any type in which I could not provide food and beverages to my guests. 

[Corraleno]

True story: Many years ago when I lived in Los Angeles, I was invited to the wedding and reception of a coworker. The reception was to be held at a very expensive, very trendy restaurant that had recently opened. My coworker knew the owners and she told everyone that they begged her to let them do her reception, implying that it was their gift to her, and she wanted us to know how incredibly lucky we were to be able to eat there because the restaurant was booked for months and reservations were impossible to get. So we get to the restaurant and are ushered into a private room, and she orders multiple bottles of champagne, plus a bottle of Stolichnaya which she mostly drank herself. We had a nice dinner, the champagne kept flowing, and then after dessert... the waiter walks in with the bill and asks who to give it to. Bride points to a friend, who announces that we're going to divide it evenly by the number of people there except of course the bride and groom shouldn't have to pay anything, so all the "guests" who'd been invited to this "reception" ended up stuck with an unexpected bill of more than $200 each. 

[MerryAtHope]

I’m in the cake and punch crowd! Or park pavilion and do sandwiches etc… But if I was invited to a wedding like that, I’d probably go and skip the reception unless I knew a lot of people and the reception venue was not too expensive. 
 

What I find more shocking is that the “national average” is $30,000. How can this be the national average? Like truly, of ALL weddings? That blows my mind. I guess I don’t live where most people have that kind of money. Maybe many go in debt over a wedding? That’s crazy too. 

[Drama Llama]

2 minutes ago, MerryAtHope said:

I’m in the cake and punch crowd! Or park pavilion and do sandwiches etc… But if I was invited to a wedding like that, I’d probably go and skip the reception unless I knew a lot of people and the reception venue was not too expensive. 
 

What I find more shocking is that the “national average” is $30,000. How can this be the national average? Like truly, of ALL weddings? That blows my mind. I guess I don’t live where most people have that kind of money. Maybe many go in debt over a wedding? That’s crazy too. 

I looked it up and it said "according to data from the Knot website". 

I think that people who use the Knot to plan their weddings aren't having courthouse weddings or tea and cake in the church basement or their parents backyards.  I mean, you don't really need a website for that.  

[MerryAtHope]

3 minutes ago, Baseballandhockey said:

I looked it up and it said "according to data from the Knot website". 

I think that people who use the Knot to plan their weddings aren't having courthouse weddings or tea and cake in the church basement or their parents backyards.  I mean, you don't really need a website for that.  

Ah, that makes more sense to me! I’m not at all against people having big expensive weddings if they can afford it. I just couldn’t imagine that it could be the national average!

[Farrar]

I think we spent about $1000 circa 1998. Ceremony at a local rose garden was $75 😂 Reception in my mom’s backyard. Music on the speakers that we made cassette tapes for. We did spend on the cake and we got catering stuff from Whole Foods and a local place for a little buffet. Plus my dress was about $100 with alterations. And there were some odds and ends.

I know so much more now. I could still pull off a wedding for that price. But half that would stretch it. You either feed people or don’t. You don’t have people pay for food. Gauche. 

[LucyStoner]

We were 22 and 23 and paid for the wedding ourselves.  

We did a self catered brunch at a garden club off season.  It was less than $1000 (2002) but we fed everyone.  There were about 60 someones to feed.  We did baked eggs, roasted breakfast potatoes and veg, homemade granola, homemade muffins and served coffee, tea and punch for drinks + cheesecake cups for the cake.  

I absolutely would not invite people to a party and expect them to pay for the food.  I would invite fewer people or serve cheaper food, which is what we did to fit our small budget.  I think we hit the sweet spot.  We also wanted an alcohol free event due to all the alcoholics in our family so we felt it was easier to omit it from brunch than other meals.  

Edited April 20, 2022 by LucyStoner

[ktgrok]

Nope. Our wedding was very inexpensive - I made the food myself for our reception, but it was a month after our ceremony so I wasn't busy getting married. 

But there are tons of options - a fancy "dessert buffet" can be done for an evening wedding if you want something fun like that, with candy in pretty jars, cupcakes, mini pies, etc. You could buy it all at Costco. 

Or do a mid morning wedding and have donuts and pastries and punch. 

Or a pizza party. 

Or an afternoon  'tea party" if you want fancy, with small finger sandwhiches you make yourself the day before, pastries, etc along with the wedding cake. 

Or, see if families on each side are willing to help by preparing food as their gift. (the ones in town)

 

[lmrich]

Instead of bringing a gift? If they were good friends and had no money - maybe... 

We had a simple wedding, too. I made most of the desserts and my husband had a cousin-in-law who grew up in a bakery helping his mom so he made the cake. I think all in it was less than $3,000 for probably 250 - 300 guests.

However, we both ended up spending about $1,000 for a friends' wedding that we were both in. Between the showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, the wedding clothes, the out of town hotels... it may have been more than $1,000 and that was in 1994! 

[smfmommy]

My daughter is getting married this summer.  She is cutting corners but they wanted to invite several hundred people so you can only do so much.  She is having a morning wedding and serving brunch afterwards.  Haven't heard what the caterer will cost, but we would never ask a guest to pay.  And we will provide some sort of evening meal for family who traveled from out of state.  Even with just cake and punch I don't see how you can do a $500 wedding in today's economy.

 

[Laura Corin]

18 hours ago, rebcoola said:

No I would  never have people pay for food. Potluck, BBQ  no meal or just snacks sure.  

 

I don't quite see the difference between expecting dishes from guests for potluck and asking guests to pay for a meal.

[shawthorne44]

I suspect that the difference is that potluck is voluntary contributions.   You determine what and if you bring.  Paying for food at the 'reception' isn't voluntary.    You either pay the per-head price the reception venue charges or you don't eat at the restaurant.    

For me, I'd be OK with potluck for an extremely close friend, but there are many people that I am close enough for a wedding invite, but not close enough for a potluck wedding.  Although, I guess if it were something like a church potluck that just happened to be a wedding reception, I'd be OK with that too.   That wouldn't be quite so much about the couple getting married, as an excuse to gather together and socialize.   

[ktgrok]

7 minutes ago, shawthorne44 said:

I suspect that the difference is that potluck is voluntary contributions.   You determine what and if you bring.  Paying for food at the 'reception' isn't voluntary.    You either pay the per-head price the reception venue charges or you don't eat at the restaurant.    

For me, I'd be OK with potluck for an extremely close friend, but there are many people that I am close enough for a wedding invite, but not close enough for a potluck wedding.  Although, I guess if it were something like a church potluck that just happened to be a wedding reception, I'd be OK with that too.   That wouldn't be quite so much about the couple getting married, as an excuse to gather together and socialize.   

I could also see a reception that was "in lieu of gift, we'd love you to bring a side dish or dessert" or something like that, with say, hamburgers and hot dogs and drinks provided by the couple. But like you said, only if VERY close friends, not for casual type friends. Like, only if a close knit group. 

And likely only if discussed beforehand. As in, bride says, "we'd love to have a wedding and reception, but we just can't afford it. So likely just gonna elope." And then friends chime in, 'no! We want to be there - and we all want to celebrate. Let's just do a potluck at your house or the park or something!" 

At that point, it isn't being presumptuous. It's accepting help. 

But demanding donations is different from accepting help from friends. 

Edited April 20, 2022 by ktgrok

[Ellie]

20 hours ago, DawnM said:

I am ALL FOR low budget weddings, but I don't think I would ask my guests to buy their own meals.

Our wedding cost $5,000 back in 1995 and we had a full buffet lunch for 200+ people.   I assume my boys will spend more on theirs, not sure what we will need to contribute.

https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/style/story/bride-viral-47-wedding-dress-tying-knot-500-84144316?cid=social_fb_abcn&fbclid=IwAR1F-pwrMNkztrkemiqS7eYTlVTFg_tUgMhHoqCi0xGNaUDE03ORS4BrAU0

Thoughts?   Would you host a wedding where the guests had to buy their own food?

No. I can't even imagine that. What the actual heck?

We had a cake and some candy things and punch at our wedding. None of our friends had any more than that.

[Jean in Newcastle]

1 hour ago, Laura Corin said:

I don't quite see the difference between expecting dishes from guests for potluck and asking guests to pay for a meal.

All the potluck receptions I have been to were where it was a cultural tradition. None of the food was fancy expensive food and no one was told to bring anything by the bride and groom. It’s more like the community offered and the bride and groom accepted the offer. 

[BlsdMama]

22 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

$500 doesn't get me through a shopping trip to Costco.

I'm team elope or cake & punch.

Exactly both these points.  I can't imagine the audacity of inviting guests and having them pay.  We cooked all the food for oldest DD's food when our budget was strapped - approx. 150ish? guests.  Just skip the meal if $$ is tight.

21 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

If you host a low budget wedding, you need to actually plan for something that comes in at that budget.  Charging your guests for dinner is not hosting. 

[Clarita]

From the article, it didn't really specify whether the guests volunteered for this. So, after reading the article I'm not really against this. Like I said in the other wedding thread, in my culture people will always provide a big dinner for a wedding. It is customary for guests to give cash gifts from $100-$150 per person to attend(technically you don't have to and it can be more or less $$), all that money is to pay for the meal etc. and to help the couple get started.  

Sharing good food with people you like is enjoyable for the guests and whoever is being celebrated.

[ktgrok]

1 minute ago, Clarita said:

From the article, it didn't really specify whether the guests volunteered for this. So, after reading the article I'm not really against this. Like I said in the other wedding thread, in my culture people will always provide a big dinner for a wedding. It is customary for guests to give cash gifts from $100-$150 per person to attend(technically you don't have to and it can be more or less $$), all that money is to pay for the meal etc. and to help the couple get started.  

Sharing good food with people you like is enjoyable for the guests and whoever is being celebrated.

You know, I wonder if this may start a trend where you can register for catering costs instead of new china and bath towels? I know you already can do that with honeymoons...

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

19 minutes ago, Clarita said:

From the article, it didn't really specify whether the guests volunteered for this. So, after reading the article I'm not really against this. Like I said in the other wedding thread, in my culture people will always provide a big dinner for a wedding. It is customary for guests to give cash gifts from $100-$150 per person to attend(technically you don't have to and it can be more or less $$), all that money is to pay for the meal etc. and to help the couple get started.  

Sharing good food with people you like is enjoyable for the guests and whoever is being celebrated.

I have to admit to finally reading the article. . .  And I was struck by the bride's comment that having supportive loved ones was what was especially important.  So I didn't get an entitled bridezilla vibe from this at all.  In fact it reminded me of my wedding when both dh and I were grad students.  Our photographer was a friend (who was an excellent amateur photographer) who gifted us his talents as his wedding present.  Our pianist was a friend who did likewise.  And I already mentioned the church ladies providing us a potluck buffet.  I would have a very different opinion if it was like the example given earlier of guests being presented with a surprise bill at a restaurant or even having a "cost per meal" notice put on the invitation.