Do you like visitors if you are in the hospital for a few days?

[Tap]

Dh and I were talking about this and we are of two school of thought. I wanted to take a poll here and see how other people feel.

I hate visitors at the hospital. I have had 2 c-sections and an appendectomy that all required 2, 3 and 5 stays respectively. On top of those, I have had several day surgeries, with all the convalescing done at home.  Especially when my appendix ruptured, I was very, very sick (actually almost died my last night there).  I didn't want a visitor at any of them and honestly feel like it is an intrusion to have to be pleasant, answer questions and to be chatty, when all I want to do is sleep and try to not puke (anesthesia side effect for me). I think if patients want visitors they will call people and say "I'm bored. Why don't you come up and see me so we can hang out". 

DH says people should visit people at the hospital and if nothing else to give the healthy spouse a break.  As a patient, I relished the quiet breaks when everyone was gone from my room and it was just me.

I work in health care and feel visitors during flu season is not only a problem the person who may pick it up while there, but also anyone else they may spread it to (ie one of my immuno-compromised patients or unvaccinated daughter).  There is no way I would go to the hospital during an active flu epidemic unless I was needed to be there.  Not just for a visit of a relatively healthy person (ie leg surgery etc). 

He sees my point about the flu but feels the visit outweighs the risk.

I say....wait till they are home and visit there instead! 

He says....that people should visit no matter what if they can.

Just to be fair, he has never been a patient in the hospital. I have 

How about you?  Visit or no visit? Just to make it easier, lets say the person is there for an illness or surgery, but expected to make a full recovery.  

Edited November 8, 2018 by Tap

[TechWife]

I agree with both of you. As a patient, I want privacy. But, as a family member, once the immediate crisis is stabilized, I need some company. I need to be there to advocate for my family member, but my family member is asleep or busy with tests and therapies most of the time and I am bored. For family members, hospitalizations alternate between being terrified for your family member's health and acute boredom. As someone who loves the field of patient advocacy, I think getting rid of visiting hours is the by far the best thing hospitals have done for patients. As such an advocate, though, I also believe the patient is the one that should call the shots regarding visitors. If a patient desires privacy, the family  member who needs some company can visit for a few minutes in a waiting room or cafe. If it isn't a good time to leave the patient alone, then the family member needs to miss out on that companionship. Flu season is awful in a  hospital - when in doubt about their own health, people should not come visiting! If they are family and must come, please, please please wear a mask - we promise you don't look odd wearing a mask in a hospital!

[Carol in Cal.]

I hate visitors when I’m in the hospital, but I visit people to cheer them up and get them better care.  I realize that’s contradictory but have never really considered that before.   Live and learn, LOL.

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, Tap said:

DH says people should visit people at the hospital and if nothing else to give the healthy spouse a break. 

 

Unless the patient says not to visit, we usually visit to bring some food and snacks to the spouse or accompanying friend/relative. Hospital food and coffee gets boring after awhile. A friend says to not visit when she had her first baby so we asked if we can pass food and presents to her husband who was at the hospital with her. 

ETA:

I did kept children in a cancer ward company while their parents go to the restroom or go to the hospital cafeteria to buy dinner. It was volunteer work.

Edited November 8, 2018 by Arcadia

[Melissa in Australia]

I have been in hospital several times for surgery etc. I like having visitors. HOWEVER. The culture in Aus is different. Family do not stay in the hospital with you. They visit during the visiting time slot. Nurses chase people out after the visiting time. So you get 22 hours a day to rest.

i am a big fan of visiting hours and lots of rest time inbetween

[gardenmom5]

it can also depend upon the reason for the hospitalization.   having a baby - great.  having major surgery,  - nope, let me sleep.  keep the visit very short.

[LucyStoner]

I feel like I should visit if the person wants visitors and I am sufficiently close enough to them.  I try to bring something helpful vs. get well soon swag.  

I’ve never been hospitalized as an adult except for pregnancy/labor and delivery reasons.  My list of approved visitors was very short each time and I’m not afraid to shoo people out after a certain amount of time. 

[J-rap]

I think it depends on a number of things.  If it's me hospitalized, I generally only like close family.  I was hospitalized just once outside of giving birth, but I told only close family so that was easy enough to control!  For childbirth, since it was such a happy occasion, I didn't mind the occasional non-family member, but when we moved to the small town we're presently in, it was customary for anyone to come!  We had just moved to town, and my dh's new boss and his wife, and several other colleagues that I'd only just met once came to see me and the baby.  That felt a little weird!

When it's other people, I visit when it's immediate family, but not just to visit;  as a close family member, I feel partly responsible for their care there.  If it's a non-family member, it depends on a number of things, but I'll only go if I genuinely believe they would want me to come.  Once though, I took a chance and visited a work colleague when she was hospitalized for a number of days and I knew she had no living family members and no friends.  She was very much alone.  I came with a bouquet of flowers and stayed just a few minutes.  I just didn't want her to think she was alone in the world.  I think she was glad I came.

When my dh was hospitalized and in a coma in a life or death situation, I loved when family members came, but hated when non-family members did.  The whole experience felt way too personal for anyone outside of close family to be there.  I guess my dh didn't mind since he wasn't even aware, and who knows -- maybe he felt their presence and it gave him strength;  but I would sometimes hide in the hospital chapel until they left.  

[creekland]

I detest having visitors when I'm not at my best. (Hate is not a strong enough word.) This can be at the hospital or at home.  I'm perfectly ok with family members leaving me alone too.

I liken it to critters who hide when sick.  That's me.

I rarely visit folks in the hospital unless it's close family and even then I've respected my mom's wishes to let her do chemo alone - just dropping her off and picking her up when she calls. We'll be in another room at home when she's not feeling well - always ready if she calls or changes her mind and feels up to sharing a TV show or game (which happens, but on her schedule).  I "get it."

What I don't get are the folks who want to be the center of attention just because something is going on... again... at home or in the hospital.  Some of them seem to exaggerate what's going on.  Maybe not, but that's how it seems.

I've no problem visiting someone who's somewhere long term (like in rehab or a nursing home) and I've no problem helping those at home who need it (doing their chores or fetching things).  We all need such help or companionship sometimes.

[Carrie12345]

It depends.
The last time I was hospitalized, I was a horrific mess of bodily fluids. (Sorry!)  I definitely did not want visitors!  It was hard b/c dh couldn't be there all the time, but there's no one else I would have been comfortable having through that.

Even with babies, I found having just one or two visits a little frustrating while trying to juggle nurse/doctor check ins and establishing breastfeeding.

If I ever need a simple surgery?  And the drugs don't make me violently ill for days?  Sure! Come on by!

[mom2att]

I had this come up recently when a casual friend had surgery and was hospitalized. I kept up with her via text but did not even think about visiting, because if it was me, I would want privacy--I'm in pain and recovering, leave me alone. After she was home she expressed disappointment that no one had visited her in the hospital BECAUSE she was in pain and it would take her mind off it. So completely opposite of what I would want. She is a total extrovert and I am a total introvert, so I suppose that explains a lot of it, but I was still taken aback that she wanted people there while she was in pain.

I have never been hospitalized outside of childbirth, but unless I was dying I wouldn't even want my family there. I have a phone--I'll call you if I need you.

[Pawz4me]

I think it depends on many factors, so I can't vote in your poll.

DH and I are introverts, so we prefer privacy. In general nowadays if one is in the hospital for "a few days" it means one is really sick or recovering from major surgery and undoubtedly needs rest/recovery time. As introverts we can't rest when we have visitors.

My general rule is that if it's someone I don't visit with/see regularly in real life (and I mean outside of work/church/other group type situations) then I probably don't need to be bugging them in the hospital.

[Guest]

I think how people feel about this very often falls along extrovert/introvert personality types. I have not had a hospital stay ever (except for childbirth) but I definitely know from my current recovery from surgery I do not like company. I am happy for a “thinking of you/how are you doing” text from time to time, but I really do not like visitors.

When I had my babies (except for the one who died) I never wanted visitors and used to really resent my one SIL who always had to trot over there to get her pictures with the baby. ? I felt her wishes were entirely selfish.

My mom, though, who is an extreme extrovert, recovered at my house when she had breast cancer surgery. She constantly called people and constantly asked people to come see her. On one ocassion, she had around eight friends sitting in my sunroom at once! What is more, she also had music playing literally all day long. I could not believe she enjoyed this constant noise and commotion. She was also eager to go to church (her main social activity) as soon as possible. She still speaks of this with great pride - that she was back to church in five days. 

ETA: After my surgery, my mom called me and basically begged me to let her and my dad visit. I agreed to it, but if she hadn’t asked, I would definitely have not asked her to come over. 

Edited November 8, 2018 by Quill

[mmasc]

Yeah, I think the introvert/extrovert thing comes into play for sure here. I’m more introverted, and would NOT want visitors, especially when I’m sick or in pain. Even when I had my babies, I felt it was kind of an intrusion because like a PP said, I was already juggling nurse/dr visits with rest and breastfeeding. And I really couldn’t stand it when people came who I wasn’t even that close to! 

[JFSinIL2.0]

Depends on the visitor.  Is it someone who knows to keep the visit brief and snappy, or is it someone who will sit and stare and wait to be entertained?    I was pregnant and in hospital with flu and dehydration and my mom came to sit and alternate between staring at me and commenting on how I was ruining her vacation and when was I coming home?      After our car crash hubby was in a different hospital, when he was released a few times his brother dragged him in to sit and stare at me ....waiting to be entertained.   Now, my kids (youngest 17 so not talking little kids) would come and actually chatter and entertain me!  Once while in rehab my oldest dd brought in a DVD  and we curled up on my bed and watched Frozen ( I love that film don't tease me or I will sing...).   Once while I was recovering from yet another abdominal surgery ( that crash did a number on my innards and I am sure there will be periodic surgery) our neighbors, who had three little kids I kinda "grandma-ed") showed up with a huge bouquet of lovely roses.  Unfortunately hubby had not told then I had an ng tube sucked green gross stuff out and it scared the little kids.  But I still appreciated the short sweet visit and flowers.  So - depends on the visitor.

Edited November 8, 2018 by JFSinIL2.0

[Kassia]

7 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

I hate visitors when I’m in the hospital, but I visit people to cheer them up and get them better care.  I realize that’s contradictory but have never really considered that before.   Live and learn, LOL.

 

Same with me!  I hate having visitors if I'm in the hospital but feel obligated to visit if someone is there and never realized it was contradictory!  

[Aura]

I voted no on both, but I also wanted to clarify: I think that having an advocate for the patient at the hospital is important. In my family, if anyone is in the hospital SOMEONE stays with them. We'll swap out turns usually. (Thankfully, I come from a large family, so this is relatively easy to do.) If I'm in the hospital, I like having an advocate for me, too. But that is totally different than just "visitors."

In full disclosure, I am an introvert.

[shawthorne44]

 

I think that hospitals are dangerous places for sick people.  Doesn't everyone know of someone that died from one of those nasty illnesses you catch in the hospital?   I know two.   

So, I think that there needs to be a Guard Person who at least has a nurse or doctor friend a phone call away.   

But, otherwise, no.   Non-immediate family visitors are annoying.   Only people that should be allowed are those that have seen the person first thing in the morning pre-coffee, pre-toothbrushing. 
 

 

[alisoncooks]

When DH was hospitalized after his cancer diagnosis (2014), he was in there for 40+ days over a 2-month span.  I was only able to go for short visits (my kids were 6 & 8) and not at all once flu season hit and the kids were banned for being underage. He definitely wanted visitors -- his days days were so long and boring. 

Me: I don't want visitors and I don't want to visit. (I did for DH, of course.)

[mumto2]

Up to this point I have always been able to be my own advocate while in the hospital at least in terms of calling DH if I needed him to intercede. Visitors if things are sort of gross are embarassing......who really wants their friends to see the bed pans beside your bed? I spent 100 days with bed pans when pregnant and preferred to be by myself.  Only a few visitors were enjoyed.  I know advocates are important especially if you are older because people just don’t believe you.  I used to do volunteer work for the hospital and had a training day and popped into BF mom’s room,  she was so not right, saying weird stuff that was inaccurate, and was being released later that day. I stopped by the nurses desk to let them know how off she was, someone did check into it and she had a mega infection. I called BF too so the family could go and check now.

For my back surgery a couple of friends came on a night Dh couldn’t and we had a blast but that was my not scared to death time in the hospital.  I was bored and lonely, and I don’t think people are actually hospitalized after that surgery anymore.  

[Annie G]

Depends on the situation, but generally, no. 

When dh had his bypass surgery he was there for about 4 days before they did the surgery, and several days after. Before the surgery we were a bundle of nerves and needed to be alone with just us and our kids. After the surgery he was tied up with tubes and all and really didn’t feel up to visitors.  My sister and dad wanted to fly up to be there, as did dh’s parents and sister. Nope.  And for the record, his sister thought I was selfish for not letting them come.  

Once we got home we were ok w people coming by for short visits.  

But if a friend is in the hospital we always ask if they’d like visitors and go if they say yes. Some people need company or distraction, or in some cases, dh has had the same issue and it’s comforting for the patient to talk to someone who’s been through it. 

[JustEm]

I don't mind people visiting me in the hospital after a kid but I want visits to be short, not a pop in, and to respect if I say that a specific time doesn't work.  I've had 5 csections and 2 of them have had complications that required at least a 5 day stay.  By day 2, I'm often bored out of my mind and so is dh, who stays with me, so visitors are nice.  

As far as do I visit people in the hospital, not really.  I visited after my sil's first birth but that was more because I knew she wanted me to.  I have never visited after a sibling or their spouse has given birth and I have 15 nieces and nephews on my side.  The last time I visited someone in the hospital other than my sil was my aunt who was incredibly sick in the ICU.  I did that more for my cousins and mom who were there at the hospital waiting to hear what the heck was going on.  I brought them food and changes of clothes. I didn't need to see my aunt like that and she certainly didn't need visitors while she focused on resting. As for friends, I would visit if they asked me to or if they were incredibly sick and there long-term

[Scarlett]

This is really the situation where you need to know yourself and know your friends and there is no absolute answer.  I am an introvert, although most people don't realize that.  I get 'peopled' out on a good day, so when I am sick I sure don't want people around me.  However, I do want to know people care about me, and I don't want to drive people out of my life so I do put up with some discomfort at times.  When dh was in the hospital with his total knee replacement we had a few visitors, but what was most appreciated was the 3 or 4 friends who came to sit with me while the surgery was going on and then the hours after when dh was in his room but far from being really 'awake'.  

For long hospital stays, in my world, there is always someone going to sit with the main caretaker of the patient.....to give breaks, or be a shoulder to lean on or whatever.  

[Bambam]

I do not want visitors if I am in the hospital. I'm in an ugly gown (actually two, because I have one on that is forward and then put another one that is backwards so I'm covered - otherwise some portions get cold!). Obliviously I'm not 100%. Unfortunately, even though I let that be known, I still ended up with a couple of visitors anyway. Thankfully they did not stay long. I know it was motivated by concern and love, but I would have appreciated a call or a text more!

I didn't answer the question about visiting people in the hospital. If you request no visitors, I will observe that. If you don't specify, I will try to stop by for a very short visit unless you obviously want me to stay longer. 

If, however, I suspect I might be getting sick or am getting over a cold or anything else or anyone in my family is ill, I absolutely will not visit you. I will text you. I may send you a card. But no visits until I am sure we are all well. 

[VaKim]

I only want people I do not have to interact with if I don't feel like it. When I was in for a week after my surgery, I wanted my mom and aunts and my DH and DC. My mom and her sisters would come and be with me while visiting with one another (which I liked because I could join if I felt like it but was not obligated), and my girls and DH would come and play games or watch tv shows with me. I had some friends whom I loved come every single night with their little girl and stay for nearly 2 hours. They wore me out and I hated it. Guess everybody is probably different though.

[AmandaVT]

4 hours ago, creekland said:

I detest having visitors when I'm not at my best. (Hate is not a strong enough word.) This can be at the hospital or at home.  I'm perfectly ok with family members leaving me alone too.

I liken it to critters who hide when sick.  That's me.

I rarely visit folks in the hospital unless it's close family and even then I've respected my mom's wishes to let her do chemo alone - just dropping her off and picking her up when she calls. We'll be in another room at home when she's not feeling well - always ready if she calls or changes her mind and feels up to sharing a TV show or game (which happens, but on her schedule).  I "get it."

 

 

 

This is me - if I'm sick, I want to be alone. I ended up with a middle of the night emergency c section with DS and DH's family descended upon me as soon as they could. And they stayed and stayed. DH was too tired from being up all night to think to say anything to them and I was super hormonal and an emotional wreck. I remember finding a nurse and taking DS with me to hide out in another room to get a break from them. (they still didn't take the cue to leave and there were a bunch of them including their friends who I had never met). 

 

I try to respect people's wishes and visit if they wish to have visitors and stay away if they want space. 

[goldberry]

18 minutes ago, VaKim said:

I only want people I do not have to interact with if I don't feel like it. .

OMG yes.  When my dad was in the hospital last, he went crazy because when my sister stayed with him she talked the whole time.  I brought a book to read and sat quiet in the corner most of the time.  

I do think it's a bit different for longer stays, and especially up to the person.  I would never assume a person wants casual visitors other than close family or close friends.  

[Rachel]

I don’t know how to answer. I appreciate some visitors and I want my husband there to talk to health professionals when I’m not at my best. But I also want to be left alone.

I have visited some people in the hospital and not others. I think the relationship matters. The last person I visited in the hospital had been there a long time. I set up a time to visit with his wife and then verified again when I was on my way just in case it wasn’t a good time. 

When a good friend’s father was dying in the hospital I visited my friend in the family waiting area. I took some snacks and light reading. It was just to offer some support and to sit in the waiting room while family members ran a couple errands. I didn’t visit with the dad. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

There is also a cultural aspect to this. Dh comes from a culture where the hospital room becomes packed with friends and relatives. Even in situations where it is “not allowed “. I put that in quotes because other Filipina nurses will often bend the rules and allow them to stay. Or if they aren’t allowed then they take turns going in from the waiting room. I had to step in and ban extended family from bringing in a band (yes- a band!) to my dying MILs side because they wanted to have a church service in the room. I was so surprised when dh said that he wanted the whole family by his hospital bed including his death bed when the time comes. Me?  No. Dh. My kids. That’s it. 

Edited November 8, 2018 by Jean in Newcastle
Typo

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh and as a pastor’s wife, I have visited my fair share of people in the hospital. And I have stayed by the death bed of more than one elderly person who had no family- at least who came. But in these situations I know that they want me there because they/ or someone from the hospital calls me up to request my visit and give me all the details like room number.  

In cases where a friend or family member is hospitalized, I will ask (usually the spouse) if a visit will be helpful. Sometimes the answer is no, sometimes yes. I go or don’t go depending on the answer. 

[Loowit]

It really depends on the situation.  When I was in labor with my first, I did not want anyone but DH there.  After baby was born, I was fine with short visits.  When I was hospitalized with pneumonia I really wanted DH and DD (who was a baby at the time) there with me.  I wasn't contagious, but I didn't really care if others were there or not.

The only time I really needed people to visit was after my youngest was born.  He was sent to a different hospital for a higher level of care and DH went with him.  I had a c-section and couldn't go.  I felt so alone and scared.  I really wanted people to come and distract me with the caveat that they not tell me if they had gotten to see DS because I couldn't see him and I didn't want to hear that others (aside from DH) got to.  I suppose that sounds selfish, but it was just such a difficult time and I was an emotional wreck.

[Bluegoat]

 I said I like visitors.  That's kind of a general answer though - in most cases.  I get really, really bored at the hospital, especially if I am not well enough to read much.  

But, I like them to go outside of visiting hours if I am not feeling that well, so I can sleep.  That includes family to a large degree as well, I want some entertainment but not too much.  Although last time when I was in, for a c-section, I kind of wished dh would stay at least in the evenings, I was so bored but couldn't even sleep because the baby kept me up.  He had to keep the household running though.

I don't feel like I have to visit a person who is only in for a while.  But if I think they would like it, I will.  I am a little jumpy in some ways after having a few relatives go in, and I put off visiting thinking they would come out, but they died.  This happened to both my grandmothers, I did get into see one and was there when she passed, but she was not conscious.  My other grandmother just died quite unexpectedly - she was going to move into assisted living when she left, and I think she hated that idea.  In both cases they said they would die but they were not all that ill - the doctors said they would recover.  

[JenneinCA]

When I broke my ankle I spent three days and two nights in the hospital.  I was in tremendous pain, wearing that awful gown and not allowed to put my foot on the floor to do anything.  I most definitely did not want to entertain anyone.  I was lousy company.  My husband visited some.  The kid I was biking with visited once to confirm I was still alive.  My oldest also needed to see I was okay, she came once.  My middle child had class the night I fell and was content to be told I was okay.  I was okay with all of this.

After I got home was a different story.  Then I might have liked visitors.  I was no longer in as much pain and was very bored.  

But at the hospital, no way.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I think it would depend on the situation and the reason for the hospitalization, and, perhaps, length of the stay.  If I was up for it, I would love to have visitors.  Knowing that someone cares enough to stop by is HUGE.  I didn't know how big it was until I was in a situation where I was stuck in the hospital for a week (post surgical, couldn't leave until x, y, and z were working again.)  Not having visitors or even phone calls made me feel unwanted and forgotten.  (Dh came in once a day, but he was either working or taking care of the kids.) If I were out of it most of the time, I probably wouldn't care.  Even pain feels less intense when you have the distraction of company. 

I think it is our duty to care enough about our fellow humans to care for the sick.  Maybe visiting them in the hospital isn't what they want, but, perhaps help at home (and company) would likely be appreciated.   

 

[TechWife]

5 hours ago, Annie G said:

  And for the record, his sister thought I was selfish for not letting them come.  

I was told the same thing by my sister when my son was in PICU.

[Paige]

If I'm going to be in and out in a couple of days, it's a definite no. I don't want anyone with me other than perhaps immediate family. I think, however, if I were literally dying and in the hospital indefinitely, then I would want at least a few visitors.

[Mbelle]

Generally if it's a quick thing I would not visit if I knew the family had it covered.

If it's a long ordeal or week or so then yes, the moral support is handy.  It's great to have plan so people can come in on a schedule and not everyone at once.

In our family there are several nurses and they all recommend having someone present to advocate, support and get information that the patient might not be able to remember.  We aren't visiting the patient though so they can sleep or do whatever.  It's always good to know what it is going on.

DH has been in and out many times and the quick things are tiring enough, but the weeklong is hard and we all need the moral support.  Depression is no joke and really hinders wholeness.  Friends are real lifesavers!

[MrsRobinson]

5 hours ago, Scarlett said:

For long hospital stays, in my world, there is always someone going to sit with the main caretaker of the patient.....to give breaks, or be a shoulder to lean on or whatever.  

Your world sounds like my world. ? When dh had surgery, I really just wanted to be left alone. I hate the idea of people being bored and putting their own stuff on hold for me but I knew there was no point in arguing. They were going to be there and that was that! 

When my 3rd was born (so I was pretty chill with the process) an older couple we know popped in. They start telling us they were just in the isolation ward visiting their friend with some horrible bacteria or virus or something. They had to put on gowns and masks to go in to see her and boy oh boy she's really sick!!! My eyes about bugged out of my head and I looked at my mom with the "get them out of here!!!" face and she jumped up and put her arm around the old lady and just walked her right out! Lol!!! Visitor says something about not even seeing the baby yet and Dh said, "they are resting. We'll make sure you see him soon."

When dh and my mom came back in the room, I burst into tears convinced my baby was going to succumb to some mystery bug and wow the hormones were strong. My mom and dh were so nice to me. The Clorox wipes started flying and they were trying to be reassuring. "We'll just make sure everything is super clean for you and baby and let's go tell the nurses no more visitors."

Its funny now because I can only imagine how they were feeling trying to calm down the crazy post partum lady sobbing and ranting about how dumb people can be. ? 

We all agree now, with perspective, that they should NOT have visited and I should have used less profanity in my ranting! ??

[Kassia]

I found it so hard to get any uninterrupted time to just rest in the hospital that I welcomed any time alone and absolutely didn't want any visitors - not even DH.  I didn't even like getting texts from anyone besides DH and my kids, but I understood people were concerned.  Being in the hospital was exhausting because I absolutely could not sleep with all of the noise and interruptions from the staff.  It was awful and so frustrating.  And that was in a private room.  I can't imagine sharing a room with someone.  My last stay after major surgery was a week and I was never lonely or bored.  Just tired.  DH did come to visit every night.  

[QueenCat]

Nope, just want my hubby. If one of my closer friends offers, I may or may not take her up on it, depending on how I'm feeling.

[Ottakee]

I have never been hospitalized as an adult ( and only for open heart surgery at 3) so I can't speak from experience.

I can say as an adult caregiver/responsible person for a hospitalized child or loved one, it gets extremely boring sitting there after the initial crisis.  I welcomed visitors then.  I remember being there with DD when she was an infant and being so bored and wishing someone would come visit.

Recently I went up to the local children's hospital and visited two different friends at the same time.   They both seemed to appreciate it as I was asked to being x, y, and z, etc.   One had a 6 year old very active little guy that I took to the play room and for walks while mom showered, talked to doctors, etc.  The other one has a daughter who is severely impaired and was sleeping almost full time so mom enjoyed a visit with another adult.

So agreeing with others on the , it depends.

[lulalu]

After having a baby, I didn't want any visitors. I was too tired and trying to nurse. 

When I was in the hospital after my apendix was removed I gladly had close friends and family to help pass the time. 

Dh spent several long stretches of time in hospitals and always wanted company as tv gets old fast! 

[marbel]

A few years ago I was in the hospital for a few days after a kidney stone caused an infection.  I didn't want visitors. A couple of people came by to "cheer me up" but it was just annoying. One brought a bunch of old musty paperbacks because "you must want something to read."  I  had a full kindle at my side, plus magazines my husband picked up.  I had a catheter and a big bag of bloody pee next to the bed; my hair was dirty and messed up; I was exhausted because who can sleep in a hospital, and had a caffeine-withdrawal headache for the first 2 days. Just stay away, people!

At one point my husband said our pastor asked if I would like him to come by. He knew what the answer would be: NO, please no! I like our pastor, but he is an introvert and so am I. I knew it would be torture for both of us.   

That said, I will go to the hospital to visit if the person likes visitors.  I keep it short, engage in whatever level of conversation they want, read a bit of the Bible to them and pray if they are so inclined, and leave. I  might bring a magazine or a gift bag of toiletries, depending on who it is. Nobody wants a bunch of crap to take home. 

[cintinative]

My opinion is--it depends. Call first and ask. Sometimes people do want a visitor.  Sometimes you don't. I don't think there is a cut and dry response. Also, sometimes, the person's family members might appreciate your presence.  Again, it depends.  I would keep it short if they are willing to have a visitor. Less than 30 minutes, unless they really have no advocate in the hospital and need one, in which case, bring all your "I will be an introvert for hours" gear and just be present but let them sleep and talk to you when they feel like it. 

Edited November 9, 2018 by cintinative