bettyandbob Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) Dd18 has been wanted a bag that retails for $250. It's made in the UK. I was looking on eBay and found several for sale ranging in price from $40-$150. Some are new with tags, some new without tags, used once, etc. the chance of finding new with tags in the right size and color is not likely. So, would you give something like this without tags. It would be the main present. She might get a couple stocking stuffer gifts -- under $10. If the "big" present must be new. I probably won't get this new and figure out somethingelse. Edited December 5, 2015 by Diana P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I have and will this year, too. I bought books that were "like new" for our young relatives, and books that were "very good" for my own children. I also bought used dvds for my kids this year. Um... and the block sets I bought (and the Harry Potter legos) were also gently used. Dang...I buy used a lot! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 For my immediate family, yes; for extended family, no. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 no But I also would not spend that kind of money on a purse/bag. So then maybe. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I would if it was something highly desired and I could be sure the bag was in great shape. But would your daughter be disappointed? There are people I would not buy a used item for; they would feel slighted by that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderchica Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 If it's a designer bag, check online to see how to judge if it's a counterfeit. A lot of bags in eBay are. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yes. DS wants and needs expensive equipment for his various sports. He knows the costs, he knows what specifics are beneficial, he knows how to comparison shop and how to work within reasonable financial limits. He would much rather get a used item that comes with specific components than a new one without. The research and the hunt for the best deal are really fun to him. If he can score the pair of $150 skis he's been eyeing for $15 at a swap he's over the moon. It doesn't matter one bit that they might be scuffed up if they otherwise meet his specific needs. Used is perfectly fine under the tree, as are homemade "gift cards" for said item to be purchased after the holidays when the price goes down. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieC Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yes, but I also openly explained that I could get a specific gift used and she would get other gifts or new and that would be her only gift. She opted for used. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barnwife Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Keep in mind that our oldest is 5. I can count on one hand the number of new gifts we've purchased for them. This is the first year that the oldest 2 (3 and 5 yo) *might* get a new gift. Getting used things is completely normal to them. Could we get them new things? Yes. But we are pretty crunchy (note: I don't like that term) and prefer to get used whenever possible. That being said, I wouldn't do it for gifting to others. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) Sometimes. It depends on the circumstances. But we don't always adhere to strict secrecy and "don't look until the big occasion" around here, so it's possible to say "Look, this is my budget for Christmas, and here is your list, with prices. Would you rather I buy this costly item used, or that you only get that one thing, or that I cut it off the list and get you something else?" Kinda moot this year, they both requested vintage clothes. This is because they've discovered the joys of raiding Mom's closet... and were amazed to find out that I stole their favorite items from my mother 20 years ago! (And some of them from my sister, who stole them from my mother. And one of them from my sister, who stole it from my mother, who stole it from her brother.) Edited December 5, 2015 by Tanaqui 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) I would do it in a heartbeat! Especially if the gifts were new items or I couldn't tell they had been used before. That caveat doesn't count if the item is something that is vintage and is prized for that reason -- such as OOP books. Edited December 5, 2015 by RoughCollie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yes, assuming I know that the receiver wouldn't mind a used gift. I've given used stuff to my kids many times as gifts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I would and have. DS wanted a compound bow and spending $200-$500 on one wasn't going to happen. I walked into our thrift store and found exactly what he wanted for $50. He was thrilled. My niece is getting a used book this Christmas - an original Pleasant Company (now AG) play book. Gifts are given because the giver hopes the recipient enjoys them. That is enough in my mind. If a person complains, then it's time to sit down and talk about the intent and appreciating that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I buy used in day to day life, as do my kids, I would without hesitation for my own. Now for dh's family it would depend on what it was, antiques or collectibles would be fine anything else I wouldn't. My own family, no issue, my mom shops used all the time. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 For immediate family, yes. For my family yes. For dh's family, never. They don't buy used items for themselves so I assume they wouldn't appreciate used as a gift. All of the big gifts this year for my kids are used. I wouldn't have been able to get them what they wanted otherwise. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Definitely yes, for my immediate family and my parents. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yes. I'm going to get my mom something from a local antiques store she fell in love with on a recent visit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sk8ermaiden Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yes. Only for my kids/husband and my best friend and fellow thrifter. I'd buy one that looked like new and not think a thing of it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yes, especially books. One of the ones DD wants is over $50 used. I found a good condition copy for $8-score! (It's book often assigned as a supplemental text for ethology). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) Depends on the person. Younger dd would prefer used because it would be recycling. Older dd and dh would prefer a good deal, and if that means used they would be fine with that and applaud the giver's ability to find the item used. Most of dh's family would be highly offended and bear a grudge for years to come. They've been scarred by a family member who has tried to pass of used or free stuff as carefully-shopped-for new things. (One year my Christmas present from this person still had the birthday card stuck in it from when it was received by him/her and apparently pitched in the closet for later re-gifting -- which I thought was hilarious, btw, but illustrates the careless manner in which this person carries out gift-giving.) edited for typos Edited December 5, 2015 by GailV 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 If I could be sure the item was of the desired quality/authenticity, I'd consider buying it for my dd. I would not buy used for anyone outside of our immediate family. I've tried to teach dd14 and my younger kids a bit about bargain hunting, not paying more than what something is really worth to me even though we could afford to buy new, and appreciating a shopping victory :). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I do. Is this a Owen Barry bag? Those bags are great and can still look new even used daily. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 If the recipient picked something used then we happily pay for it if the used price is doable. We don't buy used sight unseen which is why I pay more at used book stores than what Amazon used prices may be. So garage sale, book sale are non-issue. Ebay we avoid just because we can't see and touch before transacting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) I was going to post to say that I definitely bought used when the children were small as they would have had no idea. But then I remembered a few years ago, my eldest wanted a pea coat and there no way I could afford a new one. Instead I bought him a vintage navy pea coat off ebay that he thought was beyond amazing. So my answer is yes, go for it. ETA: this was also his big gift for the year Edited December 5, 2015 by slr1765 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 We do used all the time, and depending on the gift - sometimes it is obviously used. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) Yes, but I also openly explained that I could get a specific gift used and she would get other gifts or new and that would be her only gift. She opted for used. I think this is an excellent approach. Why not just ask your dd if a used bag would be okay with her? You could probably find a clever way to ask her about it if you want the gift to be a surprise. My suspicion is that if she has a choice between "like new" bag and "no bag," the used one will sound like a good option. And no one else has to know about it as long as it looks like new. :) Edited December 5, 2015 by Catwoman 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Not 'used' but 'vintage' or 'antique'. At least not for official presents. But for everyday purchasing, I am totally the thrift store queen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Youngest likes lots of stuff. So some people are going to just get him stuff, from the thrift store, presents their kids outgrew. He doesn't care if it is used or not. We did get a laugh at my mom because she always re-uses the same birthday card. But when Youngest turned ten she forgot to update it with a new post it note. So it said something like, "Happy 7th birthday". (He was turning 10) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I do think that "used" presents can be valued less, but we give them anyway for immediate family. Dd got a used SodaStream for her birthday, and will be getting a used FitBit for Christmas. The boys are getting some used puzzles/game and one is getting a used computer. In the past they've received a used game system. I think they realize they get nicer & more stuff when they get used. We gift used book often. I don't normally buy gifts for my father anymore, but dh saw something he *thought* my dad would love in the store and bought it for him. Then he ordered another one so my dad would have a complementary set. My dad opened the gifts, had a funny look on his face, and then said, "Well, I do know how you guys find stuff at thrift stores." We had to explain that we paid retail for his gift and even ordered part of it. :( Dh's mom gets it, though, because she shops in thrift stores herself. In fact one year when we were all poor we had a Goodwill Christmas where we each had like a $5 or $10 spending limit on each other and were encouraged to buy used. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 That's how my daughter has received half of her large toys - kitchen set, art easel, ride on toys. I find them like-new and snag them for Christmas. Just set them out with a big bow on them. I'm not sure what I will do as she gets older. We'll see. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 My dd was very into specific brands and labels for awhile. The only way that worked was to buy them used. I was completely successful in getting her the items she wanted at a price we could afford. She was actually the one who suggested buying used, so I knew from the start she wouldn't be disappointed. I have given used books, clothes, musical instruments, bikes, and who knows what else. Often we can afford a higher quality item by buying it used. I only give used to my immediate family and only when I'm confident they won't mind. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I frequently give presents bought used for immediate family, some extended family, and some friends. As others suggested, I'd ask your daughter her feelings. Regards, Kareni 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) depends upon the item. yes I give items off ebay, I believe in not paying retail. why should i pay the mark-up? I have a number of items purchased off ebay (or amazon), for a deep discount of the retail sale prices. condition ranges from new to excellent. the only time I will purchase something in a store - is if returning it is likely to be an issue. and nwotags - if that's the purse she wants - go for it. (I got dd the saucepan she wants. nwobox, for half the retail price. and another one I'll give her for her bd in early jan.) eta: this dd has learned how to really stretch her own dollar by me going this route. Edited December 5, 2015 by gardenmom5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Sure, depending on the item and the person. Vintage Transformers from the eighties that my kids really wanted? Sure! A bag? Maybe. It would depend on whether the person would care or not. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I think this is an excellent approach. Why not just ask your dd if a used bag would be okay with her? You could probably find a clever way to ask her about it if you want the gift to be a surprise. My suspicion is that if she has a choice between "like new" bag and "no bag," the used one will sound like a good option. And no one else has to know about it as long as it looks like new. :) alot of stuff that simply never sold in the main retail store, can end up with resellers on ebay (or amazon). it's new, like-new (e.g. open box returns), new with no tags, etc. so, while it's called 'used', it's not really. sometimes it has the box/tags, and sometimes it doesn't. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Popping back now. I was at work all day. Dd18 does shop thrift stores and consignment shops. A few years ago I took her to an upscale consignment shop because I knew we'd be able to get more there than at Kohls and she needed a lot of clothes at the time. Since then she and a friend regularly hit Goodwill and a few other places every few months or so. She got her prom dress for $20. Do, she isn't opposed to used. I Guess dh doesn't think used is good for a present. Apparently he doesn't know I've bought books used as presents. Dh is also concerned that sellers on eBay are selling counterfeits and since I can't see in person there's no way to tell. The brand dd likes is Cambridge Satchel. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 It depends on who I'm buying for. If it were for me, or bought for me, it would be awesome. I don't mind used in the least. Some other people I know who feel the same way, I would buy used. Best BD present I ever got was a girl who bought me a huge box of books at the library sale. Total awesome sauce. My mother, I'm sure, would be offended. But presents are a big deal to her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yes. We live on a very tight budget. My kids would have a meagre Christmas if we did not shop at consignment sales and the thrift shop. Books, toys and clothes are often second hand here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Maybe...depends what it is. My kids have a habit of asking for things that you can longer get in the stores. So I might get those used on ebay. Thrift stores here are useless..so I don't get many bargains there. My kids don't mind getting things from there though if we do find something they want. They like thrift stores because they know I am more likely to say yes to buying it. Things my kids want that I totally don't think are worth the money are bought used. There are some things I never by used...just because it creeps me out...pyjamas, stuffed toys, shoes, bed linen and blankets.....anything my kids are going to snuggle. That being said...I like to buy my kids new stuff for Christmas as they get a lot of used during the year. I shop sales,so I can do this. For a purse...I would buy it used. I'm not a purse person myself so don't see the point of buying something that expensive when something else does the same job for heaps cheaper...so that would be a used gift for sure or the kid would be asked to pay for some of it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Sometimes. We've gotten our kids things like cross country skis and hockey skates used. They don't even look new, at all. They look very used, but my kids knew that was the only way we could afford them, and they were thrilled to have them! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 (edited) Dd18 has been wanted a bag that retails for $250. It's made in the UK. I was looking on eBay and found several for sale ranging in price from $40-$150. Some are new with tags, some new without tags, used once, etc. the chance of finding new with tags in the right size and color is not likely. So, would you give something like this without tags. It would be the main present. She might get a couple stocking stuffer gifts -- under $10. If the "big" present must be new. I probably won't get this new and figure out somethingelse. I would not buy a luxury item that has tags on it being sold on eBay, because I'd be concerned about its provenance (stolen or fake). However we have bought used sports equipment for the kids and frequently buy books used. Edited December 6, 2015 by Tsuga 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Not on a personal item like a bag or coat or shoes. For any other time, sure, but not a gift. Certain others things live books or video games or sports equipment have and would. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Sometimes. It depends on the circumstances. But we don't always adhere to strict secrecy and "don't look until the big occasion" around here, so it's possible to say "Look, this is my budget for Christmas, and here is your list, with prices. Would you rather I buy this costly item used, or that you only get that one thing, or that I cut it off the list and get you something else?" Same here. I don't like the 'stuff for the sake of getting stuff' mentality. I'd much prefer getting what I really want, used, than getting something I don't really want, new. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Yes. I do. I bought a lot of Bitty Baby stuff used, LEGO stuff, clothing, home items...and given them as gifts. There are two people in my life I won't do that for, but it's more about their attitude than the gift. Most people in my life appreciate the thought,effort, etc. More than new with tags. A couple prefer new with tags over thought or effort. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Only if a second-hand gift is an element of the family culture and even then, be careful. I agree with the suggestion to tell DD about this possibility. I am not a fan of trying to pass off a second-hand gift as new and I don't like for used things to be de facto. This is a problem if the item is damaged or otherwise unsuitable - there is no exchange or refund usually. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Depends on the person. Younger dd would prefer used because it would be recycling. Older dd and dh would prefer a good deal, and if that means used they would be fine with that and applaud the giver's ability to find the item used. Most of dh's family would be highly offended and bear a grudge for years to come. They've been scarred by a family member who has tried to pass of used or free stuff as carefully-shopped-for new things. (One year my Christmas present from this person still had the birthday card stuck in it from when it was received by him/her and apparently pitched in the closet for later re-gifting -- which I thought was hilarious, btw, but illustrates the careless manner in which this person carries out gift-giving.) edited for typos Just wanted to say, I understand this because I have been scarred by unsuitable used gifts, too. It is why I don't try and pass off used things as new. My mother has disappointed me countless times with unsuitable used gifts (for me or my husband and kids). Things that were broken. Things that were dirty. Things that were illogical fr the recipient. I buy used things very often, but for Christmas and birthdays, it is less common. I only do this if I have discussed it with the kid and they understand the thing will be used. I hardly ever buy new snow equipment, for example, so when I have bought board boots or snowboards, they are from Play It Again and are used. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knoxinsox Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 My son has this huge list of Lego City sets that he wants. I told him money was tight this year and I could afford about $20 for Legos. What he doesn't know is that someone donated Legos to my sister's adoption fund yard sale and I spent that $20 on a small Uhaul moving sized box of loose Lego City pieces. He will be blown away. And I don't have to deal with all the packaging. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.