Would you want a call if your dh

[Jean in Newcastle]

was over a half hour late home from work?  Would it make a difference to your answer if his normal time to get home was 11:30 at night?

[Mergath]

Probably not.  My dh often gets home half an hour late because he gets talking with his co-workers and loses track of time.  If it was over an hour I'd want a call, though.

[Catwoman]

Yes, I would, no matter what time it was. :)

[Ausmumof3]

Want... Yes. Get ... Rarely. Unless it is like way late!

 

Ds took to ringing him to see when he was coming home and he's been better since that.

[SemiSweet]

Yes, I think so. Like Arctic Mama, it helps me plan the evening and dinner time and what have you.

[blondeviolin]

If my husband is in office, I usually start texting him after half an hour. He usually messages me that he's on the way home.

 

Today is one of those days where he's been gone over twelve hours already and I still don't know when to expect him home. And I can't pester him because he can't be reached. Thank you, military.

[Mrs Mungo]

Want or expect? I would appreciate a phone call. But, I wouldn't necessarily expect one for 30 minutes. In general, my DH's hours are not that regular, so he calls when he is on his way home.

[LucyStoner]

My husband texts me when he leaves work. Mostly to see if I need anything on his way home (he either bikes or walks right past a grocery store.)

 

He would let me know if he were going to be more than 30-60 minutes late leaving work. He'd be more likely to let me know more quickly if it was going to impact dinner. When he works late, he knows he is missing dinner and would probably not let me know unless it was going to be closer to an hour. He works in a busy and somewhat understaffed pharmacy, 30-60 minutes of overtime is often available if he wants it. At night if he's late it is because he wants the morning people to come in with all the orders filled because things just run more smoothly the whole day if they don't walk into a backlog.

 

Since he has shifts that end at 7 different times from 3pm to midnight, I'm used to him arriving home at different times.

[bettyandbob]

It would be nice to recieve such a call. It's not going to happen. Now, if dh is going to be hours late he will call.

[Arcadia]

Mine don't have a normal time. He would usually leave me a Skype message when he leave in case I want him to get things on his way home.

He won't call though because he doesn't have the habit all along.

 

ETA:

If he left a message but is late home, it usually means he is stuck in traffic. This morning people were following speed limit instead of speeding because of highway patrol being there. So there was a mild traffic jam.

[kolamum]

Yep, but mine normally lets me know, so if he doesn't I tend to get panicky.

[Laura Corin]

Not really.  Especially at that time of night - Husband would not want to disturb me if I had already gone to bed.

[kewb]

No, I wouldn't expect a call for half an hour. I would assume traffic or chatting with a coworker.

My dh never had a set schedule. Work until the work is done. My evenings were never planned around him.

If he told me he was going to be home at a set time and he was going to be later then I would expect a text or a call once he knew he would be late.

[creekland]

My guy has learned to give me a call to let me know what is going on as his schedule is not consistant at all.  We both know way too many people involved in nasty car accidents to not be that way.  A phone call letting me know when to expect him home (and if that changes) is just part of our routine.

 

I do it for him too if I'm going to be super late.  Since I work at school, my schedule is more predictable and I have a good hour of leeway time for talking, meetings, or whatever, but if I'm going to be later than that I'll call him to let him know.

 

I actually have to remind him NOT to call if he's at a township meeting that will run late and I expect to be in bed before he'll come home.

 

It's not a permission thing - neither of us have to ask for permission.  It's a mental comfort thing due to experiences in our past.

 

It's also helpful if either of us need anything from town before the other comes home.  ;)

[MEmama]

Yes. I'd be sick with worry otherwise.

[lailasmum]

Half an hour no. My dh has normal working hours that end late and I did in the past. Half an hour to an hour difference would be normal. I suppose it depends if it's normal that everyday your dh walks through the door at a certain time and has done for a long time I can see that could be worrying but if there is a little fluctuation I'd not worry about half an hour.

[Farrar]

No, especially not at that hour.

 

The only exceptions would be in a snowstorm I'd want a text that he was okay. Or when my kids were babies. It was just impossible to get them to sleep most of the time and they were such a handful... It was excruciating when he was late no matter what time for about a year.

[Jasperstone]

No way- that would wake me! Lol!

[Farrar]

This is interesting to see the huge variance in responses. Clearly it just boils down to expectations in the individual relationship.

[The Girls' Mom]

Not really.  If he were going to be over an hour late, sure, or if he knew we had specific plans at a specific time.  This comes from 15+ years of him working a job that had him coming home at all hours, without prior notice of what those hours would be.  

[lionfamily1999]

The lateness of the hour would make me nervous.  I would want him to call me, but more likely would be the one doing the calling.  

 

Years ago, we set a "call by" time.  If he was going to be gone past 7pm, he had to call home.  For the most part he sticks to it.  If he was out later than that for whatever reason and was more than an hour late without having called, then I would be vacillating between angry and concerned.  He knows that, so he tends to call then too.

[gardenmom5]

if he's never/almost never late, I'd appreciate the heads up so I don't wonder if something happened. I might say something in retrospect, but he'd have to be later with no known obstacles for me to assume he'd be late (re: bad weather) before I'd be really irked.  (but, we've been married since phones had cords -and only wealthy had car phones - and he can be *completely* oblivious to such niceties that I'm used to him not calling.)

[ocelotmom]

I would definitely not want a call that late. I would appreciate a text so I know what is up if I did wake up, but wouldn't get upset over a half hour.

[Guest]

Yes, but only because that is how we've been for the last 16 years. It would be out of the norm for either of us not to.

[Lolly]

half an hour late could be caused by pretty much any minor little blip. I definitely would not expect a call. At that time of night, I wouldn't expect a call unless there was some type of emergency that I needed to know about. I would be asleep.

[Luckymama]

We always text each other when heading home from anywhere.

[Desert Strawberry]

D is often half an hour late. I'd expect he stopped on the way home to pick something up. 

 

More than half an hour, I'd call. It would be unusual, and he has a long, lonely country highway commute. He usually leaves work at 4:30pm, so I don't worry too much. That late at night, if he didn't pick up, I'd call state police to be sure he hadn't had an accident, especially if the weather is bad-which is often is. 

[Reefgazer]

Not really; 1/2 hour is nothing to us.

[Cindy in FL.]

It would depend. If the time he leaves work is consistently the same, then if he didn't arrive home on time I'd be concerned. Especially at night. If I stayed up until he arrived home and he knew I stayed up for that reason, then I think he should call.

[zoobie]

Mine doesn't have a usual "quitting time," but he usually texts as he's going to the car. I try to base dinner prep around that, so when he tells me he's going to the car but doesn't and then doesn't tell me he didn't until it's past time when he should've been home, ugh. Plus with our spirited toddler and baby, I'm very much in countdown to not being the only adult mode. If he were always home at the same time, I would expect a late notice, but that would go both ways.

[horsellian]

I'd definitely say "no"; and I almost had this situation last night.  DH was running a choir rehearsal 8 - 10pm, so I was expecting him home 10.30ish, but he didn't get back until 11 because he needed to talk to a few people about various bits and pieces.  I'd given up waiting at about 10.30, so I was actually asleep by the time he got in!

 

But I don't generally worry about him being 1/2 an hour late, unless we had somewhere specific to be, or I needed him to stay with the kids so I could go out.

[regentrude]

No.

I am used to DH not leaving at a fixed time - he leaves when he has finished what he is working on. If I need to know when he is coming, I call him.

If his regular time coming home would be 11:30pm, I would insist on NOT being called - because I would be asleep and prefer to remain so.

[BigMamaBird]

I can set a clock by the times DH gets home from work, so if he were a half hour late I would be slightly concerned. If he were coming home at 11:30 pm and was a half hour late I would probably be quite concerned. I quick text or call letting you know is polite and would be appreciated.

[Laurie4b]

Only if he arrived home "on time" like clockwork. In that case 1/2 hour might worry me. However, I'm not sure about whether it would or not because dh doesn't arrive home at any predictable time. If I want to know when he estimates coming home, I call him to find out.

[Alice]

I probably would because it would be very out of the ordinary for him to get home that much later than usual. But if his schedule varied I probably wouldn't worry. I appreciate a call anyway because the norm for us is to all eat dinner together when he gets home so it's nice to know if that will be delayed.  

 

My dh didn't have a cell phone until about 4 years ago. There was this big snowstorm in DC that hit right at rush hour. People were stuck in traffic for 8 hours or more. He works only about 15 minutes from our house. He got home about 5 hours later than usual. I knew there was a storm and had heard traffic was nightmarish and I knew he couldn't call me. So I tried not to worry too much but I kept thinking the worst. I gave the kids dinner and put them to bed acting like it was normal for dh to be 2 hours, 3 hours late. I remember praying that he was safe. About 15 minutes after I prayed I got a call from a guy who said "Hi. This is so and so, your husband asked me to call you and say he was safe." Dh had finally gotten out of the car and knocked on a car window of someone and handed them a piece of paper with our home number on it and asked them to call his wife. He got home several hours alter. The next day I made him get a cell phone. :) 

[lllll]

..

[bolt.]

Nope. Sleeping. Call only if you need something.

[SparklyUnicorn]

1/2 hour no, but he often does call for that amount of time.  His time home tends to range by about half an hour.  So sometimes he is home by 5:30 or as late as 6.  Usually on the late nights it is because he stopped for gas.  If it were more than that, I'd appreciate a call. 

 

 

[ScoutTN]

It would be nice to recieve such a call. It's not going to happen. Now, if dh is going to be hours late he will call.

This. 12 years onto our marriage and DH still doesn't call when he is late, except when he is about 10 minutes from home.

[JustEm]

Hmm that depends on what you mean by half-hour late😠my dh is supposed to get off work at 9:30 and he only works a mile away from home. I've learned this actually means 10 because he always has something else to do after his last class is over. So if he were ever later than 10 I would expect a text. He usually sends one unless he is talking to his boss.

[QueenCat]

Call at that hour and wake me up? No way. Text me so that if I wake up, I can go downstairs and see the text, yes, for more than an hour late. Up to an hour late is within normal. He doesn't work nights anymore so he usually will call if he's running late but we don't text while driving so he couldn't do that once he's on the road. I'll call him if I find out there's an accident on his way home so he can re-route himself before he hits the mess.

[ErinE]

If his regular time to come home is 11:30, I wouldn't want to be called if he's 30 minutes late. If the time stretches to an hour or more, I'd appreciate, but wouldn't expect a text. If I woke up alone and it was 1:30 am with no notification, I would be worried.

[AimeeM]

Nope. He is USUALLY home by 5:30, but there have been a number of times that it's something like a meeting running over, a call into the office, a conference call... things that he couldn't call home in advance about, but that causes him to be "late". It isn't a big deal for me - I'll keep dinner waiting, the kids tided over with a snack, etc.

He always calls if his plans have changed after work - if so-and-so is in from out of country and they want to go catch a game. 

[fraidycat]

I'd want at least a text if I was expecting him at a certain time.

 

For the most part I never know when to expect him home because of erratic schedule, so he usually just texts when he's leaving.

[Jenrae]

If his normal time to get home was 11:30 pm, no, I would not want a call, but I would want a text sent so that if I woke up and he was not home, I would know whether or not to be concerned.

 

Typically my husband does call me if he is going to leave work later than the standard time. This has been our arrangement for years so I can time dinner being ready for shortly after his arrival. He also calls as he's leaving work and asks if I need anything from the store. So typically I know when his arrival will be.

[Plink]

Nope. 30 min late is no big deal.

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

My DH is a police officer. He usually gets home at 11:30 and if he's going to be late, or thinks he might be, he sends a quick text. If he didn't I'd worry. The one time he was late and didn't text was when he was in the ER after a drunk driver tried to run him over. (He wasn't seriously injured thankfully.) I had tried calling and texting with no answer and was definitely getting worried. Of course, the worry wasn't helped much by the fact that I had been watching an episode of Criminal Minds where someone was ambushing and killing cops....

[Tess in the Burbs]

I hate when dh tells me a time and an hour passes. An hour allows him time to get the next bus. But no call or Text?? Oh I get upset. He's better now, but its happened.

[SproutMamaK]

Depends on what our usual plan was. If I were the type to stay up for him and then we'd chat for a few minutes and go to bed together, yes I'd probably want a call. If we usually spent our time together during the day and I was generally already in bed when he got home, though... no I definitely wouldn't want a call, lol.

[Chelli]

Not for being 30 minutes late. An hour or more, yes, but not 30 minutes.