Janeway Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I bought a cemetery plot today. Background is, I had originally planned to be buried in the cemetery where my grandparents, great grandparents, gr gr grandparents, aunts and uncles, and so on have all been buried. It goes back a few generations. My parents had planned to be buried there. Things sure cost less there as it is in the middle of no where farmland type area. But when my mom died, she ended up being buried here, near where I live now. Then when my dad died, all I could think was that I wanted to be buried where he was buried. I did tons of calling around and was not able to get a plot. Everything was sold out in that cemetery and the next one over and within a several mile radius. I asked them to keep my name and call me if anything opens up. For the last two years, I followed up on a regular basis. Then, I was at a funeral this past weekend and spoke to the person about it, which is the funeral director who did everyone else's funerals. He said he has not seen anything come available in years (which I already knew) but he would remember to call me if anything came up. He called today. $10,000 for 4 spaces. I said yes. I know how lucky I am. I also know I am not young and if I do not do this, my children will be strapped with making these arrangements later, which I can tell you is a painful process. BUT, I still feel incredible anxiety. I will go in Monday to pay him and sign the papers. Please talk to me and say whatever you say. Logically, I know this is the right thing. Emotionally, this is hard. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 Sometimes the practicalities of life are weird feeling. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scbusf Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I can't imagine how I would feel! But good for you for taking care of this now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 That's a very reasonable price and it's going to make things so much less stressful for your loved ones when the time comes. Not to mention less expensive. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 Oh, good for you for taking care of this. It will be so much easier for everyone later when it becomes necessary. Everyone dies eventually, and so having a cemetery plot is not really morbid -- it's smart and practical! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I have been thinking of this myself lately. It's complicated for us because we do not live where we plan to retire, so I don't know the best way to handle that. Since you know where you want burial plots, it only seems wise to do that. Good for you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I think one of the most thoughtful acts is to make arrangements now rather than having the kids do it. Dh parents did that, and mine have as well even for me. I don't find it sad. It's extremely condiderate to make preparations now so that there is no added stress for our loved ones. Grieving while finding plots is a terrible experience. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I'm glad you were able to get them where your parents are instead of having to be away from them. You will be glad and less anxious in time. We own lots for the first time in our lives, and it did feel weird at first. I don't really think about it now. We moved here 1.5 years ago, and my grandparents had two extra lots in a cemetery in the area. My dad signed them over to us recently. It's not the same cemetery as my grandparents nor my mother and where my dad will be buried, but it is all in the same town. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 2 hours ago, crazyforlatin said: I think one of the most thoughtful acts is to make arrangements now rather than having the kids do it. Dh parents did that, and mine have as well even for me. I don't find it sad. It's extremely condiderate to make preparations now so that there is no added stress for our loved ones. Grieving while finding plots is a terrible experience. My in-laws finally picked which moratorium they prefer (after much nagging from FIL’s siblings) and made the payment. Thank goodness for that. My dad has showed me the paperwork for his and my mom’s so I know which paperwork to use as proof if needed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 4 hours ago, Junie said: Oh, good for you for taking care of this. It will be so much easier for everyone later when it becomes necessary. Everyone dies eventually, and so having a cemetery plot is not really morbid -- it's smart and practical! 2 hours ago, crazyforlatin said: I think one of the most thoughtful acts is to make arrangements now rather than having the kids do it. Dh parents did that, and mine have as well even for me. I don't find it sad. It's extremely condiderate to make preparations now so that there is no added stress for our loved ones. Grieving while finding plots is a terrible experience. I agree with all of this. This is a gift for your loved ones left behind. ❤️ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 Today's curious fact - burial plots in Scotland are called lairs. I've always liked that image. 11 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I think it’s great that you did this. Ours are purchased too, but that is because we bought plots next to FIL’s plot when our baby died. It is in my directives to bury me there. I do like the thought that when dh and I die, our kids do not have to scramble to find a plot or pay for it. I think all of these types of decisions feel stressful; a lot of people also have trouble with doing wills or making directives because, obviously, it causes you to think of a future where you are dead or ill. But I think of it as a gift I’m giving to my family in the future. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I think when it’s done, you’ve paid and walked away, you’ll feel relief. We’ve had ours since 2001 when our daughter died. I was 24. It was weird to think about then. These days I’m leaning towards cremation but I don’t like the idea of her body being alone and we are no longer practicing Catholics. I think it would be a nice spot for my parents and they belong to that church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 Think of it as a real estate investment. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I have my plots already. Small local rural township cemetery. Room for me and all of my kids. Kinda weird it will be next to ex husband and his parents and family but I don’t care…..it will give historians something to talk about in the future. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 36 minutes ago, Pawz4me said: Think of it as a real estate investment. Anyone else thinking of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 When my dad died, my mom bought a total of four plots in the very rural cemetery where most of his family is buried. Obviously, my mom will be buried beside my dad someday, but the other two are open. There are more plots available, but it's weird and kind of nice to know that is taken care of. That cemetery has one of the most peaceful surroundings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianthus Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I bought 4 plots when I was 25 when my Dad died. I had no kids yet, just me and dh. I have no idea where the paperwork is. I need to keep well and not die until I find it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 It's wonderful you were able to buy four plots for that price. Forward thinking and planning is always best. Were you able to see the plots when you were there? I think it would be a bit anxiety provoking to be standing on the spot where I knew I would one day be laid to rest. But, on the other hand, it would also be comforting. Knowing things were taken care of and my family wouldn't have to stress over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyx4 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 3 hours ago, BlsdMama said: We’ve had ours since 2001 when our daughter died. I was 24. It was weird to think about then. These days I’m leaning towards cremation but I don’t like the idea of her body being alone and we are no longer practicing Catholics. I think it would be a nice spot for my parents and they belong to that church. A women shared with me that when she passes there is paperwork to move the baby to the mom's plot. The baby is currently in the "baby" section of the cemetery. I didn't ask any questions so I don't know how it's done but I thought the idea was very sweet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 DH and I have funeral plots and a stone. We lost several babies and put their names on the stone as well as our names. They were cremated and will probably end up there too. It's a very old, very beautiful cemetary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 My mom purchased a plot next to her husband. Sadly, she also isn't going to be leaving behind any money for the rest of the burial costs. It is so expensive in our area. Dh and I will be stuck with it, so I informed my sister and brother - who will not be contributing - that she will have to be cremated, and we will just pay for the simplest headstone/ engraved marker. By the time she passes, burial even direct burial without preservation will cost $8500.00. It is upwards of $12,000-15,000 if embalming and a funeral with a luncheon is done. Rural area with very few funeral homes so they can charge huge prices due to lack of competition. So if you can, prepay all of the other things like grave opening and closing, crypt, headstone, whatever you can if you want to be buried relieving the family of that burden or having to make the choice to possibly not even use the plot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 4 hours ago, Pawz4me said: Think of it as a real estate investment. That’s true. My in-laws have to pay much more and have less choices to pick from last year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 This is a good reminder for us all. DH and I are the worst with this and we've just been too busy to deal with it. We've never even talked about any of it. If something were to happen to either of us we wouldn't even know if the other person has a preference for cremation vs burial. I think we both tend to live in the present more than most. That comes with strengths and weaknesses. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 Worst case scenario you end up cremating everyone and the plot can be sold for a tremendous profit by the heirs. Best case scenario your loved ones can spend their grief celebrating your life instead of stressing over funding how to bury you. win win. good job and a good deal💕👍 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 FIL died in January. He owned a plot which was passed down to him from his grandfather. 70 years ago, his grandfather bought a set of 8 plots. Both of FIL's grandparents, his uncle, his brother, and his mother are all interned there. When I called to make the arrangements, I had 2 plots to choose from. I asked the director to describe the layout to me and who was in each spot. It turned out that the spot next to FIL's mother (so my DH's grandmother) was open and that's the one I chose. I had an immediate urge to run out and buy a set of plots. First, it blessed us that we didn't have to make this purchase. Second, it was so sweet to think of this family all together. FIL's mother had been divorced in an era where that was shameful. He grew up living with his grandparents, mother, and brother. And in the end, they are all back together. There's something very sweet about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 (edited) In Maine, we can establish a family burial ground on our own land. One needs a permit from the town and you have to fence it in. Of course, one would have to hire equipment to dig the grave, but otherwise much cheaper. Easements remain for access for the family if the property is sold. We are going to do this on our land for those who want a traditional burial rather than the scattering of ashes. But as to the question of being weirded out by pre-buying one's own plot. I give you Ruthann from Northern Exposure. This particular clip does not include the part where Ed reveals he has purchased a burial plot on (on a bluff with a great view) for her birthday present. At first, she is surprised, but in the clip below she figures out a way to makes the most of the odd gift. (Unfortunately, this is a very short clip and the only one I could find now. The original is so sweet with the gifting and the dance). Edited February 17, 2023 by Kalmia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I loved Northern Exposure, and I am so sad it's not (and never will be) on any streaming services. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 DH's grandfather bought a big family plot several years ago, something like 8 or 10 spots for all of us. It felt odd. Like, this is very generous and thank you for doing this for everyone, but also...please don't bury me in Texas. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildflowerMom Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 I think you did a good thing, but it’s certainly not a comforting thing to think about. Your children will definitely thank you one day, though! 💛 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 When I married to xh we had enough spots where FIL was buried for all of us. But of course I don’t want to be buried there now. My mom’s FOO are buried in that area but she and my Step dad want to be cremated…..so I will be too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Many people get cremated and bury the urn at the plot. People will have an open casket funeral and get cremated and then bury the urn at the plot with a tombstone. Not very cost effective but it happens more than you think. Side bonus for the next dead person is the casket that held the body can’t be sold as new so ask for a discount on any previously used caskets if they have any. It occurs to me that I know way more than I want to about dead bodies and how they get buried and how to save money. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 55 minutes ago, Murphy101 said: Many people get cremated and bury the urn at the plot. People will have an open casket funeral and get cremated and then bury the urn at the plot with a tombstone. Not very cost effective but it happens more than you think. Side bonus for the next dead person is the casket that held the body can’t be sold as new so ask for a discount on any previously used caskets if they have any. It occurs to me that I know way more than I want to about dead bodies and how they get buried and how to save money. I seem to know way too much too. Last time I called the cremation the director recognized my voice and called me by name. You can also do direct cremation and totally skip the funeral home. You can buy an urn on Amazon. Our local cemetery allows 6 cremains per site or one casket and 1 cremain. you can also plan a funeral and skip the funeral home for that as well. And write the obituaries yourself and …… Can you tell I have assisted with a lot of very low cost funerals/cremations? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Its sort like thinking ahead and writing a will. Dh and I are thinking about doing the same.thing as we went through issues with siblings after we lost parents. We don't want our children to go through the same headaches dealing with everyone emotions everything will be in writing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Murphy101 said: Many people get cremated and bury the urn at the plot. People will have an open casket funeral and get cremated and then bury the urn at the plot with a tombstone. Not very cost effective but it happens more than you think. Side bonus for the next dead person is the casket that held the body can’t be sold as new so ask for a discount on any previously used caskets if they have any. It occurs to me that I know way more than I want to about dead bodies and how they get buried and how to save money. I know a lot about that too. We have a cemetary on our property. I find it comforting to know that I will be buried on the land we've worked for so long. It's like the circle of life. The cemetery was made by the people who lived on our land decades ago. We all come here to live. And then we die. And become a part of the land. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said: We have a cemetary on our property. I find it comforting to know that I will be buried on the land we've worked for so long. It's like the circle of life. The cemetery was made by the people who lived on our land decades ago. We all come here to live. And then we die. And become a part of the land. I love this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 1 minute ago, Kassia said: I love this. Me too. I wish we had something like that available for us. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 On 2/17/2023 at 2:22 AM, Laura Corin said: Today's curious fact - burial plots in Scotland are called lairs. I've always liked that image. That's very Dracula! I'm sort of creeped out now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.