A nearby town has a very active senior center. That senior center offers lots of information for end of life type things. I would suggest you go find something similiar near you and ask lot of legal and medical questions. I would want all the information about medicare and inheritance and lookback and paying for the funeral and anything else so that I was over prepared. Best to get advice from people that have BTDT. If you dad passes first and your mom still is alive she could quickly remarry, change the will and leave everything to her new spouse. 🙄 I'm trying to making a joke out of a very crappy situation.....

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry that family can be difficult. IMHO I preferred it when obituaries where just the facts. When my name is listed in an obituary as a family member it seems so strange to me that some of the paragraphs written don't reflect my relationship or life experinces with the deceased. However, I have never asked anyone to change anything in a more flowery obituary. I definitely do not want a flowery obituary for myself.

My college aged guys just cashed their bonds in this January. The filled out the form linked below and mailed in the bonds. One requested a check and the other requested direct deposit. They will be using the money for tuiton/student loans. The form says you need a certified signature for more than $1000. My guys just sent in two forms/two envelopes mailed about a month apart with each envelope totally under $1000 and everything went smoothly. https://www.treasurydirect.gov/forms/sav1522.pdf

There is a vet near ish me that went to school at St. Kitts. She's nearing retirement age so a different experience than your dd I know her family paid for all her education. When her kids were younger her husband travelled a ton for his job. So, she worked for a vet in his office mostly regular hours so that she could pick up her kids. At that point, she liked surgery best of all the things she did in the office. He liked surgery the least so that was a good fit professionally. I don't know if she ever considered going into business with and/or buying the bussiness when that vet retired. He was older than her. I know that financially she would have been able to because of her family of origin's finances. When her kids were school aged she went into business for herself. She makes house calls. The majority of her work is new litters and euthanasia. She does very well financially. She's always busy because she doesn't seem to have any competition. She has mentioned from time to time that it's hard to start a new practice or to buy an existing practice but she's not really elaborated on that.

Look for a First Tee in you area. It might be worth a bit of a drive. Generally, affordable and accessible for non-golf families. https://firsttee.org/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA75itBhA6EiwAkho9e7Vy--SSrUiJ3s7FS0JhOHRLFtfu2OIBDKeAnPiITRqowopJ61fTJRoCyBQQAvD_BwE

We've changed our will over the years. Can you maybe just concentrate on making the will workable for the next 5 or 10 years? Then plan to rewrite the will as the children grow and life changes.

I'm not an IT personal at all but there's an IT person in my social circle. My limited understanding is that most companies are paying the ransom to keep their data from become public. The nearest community college, medium size city and a police station have all paid the ransom. I don't understand why 23andMe didn't negotiate with the hackers? The company absolutely had to have know that personal information would be released if they didn't work something out.

I've put two elastics on the crockpot. Put it around the handle on the right side and then on the knob of the lid. Repeat for the left side. Practice with the crockpot empty to find the right size elastics. When I arrive, I take the elastics off and put them on the handle of my serving utensiles, so I know I'm taking the right utensiles home. Good luck!

I'm not sure if this will help because I'm unclear on how much your family (you and dh and kids) do together beside the two annual vacations? Do you get some fun in during each month? I understand self-employment. I also have dear friends that live on a farm where the whole extended family lives. However, the houses are built around the farm not next door to each other. I created a funny word/phrase/rhyme for when I want us to do something just dh & me and the kids. That phrase means we're going to do something fun with just us and everyone needs to be there. We all vote on the day, time, cost, event, thing we're going to do. I have older kids, so with school and sports and work etc. I try to plan something every 6-8 weeks or so. It doesn't need to be expensive, it just needs to be just us. (I didn't create this till after the toddler pre-school years were over.) For a long list of reasons, dh had a hard time doing something fun. He was very, very reluctant at first. But I was very matter of fact about it . It way past time for our family unit to create some funny happy memories. In our younger days, he was adamant that "there would be no vacations, even stay-cations." I understand his foo and understand why he said those things. It took alot to get him to move away from that position and he regrets ever saying that. Not that you mentioned this but are you and dh able to get out and do something fun just the two of you? My dh took even longer to come around to this idea also but now we'll do something probably every other weekend. (Doesn't have to be expensive.) When I insisted we start going out it was another long drawn out debate but it probably saved our marriage.

We bought a 3 bedroom 1.5 bath and lived in that for about 8 years or so. Then when the kids were 6-16 we built a master bedroom over the garage because our biggest problem became having only one shower. It's not a huge bedroom but it allowed us to add a full bath. Having a second shower is heavenly. (A second shower was not something I had even considered when they were little.) At first they shared the original two bedrooms. Currently, they share the three original bedrooms. I'm not addressing any of your other questions but I do want to add they don't all leave at 18 and as they get older they get more explensive. There are expense that you might not be thinking about when they are still little. My grocery bill a month is equal to my mortage. And yes, we pack, cook from scratch, don't eat out etc.... When they were little I would have never imagined my current grocery bill.

Not what what you're asking but maybe it will help.... I'm treasurer for a group. There are three names on the account. So mine, plus two more members. When I first volunteer as treasurer it "reset" something in the banking? So, the account still has the same account number but I couldn't see electronically the month before I started volunteering. But here's the weird thing.... My name goes on the account in June. I go into the bank in July and ask questions....what was the car wash deposit in May? What did the group spent on tshirts in April? The bank person answered all my questions. The next time I went in to ask questions the bank person offered to print statments from March, April, May etc. I would suggest going to the bank soon and pretenting you're just disorganized and see what they'll let you have.... In my state, my friends have had the "xh contributes to half of college for the children" written in the divorce. However, it's basically unenforceable in this state.

I have just one kid less than you, so I get it.😜 You're doing a good job. I'm unsure of the age of your youngest but can you get 30m or so to yourself before bed? Can you nudge everyone to stay in their rooms by 9:00 and then you've got an hour to yourself? Please don't use this time for chores or paperwork. I know it's hard but try to think of something just for you. A good book, podcast, dark chocolate.... I co-slept forever and mine have always shared rooms with each other so it took a bit to get to the point of getting everyone in their rooms by 9:00 but it helped my sanity so very very much.

Way off topic....but someone mentioned what gets stolen in a small town... Dh sent our newest teen driver to recycle alumium. Ds took his own vehicle. Ds was told they couldn't buy alumium from anyone under 18 due to theft. Dh called and spoke to the owner. She said it's a rule/law/licensing issue in the town where the recycling facility sits. She did say if ds was wearing company clothing and driving the work truck to just ask for her and she'll take the recycling. She knows dh. Our older guys had often done this chore when they were under 18.

Do you have a senior center? They might be able to direct you to sources you haven't tried yet. I'm in a small town and just peeked at their website. Today's list offers help with medicare appeals, fuel assistance paperwork, the health insurance counselor's office hours, the veteran's agent office hours, date for distribution of fresh groceries, a church that offers free dinners, and the food pantry hours.

In the fall I was sent to a vascular surgeon. I wrote down that he suggested "endovenous therapy" I've done the stockings and elevating, etc. It's still about the same amount of achiness now as it was in the fall. I'm a super wimp about any medical procedures. I'm considering have it done........I searched the boards and there is a thread from 2016 that was helpful. If anyone has any recent updates I would really appreciate if you shared. Thanks!