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Everything posted by Kalmia

  1. Well, I am glad I'm not the only one. For the past two weeks, I have been getting more "suggested for you" posts than ever and they have mostly been people doing stupid stuff (like epic fail stuff or hold my beer kinds of stunts) or for things I have absolutely no interest in but people who do stupid stuff would probably like. No anti-vax propaganda, yet (I have enough of those from one of the nurses I am FB friends with!) I have been methodically clicking 'hide all from "misc. stupid poster"', but that hasn't eliminated the recent onslaught. I will try the "most recent" button, thanks pp! In terms of spooks, I was very concerned last week about this; I googled "needhams candy" on my home computer at home because my father would like some for his birthday. Later that week I went into work and opened the shared computer only to find three links to recipes for needhams (complete with mouthwatering photos) popping up on the bottom of the search screen. I don't consider needhams default kinds of things that would pop up on just any computer. Somehow "they" are following me all around town with their suggestions! Glad I wasn't googling something like "comfortable underwear"! Nobody needs to see that at work!
  2. I really like UCSF's lectures. Especially Sugar: The Bitter Truth by professor of pediatrics, Robert H. Lustig. This is one that really helped me a lot in understanding the biochemical/physiological effects of sugar, especially fructose. He does make a joke at the very beginning with some innuendo, but the rest is science. https://www.uctv.tv/shows/sugar-the-bitter-truth-16717
  3. I had a dual major in anthropology and environmental studies when I was in college. I credit cultural anthropology, especially reading ethnographies, with blowing my worldview wide open. Human beings are so inventive. For thousands upon thousands of years, people on the earth have had to invent different lifeways in order to solve the problem of survival and the problem of getting along (or not) with one another. For every problem, there have been hundreds of solutions: different ways of procuring food, different conceptions of time, different religions, different means of entertainment and different concepts of leisure, different social structures, different means of engaging in or heading off conflict, different art forms, different songs and dances, different ways of raising children. When you immerse yourself in the different functional strategies and think of them as "strategies" rather than as "superstitions" or "wrong ways of living" or "quaint customs", you may find yourself in awe of the multiplicity of human genius. I know I also found myself much less ready to believe my own culture was somehow "right" knowing that if my people had lived in a different place they would have had to contend with different issues (climate, geography, food sources, neighboring people, etc.) and would have developed different solutions and that as outsiders (the anthropologist is only a participant observer, after all) can gain great insight into a culture not their own, but there are things they can never truly understand and nor can we.
  4. It sounds like with your schedule, writing cards to elders in the nursing home as someone mentioned above might be the one that fits in the spare minutes you have. You can imagine their happiness upon getting a card. Also military servicemen and servicewomen enjoy getting mail. You want something small right now that will fulfill you, not something that will overwhelm you.
  5. I would not bring a new man into the house until my daughter had a apartment/home of her own (which would be in like 5 years or so). I would certainly not "date" as in go out with strangers to see if I am compatible with them. And, although I know it has worked for some, online dating is absolutely not for me. I am very independent but have spent decades reining in my aspirations (travel, horse-ownership, lazy days spent daydreaming, writing more novels) caring for my two not easy-going children and my not easy-going husband and will certainly be doing a lot of elder care in the future. So I would not spend any time TRYING to find a match out there among people I haven't met, because I can be perfectly happy by myself doing the things I haven't yet gotten to do. I also have a number of female friends who are also adventurous and would certainly travel, ride, or daydream with me. However, I have had many close male friends (just friends) throughout my life and some nice ex-boyfriends whom I would consider getting to know again in a romantic way if they were also divorced or widowers. They are known quantities, each with a period of shared history with me. I already love them (non-romantically) and for several of them I have watched them grow up from teen to middle aged adult and know they are of good character. Thus, I could see myself as a widow finding love at my 50th high school reunion, for example. The problem of course is that I will never ever live outside my home state again, I am firmly rooted here, and my male friends are scattered far and wide all over the country and the world. And while I would travel to visit and maybe have a romantic tryst, even if we got along well, there is no guarantee any of them would uproot themselves to move where I live... and those frequent flights to, say, Australia would eat up my retirement funds pretty quickly!
  6. My dd, a rising senior in high school, is interested in lab sciences (forensics and medical) as her major and leaning strongly toward forensics. She does not want to go to school in the south (where many of the top forensic science programs are). She is looking at Loyola University in Chicago (where my aunt lives) and John Jay College of Criminal Justice (in NYC where my BILs and SIL and some close friends live). Loyola is right where she is at in terms of her stats. Anyone have any experience with either of these schools in general? Any other northern schools with forensic science degrees we should consider?
  7. Stay away from Clairol Nice & Easy. It used to be my go-to brand, but then they "improved" the formula and now anywhere it splatters it dyes your skin for days. The other brands' splatters don't tend to do that. Put some kind of petroleum jelly or beeswax lotion bar on the skin next to your hairline and around your ears. Dedicate a set of clothes to coloring. Put down a tarp. Stay away from walls. Make sure the solution is fully mixed (some of the more creamy ones take a lot of shaking). If you start dark, it will be next to impossible to go lighter without bleaching or letting it all grow out and starting over.
  8. Have to agree with Corraleno. Infantilizing. There are precious few places where one can come for intellectual discussion about homeschooling, academics, and other issues of importance. The WTM is one of them. To have Clapping Hands! and Badges! (Gee Whiz! What will they come up with next?) degrades the image that this is a serious forum. Post count was an adequate way to judge people's participation over time. One year badges for people who have been here 20 years is both erroneous and insulting. Plus the annoying clapping hands are blocking parts of people's avatars, for example, one of MercyA's avatar's legs has been amputated!
  9. That is horrifying. I feel so upset on your son's behalf. And so sorry that the school staff betrayed your trust. There's a reason that so many special needs families (mine included) homeschool.
  10. We live in rural Maine. We don't lock our doors.
  11. I am getting my dad a trail camera, hopefully so he can capture some images of the bobcat he's only gotten a fleeting glance at and whatever other wildlife passes by. Unfortunately, my parents don't have a pond or stream on their property, I have noticed that the log over the stream or pond-side view cameras are the best sited for wildlife watching. My husband had a bad relationship with his own father and doesn't really celebrate Father's Day. When the kids were young, they made him cards.
  12. I am GenX and the hairdresser I went to as as a 16-18 year old was openly gay. I don't remember thinking a thing about it (other than he was the only one who could cut my hair right) despite the fact the the general school culture during my teenage years was somewhat homophobic (mostly using the word "gay" as an insult).
  13. I third all of this !!! Massachusetts is the only place I can think of that meets all your criteria.
  14. Fluorescent lights trigger my infrequent migraines and caused my daughter to have to leave school many times with migraines caused by the fluorescent lighting. LED lighting is not better for either of us. That one gives me a strobe effect, so badly that if someone were to wave their hand while talking to me in a certain restaurant their shine of their wedding ring would "persist" across the arc. I was definitely one of those people that considered hoarding cases and cases of incandescent light bulbs when there were plans for removing them from sale and only allowing fluorescent bulbs. If they do go through with that (though I suppose for LEDs) I will stockpile, though it might be impossible to stockpile a lifetimes' worth!
  15. Gas not only effects the larger environment. It affects your indoor air quality. "Yet the EPA’s own science shows that homes with gas stoves have around 50 percent, ranging up to over 400 percent, higher levels of NO2 than homes with electric stoves. Concentrations can often exceed US outdoor pollution standards." David Roberts "During the hour I was cooking and baking” with a gas stove, he says, NO2 concentrations spiked “close to 200 ppb.” Though concentrations died down afterward, they averaged 140 pub to 150 ppb over the course of the hour, well in excess of the US outdoor NO2 standard of 100 ppb for one-hour exposure." David Lu quoted https://www.vox.com/energy-and-environment/2020/5/7/21247602/gas-stove-cooking-indoor-air-pollution-health-risks
  16. I came across The Well-Trained Mind, first edition, when my friend was considering homeschooling her children. I bought it for her and we took turns reading it. She ended up sending her kids to school. I sent mine for three years, but it was very clear that with his high-functioning ASD, he was somehow going to be ahead of the others academically but constantly punished and shamed for his inability to intuit proper attitudes and behaviors, so I remembered WTM and homeschooling and pulled him from school. Best decision ever. My friend, Captain Uhura began homeschooling as well. According to my profile, I joined the forum in 2011, but I feel like I must have lurked before that. I really appreciated all the in-depth critiques of curriculum and spent loads of money. Story of the World, Writing with Ease, Singapore Math and later Math Mammoth, Michael Clay Thompson, Spell to Write and Read and later Logic of English, One Year Adventure Novel, Killgallon and Image Grammar, K-12 History Odessy, all these favorites and more came to our homeschool as a result of this board. I happily went to the Royal Fireworks Press conference during which I met a number of boardies and SWB IRL, amazing women (and some men). I remember when the forum was much more contentious. I think some of the more contentious individuals left because it was so contentious (?) and formed their own group elsewhere. The board has been much milder since then. I particularly remember being amazed by a post about putting a barrier on a beach so that girls could play on one side and boys on the other for modesty reasons. I definitely learned a lot more about people with completely different worldview than mine and that has served me very well in terms of being a less black-and-white thinker. I do miss the epic intellectual threads that had very serious posters such as Esther Maria in them. It was great to participate in such intellectual discussions. And I miss the vintage books fad that seems to have burned out. I found so many gorgeous, sweet nature books by looking back 100 years! Now that I am done homeschooling, I still read the chat board and am thankful for the richness the people on this forum have brought to my life.
  17. I am an outlier. I have zero interest in decorating trends. My rooms are painted white or off-white. The walls are lined with lots of bookcases. The open spaces on the walls are filled with oil and acrylic paintings painted by family and friends, one wall quilt made by a friend, my husband's tae kwon do black belt certificates and awards, my kids' artwork, and my own framed photography. The windows have shades but no curtains (we like to see the outdoors). The beds are topped with quilts made by my mother. The floors are the original 1800s wood floors complete with almost two-hundred years of scratches. There are no rugs (the cats just barf on them). The furniture is an eclectic mix of mission, shaker, and hand-me-down (I want sturdy long-lasting furniture that is actually made out of wood--shaker and mission give me that, also the cats shred anything upholstered). My easel and art supplies have their own corner and look quite inviting. For "decorative knick-knacks" I have hundreds of interesting things I've collected in nature over the past 52 years: interesting rocks, driftwood, pine cones, shells, specimens of lichen, acorns, dried mushrooms, etc. The only things I purchased in order to decorate were four glass teardrop-shaped prisms that hang in the windows and decorate the house with rainbows. So I say fill your home with things that have meaning to you, that reflect your hobbies, remind you of people you care about, remind you of places you have been, and choose colors you like. In such a personalized house, nothing can be dated, it will be uniquely reflective of your whole life. Edited to add: I might accidentally be trendy! There is macrame on the sunporch! An macrame owl I made in Brownies when I was seven that I gave to my grandmother and that was on her porch until she passed away and was returned to me, which despite being made by me, reminds me of her.
  18. If it were my son, I would be supportive if the goal were to get a position in a small suburban, exurban, or rural area and live in the community he polices. Usually these areas have lower crime plus the calls they go on would be more diverse (river rescues, cows in the road, along with the drug situations, etc.) I would also be on the lookout for academies that are actively changing with the times and trying to train "peace officers" rather than "police officers," such as our Academy up here in Vassalboro, Maine (I am friends with the person in charge of training there). In Maine, applicants must have their bachelors degree before attending the academy, so that would be something I would encourage. They really need officers that are fluent in foreign languages. From what my friend has said the number one problem with potential recruits recently has been fitness. A huge number of applicants fail the fitness test, which is extremely rigorous and required for entry. So advise your son to get into an intense daily fitness regime (that includes climbing over barriers!) to prepare and to maintain close to his ideal weight. My friend also said that the recent and justified criticism of police that has extended to become a blanket hatred of all police from some segments is very discouraging and morale crushing to his recruits, so your son should think through how he will handle the mental health demands of his profession and be open to and not afraid of therapy if he ever needs it. It would also be good to cultivate activities now that will serve him later to maintain an inner calm, for some that might be yoga, for others fly fishing, or whatever brings him peace. I also agree with a previous poster that martial arts training is an excellent thing to start or continue now. Edited to add: My MIL saw many police officers in her family therapy psychology practice in Staten Island, NY (pre 9-11). She would definitely warn your son that the toll on marriages is extremely high. Being a wife (or husband) of a police officer means living in constant fear. Also, she said male police officers (she didn't see any female police officers) often came into counseling with her because their marriages were breaking up because the officers had been cheating or drinking. Here is a profile of a Bangor, Maine police officer that is working to integrate humor into his community policing. https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2016/08/30/meet-officer-behind-the-bangor-maine-police-departments-viral-facebook-page Here is the FB page he blogs on be aware that his most recent spring post is about the return of the um... exhibitionists in town, but hey, if your kid is going to be a police officer, soon enough he will have seen it all: https://www.facebook.com/bangormainepolice
  19. If you were born between 1963 and 1967 (and in my case 1969!) you may need a measles booster. They only gave one shot back then and it could have been one of two types of vaccine, one of which has shown to give no immunity.. My mom has my card and I was given one dose of the vaccine. I had a titer done two years ago and it showed no immunity. So I had a MMR shot. So if you are anywhere in the range of years get a titer done. https://www.forbes.com/sites/suzannerowankelleher/2019/04/20/born-in-the-1960s-the-cdc-says-you-may-need-a-measles-shot-before-traveling/?sh=26d4b6da47bf
  20. We are in a similar situation with my husband's beloved 2004 Honda Accord (boy, those things last). It has always had electrical problems (bad year for Honda Accords) and the battery is often drained. There have been many many jump starts in its long life. It cannot be counted on to start on any given day. Now it is doing some strange jerking hesitating thing when pushing the gas pedal for which it is going to the garage on Friday. During the past year having one of our cars be unreliable has not really been a problem. But now we are getting vaccinated and my elderly MIL is desperate for one of us to drive to NY to help her for a week a couple of times a year. I am not comfortable using public transportation (train, flight) to get there even though we are vaccinated. We have the Accord and a 2019 CRV. We both work from home. We live in a rural area. My son has his license and works nights at the grocery store. I have to drive up to my parents' an hour away once a week. And I do all the errands and take my daughter to in-person school. My daughter would be taking drivers ed this summer if they weren't so backlogged, she will wait until the school year. I feel like having one reliable car and a car that may or may not start is not enough for three drivers, especially if one of them has to be hundreds of miles away tending to an elder every third month. Also, I have felt very constrained. What if I were in a minor accident or ran out of gas, my dh or ds might or might not be able to come get me. If left with the Accord, it might not start on a night when ds needs to get to work. If left with the good CRV, the Accord might die on the side of the road on my way to my parents' house. So I hesitate to go anywhere fun, hiking destinations that I would normally go to or visiting friends within a hour, because there is no guarantee the Accord will start. Because my husband is bonded with the Accord and it is in such bad condition that I am sure it is worth nothing, I told him I have no problem if he wants to keep it, we just have to have an additional car that is reliable. He didn't think the few extra trips we make warrant it, but with the new problem with the stuttering/jerking, he seems to be coming around to reality.
  21. Such a nice and informative person. You should send her a copy of your book as a thank you. She likes horses, so stands to reason she'll also like puppies!
  22. I made an effort to find hardback copies of my favorite children's literature, folk tales, poetry, and fairy tales. I have about 100 nice editions, some illustrated. Those I will keep for reading to my grandchildren if I am lucky enough to get any. I have a few such books my mom saved that she read to my sister and I, and I took great pleasure from sharing "mommy's book from when she was a kid" or "auntie's book from when she was little" with my kids, so I figure my kids will feel the same about sharing the exact same volumes they held when they were little. (I am also saving the books my mom read to me so there can be a "grannie's book from when she was a kid"...followed by: "What? Grannie was a KID!!! No way!") As for curriculum. I am saving: Warriner's English Grammar and Composition (from my own high school years, also used by my children) SWB's The Story of the World and Writing with Ease The Logic of English teachers edition and phonogram cards All of Michael Clay Thompson's books, especially the poetry education books and Ceasar's English+ vocabulary books The Lost Tools of Writing (mostly because of its excellent section in the books and videos on the invention stage) Classical Academic Press' The Art of Argument, Latin for Children & Latin Alive, and if they'd been out when my kids were little I would have and keep CAP's Writing and Rhetoric series (love what I have seen of them) Don and Jenny Killgallon's Worktexts starting with Sentence Composing for Elementary School+ (because it is unique method for looking at sentences)
  23. Life in Armor Metamorphosis Museum Arthropod Abode Exoskeleton Palace
  24. I used to work at a zoo in NYC. People are nuts. The craziest visitor story I have is the man who got into the porcupine enclosure and started shaking the young tree that the porcupine was in. I mean, did he not think it possible he'd shake that porcupine right down on his own head? Luckily the porcupine had a tenacious grip and security came right away.
  25. I have a nice hardback of this. It is so sweet.
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