Holiday Dinner Time

[Dianthus]

I told people dinner is at 5 (but come at 4 for appetizers) because that's dinner time, though earlier than our everyday 6-6:30 time. My mom disagrees with me whenever she is here because she thinks we should eat at 2 or 3 on holidays.  I don't want Thanksgiving lunch, just dinner. What time do you eat?

[1234]

Growing up we always had our Thanksgiving meal at lunch (around noon) and everyone hung out for round two at dinner. So, that’s what I do as an adult with my family now too.

[almondbutterandjelly]

5pm

[Innisfree]

My preference is an earlier (~2:00 ideally) meal on holidays, for a couple of reasons: it’s more “traditional” in our family of long generations, harkening back to my mother’s childhood when dinner was in the middle of the day, and an earlier dinner lets us clean up and relax before the second round of family descends on us after their (supper time) dinner.

In practice, we can’t always do that. Dh usually has to work on Thanksgiving, so we can’t eat until he’s home. Then we have to rush to get ready for the second round. Yuck. I can’t wait for retirement.

Edited November 23, 2022 by Innisfree

[Jean in Newcastle]

I prefer a normal supper time. It’s much better for my blood sugars because I don’t get too low waiting to eat and then  eat too much in response. 

[Ali in OR]

We do about 2:00 or 3:00 for Thanksgiving. Then there's usually some diving into leftovers in the evening.

[KrissiK]

We sit down at 1:00.  We have people coming from a couple hours away, and this gives everyone a chance to eat, visit and still get home at a decent time.

[Lady Florida.]

We've always had holiday meals between 1 and 3, with 2 or 3 being the time in recent years. Dh and I both grew up with that tradition so neither of us had to conform to the other. Holiday meals are usually larger than normal meals so I'd prefer to eat earlier. A heavy meal at our normal dinner time (usually 6 or 6:30) is just not enjoyable. Plus if there are children it gets too close to their bedtime and they get tired and cranky.

We always pick at leftovers if we get hungry later.

[sweet2ndchance]

We do late lunch/ early dinner (2 ish) and then pick at leftovers for actual dinner.

[Jaybee]

We usually eat around 1:00 on Thanksgiving. Then we have leftovers or a snack supper that night. This year, we will be having friends over in the evening for appetizers and desserts around 5:00-5:30, so we will only eat the meal itself at 12:30-1:00. At Christmas, we eat around 6:00 on Christmas Eve, or perhaps later depending on the time of the Christmas Eve service. On Christmas Day, we have monkey bread/eggs/sausage or bacon 8:30-9:00ish. Then we have leftovers for lunch/supper. I don't like to have the holiday meals too much later than the usual meal schedule due to those with young children, whose body clocks are ready at the usual time.

[MEmama]

Regular dinner time.

Non-standard holiday meal times never made sense to me as a kid because either you still have to eat at normal times because you’re hungry and then don’t want an additional meal in between, or you’re not allowed to eat lunch and then feel sick and like not eating at the weirdly designated time. I’m also not one to eat more than I normally would just because there’s extra food, so I spent a lot of holidays just feeling uncomfortably hungry and out of sorts by being forced off regular eating schedules.

[athena1277]

We usually eat between noon and 1pm.  As a kid and as an adult, several people that we are getting together with live an hour or 2 away, so we eat and spend most of the day together.  Then those who have a longer drive home aren’t getting home late in the evening.  

[Storygirl]

We eat a late lunch for Thanksgiving. This year, it will be at 2:00. We often have people who travel 2-3 hours to get here, and this way, they can get home before it's too late in the evening.

After clean up, I am done cooking, and people can feed themselves with leftovers later, when they are hungry. Following my mom's tradition, I make a quiche for breakfast, so it's not too hard to wait until 2:00 for the next meal. We also will have a few appetizers out before the main food is ready.

[Faith-manor]

Ours will be 1 pm. Not only do Mark and I find it uncomfortable to eat large meals after 4 pm, but the elderly moms wilt and are ready for quiet time and bedtime preparations at 8 pm. The young folks will eat on leftovers in the evening. I am not a fan of weird eating times especially when children are involved. Our family always at lunch between noon and 1 pm because that is also when we ate at school. Grandma always insisted on the big holiday meals being at 2:30 or 3, then mom wouldn't let us eat lunch so we wouldn't "ruin our dinner". My brother and I would be feeling nauseous by the time dinner was served, and with 25 people eating, and grandma insisting on sitting down and having everything passed, it would take forever for food to make it to the kid table.

When our children were old enough for this to be an issue, we told my mom and mother in law that if dinner wasn't served by 1 pm, we would be feeding our children separately, and eating a sandwich ourselves. Mother in law pitched a fit that first family get together, so we called and said we would be having our own private, family Easter dinner, and would stop by to visit with everyone around 4 pm. She never changed the meal time while our kids were little, and so she never had us there for a holiday meal which she complains about to this day. 🙄 LOL, now I am in charge and we have had family holiday meals at 1 pm or 6 pm every time we have gotten together for these events. She thinks it is fine now! Sigh.

[gardenmom5]

We usually do dinner earlier.  

tbh - I don't think it matters it's what the cook wants to do, and what works for a particular family.

I can sympathize though - my grandmother would be told a time, and show up four hours early. . . .  one Christmas Eve she did that, and I closed myself in a room to finish Christmas preparations for my kids.

I think she was just so bored, and so excited to be going "somewhere, anywhere"", she'd come super early.  Or maybe that's how it was in her family in MO, but that sure it's normal here.

[Innisfree]

If kids or others need to eat at certain times, that’s the priority, no question. For us, slightly later middle-of-the-day mealtimes wouldn’t be an issue, because breakfast is also later and larger on holidays, and there’s plenty to munch on. That’s not a day when we’d make a fuss over possibly spoiling meals, both because who wants to fuss on a holiday, and because the meal is food everyone loves, so people will eat it, lol. But families need to do what works for them. That’s the only thing that’s really important.

[alisoncooks]

I grew up with it around 1ish. We’re doing 12:30 this year. DH grew up with the meal around 3-4. Regardless, no one eats a dinner. Maybe leftovers or desserts. 

[Elizabeth86]

My mom wants 3. I told her it needs to be lunch or dinner. My kids will eat lunch at about 1 and then won’t want to eat at 3. My mom has always cooked dinner early though. It has always bugged me. 

[regentrude]

At Thanksgiving, we eat at 2pm, stay sitting at the table, eat some more, drink, and talk, until the last guests leave at 10 pm.

I would not want to eat a large meal late, and we could not spend as much time together. And no, having the guests arrive to hang out for four hours before the meal would not work because I would have to be cooking.

Edited November 23, 2022 by regentrude

[marbel]

We usually eat around 4 pm. Late breakfast, some light snacks, then an early dinner. Then time to clean up some, take a walk, etc., before we have dessert at a reasonable hour for those of us who can't sleep well if we eat too late. 

My mother served holiday dinners around 1pm. Some friends of our always served their around 7pm which was much later than their standard dinner time. 

🤷‍♀️ I figure everyone has their reasons or whims for doing it the way they like. 

[mom2scouts]

We've always had our holiday meals around 1 pm. I prefer to eat a big meal in the middle of the day and then relax the rest of the day. If anyone is hungry later, they just go and help themselves to whatever leftovers they want. My mom lives over an hour drive away and she goes to bed early so she would never come if we waited until evening to eat.

[Faith-manor]

27 minutes ago, regentrude said:

At Thanksgiving, we eat at 2pm, stay sitting at the table, eat some more, drink, and talk, until the last guests leave at 10 pm.

I would not want to eat a large meal late, and we could not spend as much time together. And no, having the guests arrive to hang out for four hours before the meal would not work because I would have to be cooking.

I too love eating early enough that we recline at the table with drinks, and relax. Then we move to the more comfortable chairs. If dinner were late, we wouldn't do that, and then we would be cleaning up all evening as well. Just not fun. We clean up around 3:30 pm, and then are back to the living room often playing cards or a board game. Usually C, one of our four adult children, had new poetry to read which we love to hear.

[Clarita]

Ours will be at 6pm, with hangout time before and after. We are a small gathering though so pretty flexible and probably going to be a little bit of community cooking and setting up going on. 

[Pawz4me]

I prefer an at least somewhat standard meal time. I think we’re shooting for 5:30 tomorrow. Non standard times don’t make sense to me, particularly if young kids are included. 

[Loowit]

We are doing our meal at 1:30 tomorrow.  It is just what I felt worked for me planning wise and since I am cooking it, I felt I got to decide.  Growing up it depending on which side of the family was hosting.  Dad's side it was always later around 5 or 6.  Mom's side was always earlier around noon or 1.  I prefer it earlier in the day.

[HomeAgain]

We are aiming for 4-5 for Thanksgiving.  We usually do a slightly earlier time, because the meal isn't about dinner.  It's about dinner, then clean up, then game time, then bringing out desserts and coffee, then more games...

 

Dinner is just a part, but it has to be earlier so that we have time for the rest.

[Danae]

1:00.  I like it better than having the big meal in the evening because we can have a relaxing rest of the day, people with longer drives don’t have to be out late, there’s turkey sandwiches for dinner, and I have time to make stock with the carcass without staying up until midnight.  Then we have turkey soup with homemade egg noodles on Friday.

[rebcoola]

I usually do dinner 6ish. But DHs family does early like 1. When we go MILs for Thanksgiving it's like the turkey etc is lunch and the pie and desserts are dinner since those are done 6ish at a friend's house.

[prairiewindmomma]

We are 1:00 pm people for the reasons people generally list above. We clean up, pull out games, and have a light supper in the early evening before heading to bed.

[LucyStoner]

Growing up, we always had Thanksgiving dinner really early, like 1PM or so.  But my parents were always either unemployed or off work on Thanksgiving so the main cook (my dad) was always available to start the cooking super early. 

As young adults with little kids, we set the time around my husband's work schedule and our friends who we celebrate with tending to run late with their cooking plans.  There were years we ate at 7 or 8PM if my husband was working the 11-7 shift.  Other years, he would be off earlier but our friends wouldn't be ready until later. 

Now that all of the adults in our little group have Thanksgiving day off (my husband no longer works at a hospital!) + most of us also have Wednesday off from work too, we eat a little earlier, like about 4 or 5PM.  I put out cheese and stuff around 1 or 2PM.  If it was just on our timeframe, we'd likely do the earlier dinner thing now but our friends are late sleepers and usually not ready to gather until mid afternoon or a bit later.  

 

Edited November 24, 2022 by LucyStoner

[wendyroo]

I find it annoyingly ironic in my family currently.

Growing up we always had Thanksgiving with my father's family, and they always served the meal around 3pm. This was a very inconvenient meal time when my brother and I were young (and the only children on that side of the family) and also having to travel 1.5 hours each way. But tradition was tradition.

Fast forward to when my kids were young. My aunt on my father's side always hosted Thanksgiving (an in, would not hear of anyone else hosting it), and she still always served the meal around 3pm. And now we live 2.5 hours away, and have special needs kids (who are the only grandchildren on that side of the family), and the meal time was horrible for us. But tradition was tradition.

Fast forward to now. My grandfather is in a nursing home, and my aunt worries about him getting off his routine if he doesn't eat meals at standard times. So miraculously tradition is flexible enough to serve the meal at 12:30. 🙄

[Innisfree]

17 minutes ago, wendyroo said:

I find it annoyingly ironic in my family currently.

Growing up we always had Thanksgiving with my father's family, and they always served the meal around 3pm. This was a very inconvenient meal time when my brother and I were young (and the only children on that side of the family) and also having to travel 1.5 hours each way. But tradition was tradition.

Fast forward to when my kids were young. My aunt on my father's side always hosted Thanksgiving (an in, would not hear of anyone else hosting it), and she still always served the meal around 3pm. And now we live 2.5 hours away, and have special needs kids (who are the only grandchildren on that side of the family), and the meal time was horrible for us. But tradition was tradition.

Fast forward to now. My grandfather is in a nursing home, and my aunt worries about him getting off his routine if he doesn't eat meals at standard times. So miraculously tradition is flexible enough to serve the meal at 12:30. 🙄

That would bug the heck out of me. I hope the time at least works for you now.

[freesia]

Between 2 and 3. 

[Annie G]

We’ll  have appetizers around 12:30, eat around 2, sit at the table and chat a while, then have dessert. My guests are coming from 90 minutes away and they won’t want to drive at night. Lots of deer around here.

Growing up we always ate holiday meals at 4 or 5, and dh grew up with noon holiday meals. 2 is a nice compromise.

[theelfqueen]

We do a late lunch/early dinner which I dislike but accept. 

[Eos]

4 - 5, which is just a tad earlier than normal supper.  I don't want to eat supper while it's light outside. 

We're all at ds' house for the first time, it's sweet to hear him go over all the things he has to do.  His in-laws will come over in the afternoon, and he says we'll eat at 3:30.  It will be dark enough I guess.  We're just enjoying him being happy that we're here.

[teachermom2834]

Early. Closer to lunchtime for sure. It’s hard for me to get the whole meal on quite so early but people travel and don’t want to be driving back late which I totally get. I’d like to be in my own home winding down earlyish if I was traveling too. 
 

If it was just my family I would play pretty loose with it with liberal availability of appetizers. The meal components for me are pretty simple but I am super challenged at getting them all out at the right time and sometimes the turkey doesn’t behave and cooks faster or slower than I anticipate. My ideal world would be a relaxed all day eating event without a huge time pressure. But I’d always be shooting for an early dinner at the latest because I like to get things cleaned up before I can relax for the evening. 
 

Once the kids are older everything seems more flexible though. I guess until there are grandkids! But honestly, it’s a holiday. I want everyone to be comfortable. If someone is hungry and wants a piece of pumpkin pie before dinner, have at it. If a kid needs lunch and dinner isn’t going to make it until 3:00, make a sandwich or throw some nuggets in the air fryer. I don’t care. I don’t want hangry people on a holiday. 

Edited November 24, 2022 by teachermom2834

[catz]

I like to have a brunch option.  Today we have cinnamon rolls that will be out and fruit, yogurt, etc.  But then I do like a 3 or 4 pm holiday meal.  I don’t want to fight people trying to scrounge for lunch and you can have a sandwich late if you are still hungry.  Nicer timing for guests to leave at a reasonable hour too.   I also don’t want to be up working in the kitchen at the crack of dawn on a holiday.  
 

my husband’s family always eats their big meal at noon.  Not a huge fan of that, but we’ve done it many years.  My parents always did mid to late afternoon meal on holidays.  ETA - I will also say, my parents often did a late brunch and an early dinner with us on Sundays when we were home those days.  So like 2 real meals and we'd grab a snack if needed, so it never seemed weird to me even as a young kid.  

Edited November 24, 2022 by catz

[KungFuPanda]

I’ll defend the 2-3 time. It makes sense to me. It’s a holiday, so people who aren’t cooking were able to sleep in and have a late breakfast. Everyone should be hungry again by 2-3. If you wait til 6-7, people need to eat lunch first and who wants to deal with another meal on Thanksgiving. It’s much easier for the host to serve earlier and then let the family graze on leftovers when they’re hungry again at night. An earlier meal gives you a little time for digesting before pie and means that more people can have coffee or tea with their pie without the caffeine keeping them up at night. Also, the earlier serving time means everything can be cleaned up before the hostess is too tired and ready to collapse. It gives people time for a nice long visit before early birds and children need to get home for bed. 
 

We ate at 6 today, but it was just the three of us. I definitely serve earlier with company. HOWEVER, my dinner table is the land of the lotus eaters. We can sit there for 90 minutes on a random Tuesday. When we have company we’re there for hours. 

[Matryoshka]

Holiday dinners start somewhere 1-3 pm, with 2pm being most common.  

The way I learned the definition of 'dinner' is that it's the largest meal of the day, whenever it's served.  If you have dinner midday, the evening meal is supper.

[Kareni]

We ate dinner at four. My husband picked up our guest at three (she lives about fifteen minutes away), and then we chatted while he finished the dinner preps. After dinner, they chatted while I cleaned up, and then we played mah jongg for a couple of hours with an intermission for apple tart and tea. My husband drove our guest home about eight. It was a fun celebration, and our guest (a recent widow) was very happy for the invitation.

Regards,

Kareni