Anyone do Christmas after Christmas?

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

I couldn’t think of a good title:

Between the absolute chaos that is being a paramedic in today’s world and Covid booster kicking me hard, I haven’t done half the Christmas stuff I wanted to with the kids.  This is my favorite time of year and I want to salvage it somehow, but I just got mandated for more shifts this week(people are out sick with the flu and Covid quarantines plus we are slammed with long, many hour out of town transfers just to get a patient to an open bed somewhere). It’s literally the grace of God and supportive bosses that DH and I got three hours off Christmas morning.

I have the 13 days after Christmas off except for one 24 hour shift. I can’t be mandated for another three weeks so I should be good. 
Anyone do their Christmas celebrations Afterward?  I am thinking the books I love to read aloud, the Jungle Bells at the zoo, the drive through light shows. I could make it a really nice 12 days of Christmas—but my older kids are convinced that this will just be dumb to do after the fact.  They’re 11 and 9 and both rather inflexible, black and white thinkers.  

Do you do the 12 days of Christmas or all your traditions afterward? Any stories that will help me normalize it a little for the kids?

(there is also a lot of local talk about schools going virtual in the New Year, which my older kids have heard and are very anxious about. That uncertainty is playing into this resistance to do any Christmas anything after the actual day as well. I know they need normalcy, but I also have really sick people that need to get to Pittsburgh and Philadelphia and even Virginia, and I’m one of only three vent trained paramedics.)

Edited December 20, 2021 by Mrs Tiggywinkle

[JustEm]

Yes, Dec 25th is just the first day of Christmas. It ends January 9th this year I believe. Haven't looked at the calendar to confirm that.

 

 Adding: so for us, the tree stays up until the end of the Christmas season. And we still watch Christmas movies, listen to Christmas music. This year the kids and their cousins are doing a Yankee swap on the 26th. This year we had a lot of time beforehand to do a lot of Christmas things but many years we do most of it after the 25th

Edited December 20, 2021 by hjffkj

[barnwife]

Well, we are Catholic, so we definitely celebrate the whole Christmas season (Dec. 25-Epiphany). Santa brings most of their gifts on Dec. 25, but the Wise Men also come on Epiphany with a few things. We celebrate the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God on Jan. 1, along with New Year's. 

That being said, our kids are quite well aware that different families/cultures celebrate in different ways. They also know that parents can ask Santa to bring gifts a different day/to a different than normal location, so celebrating a different day wouldn't phase them at all as long they knew ahead of time.

In your case, I'd probably tell my kids the above and say I'd asked Santa to come on XXX day. Or maybe I'd play into the pandemic/shipping issues and tell them Santa let me know one of their gifts couldn't be here until XXX day, so I told him to only make one trip and save all the gifts until then. I'd also make sure to have something fun for what time you do have on Dec. 25, like decorate a gingerbread house, or play Christmas games (search pinterest). 

[Janeway]

I have always wanted to work out the Christmas presents to be a 12 days of Christmas sort of thing, lasting until the Epiphany. But mostly, we do actually have things through New Years, not all the way through to the Epiphany. 

When I put out the presents on Christmas Eve night, I always put out their most wished for things and then hold other things back. We go see various Christmas displays and such between Christmas and New Years, like a train one that is about an hour away. At New Years eve, toward evening, I will give them the remainder of their presents.  This mostly started because my mom would give so many presents on Christmas and the kids were young so I would hold off on giving my presents to them until later. It actually turned out to be nice to have less on Christmas and have something to open still at New Years that we still do it. 

I am sure we will bake, play games, visit a few places this year in the week following Christmas.

[Spryte]

Our oldest spent every other Christmas with his bio parent, so in those years we did “XXmas” and our holidays started on the 26th. We did All The Things. It was still lots of fun.

In your shoes, I’d concentrate on some gifts to open on the morning of Christmas, easy finger foods for the day, lots of movies and rest. Then all the fun the next week.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

I do have presents for Christmas Day, and we’ll spend the morning with grandparents opening our presents and eating cinnamon rolls until DH and I have to leave around 10(I’m home Christmas night though).  They’re frustrated because usually in the weeks leading up to Christmas we’re reading lots of books and watching movies and looking at lights and making gingerbread houses and doing the zoo—things I just haven’t had the time or bandwidth for this year.   We can do it after Christmas, all next week, but they’re struggling with that change. 

Probably the deeper issue is that Mom and Dad are working more than they ever have and being absolutely exhausted when we get home(instead of catching at least three or four hours of sleep and being able to be present at home), along with other pandemic caused upheavals.  My kids are struggling and this is the tip of the iceberg, but it’s the most pressing issue.  

Edited December 20, 2021 by Mrs Tiggywinkle

[TexasProud]

YES.  All the time. My husband was OFTEN on call on Christmas.  Sometimes because of partner vacations he was on call off and on all of Christmas week.  Same thing with Thanksgiving.  Holidays happened when WE said they did. Honestly, this wasnt a big deal for our kids, probably because it wasn’t a big deal for us.  Plus often, hubby took the week after Christmas off and our big Christmas with his family was then. 

I would just explain to the kids that because of schedules, Christmas will be xxx.  Do whatever your own family traditions are.  My SIL has a game tournament where we play 12 different games. She has a wheel and there are fun prizes for the winner of each game.  (Now all the kids are adults. Still fun.) We have gingerbread house contests. 

[TexasProud]

Just saw your latest post. Watch Christmas movies after . Enjoy everything after. Your attitude makes the most difference.  Try not to feel guilty.  Honestly there is nothing different about December 25 than December 30th.  Attitude is everything. 

[Starr]

It continues to be shocking to me that you can be mandated to work so many hours. Your kids aren't going to feel like it's the same but I would go with your plan. If you can't get them to buy in to a 12 day Christmas, once you try it, then do other things with them. Still read, bake, go on outings and have fun together. You could always come up with another theme. So so tired of covid.

[Katy]

Not me, but as a kid, especially a little kid when my dad was a new cop, yes. Not only was he working, I was oblivious to the actual day and sometimes my parents would stop & buy stuff on clearance the day after Christmas & Easter to save money. 

[JustEm]

14 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

I do have presents for Christmas Day, and we’ll spend the morning with grandparents opening our presents and eating cinnamon rolls until DH and I have to leave around 10(I’m home Christmas night though).  They’re frustrated because usually in the weeks leading up to Christmas we’re reading lots of books and watching movies and looking at lights and making gingerbread houses and doing the zoo—things I just haven’t had the time or bandwidth for this year.   We can do it after Christmas, all next week, but they’re struggling with that change. 

Probably the deeper issue is that Mom and Dad are working more than they ever have and being absolutely exhausted when we get home(instead of catching at least three or four hours of sleep and being able to be present at home), along with other pandemic caused upheavals.  My kids are struggling and this is the tip of the iceberg, but it’s the most pressing issue.  

Yeah, I can imagine that being difficult situation. I think you need accept that they are going to be disappointed by the change. That doesn't mean they won't enjoy necessarily, they just won't enjoy it as much. But if they really won't enjoy Christmas stuff after Christmas then sit down with them and brainstorm non Christmas things they'd like to do on your time off. 

If the biggest issue is they aren't getting enough time with their parents than focusing on it all being Christmas centered might not be that big of a deal. You know your kids best so that is up to you to decide if they want all the Christmas things even with the disappointment or just other things with their parents.

It isn't easy having disappointed kids at Christmas though, so big hugs.

 

[barnwife]

10 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Just saw your latest post. Watch Christmas movies after . Enjoy everything after. Your attitude makes the most difference.  Try not to feel guilty.    Attitude is everything. 

This. Tell them since everything is weird due to *all this*, you are having a "Backwards Christmas," which means doing the big celebration first, and the other stuff later. 

I know a family that randomly does "Backwards Days," where they do their daily routine in reverse basically. So after waking up they watch a TV show, eat dinner, do their afternoon school routine even though it's morning, have lunch, do morning stuff in the afternoon, eat breakfast, etc...They even eat dessert first at any applicable meals! 

ETA: Yes, it won't be their first choice, but that doesn't mean it can't still be good or even great. Maybe it ends up being the Christmas they remember the most!

Our kids would also be at least momentarily disappointed by this if there hadn't been forewarning. But I'd make it clear it's the way it is, put a smile on my face, and enjoy doing all the things, with or without them!

Edited December 20, 2021 by barnwife

[mommyoffive]

My dh isn't a shift worker, but still we have and still do this.  My kids don't care and still love having a longer Christmas season.  I think it is better because there isn't such a big let down the day after. 

We pushed back holiday lots of different times because of them getting sick.  But then my kids got into Nutcracker and we always have shows leading up to Christmas, Christmas eve, and the day after , so we can't get to see my family until at least the 27 or later.  Usually later because we are not up for it the day after.  We are missing out on a lot of the holiday stuff before the holiday because of Nutcracker.  My kids haven't had a weekend day off of rehearsal other than Thanksgiving since October.  So yeah we love doing holiday things after the fact and just spreading the joy out even longer. 

[happi duck]

I'm so glad you have some time off!

The Christmas season really does start December 25.  I hope it goes well!

Check schedules for lights shows and such.  Sometimes they end around new year, at least around here.

Do they like advent calendar type things?  A simple 12 days variation could be a gift bag or something under the tree that each day has an item or note about the main activity for the day.  (Same bag)

[theelfqueen]

The twelve days of Christmas BEGIN on December 25th!

When my kids were younger and spending Christmas with their Dad, we would celebrate the whole thing at New Years.

There are plenty of cultures that celebrate New Years and Epiphany as major holidays. At the Medieval and Tudor courts, gifts were given at New Years and that's when the big feasts and celebrations were -  because Christmas was a more serious Holy celebration. 

Traditionally Christmas doesn't end until Candlemas (Feb 2nd)!  Find your own merry feelings to share with your family! 

Edited December 20, 2021 by theelfqueen

[City Mouse]

My DH is in law enforcement and has missed many Christmases and other holidays in the 30 yard we have been married. I think that is why we haven’t developed many yearly traditions. We mix it up every year- opening presents on Christmas Eve, or morning, or night- having the big meal at different times serving different kinds of food - or even traveling for Christmas. That was one of the reasons we were never really big on the Santa thing. I know families who make it a big deal to write to Santa to reschedule Christmas. That wasn’t for us. 
So my suggestion is to do it how you want. Don’t force the kids to participate if they aren’t into the changes, but most likely they will come around when they see you enjoying those things. We don’t stretch the celebrations into January once school as started back up, but the week between Christmas and New Year is always fair game.

[vonfirmath]

The 12 days of Christmas is ACTUALLY the twelve days starting on Christmas and progressing forward to the Epiphany.  Lots of people do it wrong, that's all 🙂

 

What Are the 12 Days of Christmas? | HowStuffWorks

We have been travelling on Christmas and actually done most of Christmas on a day AFTER Christmas when we could actually get together with relatives before as well. 

 

This year we are taking a few presents with us to open on Christmas day but waiting to open most until the day after Christmas when we are coming back home.

 

Note: Some of the Christmas traditions may be harder after christmas because the organized stuff out there all seems to end Christmas day. I've even seen people taking their lights down the day after!

 

[marbel]

When my kids were little, their dad had the week between Christmas and New Year's off, so we often tried to do fun Christmas things then.  It would take some looking around to see what was still going on after Christmas - so many things just end on Christmas Day. I understand Santa will not be around to visit, and Christmas markets will close.  But there are generally some things still available, such as ZooLights and public light displays - depending on where you live of course.  

I get that your kids will be disappointed (I understand inflexible thinking for sure). I have a mixed bag here - my kids are adults now, but one has always had a strong preference to doing all the fun things before Christmas and loves the crowds, while the other is easily overwhelmed and preferred to wait till after Christmas when things were not so crowded. We managed to work it out pretty well to everyone's satisfaction, as far as I can tell. They did learn to be flexible over time. (I'm not assuming that your kids will be just like mine though, just sharing experience.)

One year my sister shipped us a huge box for 12 days of Christmas. There was a wrapped package for each day. The gifts were mostly small/low value, but it was so fun to open something every day.  

I have often wished that in the US Christmas didn't start so early and wasn't over on the 26th. There is such a frenzied build-up to Christmas, with people trying to fit all the fun stuff in along with shopping, wrapping, etc. And then *poof* it's over.  

I hope you find your way to a fun holiday!  

[importswim]

DH is very rarely home at Christmas or Thanksgiving. I can count on 2 years in the past 8 that he's been home on the actual day. He used to be in the military and we did a couple of Christmases away from him then too. Tell your kiddos there are a LOT of people around the world that celebrate at different times! We've always celebrated when he's home and so I'd say that you absolutely can move Christmas to whatever day you want to! It might make it more fun to do some of those things after as well so there's not a huge build up to one day and it feels like Christmas longer. 

 

[Faith-manor]

We have done it in the past based on Mark's vacation with each company. Some of them gave time off before Christmas so we could do some advent lead up to the day, and others have it after. Only since he went to work for GM I.T. have we had a really generous vacationing with a lot of time before and after the holiday.

I think it is a wonderful idea to do it after and then be able to really enjoy it.

[Eilonwy]

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

Do you do the 12 days of Christmas or all your traditions afterward? Any stories that will help me normalize it a little for the kids?

Yes, we do this every year.  We decorate the tree on Christmas Eve, and then we have Christmas stories (a book we always use) every evening at bedtime for the 12 days of Christmas, starting on Christmas Day. My time off is mainly after Christmas.  Are your kids into historical stuff so that they could go for a Shakespearean Christmas   schedule or something like that?  
I hope that you and your family have a very cozy and restful 12 days of Christmas!

[Bootsie]

We don't specifically do Twelve Days of Christmas--opening a gift every day--or anything like that.  But, we try to focus on celebrating Christmas during Christmastide and thinking of the Advent period leading up to Christmas as a time for preparation.  We do this for several reasons.  First, we do need time to prepare (both religiously and just pure logistics).  Trying to celebrate and prepare at the same time is just overload to me.  Then it is nice to have some time which the planning, and hustle and bustle is over and we can relax and enjoy the season.  I fight the "Christmas is over--put it all away on December 26" mindset as much as possible because I find it to be an emotional letdown and disappointment.  In our household we have found we need to both (1) slow down the celebration before Christmas and (2) celebrate after Christmas day to enjoy the season.  

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

My company is outstanding at getting parents’ shifts covered for holidays, even a couple hours on Halloween.  So fortunately my kids have always been able to have Christmas on the day of.  But I usually lead up to the season with all kinds of things, and couldn’t this year.

My kids have been through a lot of changes this year, and there’s some autism and undiagnosed neurodiversity in the mix.  We moved, two of them changed schools(homeschooled to one public school in the old town to a new public school where we live now), their beloved great grandmother is on palliative care and no longer as interactive with them, their grandmother whom they previously spent a lot of fun time with has lived with that great-grandma for six months because there’s no empty beds in any nursing homes, Mom and Dad’s work goes crazy with the pandemic and they’re gone more—the list goes on this year, but there’s been upheaval and change. And then Mom changes all the Christmas traditions unexpectedly—they’re struggling. A lot. And I’m trying to figure out how to bring these traditions together, just the week after Christmas.

It’s hard for them, but I’m trying.

[wathe]

Absolutely.  Shift work makes this necessary some years.  My kids are used to it.

Between shift work and homeschool, their entire lives are out-of-sync with the rest of the world - we routinely do school at weird times and on odd days as a matter of course.  It's just more of the same for them.

[Faith-manor]

4 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

My company is outstanding at getting parents’ shifts covered for holidays, even a couple hours on Halloween.  So fortunately my kids have always been able to have Christmas on the day of.  But I usually lead up to the season with all kinds of things, and couldn’t this year.

My kids have been through a lot of changes this year, and there’s some autism and undiagnosed neurodiversity in the mix.  We moved, two of them changed schools(homeschooled to one public school in the old town to a new public school where we live now), their beloved great grandmother is on palliative care and no longer as interactive with them, their grandmother whom they previously spent a lot of fun time with has lived with that great-grandma for six months because there’s no empty beds in any nursing homes, Mom and Dad’s work goes crazy with the pandemic and they’re gone more—the list goes on this year, but there’s been upheaval and change. And then Mom changes all the Christmas traditions unexpectedly—they’re struggling. A lot. And I’m trying to figure out how to bring these traditions together, just the week after Christmas.

It’s hard for them, but I’m trying.

I am so sorry, Tiggy! You are an awesome mom! Truly, I am always impressed with you. Try to be kind to yourself. Pick just a handful of the most important things to work in, and then be relaxed. Maybe grandma who lives with great grandma might want to do a daily story time, read A Christmas Carol or something a chapter at a time by zoom. Let the kids curl up in front of the screen with hot cocoa and watch grandma read. It might be one way for them to get some connection with her, and you can nap on the couch or have tea and a breather, or wrap presents or something.

[73349]

One hesitation I have is that if the change to the new year is significant to one or more of them, it will be annoying to have Christmas spilling over that far. (I'm assuming no birthdays are in the mix--if there are, so much the more so.) They have to be back in school mode by the 3rd, right? I'd probably limit the Christmas activities in that case, not extending beyond the 29th or maybe the 30th. You can ask them to select from a list of Christmassy things to do and decide together when on the calendar to put them.

It's okay for Christmas not to be perfect or on the normal schedule. They may not even remember next year.

Edited December 20, 2021 by Carolina Wren

[Carol in Cal.]

We always spread Christmas out over the 12 Days.  But we also have kind of robust Advent traditions, so that made the time before Christmas kind of special but in a different way.

For Advent we would start decorating the house, everything except the tree and crèche, and sometimes do a devotion series like Jotham’s journey, and attend extra church services on Wednesdays.  We would have an Advent wreath.

We would put the tree up the week before Christmas, with the lights and bubble lights.

Then Christmas Eve was a special meal and one present each for the 3 of us, Candlelight Service, decorating the tree, and putting up the crèche.

Christmas Day was Big Family Christmas, including grandparents’ gifts and a big extended family dinner.

Then in the peaceful days afterwards there would be more presents, maybe an ice skating trip, read alouds, a hike or two, and crafty outings—like, this would be when we might go to one of those ceramics places and paint an annual mug.  New Year’s Eve was always cheese fondue, which is fun, and a bunch of gratitude talks, champagne and sparkling cider chilling in the snow if available, and those pop crackers, and staying up til midnight. New Year’s Day a fire in the fireplace, ableskivers for breakfast, some outdoorsy thing (on the ‘begin as you mean to go on’ theory), friends over.  Then a little more calm after that, lots of knitting and reading, more fires if possible, maybe more cookie baking.  Respite days.  Gifts of time.  On the 6th, a special dinner, another major present, and a convo about quotes or thought about light in the darkness.  Light and gifting as a theme.

I started doing this to avoid the major let down I always felt as a kid when the presents were done and Christmas seemed over, but it had other benefits as well.  More peace before Christmas, more appreciation of our blessings, more enjoyment of each other, something to look forward to beyond Christmas itself.

[Matryoshka]

4 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

I couldn’t think of a good title:

Between the absolute chaos that is being a paramedic in today’s world and Covid booster kicking me hard, I haven’t done half the Christmas stuff I wanted to with the kids.  This is my favorite time of year and I want to salvage it somehow, but I just got mandated for more shifts this week(people are out sick with the flu and Covid quarantines plus we are slammed with long, many hour out of town transfers just to get a patient to an open bed somewhere). It’s literally the grace of God and supportive bosses that DH and I got three hours off Christmas morning.

I have the 13 days after Christmas off except for one 24 hour shift. I can’t be mandated for another three weeks so I should be good. 
Anyone do their Christmas celebrations Afterward?  I am thinking the books I love to read aloud, the Jungle Bells at the zoo, the drive through light shows. I could make it a really nice 12 days of Christmas—but my older kids are convinced that this will just be dumb to do after the fact.  They’re 11 and 9 and both rather inflexible, black and white thinkers.  

Do you do the 12 days of Christmas or all your traditions afterward? Any stories that will help me normalize it a little for the kids?

(there is also a lot of local talk about schools going virtual in the New Year, which my older kids have heard and are very anxious about. That uncertainty is playing into this resistance to do any Christmas anything after the actual day as well. I know they need normalcy, but I also have really sick people that need to get to Pittsburgh and Philadelphia and even Virginia, and I’m one of only three vent trained paramedics.)

Well, since the 12 days of Christmas are after Christmas (Dec 25th - Jan 6th), sure.  The 4 weeks before Christmas are Advent.  Still bugs me that America seems to think Christmas is over on the 25th!

We're going to have to do the whole Christmas thing crazy this year.  We often have an Epiphany get-together at my mom's and every other year that's also our gift exchange with my brother's family when they go to Texas to see SIL's family.  But this year it looks like that might be our main Christmas celebration for everyone, or we may even have it a week later.  

With kids as young as yours, and having the 13 days after Christmas off, I'd totally do all the Christmas stuff you normally do then.  Maybe haul out some '12 days of Christmas' stuff which emphasizes the fact that it's supposed to be starting on the 25th, for your black-and-white thinkers.... 😉 

[Tanaqui]

Twelve days of Christmas run after the day of until the 6th, Little Christmas. Tell your kids that if they don't like it they can do all the work for the holiday themselves. They may surprise you!

[prairiewindmomma]

We’ve had years like that.

For my inflexible kids, I ask them to each pick the “one thing” that must happen. Usually they surprise me by articulating what it is. For example, my kids could care less about the Christmas tree, but the food sampling and voting tradition is a must this year. YMMV, but I haven’t had to do everything—just the most important thing.

[brehon]

6 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

Probably the deeper issue is that Mom and Dad are working more than they ever have and being absolutely exhausted when we get home(instead of catching at least three or four hours of sleep and being able to be present at home), along with other pandemic caused upheavals.  My kids are struggling and this is the tip of the iceberg, but it’s the most pressing issue.

I feel you, sister, so very much. My kids are surprised when I’m at home these days. Extreme staffing shortages +  flu/RSV/covid + mandatory overtime = physically and mentally exhausted medics.

My kids don’t have the same issues with inflexible thinking. And, being Catholic, are used to the 12 days of Christmas. Maybe instead of only replicating the Before Christmas Fun y’all can start some new Christmas Fun practices/traditions in addition to some of the other traditions you have.

Anyway, I’m mainly posting in complete empathy and commiseration. 

[Harriet Vane]

We have always scheduled Christmas for when it is convenient for us, whether before or after or on the date. We love the freedom of not being tied to a specific date.

[Carol in Cal.]

PS Waaay plus one on kids being very traditional.

I used to write, teach, and direct the children’s Christmas programs every year for my church, and there was this kid who I always felt like I was barely reaching, who I thought was not paying attention and mostly there because his grandmother insisted.  But the year I changed things slightly so that there was no procession of Mary, Joseph, and the donkey up the center aisle, he was furious.  Turned out that he had been talking it up to his baby brother for quite a while, and was greatly looking forward to him wearing the donkey head, LOL.  To me this was such a small part of the whole, but wow….definitely not to him.

[Ditto]

You have gotten such wonderful support and ideas.  I just want to chime in and say that definitely both growing up and as a mom myself, we have done Christmas after Christmas Day.   I do think there are advantages to this.   You have had a hell of a year, they will be okay, and will see how much fun it is to celebrate another day which helps make the Christmas fun continue past Christmas Day.   Do what you need to do, I promise they will be okay.

[DreamerGirl]

I am Anglican and love the liturgical year. So the time between Advent and Epiphany is super special for us.

I created a lot of traditions like Advent wreath, Jesse tree and usually am burnt out by Christmas. So this time of year is usually when we slow down.

We cook really good food, bake, read, play games, nap.

This year I bought a 12 days of Christmas wreath because I felt like a cross between Puddlegum, Eeyore with a dash of the grinch thrown in to remind me of the good things. 

Build your own traditions and make it special. 

You really are celebrating 12 days of Christmas.

[rebcoola]

It's hard.  We do Christmas when we do Christmas.  Depending on DH shift work schedule.  Over the years we have gone later and later.  After Christmas is so much dead space and before is all concerts, shows, parties etc.  It's nice wind down with baking and movies etc after Christmas.

[theelfqueen]

Also if you celebrate after Christmas - you can hit after Christmas sales for new ornaments, wrapping paper, tasty holiday treats, etc. 

[ScoutTN]

I did many years as a kid bc of divorced parents. We have a few times because of travel (getting stuck in airports) and illness. 
 

Just be cheerful and go with it. It may not be your kids’ preference, but they will still enjoy the holiday and being together. Keep your favorite traditions and add a few new ones. Activities, food, books. 
 

If you decide to do the 12 days, there are lots of fun ways to incorporate it. King cake! Crafts, books, etc. One time we got one of those international snack boxes and my kids each got to pick one out every day. My Dd and I went to a tea party where we did the banners below. (Each family brought 12 copies of one day. My then-6 yo did day 5.)

[KidsHappen]

All of my children are grown now. They have SOs and other families to consider. Most of them have jobs, some in retail some in food service that is traditionally busy at Christmas. One lives out of town. So we always celebrate the soonest we can get together after Christmas. This year I am visiting one of the families Christmas Eve eve and then they are going out of town for a few days after that. I am visiting another Christmas Day and then she is going out of town for a week and then we will all finally get together for Christmas dinner and gifts swapping from the 6th through 10th. One of dd's birthday is on the 6th and one of my dgd's birthday is on the 10th. We have been mixing it up like this for years now and  as long as well all get some time together we are happy. And we appreciate having a few extra days for shopping, shipping wrapping and so on. It makes things a little less stressful.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

4 hours ago, brehon said:

I feel you, sister, so very much. My kids are surprised when I’m at home these days. Extreme staffing shortages +  flu/RSV/covid + mandatory overtime = physically and mentally exhausted medics.

My kids don’t have the same issues with inflexible thinking. And, being Catholic, are used to the 12 days of Christmas. Maybe instead of only replicating the Before Christmas Fun y’all can start some new Christmas Fun practices/traditions in addition to some of the other traditions you have.

Anyway, I’m mainly posting in complete empathy and commiseration. 

I’m sorry you get it, but commiseration helps a lot.  Even on my days off I’ve been too drained to do any of the fun Christmas stuff we normally do.  Everybody is sick, we’re running short due to employees being quarantined or calling in sick due to exhaustion or illness, the acuity of patients is ridiculously high.  I fell asleep writing a PCR the other night and then had to erase about a million Xs…..

My kids need something normal. New house, new town, new school, missing their grandmother, parents who are mentally and physically spent…We’re going to do all of our fun stuff in the week after Christmas and call it good enough.  I know my kids struggle with flexibility, and this is really hard, but this year we have to change traditions.  I’m going to ask them tonight which tradition is most important to them individually and make those three traditions my top priority.  I’m feeling like a truly terrible Mom right now, but I have nothing left to give.  

Edited December 21, 2021 by Mrs Tiggywinkle

[Clarita]

19 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

My kids need something normal. New house, new town, new school, missing their grandmother, parents who are mentally and physically spent…We’re going to do all of our fun stuff in the week after Christmas and call it good enough.  I know my kids struggle with flexibility, and this is really hard, but this year we have to change traditions.  I’m going to ask them tonight which tradition is most important to them individually and make those three traditions my top priority.

Maybe make a whole new tradition with them. That's what my mom did because my parents couldn't afford to give me presents all the time. My mom made a tradition with me when I was in middle school to go shopping after Dec. 26th. When I was young we didn't buy much, but she let me go into any store I wanted and try on whatever I wanted. When I was in my 20s then we started buying each other presents. 

[Hen]

yes, we've been doing gifts on New Years eve or New Years day, and it has really made the whole season so much more enjoyable and less stressful.  We also only do 3 gifts for each kid (but some small "stocking" type gifts, too.)

[Matryoshka]

Another angle... in pretty much the entire Spanish speaking world, the Christmas gift exchange is on Jan 6th, and they are brought by the Three Kings.  Actually kind of makes more sense than a riff on a Turkish Saint who reanimated pickled children.

[kbutton]

HCW family here too. We’ve done all kinds of timing.

Hugs to you all with the crazy making changes and unreal schedule! 

[KungFuPanda]

Can you do the 12 Days of Christmas, kind of Hanukah-style.  If you do one present each day you can make the festivities last longer and you don't have the pressure to make a single, magical day.  You don't HAVE to do 12 presents, you can do activities, like looking at lights, reading a story, or watching holiday movies, on some of the days. You'll finish on Epiphany and then you can take down the tree.   

I'm doing Christmas with my daughter after Christmas this year.  She's had some covid exposure at school and her husband's family is less careful than ours.  She's going to see them before Christmas, spend the actual day alone with her new husband, and see us closer to New Year's once they've had a chance to test and let some time pass.

[Starr]

I'm so sorry you are spent. You are a good mom. It's a tough time and you are getting hit so hard. Many hugs.

[DreamerGirl]

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

I’m feeling like a truly terrible Mom right now, but I have nothing left to give.  

From where I stand, You are an amazing human being, not just a mother. Gosh, just watching Delta spread through my country of origin and the devastation it caused among my circle took me down a spiral. I did not lose close family and yet I was devastated. You see COVID day after day, you had it twice if I am counting right and still you stand. 

You are strong, courageous, compassionate, selfless and there is nothing terrible about you. You are super woman to me. The only thing I relate is having nothing to give. Please do not beat yourself up. If you were living close by I would drop off food to nourish you and yours every single day because you so deserve it. 

Please be gentle to yourself. Do what you can. Read books, make soup, turn on the music, play games, watch movies, bake store bought cookie dough, take lots of naps. Just be together. There is no wrong way to celebrate Christmas. Rest. Nourish yourself. You give so much. Anything you give will be enough, I promise. 

[Faith-manor]

Tiggy! 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

[SKL]

Because we often travel over Christmas, we've often had it early.  Then I keep aside a few small things to give "on the day" so they don't feel depressed about totally ignoring Christmas day.  And we may or may not do "extended family Christmas" at a later date.  But the main stuff gets done before or on 12/25.

I used to think that it might make sense to do Christmas late when the kids are little.  However, at least where I live, the community "magic of Christmas" pretty much comes to a screeching halt at midnight 12/26.  And unless we lived in a bubble, with the kids not being aware that everyone else on the planet is celebrating Christmas "now," I think it would at least require their buy-in.

[Eos]

Finally read this thread.  We're at my mother's doing none of our own traditions, heading home on Boxing Day, in no way sacrificing any of our comforts to help others as you do.  I've been wondering now how much we'll want to do another Christmas, but the consensus seems to be "a lot." We are only filling stockings here, so I think we will end up doing another Christmas Day of presents, hiking, games when we get home, easy to do because my kids are older.

@Mrs Tiggywinkleyour work is the work of Christmas.