Folding underwear, etc.

[BakersDozen]

While visiting with our adopted grandmother today the topic of organizing came up. She said that her husband once thanked her for keeping his underwear drawer so tidy. I just stood there, blinking a bit and speechless (a rare occurrence). If I fold underwear and put it away for anyone that person better be under the age of 4. So I just have to ask if such a thing is standard/normal - folding/putting away a husband's underwear (or other laundry too, I suppose). I kind of sort of thought that the one whose bum the undergarment is on is the one to fold/put it away. I despised having to sort socks and underwear as a kid. There were only 4 of us but I still remember standing in the laundry room, grumbling because why couldn't everyone just grab their own darn items and fold them?? Such a hard childhood I had...

[theelfqueen]

I fold everyone's laundry but only put away my own. 

[Tanaqui]

I hate laundry, so as soon as I could fob it off on the kids, I did. But other people who don't hate it might prioritize their lives differently.

[Shoeless]

Kiddo puts his stuff away and some household things away.  I put DH's stuff away and my stuff away.  I fold zero underwear.  It all gets tossed into the drawer, willy-nilly. 

[Frances]

I don’t fold my underwear and the men in my house do their own laundry. I actually don’t mind doing laundry, it’s probably my favorite chore. The only reason I can think of for folding underwear is if it helps it to fit better in a drawer.

[JustEm]

In general, laundry is a shared tasked. The kids will usually bring it to the laundry room when I ask them to collect it, they'll also start a load if I ask but usually I do it. I also do all the folding. Dh hangs up his shirts and mine. The kids hang their things that need to get hung and they put their clothes away once folded. I do plan on teaching them to fold their own soon. I put dh's underwear away most of the time since I do it at the same time as my own and he's usually hanging clothes as I put away.  but I certainly don't fold it. That seems like a waste of time.

[J-rap]

I don't understand why the one who wears the underwear has to be the one who puts it away?  We took turns doing laundry, and the one whose turn it was to fold would generally put everyone's away.  Or, more often than not, it would just get placed on a pile on that person's bed.  I don't fold underwear though!

But, I also think the older generation did things differently.  My mother used to iron all of my dad's cloth handkerchiefs, and she ironed her sheets up until 3 years ago.  (She only stopped because her arthritis got so bad, otherwise I'm sure she would have continued!)

[Carrie12345]

Long answer:

I have had some sort of mental block through most of my marriage. There’s been something about the idea of putting away my husband’s clothes that just... irks me. It could be because he once criticized the way I do laundry, so I actually quit WASHING his laundry for YEARS. (At that time, most of his went to the dry cleaner anyway.)

But my spouse is a serious slob. I had to go back to doing his laundry b/c he’d let it pile up for crazy long and then mess up the family laundry for days. I still haven’t gone to putting it away.  I am about to, though. The whole decluttering and organizing has transformed so much of this house that, other than the girls’ room, his closet and room corner (where clothes he actually uses live) are the biggest problem areas left, and its driving me bananas. Major bananas.

(For the record, I don’t fold or put away the big kids’ clothes. I do fold the little kids’ and will put it away if there’s a large amount, but they do it if it’s only a few things per designated bin.)

My whole mindset for this long term project has been to bring ME some flipping joy!!! I’m not doing this because I feel obligated or to get appreciation (though that is starting to roll in.) I want to be comfortable in my space. Having dh’s stuff organized will make me less bananas and more comfortable. So I am going to be folding his dang underwear prettty soon! For my own sake.

[Rosie_0801]

I will put other people's clothing away if I can reach their wardrobe and drawers. I remember a family member being pleasantly surprised one day that I'd put his washing away, and I said "Yes! You cleaned up between the bed and the wardrobe doors, so I could reach!" I think that patch of clear carpet lasted a good week or two.

I never fold underwear. I can't even imagine how to care enough to do that! It goes into the drawer. On top of the pinch bar. I'm not sure why I'm keeping the pinch bar in there.

[Pawz4me]

I do all the laundry, fold/hang it and put it away in the appropriate closets or drawers. To my way of thinking it's all one job, and if I only do half of it then I haven't done it, or at least not done it in an acceptable-to-me way. It would drive me batty to leave laundry (or any other thing) only partially done. But I don't mind doing laundry. I think it's one of the easiest and most rewarding household tasks. But we're all different--there's no right or wrong way, as long as what you're doing works for you and your family.

[Terabith]

I fold laundry, but underwear is not folded, nor are pajamas.  They just get wadded up in the correct pile and owner puts them in his/ her drawer.  Socks all go in a communal sock bin and mostly I only buy socks that go together now that kids and I are all the same size.  People are responsible for finding their own matches. I despise trying to pair socks.  I did do it when kids were little and different sizes.  

[lavender's green]

I frequently fold DH's socks and underwear, because if I leave them unfolded in a pile, they may or may not get put away. I'd rather just do the whole chore properly and have a totally clean bedroom in the end. I also took over the organization of the drawer, because everything fits only if it's neat.

I don't mind. He does the dishes, scrubs the shower, and handles anything remotely icky. 

I wouldn't talk about it in public, though. LOL. I can see how it might look subservient. 

Edit: FTR, my parents would be horrified if they knew I was folding DH's laundry and tucking it neatly into his sock drawer. They have enough of a problem with me not having a "real job." Folding DH's undies would just be icing on the cake. 

Edited January 23, 2019 by lavender's green

[Rosie_0801]

41 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I fold laundry, but underwear is not folded, nor are pajamas.  They just get wadded up in the correct pile and owner puts them in his/ her drawer.  Socks all go in a communal sock bin and mostly I only buy socks that go together now that kids and I are all the same size.  People are responsible for finding their own matches. I despise trying to pair socks.  I did do it when kids were little and different sizes.  

 

Sorting socks is the pits.

[Chris in VA]

I've never thought of it as icky. Kids did their own laundry, and dh did his, too, for the last 20 years of our now-33 year old marriage. He ruined a few of my things by doing the laundry, so we just separated it out and everyone did their own. 

Then we moved here. I have little to do at the moment. I have a tiny washer that is also the dryer, and all the kids are gone, so it's just our clothes in the pile. I fold everything neatly. I don't feel the least bit subservient. My goodness, it's just clothes. I wash his dishes, too. 😉

 

[Lawana]

I fold underwear. Dh really likes and appreciates how neatly I roll his long boxer briefs lol. Sometimes I put them away and sometimes he does. Folding laundry is kind of my thing, ever since I was about 12 and overheard my mother on the phone mentioning that I was good at helping but still didn’t line up the folds on the towels. I was horrified because I had never noticed that she did that and she had never said anything to me about it. So I made it my business to become as perfect as I could be at folding. TMI 😝 

[Annie G]

Dh and I both do laundry so it probably evens out- he puts mine away as often as I put his away. 

When our kids turned 11 their laundry was turned over to them. I rarely folded any of their laundry after that. 

[ktgrok]

6 hours ago, MissLemon said:

Kiddo puts his stuff away and some household things away.  I put DH's stuff away and my stuff away.  I fold zero underwear.  It all gets tossed into the drawer, willy-nilly. 

This. I fold most laundry (not the teenager son's....he does his own). My husband has limited time at home and I'd rather he not spend it doing laundry, so I do his with mine. We share a hamper anyway, I'm not going to sort it to pull his stuff out while I do mine. Kids put their own laundry away, sometimes they fold it as well. 

But I absolutely do NOT fold underwear. I can't begin to see a reason for folding it. It just gets put in the drawer as is. 

[CAJinBE]

I fold and put away his underwear and t-shirts. I think it's part of doing the laundry. He does other chores.

[Sherry in OH]

I fold everyone's laundry.  I put away dh's laundry and my own.  I put the children's laundry back into their baskets for them to put away.  When we have overnight guests, their laundry gets washed and folded and piled for them to put away.  It is clean when it folded.  

I dislike mating socks.  It seems to take forever.  Partly because there are so many pieces, and partly because all the members of my family wear similar but not the same sizes. I have to look at each sock to determine its owner.  I do it anyway.  

My grandmother ironed my grandfather's boxers.  I rarely iron anything and certainly not underwear.

 

[TheReader]

I fold everyone's if I'm the one doing the laundry (oldest began doing laundry not long ago, and he would fold if he took out of the dryer), the kids come collect their folded/hung items from the laundry room (or the basket on the couch...), I put away mine & dh's. Not out of any kind of "serving him" attitude or anything, but because when I'm doing laundry, he's usually at work, so it just makes sense to go ahead and put his away while I'm in there putting mine away, rather than waiting on him to get home and do it. 

Now, I don't "fold" underwear, per se....DH"s I fold, because that's how he likes it. Everyone else's I just kind of loosely fold in half and stack up, socks I just stack up (no matching/pairing of socks except the dress socks), and everyone gets a pile. However it lands in their drawers is fine. DH's are the neatest, because that's his preference. Mine are a mess, because I don't care. To me, it's no different than knowing how he likes his coffee.....it's just something I do. 

I'd like for whoever takes the clothes from the dryer to be the one to fold (otherwise it's not actually finishing the job), but DH never does when he's the one to pull clothes out, so...:shrug: I don't mind doing it; he does lots of other things around here (as do the kids); laundry has just fallen in as my chore. Not a big deal for me. 

Edited January 23, 2019 by TheReader

[MercyA]

I fold and put away all the laundry, including underwear, and I like it. 😉It's by far my favorite household task. 

Random: when my mom was in high school, she had a job doing ironing for a priest. She actually ironed his boxers. I don't iron much of anything and can't imagine ironing underwear. Different times! [ETA: LOL! I hadn't seen Sherry's post before writing this. I guess it was a thing back then.]

Edited January 23, 2019 by MercyA

[desertflower]

I or my husband will fold his underwear. it doesn't matter who does the laundry. we don't fold mine though.

[almondbutterandjelly]

1 hour ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Sorting socks is the pits.

I love sorting socks.  I hate laundry though.  Every person in the house does their own, and my dh does the bedding.  But anyone can hand me a pile of clean socks any time to sort, and I will happily do it.  (I also occasionally enjoy folding my dd's clothes because they're so little and cute.)

[marbel]

I put away my husband's laundry most of the time.  It's no big deal to me. I don't fold underwear though - his or mine.  I just put it in the drawers.  We can find what we need without any trouble.  Kids take care of their own - if I do a load of laundry that includes their stuff, I just leave it in a pile for them to deal with.  I don't think of it as subservient, just a way of dividing up the work that needs to be done.  He does other things for me. 

 

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I do all the laundry for dh and me.  All the underwear gets folded neatly (wouldn't fit in the drawer otherwise).  Interestingly, folding underwear is the only thing dh does, then we each put away our own.  Our socks are simple because we each have about a dozen identical pairl, so we just stack them up.  

Kiddos do their own laundry, and I don't think any of them fold their underwear.

[SKL]

I generally fold and put away all the laundry for myself and my kids.

I enjoy laundry, and also, we have space issues - there is too much of everything and it just gets messy if I ask others to "organize."

Occasionally I do make my kids do it, as I suspect I'm setting them up for a life of incompetence.  Eventually of course they will do their own all the time.

I don't have a husband.  But when I was a teen, it was my job to do the laundry for everyone, including my parents and brothers.  I probably folded the underwear in half and left it in each person's clothes basket.  (It's long ago and fuzzy now.)

[SKL]

As for whether I fold underwear - no, I lay it flat because it is neat enough that way.  If it was messy, I would probably fold it just because I feel better when things are neat.  For each of me and my daughters, I have separate stacks of underwear, bras/undershirts, bootie shorts (for under the kids' skirts), and then the socks are all balled in pairs in another section.

[Ellie]

I fold mine and Mr. Ellie's, and yes, I put his away, because why not, since I'm putting mine away at the same time.

I did my dc's until they were old enough to do their own. I don' t know if they folded their undies or not. 🙂

[MercyA]

57 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I'm wondering what the fabrics were like then. I know my Grandmother told me for a good portion of her life there was no such thing as non-wrinkly anything so she pressed everything from boxers to pillow cases to sheets.....she had the whole wash on Monday, Iron on Tuesday, or whatever that saying is where you had to sprinkle the clothes the day before and then she literally said she spent around 8 hours ironing her family's clothing and bedding. I cannot even fathom that level of work.

Now, you're younger than me I think, so by the time you were in high school the fabrics were surely different! But I guess it was a hold over maybe from when they weren't so only a decade or two before? I don't know. Of course, I know people who have their jeans still pressed at the cleaners, so I guess some people just really, really like ironed/pressed things! 

It was actually my mom who did the ironing of the priest's boxers--it would have been in the 1960's. I'm sure it did make the boxers more comfortable!

I'm in my mid-40's, so I was a teen in the 80's and early 90's. My mom still ironed my jeans at that time "to make them softer." She spoiled me, I think. :) 

[Lecka]

On the ironing — my mom told me similar, that sheets would truly feel uncomfortable to sleep on if they weren’t ironed, but now there is no need.

I do put away my husband’s laundry including his underwear.  He does other chores and he will do it if I need help with it because of having other things going on or being sick, etc.  In general though, this is definitely one of my chores.  

[SKL]

My mom still does laundry for my dad and my sister (who doesn't even live there).  Mom likes laundry - it's like her favorite pastime.  It must be genetic.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Add me to the group that folds my DH's underwear.  

My kids unload dishes from the dishwasher that they didn't eat from.  I cook food I don't eat.  My kids scrub toilets they didn't necessarily scum up.  My toddler lines up shoes in the shoe rack that he doesn't wear.  

My DH earns money he doesn't spend (because I spend it).

I don't believe (clean) underwear contain any sort of cooties, so I have no issues handling them.  My own underwear just gets tossed in a basket in my drawer due to the material.... wouldn't stay folded even if I tried.  

I hate matching socks, but I see that as being totally irrelevant to whether or not I do it. 

[Scarlett]

9 hours ago, BakersDozen said:

While visiting with our adopted grandmother today the topic of organizing came up. She said that her husband once thanked her for keeping his underwear drawer so tidy. I just stood there, blinking a bit and speechless (a rare occurrence). If I fold underwear and put it away for anyone that person better be under the age of 4. So I just have to ask if such a thing is standard/normal - folding/putting away a husband's underwear (or other laundry too, I suppose). I kind of sort of thought that the one whose bum the undergarment is on is the one to fold/put it away. I despised having to sort socks and underwear as a kid. There were only 4 of us but I still remember standing in the laundry room, grumbling because why couldn't everyone just grab their own darn items and fold them?? Such a hard childhood I had...

I wash and fold and put away all of the laundry for dh and myself.  Currently I am also doing that for ds18  because he is doing a small cleaning job for me on the weekends in exchange.  

I love laundry.  I would prefer to do dss17 because when I see him pull a white dress shirt out of a load with blue jeans I nearly lose my mind.  Bite my tongue a lot.  

One tip I got from these boards years ago is to give each child a garnet bag (like for delicates) and wash and dry their socks together.  Puts an end to the tedious job of separating and matching socks.  

Edited January 23, 2019 by Scarlett

[Farrar]

Dh does the house laundry. The kids are supposed to do their own, but in reality, dh often does it. He folds it all, including my underwear. We put our own away.

I am not fussed about anyone doing it. The only thing that raises my hackles is if someone else is expected to do it without a fair trade off. As in, I do all the cooking and cleaning of the kitchen, plus I clean all the bathrooms. If I did those things and no one did any other tasks around the house, that would tick me off.

[edelweiss]

I do all of the laundry for the household (although DH or my daughters will do their own laundry occasionally for various reasons).  I fold everyone's laundry, including all underwear, and put it in baskets.  They are responsible for putting their own laundry away.

[skimomma]

I do all of the laundry in my house.  My dh and dd are capable of doing their own but it is more efficient to do everyone's together as no one would have full loads before running out of essential items.  Plus, our laundry is in a very public part of our living space.  I want laundry done as infrequently and efficiently as possible so that area is not a constant mess.  I do not fold underwear.  I do fold everything else.  I put mine and dh's away.  We share drawers and it just doesn't make sense to leave his when it takes no more time to put his away.  I drop dd's laundry basket of folded clothing inside her room.  She puts her own away.

[AmandaVT]

DS and I do most of the laundry because we're home the most. Usually, I fold and put away DH's and my clothing and DS folds and puts away his. But no undie folding for any of us. We all have underwear and sock drawers and things just get put in there as is. (I do like organizing socks though) DH usually does a load or two on the weekends when I'm at the office and he and DS are home. He will fold and put away my stuff for me as well. 

[Baseball mom]

I do most of the laundry.  I fold or hang it then yell "come get your stuff"

Underwear is not folded.  It is in piles to be dumped in your drawer.   Mesh zippered lingerie bags  are the way to go for socks.  Everyone has their own labeled bag.  Dirty socks in your bag every day.  Zip, wash, dry.  If you fold then each person socks are separated.  Or the bag can be dumped or tossed in their drawer.  Yeah several bags per person is even better.

Kids know how and do various load of laundry when I ask, Usually when I think they need to practice more 😜 (aka I am being lazy and tell the to take care of laundry)

[Kareni]

I do all of our laundry which includes folding underwear, matching socks, hanging shirts, and folding jeans when dry. I also put it all away. I also wash the dishes and take out the trash and recyclables; I keep our social calendar and send cards for birthdays, etc. My husband does 98% of our cooking, bakes our bread, does most of the house cleaning, all of the yard work, and works for pay. I'm a fortunate woman.

Regards,

Kareni

[Miss Tick]

I don't mind folding everyone's laundry because that is my reading time. I wedge my book under the basket and then read and fold. I make piles on the bedroom floor around me. I have to stop in order to sort socks, though. DH likes his underwear folded; I prefer mine not folded. I accommodate reasonable requests. He usually makes breakfast, so it all works out.

[EMS83]

I do mine and DH's, not the kids.  I guess it's a "you're at work all day, so I'll do the stuff around here" thing, though I realize if he were on his own, he'd have to figure things out himself, lol.  What I don't do is move his clothes from the floor to the hamper.  I wash what is in the hamper (though this is a relatively new practice).

Edited January 23, 2019 by CES2005

[theelfqueen]

Clarification -- my kids CAN  do laundry (my Oldest was considered the choremaster by his college roommates because he required all of them to clean things LOL) and sometimes they do their own, or others (especially sheets and towels) but it's generally more efficient for me to do it. So that it's on my timeline not theirs.
Just yesterday my 13 year old washed, dried, folded and put away a load of his own laundry... because I was busy and it needed done, and I didn't have a queue of other laundry lined up.

Oh -- but I HATE hanging things up -- so I don't do that. Things that need hanging are laid neatly across the top of the basket of folded laundry for the recipient to deal with. (including my own -- I leave them across the top of the basket -- DH puts them on hangers for me, then I put them away in the closet)

Edited January 23, 2019 by theelfqueen

[Storygirl]

The kids do their own laundry, and I don't supervise how they fold, any more, other than one of them, who has EF issues and needs instruction. I know DD17 folds her undies into tiny squares; the others I am not sure about.  I taught them to fold them, but I suspect they may just throw them in the drawer.

I am not fond of folding laundry, so even though my mother taught me very precise ways to fold properly, I developed some shortcuts that work well enough. For underwear, I fold in half and stack before putting in the drawer. DH wears boxer briefs, which are bigger, so they are folded in fourths. We wash our underwear together, but separately from other laundry (we have a three-bin hamper -- one section is mine; one is his; one for undies). We each do our own laundry, but either of us might throw in the load of underwear as needed. DH will fold mine and put it in my drawer. If I fold his, I leave it in a neat stack on the bed, and he puts it away. I could put his away; I don't really know why I don't. Perhaps because he is generally in charge of caring for his own clothes.

[Storygirl]

By the way, another way to keep socks together is to safety pin them together before throwing them in the hamper. My mom had us do this when I was growing up, and bought large colored safety pins, so we could each have our own color, and she would know whose socks they were (diaper pins from the diaper aisle).

It would work really well for my kids, if I could get them to do it. Getting some of them just to get their laundry into the hamper to begin with has been a decade long learning experience, so requiring them to pin things is unrealistic.

But it really does work great, if the people in your household are willing to do it.

[fairfarmhand]

7 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I will put other people's clothing away if I can reach their wardrobe and drawers. I remember a family member being pleasantly surprised one day that I'd put his washing away, and I said "Yes! You cleaned up between the bed and the wardrobe doors, so I could reach!" I think that patch of clear carpet lasted a good week or two.

I never fold underwear. I can't even imagine how to care enough to do that! It goes into the drawer. On top of the pinch bar. I'm not sure why I'm keeping the pinch bar in there.

What is a pinch bar?

[alisoncooks]

The *only* underwear I fold is DH's. I shove mine in the drawer. I hand my kids theirs in a big pile, and they shove it in their drawers. DH's underwear need to be folded to fit tidy in his dresser, and since I put his stuff away... I fold. 

[marbel]

1 hour ago, CES2005 said:

I do mine and DH's, not the kids.  I guess it's a "you're at work all day, so I'll do the stuff around here" thing, though I realize if he were on his own, he'd have to figure things out himself, lol.  What I don't do is move his clothes from the floor to the hamper.  I wash what is in the hamper (though this is a relatively new practice).

Well, sure.  Fortunately it's not rocket science.  :-)  There are a bunch of things I'd have to figure out if suddenly my husband wasn't around to do all the stuff he does around here!  I'd be in worse shape than he would, I think!  

[vonfirmath]

13 hours ago, BakersDozen said:

While visiting with our adopted grandmother today the topic of organizing came up. She said that her husband once thanked her for keeping his underwear drawer so tidy. I just stood there, blinking a bit and speechless (a rare occurrence). If I fold underwear and put it away for anyone that person better be under the age of 4. So I just have to ask if such a thing is standard/normal - folding/putting away a husband's underwear (or other laundry too, I suppose). I kind of sort of thought that the one whose bum the undergarment is on is the one to fold/put it away. I despised having to sort socks and underwear as a kid. There were only 4 of us but I still remember standing in the laundry room, grumbling because why couldn't everyone just grab their own darn items and fold them?? Such a hard childhood I had...

 

My mom put away my dad's laundry. My sister and I folded it.

[vonfirmath]

6 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

This. I fold most laundry (not the teenager son's....he does his own). My husband has limited time at home and I'd rather he not spend it doing laundry, so I do his with mine. We share a hamper anyway, I'm not going to sort it to pull his stuff out while I do mine. Kids put their own laundry away, sometimes they fold it as well. 

But I absolutely do NOT fold underwear. I can't begin to see a reason for folding it. It just gets put in the drawer as is. 

 

The reason to fold laundry is so it fits in the drawer better. OTOH. I have bras, underwear, socks, bra bags, and a couple of pair of tights all crammed into that one drawer.

 

[Rosie_0801]

50 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

What is a pinch bar?

 

Except mine is a better one.
I don't know why it's called a pinch bar either. It doesn't pinch things.