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About skimomma

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    Hive Mind Worker Bee

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  1. Update - So based on your responses, I went ahead and called HR. I CAN use sick time for this! Which is a great relief. Thanks for weighing in! Don't ask me why I didn't just call. I guess I was worried they would laugh then hang up.
  2. Well..... She "handled" it but struggled with Intermediate Algebra, which is why we jumped ship. But I do see your point.
  3. Wow. I'm surprised. I figured this would kind of be a for sure no-go. I didn't even want to ask the benefits office if it was way off base. I'd welcome more input.
  4. Dd will be a junior next year. She is currently finishing up Algebra II using Forester. She started the year using AoPS Intermediate Algebra and successfully completed AoPS Pre-Algebra through Geometry. Intermediate Algebra was taking too much time and we decided to switch course mid-year. Most of Forester has been review for her due to covering much of the topics in AoPS Intro to Algebra. But because we switched course mid-year, we will not get to any of the trig units. I am now trying to plan the rest of her high school math. Dd will be taking fall semester of 11th grade off of math entirely. She is attending a one semester boarding school that does not offer math. So, I have three semesters in which to complete two full high school credits of math. I have a great DE option at my disposal. While researching this option and making an assumption that college Pre-Calc is the next best route, I see I have two options. She could either take one semester of Pre-Calc or two semesters of College Algebra and Trig, which translates to one semester of Pre-Calc. Both options would translate to one high school credit of Pre-Calc. She will have to take a math placement test but I suspect she will be eligible to take Pre-Calc so the choice would be ours. I am only considering the two semesters of College Algebra because she has never taken a non-mommy math class so is not used to tests and strict timelines, although she has taken other tough outsourced classes with success. And she will have had no prior exposure to trig. The downside is that there would probably be a lot of review which could be boring and it forces us into having her take DE Calculus I during the spring of her 12th grade year in order to get the full 4 math credits. If she just takes the one-semester Pre-Calc class, she would have more options for that last credit of math such as Derek Owens, taking it at home, or taking two semesters of DE Calc if Pre-Calc went well. What says the hive?
  5. I am in the process of helping my elderly mother, who suffers from dementia, move into assisted living. I live quite far from her so will be taking a full week off of work to conduct the actual move. This is a bit tricky because I recently started this job and will have to take all of my available vacation time and "borrow against" future vacation time to make it work. This puts my meager summer vacation plans at risk since I will not have any time left. This is not the end of the world and I just assumed that was what would happen. I was discussing this with a friend and she said I should look into using sick time instead. My employer's sick time policy (as mandated by state law) allows me to take sick time to help family members with medical-related tasks. My friend is arguing that because my mom's move into assisted living is being done because she is not medically safe to live independently and was advised by a doctor, it should count. That seems like a stretch to me. What do people think?
  6. Thanks for the input so far. It sounds like there might be hope. I am juggling a lot of drama and stress in my life right now so this was probably a very unwise decision. We are going to try in earnest to continue the introduction plan. But to be honest, I have about 1-2 weeks before I will have to wave the white flag. The sheer amount of time this is all taking is not sustainable and we just learned that we may have some emergency travel in the near future. There is no way I can leave this situation as is with a cat sitter. I am still happy to hear more advice or feel good stories with similar situations turning out ok.
  7. I need to know if this situation is hopeless. After the death of our beloved 22 yo cat in December, we decided we were ready to add a new cat to the family. We already have a 14yo female cat who is quite sedentary and not terribly affectionate. We went to the humane society and adopted a 1.5yo female cat two weeks ago. I was hoping the two cats would be friends (but happy to settle for toleration) so we have been following the standard introduction process very carefully. New cat has her own space and we slowly went through letting them explore each other's spaces without the other present up to the point where both cats have been all over the house on their own for days. We then moved on to feeding them treats or meals with one on each side of a closed door with a 2 inch gap underneath. Lots of hissing/growling at first with new cat trying to swipe old cat through the gap. After a few sessions of this, they calmed down. The next thing we were to try was feeding them with each on one side of a baby gate. There was an adult with each cat. Despite this precaution, the moment she got the chance, new cat jumped the gate and viciously attacked old cat. It happened so fast. We didn't even know she could jump like that. We got them separated. Dh suffered some serious scratches and bites from new cat during the break up. Serious enough that I think he will need medical attention. Old cat was scratched up but luckily no serious injuries. One scratched is disturbingly close to her eye. Old cat somehow does not seem seriously bothered by this. She is behaving normally and has even been "patrolling" the door to new cat's room from time to time in a non-agitated, curious sort of way. Meanwhile, we are starting to understand that new cat is very clever. We can no longer enter or exit "her" room because she bolts out the second the door is cracked. We are pretty agile and fast but she now gets past us about 50% of the time. We now have to lock up old cat to even go into new cat room because we fear another altercation. Last night, new cat figured out how to work the door handle. She has been working on this skill for days but last night she succeeded. Luckily, I heard the door open and was able to grab new cat on her way to get at old cat, just in time. I used a few thumb tacks to temporarily secure the door to get through the night. She continued to work the door knob all night. Dh installed a hook-eye lock on that door as soon as we got up. When new cat was in the shelter, she was free roaming with the other cats. There was no indication that she did not get along with other cats. This was listed in the description of other cats there so we assumed she would be OK. New cat is super sweet and lovey to humans. The only real biting/scratching she has done was during the breakup. Old cat was never "friends" with the cat that passed in December. But they never physically fought. They pretty much ignored each other. Is there any hope? Any tips on what to do next? I am worried that I will never trust new cat loose in the house. The attack is seared into my brain. It was very traumatic for all of us. Do we have to consider taking new cat back?
  8. Coming back to add that late night texting is another problem. We turn her WIFI off at 10:00 on weeknights and 12:00 on weekends. This is terribly "embarrassing" to dd. She claims no one else is treated in such a babyish fashion. And she is right, I have asked the parents of several of her friends and these kids do indeed have full access to their phones all night long. Some of thee kids are as young as 13 and 14! And anything discussed past bedtime is usually drama drama drama, which is terrible for healthy sleep habits. Dd struggles with insomnia so I am not about to budge on this. But it is probably the biggest disagreement we have with her. She is so mortified that she will not even tell anyone, including her boyfriend, that her WIFI gets shut off. He just thinks she ghosts him every night at 10:00.....sometimes mid-conversation. I have encouraged her to make us the "bad guys" and tell everyone that her stupid parents are mean mean MEAN. I am totally cool with that. But it is still just too embarrassing for her to bring up.
  9. What do you do if the things that distract them on the phone are also available on their laptop? Dd takes online classes and uses her laptop in some capacity for almost every subject. Some form of texting (be it hangouts, iMessage, etc....) is really the biggest source of distraction for dd. She is 15 and all of her friends are in school. If there are any rules about phone use in school, they are NOT being enforced as she has a steady stream of texts coming in all. day. long. She often turns off her notifications so she doesn't see them but I work out of the home for most of the day and *I* need her to see my texts. Also, being the only homeschooled kid in her friend group, we try really hard to not put restrictions on her that makes it even harder for her to connect with her friends. Plans and rides are often settled during school and I don't want her to lose the ability to coordinate. But she does not need the other 500 texts a day.
  10. I have been thinking about this thread over the last few days. It hits a nerve with me because we are currently engaging in an ongoing discussion with some close friends over the very same topic. We both have (oldest) kids of the age where college discussions are starting. We both could fall into the self-pay category. And we both "could" afford just about any option but not without some serious sacrifice in retirement savings, house projects, travel, and other not-100%-necessary but important-to-us expenses. All four parents work in academia for the same state university. These are very close friends and we are more "family" than friends. Our kids are best friends. Both of the kids in question are quite bright, test high, and are ambitious. But neither is likely to land significant merit aid. And neither is expected to start college with a clear major in mind. Dh and I do not plan to write a blank check for any college direction dd might chose. We are encouraging dd to consider attending our home (state) university. We would not require her to live at home, but being local, we could economize on living options and we get a tuition break based on our employment. She could graduate 100% debt free if she takes that route. She certainly would be able to get into far more prestigious colleges. She is free to consider other options but there will be clear limits on how much we are willing to pay for those options and that loans would be required to make up the rest. We are also already discussing different majors and the job prospects attached to those....and how loan repayment fits into those parameters. We are certainly not making any decisions FOR dd but we are limiting our financial contribution by capping it to what attending our home university would cost. Dh and I both paid for college ourselves, with a LOT of loans, so we feel what we are willing to contribute is quite generous. Other couple think that "the college experience" (being far from home, dorm living, etc....) is very VERY important....almost to the point of "forbidding" their dd to even think of attending our home university. They feel that choice of major should not take job prospects into consideration. Loan repayment is not a concern as they will fully fund all college expenses for any direction their dd choses. Also, interestingly, their own college expenses were 100% covered by their parents and they graduated debt free. Dd is not spoiled and understands our position. She is grateful that we are able and willing to help her at all. But does feel like her friend has the whole world open to her with no restrictions while dd has more to think about when making her college decisions, even though both families have similar economic resources. I don't know that this is a bad thing, necessarily, but can say dd notices the difference. They (the other couple) think what we are doing is almost abusive. Not just dickering over who pays for what or limiting what we will pay for, but by encouraging her to consider staying close. It is "stifling" and "helicoptering" and dd will "never learn to grow up." This is not an uncommon theme from other parents in my area. Most of these parents are also tied to the university so we really all do have a front row seat to student life. We all tend to fall into the two solid camps that our friends and we do. It's either, this is a pretty good deal, this is a pretty good school, this town is big enough for our kids to have most of the "college experience" without breaking the bank. Or it's, our kids are too familiar with out local university to get the "college experience," they will never learn to grow if they don't go off somewhere new, and "why wouldn't you want your kid to aim higher than a non-flagship state school?" It surprises me how entrenched each side seems to be on this. Many a heated discussion has taken place over this. I can see both sides. But when it comes down to it, almost ANY college choice has pros and cons. I don't believe there is one single best route. And if you have a kid that is going to thrive in any environment, why purposely choose the $80K/year one when a $20K/year choice will be good as well? Maybe better, maybe worse, but definitely not a $60K/year difference in either direction.
  11. I have a very old house with a running list of MAJOR problems so I know the feeling. We are good friends with a couple of contractors so we have been lucky to be able to get some advice as to prioritizing and getting an idea of costs before decided what to tackle next. And we are always tackling something next. We would move except the location and layout of the house would be hard to replicate and while it costs a small fortune to maintain, the base mortgage is very low, so worth it. No real advice on your specific problems except the windows. Our windows are "modern" (as in 1970s as opposed to 1870s) but were likely cheap. They really need to be replaced but are so far down on the priority list at the moment, they are not likely to be replaced any time soon. Every year, one or two busts a seal and gets foggy. As they go, we get them fixed at our local glass shop. It is about $80 per window. I take the window out, bring it in to be measured, put it back, then return it when the glass comes in to be replaced. It is a pain but far less expensive than replacing the entire windows. For additional costs, they will come to my house to measure and then install. But every penny counts with my house so I do the leg work since my windows are generally small enough that I can manage it.
  12. They are quite common in our area. Our house had a walk-through bedroom at one point before we moved in. Many of dd's friends have them. Since it is common, no one really thinks of it as being a big issue. I say go for it. It doesn't matter what others think if it works for you. Especially if it is temporary and can easily be converted back should you no longer need it or want to sell. Even in a selling situation, you could always call it part of the "master suite" rather than a separate bedroom.
  13. My 10th grader does one literary analysis paper each month. These are typically 2 pages, including citations, so not crazy. So far, for 9th and 10th grade, I have assigned one more in-depth paper, 4-6 pages in length. I assign one "great book" each month. She typically spends the first week researching the type of work, the history of the time in which it was written, researches the author, and reads the introduction. The next two weeks are reading the work. The last week is writing the analysis. Dd is welcome to suggest a focus for the analysis, which I use to create a prompt. Sometimes she is stumped and I provide one without her input. This is all part of our mish-mash of rhetoric, world history, and literature that adds up to 2 credits, although if I really look at the work/effort involved, it is probably worth 3. This is due to my STEM-leaning overcompensation for fears of not being an adequate teacher:) I do have her papers assessed by a friend who is a professor of rhetoric. My dd enjoys writing so this works for us. I would back it WAY off with no guilt if dd was not on board.
  14. Thanks! I should have mentioned that I am already on her bank accounts. We did that when I was last visiting her. And she gave me copies of all of her statements so I at least know what bills there are, accounts numbers, and such. So I am not starting from scratch, at least. Most of it could just be converted to online billing which I would just need to oversee, but even getting that to happen is a struggle because that requires my mom to contact each place to set it up. She gets too flustered and never follows through, even if I can get her to agree to it. So, I think I will have to go the POA route.
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