7 yo son says he doesn't want to do any sports or lessons

[pinkmint]

Spinoff of a spinoff from a few weeks ago. 

 

My 7 year old ds has what I believe is a surplus of energy. It comes out in things like bullying his little sister etc. He is homeschooled FYI. 

 

Finances are a concern but I know there are (thanks to the suggestions of some of you) reasonably priced ways to get into team sports or lessons. I asked my son today what, if any sport or lesson, would interest him. He said "You already asked me that and I told you, nothing." Ok, so literally nothing interests him in terms of extracurricular activities. 

 

Do you push something in this case? 

 

For the record, he likes to build wooden tracks for his trains, act out lots of pretend-play, build lego stuff, figure out puzzle type games etc. 

[maize]

He can't know whether he likes something that he has not tried.

[Tess in the Burbs]

Why not go find physical things to do?  Put it on the calendar and go to the park twice weekly as long as the weather is over 50.  Just 30 minutes of them running around will be good.  Ask other homeschoolers to join you.  We did year round park dates for a long time.  While the moms froze during winter, the kids did run around and got energy out.  Bring chair/blankets for you.  Let the kids go!  Or look for indoor physical activity things to do.  Trampoline places, bowling, indoor play areas(my area seems to have  a lot of these pay for indoor play places).  Make obstacle courses inside or outside of your house.  Kids can do colder weather if you dress them right.  :-)

 

As for sports...my son went through phases. He played some.  Then nothing.  Then something else.  Then nothing.  It changed every 3 months.  What about his friends?  What do they do?  Has he gone to watch a game/match of this?  Seeing others doing it might spark his interest.  

 

I wouldn't worry if he doesn't want to do it.  But you can find outlets for the energy.  The best thing I ever did was buy an indoor kid trampoline for when mine were young.  They jumped and jumped and jumped.  It seriously saved us some days.  One year I bought a bunch of outdoor play items.  MEGA HUGE balls, see saw, yard games.  The point was to keep getting them active even through winter.  

 

 

[Laura Corin]

For us, daily PE was a normal part of school. If they had nothing else on, they ran laps. So for us it would be a question of what not whether.

Edited January 9, 2016 by Laura Corin

[Arcadia]

My boys are just not into sports so I didn't push. What I do insist is some form of PE. So we swim when the pool is heated, run when the pool is too cold. They have tried most sports except bowling but nothing interest them. As long as my kids aren't sedentary I let it be.

 

Hubby and I are not into sports either. We prefer hiking as a hobby.

[Chris in VA]

I wouldn't. You'll waste your money, and irritate your child.

 

I would, however, look at ways you can help him manage both his emotions and his energy. And, I'd look into strengthening his inhibitory control.

 

For the first two, I'd probably make an effort to take all children to an activity like swimming. It's GREAT for channeling all that energy. I'd also try getting outside a lot--do you do that now? Double it! Long park walks (take a stroller for the littles), nature trails, whatever you have around you--

 

For the IC, I'd work on the higher value. Inhibitory control is part of executive function, and in layman's terms, means "not doing what you want to do because you have a higher value." He needs to have the higher values of obedience to you and not hurting his little sister. So setting up bonding activities might help. Of course, there are also lots of other ways to stop bullying, but getting to the heart of it is important, imo.

[KungFuPanda]

I'd believe him and try organized sports later. With the amount of time you'd invest getting him to and from activities, you could instead get him outside and active more often. Is there a playground nearby that you can hit twice a day instead of once? Or a daily walk you can make longer? Can you add an extra hike in the evening when Dad gets home? I think boys behave better when they're tired, but daily exercise at home can be more beneficial than hauling him to an activity a few times a week.

[J&JMom]

My oldest wasn't interested in any sports until he was exposed to basketball in Cub Scouts.  Cub Scouts is great for exposing kids to new activities in a non-commital way. My son played on an Upward (noncompetitive) team for 2 years before he decided it wasn't his thing.  Both my boys aren't into organized sports, but love camping, archery, swimming, and hiking -- all encouraged in

Scouting. 

 

[T'smom]

I quit trying to get my 8 year old to sign up for sports because I was tired of paying money to listen to him cry about it. We recently bought an indoor trampoline and it is wonderful for burning energy. In the summer, we do lots of swimming, hiking and tennis, (he seems more suited to individual activities instead of team sports) but in the winter, we don't get out nearly as much as we should.

[Rosie_0801]

My ex would get antsy if he was between RPG groups (Dungeons and Dragons type stuff.) Maybe your kiddo is another such one who needs to keep his imagination working more than his body.

[kirstenhill]

We recently bought a mini indoor trampoline (It was in the range of $40 or so).  It gets quite cold in the winter here and some days are just not ideal for being outside more than a few minutes.  It really, really helps my boys with having an energy outlet on those cold days. 

 

I would also be apt to say that if he has no interest in organized sports, it isn't your best use of money or time.  Do any places have "open gym" near you? We have regular gyms that have open gym in the winter for running around, basketball, etc.  Gymnastics places also have open gym to just play around on equipment, bounce on trampolines, etc.

[JudoMom]

When my boys were little we decided that, for our family, individualized sports and activities and all the running around that would cause, were not for our family.  I am so glad we made that decision, because now that they are older and have individualized interests we want to encourage, we spend a lot of time running around and I'm so thankful we haven't been doing this since they were small.

That said, I did find activities they could do together.  We did Judo for 9 years (and still would be if the dojo where I taught was an option)--my older 2 started when they were 6 & 5, and the rest started by age 5 (though my youngest got his first gi at 3---I promised him one when he potty trained).  They took a homeschool gymnastics class once a week during the day for 5 years, and in December we dropped that in favor of a family membership to a rock climbing gym.   They all took swimming lessons together.  We met families at parks.  

There were times they complained or didn't want to do the activity, but I simply explained it was what we were doing and the reasons.  Looking back, this is one area where I have no regrets.

[JustEm]

I wouldn't push it especially if finances are tight. Instead, provide him with physical activities regularly at home or for free. A trampoline, trapeze style swing,plenty of outdoor time. My children even do math and phonics while jumping, tumbling, doing cart wheels, etc. We make it into a game. For example, tell me what 2 and 2 is through cart wheels. I join them so they can call out problems for me to do.

[Gil]

In my home, daily physical exercises and participating in seasonal sports is a requirement. No amount of saying "But I don't want to..." would deter me anymore than it would if it were taking medicine.

 

I know that this exercise (both physical and social) is good for them in a variety of ways, so yes, I force them when necessary. Whether or not my approach is the right one for your family, well talk it over with his dad and see what you think.

 

 

[barnwife]

Why not go find physical things to do?  Put it on the calendar and go to the park twice weekly as long as the weather is over 50.  Just 30 minutes of them running around will be good.  Ask other homeschoolers to join you.  We did year round park dates for a long time.  While the moms froze during winter, the kids did run around and got energy out.  Bring chair/blankets for you.  Let the kids go!  Or look for indoor physical activity things to do.  Trampoline places, bowling, indoor play areas(my area seems to have  a lot of these pay for indoor play places).  Make obstacle courses inside or outside of your house.  Kids can do colder weather if you dress them right.  :-)

 

As for sports...my son went through phases. He played some.  Then nothing.  Then something else.  Then nothing.  It changed every 3 months.  What about his friends?  What do they do?  Has he gone to watch a game/match of this?  Seeing others doing it might spark his interest.  

 

I wouldn't worry if he doesn't want to do it.  But you can find outlets for the energy.  The best thing I ever did was buy an indoor kid trampoline for when mine were young.  They jumped and jumped and jumped.  It seriously saved us some days.  One year I bought a bunch of outdoor play items.  MEGA HUGE balls, see saw, yard games.  The point was to keep getting them active even through winter.  

I haven't read all the responses...the bolded made me laugh. My WI roots are showing. Over 50? Today we went for a walk/bike ride because it's the warmest it's going to be for the forseeable future. I *think* it was 20 (that's F) when we went.

 

I agree with the sentiment of just getting him active though, even if that means you have to join in. FWIW, our oldest, who is 5, is the type who won't be active if he is alone. But if I join in, he won't stop moving...and his behavior is better overall.

[sassenach]

I've made my ds do everything he's ever loved. He's a sporty, active kid, but anxiety builds a wall that that I have often needed to push him over. Swimming- made him. Baseball- made him. Water Polo- years of talking him into it and jumping the moment he agreed (he was older and past the age that I could actually make him do it). The good news is that he loves it once he does it, so the "making him" part is really just the first few days or weeks.

 

I cannot say if it would be an appropriate thing for your kid, but I just wanted to throw it out there that it's not out of the question to just sign a kid up for something that you are somewhat sure he'll ultimately enjoy. 

Edited January 9, 2016 by Sassenach

[EKS]

Give him a choice between two activities with no activity not being one of the choices. This gives him some control without allowing him to just sit at home.

[gardenmom5]

he can't know nothing would interest him, because he hasn't tried everything. 

 

I did breaks between things, and mixed things up.  dudeling is asd, and that did come into play for him in his tolerance for things.   however, for him, it was as much a "theraputic" activity/exercise as a sport/extracurricular.  so -I've made it a rule he has to do *something*.

 

currently, he's doing piano (which is pretty minimal, and he really likes his teacher.  she's 1dd's bff.)  - and we're doing a brain training program with a SLP.  he quit MA end of summer, and I was willing to let him get away with it for now becasue this program is intense. (and apparently - the type of APD he has can make activities like MA more difficult - which is also why MA can help.)  increasinglly, I've seen him start to do MA moves- recently he even added in the vocalizations.  now, he's mentioned he's "thinking" of going back . . . we're not even a third of the way into this program, but I'd be thrilled if he did. it won't be until we're doing with this . . . 

[pinkmint]

Yeah, I was wondering if I should try to expose him to youth sports meets in person or... I don't know, sit in on someone's piano lessons (we got him a Casio keyboard at his request for his birthday, so piano lessons was one thought) and try to spark some interest. I may try to expose him to some of those anyway just to see how it goes. But yeah, spending time and our very limited money in the hope that it will be good for him even though he actively hates it... that doesn't seem so good an idea, unless I was convinced that is really is for his greater good, but I don't know. 

 

I do like hearing reminders that my son is young (turned 7 two months ago) because sometimes I feel anxious and panicky that he's not involved in enough. A lot of my thinking about this has to do with getting friends for him too. We homeschool, don't do co-op, and live in a poorer area where there's little to no children ever playing outside. He has like one friend right now, from our church. 

[housemouse]

How about trying to expose him to  many new things and then see where it goes. Around here libraries are a wonder. We have free monthly yoga, karate, math club, chess club, art club, science club, lego club, dance (once a month local dance studio does 45 min lesson on different style dancing). If you check around, there are free karate/tae Kwando lessons/PE lessons for homeschoolers. It may take a bit of trying and driving around for you to find things in your area but it is worth it.

 

Another thing- it is quite possible your child may not be into sports in general to begin with and pushing it does nothing. None of my kids are into sports- they are my math/science/lego/art/chess kids. We do not do anything that requires massive commitment from us so no year long classes outside of home. I know that and I do not push for sports. Find a park day with other local homeschoolers- meet and have kids run about and hang together playing, exploring, creating friendships. You can push (if you want to) for classes outside of home later as kids are older at find an interest.

 

[J-rap]

At that age, my kids had no idea what sports they might like.  (I know some kids do at that age, but not mine.)  In fact, at that age my son hated the sport that he ended up loving!  (swimming)  When they were that young, we mostly just exposed them to physical activity here and there, and often did things as a family.  We went on bike rides, hiked neat nature paths, went camping, cross-country skied, went ice skating.  Eventually they got into their own groove with physical activity, but not until 7th or 8th grade (and for a couple of mine, not until after high school!)  So, I wouldn't worry about pushing sports yet.  Just getting into the habit of physical activity at that age and having fun with it is what we concentrated on.

 

Of course, I understand your saying that your son just has excess energy.  Can you have a gym class where he follows a routine of exercises (maybe a fun obstacle course in your backyard?)?  Even signing him up for something that isn't a physical activity through a community ed program would expose him to other activities, and he'd hear what other kids his age are doing which might peak his interest.  

[regentrude]

I see no need for a 7 year old to participate in organized activities or classes. I would not push.

 

My introverted DS hated any group activities when he was younger. He did not do an organized sport until he was 13 or 14, and now he loves it, trains six days a week, and has a large circle of friends. It had to come from himself, not be imposed upon him.

 

My kids always got plenty of physical exercise without organized sports.

Edited January 10, 2016 by regentrude

[Gentlemommy]

My five year old sometimes says she doesn't want to go to gym also. When she goes, she is full of smiles and giggles the entire time, and I know her teacher quite well. I can hear and see it's a positive environment for her. I simply tell her *I* need her to go to gym class to burn off her energy. 😜

[myfunnybunch]

I've made my ds do everything he's ever loved. He's a sporty, active kid, but anxiety builds a wall that that I have often needed to push him over. Swimming- made him. Baseball- made him. Water Polo- years of talking him into it and jumping the moment he agreed (he was older and past the age that I could actually make him do it). The good news is that he loves it once he does it, so the "making him" part is really just the first few days or weeks.

 

I cannot say if it would be an appropriate thing for your kid, but I just wanted to throw it out there that it's not out of the question to just sign a kid up for something that you are somewhat sure he'll ultimately enjoy. 

 

This describes my son also. It's quite a balancing act, the line between honoring how he feels and not pushing him too hard (in which case the anxiety rears its ugly head), and pushing hard enough that he can start new things without letting the anxiety limit him.

 

In our house, some kind of physical activity is a part of school, and is therefore mandatory. But it doesn't have to be an organized team activity. IMO, it would be helpful to first find out: Is he not sure what he's interested in, and having trouble picturing doing an unfamiliar activity? Or is he actively resistant to the idea of trying an organized physical activity? Those are two different problems. One can be solved by trying a variety of activities; the other by trying activities which are about individual progress and development, like martial arts, dance, or gymnastics, or by scheduling non-organized physical activity, like a daily walk, swimming, hiking, biking.

 

He also might enjoy something that taps into his creativity and allows for some movement, like theater. :)

[MamaBearTeacher]

Most kids that age would enjoy a gym class: somersaults, trampolines, mats, balances beams. Find one that focuses on fun. Or, maybe a sports class where they do a different sport each class. I would choose something focused on fun and learning rather than something serious or competitive. Sometimes children answer "nothing" when they don't know what to say but don't want to admit it or if they feel a bit anxious or negative. And children change their minds easily. And he is very young. At that age he needs direction. He has not had a lot of life experience and you know a new experience could be very positive for him.

[Wheres Toto]

We require the kids to do some form of physical activity.  We encourage them to try new things and if they want to quit something, they need to replace it with something else.  We have a very small house (no room for a trampoline inside or any form of exercise equipment) and my son is very sensitive to heat and cold so we're pretty limited to structured inside activities, and keep to park days and hiking for outdoors so we can pick when we do them.

 

Neither of them are remotely into team sports (although they tried t-ball and soccer when very young) but they are currently doing swimming and Tai Kwon Do.  They've done fencing, archery, ice skating, bowling, and gymnastics in the past.

[Haiku]

If his surplus energy is causing him to act in negative ways, I would require a physical activity. Call it PE. Say it's part of school. And make him go. Little kids have no understanding of the idea that physical activity has multi-faceted benefits.

[catz]

I think it is totally ok as a parent and especially as a parent of a homeschooled child to say "this is ph-Ed. Pick from these activites and we are going to commit 3-6 months to trying it out. I have high energy kids and I'm pretty sure we would not homeschooled for the long haul without theses activities.

[Soror]

I totally agree with requiring physical activity, if he isn't already active. I don't see that being active requires an organized sport, my parents strongly "encouraged" me to do various sports but the only options were things I hated(and I was a pretty active kid on my own- climbing trees, monkey bar pro and not bad at racing). I found it so completely torturous(I'm still not the least bit interested in team sports) but I do various activities now because I want to do them and I can pick what I want to do, not because I think I should. I'm looking to create kids that are active for a lifetime so I don't want them to see "official" sports and such as the only option, we do things as a family because it is good for all of us, (nearly) daily we got for a walk/bike after breakfast(I just bought the kids new gloves today for the cold snap coming- unless it is really nasty we can make it out at least for a bit), fun family activities often revolve around something physical like canoeing, hiking, and rock climbing. I have a pull-up bar around that I use and they love and TRX straps that everyone gets great enjoyment from, not to mention doing various exercises together. I say for big people as well as little people there are so many ways to be active, no sense in doing something you hate.

Edited January 10, 2016 by soror

[BarbecueMom]

My high energy, creative "engineer" kid can run and jump and play all day, but if he hasn't had a creative outlet for whatever idea is in his head (due to low supplies or rules banning tape on every surface of the house) or is in need of close, individual attention, he will still act out and seem "wired". His brother is much more straight forward in regards to physical activity and pent-up energy.

 

If regular playing and walks/hikes and playground time don't seem to get the wiggles out or trigger an interest in an activity, maybe try something like the Lowe's or Home Depot or craft store workshops (if you have those nearby). It's free and might spark something down the line.

[Farrar]

I would say no - finances are tight, don't bother, he's really young... except that I remember the other thread. I recall thinking when I read that one that you really needed to do something to get this child out of the house and moving - definitely physically but also maybe with creative outlets too. It doesn't have to be organized sports or classes... but it sounded like that might be the thing needed to get it happening and that without that it might not really happen.

[wintermom]

If you don't already do physical activities together as a family, then I'd start right away. The important thing is to promote fitness for life-long health, not necessarily participate in an organized sport. Research shows that children who participate in physical activities early in their lives, continue into adulthood. So you want to plant the seed to good health now. Also, parents who are active with their children become more healthy themselves, and motivate their children to be active. The new catchphrase is "Sitting is the new smoking," so try to build in movement in your daily lives. 

 

There are many inexpensive activities to do, and many suggestions have already been made. Here are the things we love doing - the equipment for these activities is almost always purchased used, so they don't have to be high-end or fancy:

 

- cycling

- hiking/walking/running

- playing running games (tag, hide and seek, capture the flag, etc.)

- in-line skating/skateboarding/scootering

- parkour or free running 

- ice skating

- street hockey

- swimming (all my dc are required to take lessons for their own personal safety)

- backyard soccer/baseball/badminton/basketball scrimmages

- mini-tramp or trampoline (friends were giving theirs away)

- snowshoeing

- skiing

- tennis (on free public courts)

 

[eternallytired]

Also consider if he's an introvert or extrovert.  My introverted 7 yo has no desire to be on a team sport because there are simply too many people for his liking.  (Though he did try two seasons of soccer--of which he enjoyed the post-game snack the most.)  On the other hand, he loves swimming, jogging, and riding his bike (got him a bike speedometer which really made him obsessed).  He recently salvaged some wood from a fence someone had taken down, and he spent several hours happily hammering and sawing away today.  He pours himself into playing his guitar.  He is obsessed with Prodigy.  He spends hours creating towns or entire continents out of wooden train tracks/Duplos/Legos/wooden blocks.  He can get engrossed in Snap Circuits or K'nex Education kits.

 

Any day it's not thunderstorming, we all walk/bike/jog the .75 miles Grandma's house (and back home again later).  I also encourage the kids to play outside for as much of the day as possible.  I think the fresh air, sunshine, and exercise are wonderful for everyone, but especially for growing bodies.  For him, though, organized sports aren't needed, just energy outlets on his own and lots to engage his creative mind.

[Anne in CA]

I have always had to make my introvert kids go to activities and lessons and they are mostly glad they have gone. But it was always a fight to get them out the door the first time. My dd really did not want piano lessons and I can still see her eyes shining when she was done with her first lesson. She loved it.

 

I would see if he would do Cub Scouts next year because it is such a wide variety of activities that you try out it would help you see why to insist he try farther. My ds would never ever have wrestled if it had not been for Boy Scouts and it was a fabulous experience for him.

[lovinmyboys]

I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand, I really try not to force little kids to do things that are unnecessary. On the other, I agree that he may not really know if he will like it unless he tries it. Sometimes kids need to be given a nudge.

 

If it were me, I would probably choose two things that I could afford financially and time wise. I would also pick something that lasts about 4-8 weeks, so you don't have too much invested if it isn't a good fit. Then I would tell him to pick one.

 

I don't, however, think you need to do it immediately. Wait until you have a good option. In the meantime, try to schedule in time for him to get exercise and be creative most days.

[mathnerd]

My friend's kid (also 7 years old) goes into full blown meltdown (tears, red face etc) when she enrolls him in sports classes and tries to send him inside the venue. He has anxiety about meeting new people, not being able to perform to their expectations etc. She ends up sitting inside for a few sessions and in the end, he seems to get comfortable and likes the sport. But, for the first few times, he absolutely refuses for every single sport. So, I would persuade him to go and try some form of sport with a stipulation that after 3 months, if he still did not like it, he could renegotiate with you for a new sport.

[Guest]

I wouldn't push sports. I have one athletic son who loves that stuff and another who is like me.

 

There are other ways to get physical exercise, like bicycling, walking, running, or just doing exercises because exercising is good for your body and makes you feel good.

 

Chasing friends/siblings around in a circle and giggling works too.

 

When he gets a bit older, he'll learn how to say things like, "What about those niners, huh?" that are socially acceptable and pretty static. I know I'd get killed if I wore a Dodgers hat in public, but I don't need to remember whether the Dodgers are football or baseball so I don't.

 

I can get ds8 a ton of used curricula and "educational toys" like snapcircuits for what I spent on a single half hour ballet class for dd28 when I was young and insecure and even more peer dependent* than she was.

 

Just saying...

 

* http://vftonline.org/KEVIN4VFT/MooreKidz.htm

Edited January 10, 2016 by Guest

[Lanny]

I would not push.  I would encourage, possibly at 6 month intervals. I would encourage swimming and bicycle riding.

[lmrich]

Do you have an indoor pool nearby? Swimming or playing in the pool always wore my active kids out. 

[pinkmint]

I just remembered that he did show interest in rollerskating recently after attending a friend's birthday party at a rink. The rink does offer very cheap lessons once a week and is noncommittal. My only concern is the songs they were playing during the child's party had words like "dat ass", and the place in general was not classy, let's just say that. But I might try the children's lessons one week and see if they hold off on the explicit music. At least I can be there with him to explain whatever unsavory things he is exposed to.

[StephanieZ]

At 7, you just need to find things you think would be health and appropriate, and sign him up. Start small, ideally with something that has a fairly modest commitment of time and money. 

 

 

7 year olds don't know what is out there. Just find something he can try. Many programs/activities welcome visitors for one or two meetings/classes/etc to gauge if it is a good fit. Get going and find him some stuff!! 

 

 

 

[StephanieZ]

ps. My 3 kids have always been quite involved in numerous activities. I'm an introvert. Those outings and arranging and hassles slay me. Nonetheless, when I committed to having kids, and especially when I committed to homeschooling, I accepted that I have to push myself to keep my kids healthy and involved in the world. 

 

Over a year ago, when my son was just turned FIFTEEN, I had to nudge/cajole/encourage him to join Robotics. I'd researched it, and I'd decided it would be a good fit for him. At that age, I wouldn't have FORCED him, but I sure would (and did) nudge strongly. It took a few months for him to settle in, really nearly all the school year before he really felt at home, but now it's a central part of his social and extracurricular world, it's been 100% positive, and I am SO GLAD I got him into it. Now he's self-driven (and, woohoo, drives himself, lol), but I had to get it going. Honestly, I feel like it's my duty to help them find their niches as long as they need and benefit from my assistance. He'd always been involved in various sports, scouts, music, etc, but he was ready for a new peer group, and, thus, I found it and made it happen. That's part of the mom-job, especially if we keep them out of regular schools where their social world is much easier to figure out.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I haven't read all the responses...the bolded made me laugh. My WI roots are showing. Over 50? Today we went for a walk/bike ride because it's the warmest it's going to be for the forseeable future. I *think* it was 20 (that's F) when we went.

 

Lol well I grew up in the south and some people can't hack 50 ;) where I live now is colder and our family often takes evening walks in the dark and 30° temps. I agree the right clothes are important to get outside year round.

[Amy in NH]

Yeah, that wouldn't fly here. My kids are required to do at least one gross motor activity and one music or fine arts activity. I offer choices. If they don't pick then I do.

 

I think it is my responsibility to expose them to as many different experiences as I can so that they can find the thing that is a good fit for them and begin to specialize. It develops many good skills, and builds the foundations for a future career or healthy adult hobby. How can they know whether they like something if they've never tried it? And how can they know what "their thing" is unless they try a number of different things? My kids have started trying different activities when they were much younger than 7, and we've seen those efforts bear some wonderful fruit!

Edited January 11, 2016 by Amy in NH

[Momofeat]

If I think my son would like something, I make him try it. Otherwise, he'd never do anything new--and he would miss doing things he loves!

 

Example: He NEEDS to exercise a couple of hours every day, and that's hard to do here in the winter time, unless I take out 1/2 a day to take him places. There is no swimming pool, skating rink, etc. anywhere close by. We live in a very rural area. Finally, I found a basketball league that practices in a school only 5 minutes away! I signed him up. He cried about it, but I held my ground. After the very first practice, he thanked me for making him go. He loves it. :-) If he hadn't loved it after a season, I would have let him quit, but how would he know whether or not he liked it if he never tried it?

[SKL]

I would give him a choice between the ones you consider feasible, and tell him that if he doesn't choose, you will choose for him.  I think that at his age, you get to choose how much physical activity he needs, and also what skills you consider required "life skills" (for me, these are swimming and martial arts).

 

Alternatively, you could choose to schedule family hikes or swims or whatever you all can manage.

 

When my kids were that age, I didn't ask their permission; I signed them up.  I took into account their preferences, but they had to be doing something physical most days.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I wouldn't force it, but I might offer an incentive for him to give it a try.  It can be as simple as try this for a month and if you don't like it you don't have to continue.  Or literally if you give this an honest try you get x whatever.  I've done that.  One of mine was very hesitant to try stuff.  Often when he would he'd end up liking it.  Although not in the realm of sports.  Both of my kids absolutely hate sports.  Although one of mine is really enjoying the gymnastics class he is in now.  I tried gymnastics a couple of years ago and he didn't like it, but I don't think it was gymnastics exactly that he did not like.  He didn't like the class or the instructor.  It was a mixed boy/girl class with mostly girls.  Girls can often seem to stand and wait patiently (speaking on average), but he could not stand that.  So he spent a lot of time waiting and standing.  Fast forward to now and he is in an all boy class with an amazingly energetic male instructor.  He works those kids hard and they love it.  There is no standing around and waiting.  Once in awhile they do some stuff that requires a bit of turn taking (walking on the high beam, for example) so he has very clever ways of making sure they aren't doing much waiting.  Stuff like giving them each a stuffed animal and telling them to do this or that in line with the stuffed animal.

But then take my other kid.  He hates any of that. 

[kroe1]

From age 2, I have always made my kiddos do a sport and some form of music. I had a lack of extra-curricular activities growing up, so I wanted better for my own kiddos. The benefits to my kiddos far outweigh the inconvenience and expense. Therefore, if my kiddo did not know exactly what to pick, I would pick it for him.

[fairfarmhand]

Yeah, I was wondering if I should try to expose him to youth sports meets in person or... I don't know, sit in on someone's piano lessons (we got him a Casio keyboard at his request for his birthday, so piano lessons was one thought) and try to spark some interest. I may try to expose him to some of those anyway just to see how it goes. But yeah, spending time and our very limited money in the hope that it will be good for him even though he actively hates it... that doesn't seem so good an idea, unless I was convinced that is really is for his greater good, but I don't know. 

 

I do like hearing reminders that my son is young (turned 7 two months ago) because sometimes I feel anxious and panicky that he's not involved in enough. A lot of my thinking about this has to do with getting friends for him too. We homeschool, don't do co-op, and live in a poorer area where there's little to no children ever playing outside. He has like one friend right now, from our church. 

 

As far as the lower income, I'd consider scouts and 4H. They are a dream for families on tight budgets.

 

Have you explained to him about how some people have lots of energy for life which is great. However, sometimes, they get energetic and they don't know what to do with it, so sometimes it comes out in doing not so nice stuff like pestering others and being naughty. You as a mom can see that he has lots of energy and you want to give him positive ways to use it so he won't be tempted to use all that energy in a bad way. It's not nice to bother or hurt people when you're feeling energetic, and you want him to be a nice boy, with healthy outlets for it.

[pinkmint]

I can see both sides of it -- pushing vs not pushing. I do agree that a 7 year old cannot possibly know everything that's good for him or whether he'll like something that he hasn't tried. 

 

Part of what is hard is having a toddler to drag to and fro, honestly. Well that and my 5 year old too. I guess just that I have all 3 small children under my care, and doing some class, practice or lesson for one will often mean having the other 2 there possibly doing nothing but waiting for it to be over (not fun for any of us except the one in the activity). DH spends about half the year working late nights and weekend overtime so I'm a solo parent during those times for the most part.