Pamela H in Texas Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Sooooo, I hesitated putting this here because, though y'all have been sooooo supportive of me in our journey, I don't post very often anymore. But.... Thursday was ideally going to be the adoption day for our perfectly wonderful baby Wyatt (generally known as Squishy). HOWEVER, a few weeks ago, a family member from another state stepped forward during the 90days after the termination of parental rights, a time set aside for certain family members to come forward. They had never contacted the department any other time during the case. They never called the department back after leaving that initial voicemail. After 3 weeks, the department finally called them back. At that time, they were told of Squishy's medical and developmental issues, that he has been with us since he left the hospital, and that we were legally able to (and would!) fight for him. They were also told we would be open to ongoing communication post-adoption. They said they would discuss it. They haven't call back yet. Of course, we will fight. CPS, CASA, lawyer, and I already have a game plan. And it is very possible that won't be necessary (that the family will either be unable or unwilling to do what is required or will otherwise be disqualified). But for now, our lives stay on hold <sigh>. If we lose him, the SOONEST they could take him is February. We have never had a ICPC go that fast, but supposedly most could be done that fast. So he'll be 19months old. Obviously, we have given him the very best start he could possibly have so he will be as equipped as he could be to handle that trauma. How wrong to do to this little guy though. But these people contacted CPS less than a month before our intended adoption date! Anyway, as many of y'all know, we lost our "Sweet Little Monkey" in February 2013 to fictive kin in another state, her fifth home, something no toddler should be expected to endure. She was later diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. The family has since stopped responding to my emails (I still send them things I think of here and there as I'm strong enough to do so). Losing her forever changed my husband and me. The wrongful loss of a child who is being harmed by being ripped away from her family for no good reason is greater than anything you can imagine.Please don't let this happen again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: and supportive thoughts and prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: I hope it all works out quickly. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Hugs and prayers that this all works out so Squishy can stay with you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: I'm praying for you guys. I can't believe they would put a toddler through that and expect not to damage them. Or not care... :( 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I am so, so sorry. I will pray for peace for you all, and a bright future for Squishy in your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No More Perfect Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Oh, my heart aches for you and Squishy. I will honestly pray. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. :grouphug: I am in awe of the strength, wisdom, and heart you have to go through this again when the old wounds are still fresh. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I am praying that Squishy gets to stay with the family that so obviously loves and wants him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I know your pain. We had that with our girls. A relative in AR came forward and had never met the kids. It took DHS TWO very long years to sort through that mess. We knew that it was very unlikely that they would get custody but it delayed our adoption 2 years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I am so sorry, Pamela. This is very wrong; the system is so broken. Praying that Wyatt remains with you! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrn Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Hugs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I'm so sorry, and I pray that everything is resolved quickly and that Wyatt will be able to remain with you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okra Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I'm so very sorry. Hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and that precious child. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 My heart just broke. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Alley 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Praying that this is resolved quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I am so sorry that you are going through this. (((Hugs))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinsomeCreek Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Prayers for you and your huge heart. Squishy is lucky to have you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Sooooo, I hesitated putting this here because, though y'all have been sooooo supportive of me in our journey, I don't post very often anymore. But.... Thursday was ideally going to be the adoption day for our perfectly wonderful baby Wyatt (generally known as Squishy). HOWEVER, a few weeks ago, a family member from another state stepped forward during the 90days after the termination of parental rights, a time set aside for certain family members to come forward. They had never contacted the department any other time during the case. They never called the department back after leaving that initial voicemail. After 3 weeks, the department finally called them back. At that time, they were told of Squishy's medical and developmental issues, that he has been with us since he left the hospital, and that we were legally able to (and would!) fight for him. They were also told we would be open to ongoing communication post-adoption. They said they would discuss it. They haven't call back yet. Of course, we will fight. CPS, CASA, lawyer, and I already have a game plan. And it is very possible that won't be necessary (that the family will either be unable or unwilling to do what is required or will otherwise be disqualified). But for now, our lives stay on hold <sigh>. If we lose him, the SOONEST they could take him is February. We have never had a ICPC go that fast, but supposedly most could be done that fast. So he'll be 19months old. Obviously, we have given him the very best start he could possibly have so he will be as equipped as he could be to handle that trauma. How wrong to do to this little guy though. But these people contacted CPS less than a month before our intended adoption date! Anyway, as many of y'all know, we lost our "Sweet Little Monkey" in February 2013 to fictive kin in another state, her fifth home, something no toddler should be expected to endure. She was later diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. The family has since stopped responding to my emails (I still send them things I think of here and there as I'm strong enough to do so). Losing her forever changed my husband and me. The wrongful loss of a child who is being harmed by being ripped away from her family for no good reason is greater than anything you can imagine. Please don't let this happen again. Pamela, I remember the posts about the other child. Will pray this is not going to happen this time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: Will be thinking of you, Pamela! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbi in Texas Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Praying- I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Just said a prayer for y'all and will continue to do so. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted August 22, 2015 Author Share Posted August 22, 2015 I really appreciate y'all's support. Obviously we've said goodbye to many children. It always hurts, of course. But most of the time it is expected. This is a shock :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I'm so sorry for all the adoption stress. This is why my husband pretty much refuses to even try a domestic adoption. It is just so difficult and long and to spend all the time and energy to lose a child right before the deadline would be horrific. So he just refuses to even begin the process. Ugh. I'm praying little Wyatt stays with you with no more drama and that the relatives drop the issue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stratford Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 My heart goes out to you Pamela. I remember when Monkey was pulled from your family and it breaks my heart. I pray that does not happen again. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gisel_le Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Hugs to you, dear mama. My husband and I lost our almost adopted, foster kids due to the same reason. It changed our lives and we never fostered again. I will pray everything works out for y'all and that Squishy gets to stay with y'all, who obviously love him very much and are his family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Lets pray it was one of those moments and the family will think about what's really best for your little guy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RioSamba Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 I prayed for Wyatt to stay with you, for your family's peace, and for angels to surround Monkey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Hugs to you. Stay strong, and keep that game plan in mind. Our DD had extended family that popped up two weeks before finalization. It was excruciating. Having a game plan kept me sane. Will be thinking of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Oh my goodness, I remember your loss. Praying for your family! :grouphug: Please keep us updated so we can pray as things progress. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 I'm so sorry. I hope everything works out quickly and stress free. I agree that the system is broken. It's broken in both directions. We had a family member who lost a child to the system and four of us offered to take her. Sadly, the system wanted her with someone on their side and that is where she went. Obviously this isn't your situation, but the system is so broken that it breaks my heart. Four years later, that sweet child is with a caring, but unrelated family, when the child could be with loving, and financially capable, relatives. (As an adopted person, I don't make that statement lightly.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Sending good thoughts and hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoseInABook Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 (((Pamela))) Foster care is so heart shredding. I'm praying he gets to stay with you. My heart breaks with every good-bye we have too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 To all the foster parents. Thank you for doing this. Some of us just aren't able. I applaud your strength and courage. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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