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BIG UPDATE in Post #86


Pamela H in Texas
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Sooooo, I hesitated putting this here because, though y'all have been sooooo supportive of me in our journey, I don't post very often anymore.

 

But....

 

Thursday was ideally going to be the adoption day for our perfectly wonderful baby Wyatt (generally known as Squishy). 

 

HOWEVER, a few weeks ago, a family member from another state stepped forward during the 90days after the termination of parental rights, a time set aside for certain family members to come forward. They had never contacted the department any other time during the case. They never called the department back after leaving that initial voicemail. After 3 weeks, the department finally called them back.  At that time, they were told of Squishy's medical and developmental issues, that he has been with us since he left the hospital, and that we were legally able to (and would!) fight for him. They were also told we would be open to ongoing communication post-adoption. They said they would discuss it.  They haven't call back yet.  

 

Of course, we will fight.  CPS, CASA, lawyer, and I already have a game plan.  And it is very possible that won't be necessary (that the family will either be unable or unwilling to do what is required or will otherwise be disqualified).  But for now, our lives stay on hold <sigh>.

 

If we lose him, the SOONEST they could take him is February.  We have never had a ICPC go that fast, but supposedly most could be done that fast.  So he'll be 19months old.  Obviously, we have given him the very best start he could possibly have so he will be as equipped as he could be to handle that trauma.  How wrong to do to this little guy though.

 

But these people contacted CPS less than a month before our intended adoption date! 

 

Anyway, as many of y'all know, we lost our "Sweet Little Monkey" in February 2013 to fictive kin in another state, her fifth home, something no toddler should be expected to endure.  She was later diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder.  The family has since stopped responding to my emails (I still send them things I think of here and there as I'm strong enough to do so).  Losing her forever changed my husband and me.  The wrongful loss of a child who is being harmed by being ripped away from her family for no good reason is greater than anything you can imagine.

Please don't let this happen again.

 

 

 

 

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I know your pain.  We had that with our girls.  A relative in AR came forward and had never met the kids.  It took DHS TWO very long years to sort through that mess.  We knew that it was very unlikely that they would get custody but it delayed our adoption 2 years.

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Sooooo, I hesitated putting this here because, though y'all have been sooooo supportive of me in our journey, I don't post very often anymore.

 

But....

 

Thursday was ideally going to be the adoption day for our perfectly wonderful baby Wyatt (generally known as Squishy). 

 

HOWEVER, a few weeks ago, a family member from another state stepped forward during the 90days after the termination of parental rights, a time set aside for certain family members to come forward. They had never contacted the department any other time during the case. They never called the department back after leaving that initial voicemail. After 3 weeks, the department finally called them back.  At that time, they were told of Squishy's medical and developmental issues, that he has been with us since he left the hospital, and that we were legally able to (and would!) fight for him. They were also told we would be open to ongoing communication post-adoption. They said they would discuss it.  They haven't call back yet.  

 

Of course, we will fight.  CPS, CASA, lawyer, and I already have a game plan.  And it is very possible that won't be necessary (that the family will either be unable or unwilling to do what is required or will otherwise be disqualified).  But for now, our lives stay on hold <sigh>.

 

If we lose him, the SOONEST they could take him is February.  We have never had a ICPC go that fast, but supposedly most could be done that fast.  So he'll be 19months old.  Obviously, we have given him the very best start he could possibly have so he will be as equipped as he could be to handle that trauma.  How wrong to do to this little guy though.

 

But these people contacted CPS less than a month before our intended adoption date! 

 

Anyway, as many of y'all know, we lost our "Sweet Little Monkey" in February 2013 to fictive kin in another state, her fifth home, something no toddler should be expected to endure.  She was later diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder.  The family has since stopped responding to my emails (I still send them things I think of here and there as I'm strong enough to do so).  Losing her forever changed my husband and me.  The wrongful loss of a child who is being harmed by being ripped away from her family for no good reason is greater than anything you can imagine.

 

Please don't let this happen again.

 

Pamela, I remember the posts about the other child. Will pray this is not going to happen this time.

 

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I'm so sorry for all the adoption stress. This is why my husband pretty much refuses to even try a domestic adoption. It is just so difficult and long and to spend all the time and energy to lose a child right before the deadline would be horrific. So he just refuses to even begin the process. Ugh.

 

I'm praying little Wyatt stays with you with no more drama and that the relatives drop the issue!

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Hugs to you, dear mama. My husband and I lost our almost adopted, foster kids due to the same reason. It changed our lives and we never fostered again. I will pray everything works out for y'all and that Squishy gets to stay with y'all, who obviously love him very much and are his family.

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I'm so sorry. I hope everything works out quickly and stress free.

 

I agree that the system is broken. It's broken in both directions. We had a family member who lost a child to the system and four of us offered to take her. Sadly, the system wanted her with someone on their side and that is where she went. Obviously this isn't your situation, but the system is so broken that it breaks my heart. Four years later, that sweet child is with a caring, but unrelated family, when the child could be with loving, and financially capable, relatives. (As an adopted person, I don't make that statement lightly.)

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