CC: I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

[JumpyTheFrog]

Tonight my husband told me he is no longer a Christian. I feel like my world is falling apart.

[Aiden]

I'm so sorry. I have a friend who has gone, and is going, through a similar experience. I have no words of advice other than to pray, then pray some more, for wisdom and peace. I will be praying for you, your husband, and your children.

[Cammie]

I'm very sorry you are feeling so terrible. 

[Isabella]

I'm so sorry.  You must be in so much pain.....When it's your whole world, it's terribly hard when a loved one departs from the faith. Hugs :grouphug:

[Mama Geek]

I am so sorry, pray and stay faithful to Christ.   :grouphug:

[Shamzanne]

I'm very sorry for your situation. It is devastating. The same thing happened in my family when I was a child. I pray that you will be able to communicate with each other (and the children, if appropriate) clearly and openly. And that you will find some good solutions to the practical issues that arise in these circumstances.

[nevergiveup]

Is he the same man otherwise?

 

[Melissa in Australia]

((HUGS))

[Rachel]

I'm sorry, praying for you.

[Ewe Mama]

:grouphug:

[Tess in the Burbs]

Love him.  Pray for him.  React in love and not anger.  ((HUGS))

[Tiramisu]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[marbel]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[wintermom]

I appreciate the honesty and openness, rather than pretending. That shows great love and openness. We all have our own journey in this life, and our religious journey can take many turns. This is certainly not the end of the journey, rather a new bend in the road.

[*Lulu*]

I appreciate the honesty and openness, rather than pretending. That shows great love and openness. We all have our own journey in this life, and our religious journey can take many turns. This is certainly not the end of the journey, rather a new bend in the road.

Yes.

 

If I am remembering correctly, you were part of a more fundamental evangelical church and left. When we moved away from fundamentalist Christianity the pendulum swung very wide for awhile. It was like I needed to get as far away from where we had been before I could get back to figuring out where I really stood. I was the the same person, I was just figuring out how to articulate what had been at my core all along.

 

I believe God is big enough to handle our seasons of disbelief and questioning.

 

((Hugs)) and prayers.

[Starr]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: 

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[PrincessMommy]

I'm so sorry.  You must be in so much pain.....When it's your whole world, it's terribly hard when a loved one departs from the faith. Hugs :grouphug:

 

this.  So hard.  Praying for you. 

[Kathryn]

:grouphug:

[Rivka]

Wishing you comfort and peace.

[Chris in VA]

I'll be in prayer for both of you.

 

Remember God is close to the brokenhearted.

[OneStepAtATime]

Is it possible for the two of you to go to counseling to try and help both of you get through this change?

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Annie Anne]

Would it help to recall that an unbelieving husband is sanctified by his believing wife? 1 Cor 7:14

[Mom-ninja.]

That must be hard for you. My mother in-law believes that her son is going to hell. It must be hard to live with that grief.

[milovany]

The Lord bless you and keep you.  The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.  The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.  Hugs to you. 

[Hikin' Mama]

Hugs and prayers for you.

[happi duck]

(Hugs)

[J-rap]

Faith is a journey of a lifetime, and it will hold seasons of great belief, and seasons of doubt.  It will swing further for some.  Remember the man you married and his heart, and -- assuming he is the same person otherwise, keep loving him.  Be careful of your approach.  Instead of fighting him on it (not literally), perhaps together, you can search the questions he has and what caused him to come to the conclusion he is at right now.  He probably has some real legitimate questions.  Sometimes periods of great doubt are a time to wipe the slate clean and start over again.  It might lead you both to an even stronger, purer faith, without the issues that were bogging him down in the first place.

 

God is still there for him just as much as before, and can handle our periods of doubt and questioning.

[Carol in Cal.]

I would be devastated.  May this be only a season, and a short one.

[Cinder]

:grouphug:

[unsinkable]

:grouphug:

 

So many people wrote so eloquently, so I'll just add my prayers.

[Cricket]

((Hugs)) praying

[Anne in CA]

I am so sorry. My own dh tried to be an unbeliever, but it didn't work for him, and he came back around, but with a new depth of faith and understanding that changed who he was for the better. He had things to work out, and they had to be worked out in HIS time, and not mine. But we had some very painful years while he worked things out, for sure. 

[TCB]

I am so sorry. I have something sort of similar going on and it is very, very hard. It is so difficult to have something in which you were united taken away. I recently found the verse Chris mentioned and it is very precious to me.

 

Psalm 34 : 18  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those who are crushed in spirit

 

I will be praying for you. 

 

 

[NicAnn]

Praying for your family.

 

I believe a loss of faith, or at least a questioning, is something we all go through and I think it's a healthy process. Your husband may very well come through this journey renewed and embrace God again. Just support and encourage him, and continue to grow in your own faith.

[applethyme]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[DawnM]

:grouphug:

[Ipsey]

I'm so sorry for your pain. I hope you and your husband will come through this with peace and comfort and greater love for one another, in spite of the shock.   :grouphug:

 

 

[Catwoman]

I'm sorry you're so upset, but please remember that he is the same man he was yesterday, and the day before that, and the years before that. He's still the same father to your children that he always was.

 

As long as he hasn't changed as a husband and father, this doesn't have to mean there will be any changes in your day to day life. Many couples have different beliefs, and everything works out fine.

 

I can understand your shock, though, if this seemed to come out of the blue. Thankfully, he was honest with you.

 

I do think the worst thing you can do is to try to pressure him to believe what you believe. It may only serve to push him away. I hope you will try to accept what he's going through and try to be supportive of him, whatever he believes.

 

:grouphug:

[HRAAB]

I'm sorry for what you're going through and understand how hard it is.  I hope you can also understand how hard it must be for your dh.  I was your dh, and I can tell you the hardest thing is not to be fully honest and open with the your spouse.  Taking that huge step and totally trusting in his love for me was terrifying but not being honest with him was unbearable and detrimental to our marriage.  Please try to be patient with him, and patient with yourself.  I understand that when you marry someone who shares your beliefs, and then at some point one of them turns away from those beliefs, it can feel like betrayal.  Love is stronger, though, and can win.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[SoCalLynn]

I have added my prayers for you, too. My good friend is also going through the same thing, and it is heartbreaking.

[sbgrace]

I'm sorry. I happened to read something yesterday on a blog. It kind of talks about the possibility of a pendulum swing that some on this thread have referenced as a possibility.

 

The fear of being left with nothing leaves many people desperately afraid to question anything, which might be a good definition of fundamentalism.....I haven't followed Ryan Bell's blog as closely as I wish I could, but I check in when I can and I was impressed by this remark he made in passing recently: "For Christians, generally speaking, faith is the virtue that makes them impervious to new evidence." I think that's an accurate - and tragic - statement, generally speaking. But I especially agreed with what Ryan said next: "But none of us have anything to fear from the truth. And even when fear is an appropriate response, I would rather confront a fearful truth than be comforted by a lie."....

The question, I think, is this: what happens after one peels away the onion and faces the possibility that there is nothing left? Will any concept of meaning, purpose, value, direction, and value come back? As my friend Steve McIntosh asked me earlier this year, "Can we get God back at a higher level?".....

 

Some forms of atheism, like some forms of religion, are also parking lots or warehouses. They mark the end of questioning, search, wondering, imagining, hoping, dreaming, opening. But I trust that for many, atheism is more like taking off of a suit of clothes that no longer fits. It is scary to be naked …Whatever God is, God must not be smaller than our questions! So for me, one of the meanings of the resurrection is that just after you think God has died, a surprise is in store.

 

 

I appreciate your husband's intellectual honesty. Sometimes letting go of beliefs really does finally result in a deeper, truer, and I think more accurate faith in the end than one could have had without the release. Sometimes it is, instead, a parking lot as referenced. Either way, this was probably hard for him, and I know it's heartbreaking for you. In terms of eternal perspective, I want to say that I really believe God appreciates honestly and sincerity your husband is showing too. Praying he keeps his eyes open to truth and love, and that you find comfort.

:grouphug:

Many prayers.

[73349]

May peace be with your family.

[KatherineNaomi]

This scripture may be of some comfort to you...“Be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect.†(1 Peter 3:1, 2)

[MercyA]

I am so sorry.  Praying for you and for your husband.  

[Andani]

This scripture may be of some comfort to you...“Be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect.†(1 Peter 3:1, 2)

 

This is right. Keep believing God to guide you through this trial. Prayers for your Family: comfort, peace, and strategy as you walk close with Jesus.

[Heather in Neverland]

I am so sorry. This would devastate me as well.

[MyLittleWonders]

I did this with my dh. In our case, he left very shortly thereafter. It was a long road we walked, but it has brought us both to a much deeper faith and a place neither of us would have imagined possible back then. The morning I told him was probably the hardest thing I had to do. I was so scared of his reaction and the potential fall-out. We had starts and stops, and some stumbles along the way, but like our faith, our marriage is better now than it was back then as well. Prayers for you both as you navigate this new chapter. Respond with love as much as you are able.

 

ETA: just to clarify. Dh left his faith shortly after I left mine (we were evangelical Protestants). Not that he left me. I just retread that and realized it could totally be read wrong.

[kbutton]

:grouphug:

[freeindeed]

:grouphug: