I lost the baby, now what?

[Eagle]

So very, very sorry :grouphug:

[LMV]

I'm sorry for your loss.  

 

To answer your practical question:

-Are you Rh+?  (If you are Rh- then it would be recommended that you receive Rh Immunoglobulin (Rhogam) to prevent possible Rh sensitization and potential problems with subsequent pregnancies.)

-Heavy bleeding, prolonged/persistent bleeding, fever, chills, or increasing/severe pain are all reasons to seek more urgent/emergent care after a miscarriage.

-If none of the above is present then it is accepted practice to allow time (usually a few weeks) for everything to pass completely so it is reasonable to wait until after this period for follow up.  Waiting longer if you are asymptomatic and Rh- does carry some risk because there is some risk of retained products even without significant symptoms (placenta accreta can sometimes present this way).  If you truly delivered the entire placenta (as you state above) then this is not very likely (although sometimes it isn't completely clear that the entire placenta wasn't delivered).  

-Ultimately you will need to decide if the risk you are taking with somewhat delayed follow up is acceptable to you.  I hope everything works out whatever you decide.

 

*None of the above is offered as, or intended to be taken as, medical advice.*

[Mommy22alyns]

I just want to send you huge hugs.  I can't even imagine how hard that was and still is.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Scarlett]

I am sorry for your loss.

 

I would probably go for an office visit. If all is clear it won't cost too much....if all is not ok, money can't matter..

[mom2scouts]

I have miscarried at home.  As long as you don't have very heavy bleeding, severe pain, fever, or any other sign of infection or retained placenta, you'll probably be OK waiting.  ((hugs))

[mommymilkies]

Absolutely no judgement for me and poo on anyone who would be judgemental about this.  You know the symptoms to watch for.  It's totally ok to hang in there and wait it out without the signs of danger (fever, hemorrhage, change in discharge, etc.).  I wouldn't have told the in-laws, either.  :grouphug:

[ashfern]

:grouphug:  My first two miscarriages were spontaneous and I did not go to the doctor. I think it would be fine to wait as long as you make sure to go in if you have any complications.

[Joules]

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

I've been there five times. With the first, we found out by US before the miscarriage. I choose to let nature take its course instead of have an immediate D&C. I hemmoraged badly and had to have an emergency D&C. With the others everything went fine on its own and I did the post exam weeks later since my doc was so far away.

 

If you don't have any of the extenuating factors, take care of yourself, and watch closely for the symptoms, I wouldn't worry about waiting a few weeks. Just follow the advice of others and don't be alone, when things go bad, they go bad very fast. (I really can't emphasize the emergency nature of this enough.)

[Audrey]

I'm sorry this is even a question for you right now.  I think it would be okay to wait as long as you don't have any complications.  Please do rest and monitor yourself.  Perhaps have your dh also take a part in helping you monitor yourself.  Sometimes you don't notice certain symptoms, but others will.  Take care and :grouphug:

[SproutMamaK]

(hugs) I'm so sorry. I feel like I should say more than that, that.... but I know there's really nothing more anyone can say that will help. :(

 

My experiences with miscarriages run the gamut. As far as miscarriages go, yours sounds like it went as smoothly as possible, so I don't see any reason why you wouldn't be fine waiting a for more weeks to see a doctor. Be aware that you may have follow up contractions over the next few days, especially if you do things that stress out/tire your body, and there may still be a few smaller clots that will work their way out. If that happens, it's okay and totally normal.

 

I completely feel you on the in-law situation. We don't tell ANYONE (except doctors, obviously) until 18 weeks anymore. It's just an invitation to so many problems.

[Truscifi]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you are having to deal with these extra stressors on top of it. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Chris in VA]

Wanted to add my condolences. I am so very sorry for your loss.

I didn't know you had miscarried when I wrote my post on your giftcard/anniv thread.

Many hugs.

[Mama Geek]

No advice just  :grouphug:

 

[umsami]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

I've had four or five miscarriages.  My OB never had me come in to check on things, as long as I felt things were OK.

 

If you need a more affordable check, try Planned Parenthood or see if there's a local midwifery group that would see you.  When I was pregnant with my last, and we didn't have health insurance, direct entry midwives were the only people who would see me without laying out thousands of dollars in advance.

 

 

[Ailaena]

-Are you Rh+?  (If you are Rh- then it would be recommended that you receive Rh Immunoglobulin (Rhogam) to prevent possible Rh sensitization and potential problems with subsequent pregnancies.)

-Heavy bleeding, prolonged/persistent bleeding, fever, chills, or increasing/severe pain are all reasons to seek more urgent/emergent care after a miscarriage.

 

 

I am so, so sorry that you had to go through this :grouphug:

 

i want to reiterate the Rh- thing and add that generally it takes a couple weeks to stop bleeding (although a doc will be cautious after 4 weeks), after which you should consider taking a (dollar store) pregnancy test to make sure you are no longer pregnant.  It you are still showing pregnant after a few weeks, you may want to consider seeing a dr in case there is retained product, regardless of your Rh status.

 

And again, very heavy bleeding, fever, chills, severe pain should warrant a call to the doctor.

 

Other than that, there really isn't anything a physician can do for you.

[ErinE]

I'm so sorry Charleigh. Please rest as best you can.

[ScoutTN]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

I am so sorry! I will pray for you.

[Catwoman]

I'm so sorry about the baby, Charleigh, and also that you had to go through the pain and anguish basically all alone. :crying:

[marbel]

I am so sorry!  :grouphug: :grouphug:  

[Guest]

I am so very sorry. When I miscarried, it was Thanksgiving and my family did not know just then, either, so I understand.

 

I had health insurance and did see a doctor, but just FYI, I passed it all without intervention and never required further medical assistance. If I were in your shoes, chances are good that I would wait unless troubling symptoms appeared. 

[texasmama]

(((hugs)))  I am so very, very sorry that you had to go through this alone and in such pain with no support.

 

I've never had a miscarriage, so I don't have any good advice.  At the same time, as I read your plan, it sounded reasonable to me. 

 

I also want to say that I have a MIL who is not someone I would share anything with, so I understand that dynamic.  I've regretted everything that has been shared with her because her reactions are never supportive, only hurtful.  I completely understand not wanting to share something so intimate and painful with people you don't trust.

 

More (((hugs))),  mama.

[Susan C.]

Maybe check into your current doctor offering a cash price for one visit. If you are a patient they should accommodate you between insurance just to give you peace of mind.

 

So sorry for your loss and that you had to be alone.

[bettyandbob]

:grouphug:  I'm sorry.

 

[momto10blessings]

So glad someone brought up the rh- thing. Can't believe I forgot that since I'm rh-

[Patches]

I'm sorry for your loss! 

 

[MooCow]

I'm sorry for your loss. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Yes, I'm so sorry.

[Another Lynn]

Charleigh, You are SO strong!  I am so sorry for your loss and the circumstances of it.  You are amazing.  :grouphug:

[StaceyinLA]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[JoJosMom]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the miserable circumstances surrounding it.

 

FWIW, I had two miscarriages; one required medical intervention, the other did not.  If you choose to watch and wait, I agree with what others have said:  Take it easy and watch for signs of trouble.  I also think trying to locate a midwife might be a less costly way to get the opinion of a neutral expert.  I do not mean that unkindly; I just know that, following my losses, my emotions were so raw that my judgment was probably not the best. 

 

Again, my condolences.

[Melissa in Australia]

I am so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

 I miscarried at 12 weeks at home (almost did it at work). I went to the Dr afterwards as I wanted a medical certificate to take a few days off work. all he did was an ultrasound, said I had retained some of the placenta but that it will either be absorbed back into my body or be discharged. I passed it 4 weeks later.

[Amira]

So glad someone brought up the rh- thing. Can't believe I forgot that since I'm rh-

I thought the same thing. I knew I'd always gone to the doctor when I had a miscarriage, but I couldn't remember a good reason why (and after getting so many of those shots, I can't believe i forgot about it). It is important to get a RhoGAM if you need it.

[celticmom]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[strange_girl]

(((Hugs))) Charleigh :(. I'm so sorry for your loss!

[8circles]

I'm so sorry.

[Heather in OK]

:grouphug:  Mama  :grouphug: 

I too am so very sorry you had to go through that alone.  

Speaking as someone who has been through a m/c at home while not under a doctor's care, not speaking in a way giving medical advice...
 

 

 

if I start running a fever, begin having pain again, if bleeding doesn't stop, etc

Exactly.  Someone mentioned if you soak through more than one pad an hour and that is correct.  If you have not passed all of the tissue, you will begin experiencing symptoms.

The only reason I would say you absolutely need to be seen is if you are Rh- because you need Rhogam.  

Otherwise, there really is not a significant reason to be seen.  You could have blood work to have HCG checked but...*shrug*...it's just going to tell you what your body is naturally doing.  

Rest and let yourself mourn and heal.   :grouphug:

[Seasider]

Oh dear, my heart hurts for you.

 

I also miscarried at home at twelve weeks. The follow up was to have my blood drawn once a week until my numbers (HcG and I don't remember if something else?) went down to pre pregnancy levels.

 

My doctor told me to watch for any signs of infection, since any remaining bit of tissue might cause one. So do that. I suggest you take your temperature regularly, at the same time(s), a couple of times each day. That way if a fever creeps up you will catch it early. If you can, in January go in and let them draw blood to check your hormone levels.

 

I just want to reach out and hug you - it was such a sad time for me - it's okay to cry, don't hold back on that. As for your il's not earning the privilege of you sharing the information and experience with them, I also understand that and appreciate the eloquent way you phrased it.

 

You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

[Guest submarines]

I'm so sorry for your loss.   You must be very strong to have handled all of this on your own - preparing for Christmas dinner, in-laws over and you are forced to retreat to the bathroom. 

 

How much would a visit cost?  Way the pros and cons.  But, yes, if you run symptoms then by all means go in.  What does your dh suggest? 

 

No judging here as I bet most of us on the board are faced with difficult people. 

 

(((hug)))

 

The very first line of the post you replied to says "PLEASE don't quote..." :confused1:

[StephanieZ]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a tragic time. You were so brave and strong, and I am so sorry your in-laws were around so that you weren't able to focus solely on yourself with your husband's available support. Oh, dear lady, I am so sad for you. 

 

So far as the medical stuff, I, too, have no good knowledge. My instincts tell me that you are probably fine since you are aware of the warning signs and will seek help if trouble arises. Many women miscarry without even knowing they were pregnant at all, so presumably many/most miscarriages complete without any medical attention. I agree with the idea of seeking a midwife if you want some (lower cost, lower intervention) assurance that all is proceeding naturally in a healthy way. 

 

I hope you are able to recover smoothly. Be gentle with yourself. You have been through so much. And, of course, please do get medical help if you have worrisome symptoms, feel ill, or otherwise need help. (((hugs)))

[joannqn]

Others have covered the reasons you would need to be seen.

I miscarried at home at 14 weeks.  The only thing I would add that I didn't see mentioned is that you should rest just like you would had you carried the baby full term. I found it harder to recover from a late miscarriage than it was to recover from giving birth full term.  It took me a few weeks to feel strong enough to handle my normal day to day activities after my late miscarriage. 

[mysticmomma]

I think waiting is fine. Sometimes I never went. I'm so sorry.

[mom@shiloh]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and also sorry that you needed to go through that with non-supportive in-laws around.  

 

I had three miscarriages and didn't see a doctor about them.  So, I also think that waiting is fine.

[DawnM]

I will just tell you what happened to me.

 

I miscarried and did see a doctor immediately when I started bleeding and cramping (I had excellent health insurance, so this is not the part I am emphasizing.)  I was told I had miscarried and to go home and rest.  It was about midnight.  I thought she meant rest because it was late.  I should have asked for clarification. She meant rest at home for a while.

 

I went to work the next day, and the next.  The bleeding didn't stop.  I almost passed out a couple of times.  By the time I went back to the doctor on the 3rd day, I was told that I had NOT passed everything and that a D&C was required.  I was also told I should not have gone to work.  :crying:

 

So, listen to your body.  If it doesn't feel right, go in.  Take care of yourself and don't jeopardize any future pregnancies.

[Ann.without.an.e]

Thanks again, y'all. I am not rh- so that isn't a concern. I felt pretty decent Christmas Day and the day after but I felt worse yesterday (more what I expected, no real red flags), so I am trying to lay low. Sitting still is not a gift I have so this is challenging ;)

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

:grouphug:  I am so very sorry for your loss.

[Ann.without.an.e]

I also want to say that I am so sorry for all of the loss mentioned in the comments. So sad :(

[stripe]

Do you have access to any kind of urgent care facility that caters to people without insurance? Do you have a Planned Parenthood nearby? These would be more affordable options. I think it would be better to see someone to be sure everything is out you don't get an infection.

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Chocolate Rose]

I also had 2 home miscarriages with no medical intervention. I don't want to give you medical advice, but it is definitely doable to wait to see a doctor. I didn't see a doctor until the 3rd pregnancy. Be sure to go in if you have any issues.

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

[MAIMOM]

HUGS to you. I am so sorry for your loss.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

as long as there is no unusually heavy bleeding or as you said bleeding that doesn't stop or signs of infection (fever,etc) I think it would be ok to wait-also agree with the poster that mentioned seeing if there are any midwives in the area that you could talk to over the phone....so sorry for your loss :grouphug:

[Guest]

I have no experience, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.