Raising a teen in the times of Covid

[mommyoffive]

Argh.  I was all set for the  normal teen years.  Dating, driving, high school, jobs....   Covid complicates everything just a bit.

So if you have a teen or tween how are you navigating these times? 

Is your child going to in-person school? 

Is your child working an in-person job? 

Doing in-person activities? 

How is your child getting social time with other teens right now?  

How are you navigating this time?  What hurdles have you/are you facing? 

[Terabith]

Both of my teens are vaccinated.  We did some college visits in June.  I'm really glad we didn't wait on those.  My youngest (age 16) is playing D&D at the library in person this summer (masked) and going to in person social gatherings with 3 or 4 friends (all vaccinated) on Sundays.  She doesn't mask on Sundays with them.  

Both teens will go to in person school.  Oldest's school I am confident in:  they require everyone to be vaccinated; everyone will wear masks, all eating is done outdoors; there are only 80 people in the school, including all adults.  Youngest will go to a regular public school that will require masks, but I am still pretty anxious about that.  

[hshibley]

13 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

Argh.  I was all set for the  normal teen years.  Dating, driving, high school, jobs....   Covid complicates everything just a bit.

So if you have a teen or tween how are you navigating these times? 

Is your child going to in-person school? Yes his school has a mask mandate 

Is your child working an in-person job? Yes masked

Doing in-person activities? Yes XC

How is your child getting social time with other teens right now?  In person- his friends were reasonably covid cautious last year and online playing multiplayer games 

How are you navigating this time?  What hurdles have you/are you facing? 

Ds is fully vaccinated so that makes a huge difference. We don’t see our elderly relatives often since they are out of state. The only unvaccinated person in our family is our 9yo. I’d like to keep her covid free until there’s a vaccine for her age group but I need to balance that with what’s best for everyone in the family. 

[MEmama]

Covid affected DS’s junior (end of) and senior (entire) years and now it will affect his (hopefully just) first year of university.

He decided to school remotely beginning March 2020 and throughout his entire senior year. This past year was awful. I’ve never been more worried about him, it was a very dark time and I can only hope he has actually recovered.

Sports are his primary social outlet, and of course those were disrupted. Seasons were abbreviated, camps didn’t happen and tournaments were cancelled. He was able to run all except one season, though, when he opted to not participate in indoor track. Adding to the disappointment was an under layer of stress because he had a goal of running in university and had times he wanted to work toward, which couldn’t happen in shortened seasons. (He ended up a top recruit at one of his top schools anyway, and will be running at the uni he is going to. In the moment though, not hitting the benchmarks he wanted was yet one more disappointment for him).

He did not work last summer; instead he took a university math course online for fun. This summer he is working as a lifeguard at an outdoor pond—very little actual contact with unvaxxed little kids. It’s been a terrific job in all the ways and his outlook is much improved. He knows all the other lifeguards from school and they regularly have swim parties. Someone has a beach house and they’ve had bonfires on the beach and hang out til late. Truly it’s exactly what he needs this summer after such a tough, lonely year.

The biggest hurdle was getting him through senior year. I don’t want to get into details but everything about it was hard for him. He missed his friends and the rigor of “real” classes (he knew most of his teachers and loves them all—he knew how exciting and challenging the classes would have been in a normal year compared to what they ended up out of necessity). He’s a normally motivated kid and yet he was barely able to function most days. It was a tough call for us—he really didn’t want to go in person and face the risk of Covid, but staying home was terrible for his mental health. Idk if he did the right thing or not, but he got through with high honors so I guess it worked out. I’m not eager to replay any of it in my mind, though. 
 

Idk what university brings. I am beyond glad that he didn’t let Covid delay his goal of studying overseas. While it adds another layer to the unknown, it would have been devastating to decide to miss out on this opportunity.

Edited August 6, 2021 by MEmama

[kirstenhill]

I'd say things are pretty much back to "normal" for my vaccinated teen DD too - Job, in-person school, socializing with friends, etc.   We have quite high vax% locally and until this week extremely case low numbers.  Masking at her job is required and I'm guessing by the time school starts masking will be required at school too (just "highly recommended" right now).  Second-oldest teen will also start in person school in the fall.

We only have 1 too-young-to-be-vaccinated kid -- And TBH when our whole family had COVID last fall, DS9's case was so, so, so mild (fever and fatigue for 24 hrs, and that was it, but he tested positive) that we aren't necessarily concerned in the situation where one of us potentially manages to spread it to him again.  I know that one super mild case is not a guarantee it will be mild again, but it doesn't seem like he has any unknown reasons that it would be terribly severe if he got it again. 

Edited August 6, 2021 by kirstenhill

[bolt.]

I just got off the phone from hiring a therapist for my teen daughter. So. Not really doing that well (neither of us).

She's fully vaccinated, going to in person school (when it starts in Sept) and probably also going to any activities that resume at that time. Not working. She goes out sometimes to visit friends either outdoors or in their homes (if vaccinated). She uses public transit (masked).

[TheReader]

We began prioritizing mental health over physical health/alongside physical health pretty early on in this. Our oldest was coming out of a (for depression/anxiethy) hospitalization/out patient situation right as Covid started, and that really changed our perspective on a lot of things. 

 

So, the "kids" (23, 20, 16 now) took some time off from their in-person D&D group, but only a few months (March to about June/July I guess), and then resumed with their select group. It was 2 other sibling groups, they were also being really careful in their day to day stuff, we measured seats out 6 feet apart, went to individually packaged snacks/drinks, put out wipes, hand sanitizer, designated a guest only bathroom, etc, etc, etc, and let them get back to meeting in person because they all really needed it and were in low risk categories/families. 

Then we were all able to get vaccinated, which was wonderful. We had our 16 yr old volunteer at a vaccine distribution place, because it was going to be a while (we thought) before he'd be in an eligible category (and a near-ish county that opened to all was not issuing Pfizer).....although it was less than a month later that it became open to everyone, anyway. But still, we got vaccinated as soon as we legally/legitimately could. 

After that, we started back to church in person, and started back to fencing class in person. The fencing club is following CDC guidelines on masks, so for a while had "if you show proof of vaccine, you can fence w/o a Covid face mask" and then with Delta and the rise in our county, just went back to "sorry, masks back on for everyone." (before that, they had a "stuck fencer's night" for only vaccinated members, but then so much of the club was vaccinated, that became really crowded and also not so necessary). So we feel comfortable keeping that, even now. 

We're still keeping the D&D group. 

The kids are doing a mix of in person and virtual classes -- the 2 college kids are doing some of each, the 16 yr old takes in person co-op classes, but it's only once/week. I haven't heard yet if his teacher(s) will require masks in their rooms or not (I've still not heard if our co-op is going to require masks this year.....). 

He attends youth group in person as well; the youth pastor is good at following CDC guidelines, too, although he's not gone back to required masks yet, but I suspect he might (he only dropped that requirement roughly 2 months after kids could start getting vaccinated). 

We are back to masking, by choice, in crowded indoor settings, and DS goes along with it w/o complaint, because it's that or lock down again, and we've just decided that for us, since we do have the protection of the vaccine and the masks, the risk for the kids' mental health is far greater than their risk of Covid at this point. And after what we went through with our oldest.....we will do whatever it takes to protect them from that. 

[Arcadia]

DS16 and DS15 are kind of “antisocial” so shelter in place has not impacted them as much.

My husband and I only started tutoring when we finished high school. We didn’t start working until after college graduation if internships are not counted.

My kids do have their tennis lessons which continued during shelter in place. Their private German class went online and the board members are waiting for confirmation from the landlords (school district) on whether they could have in person class as they rent the classrooms in an elementary public school.

Their Fall dual enrollment classes are all online because the classes they want to take only have online options. 
 

The only “hurdle” we face is that we wanted our teens to try doing some volunteer work but they are already introverted and they are happy to stay home even pre-Covid. They aren’t comfortable with doing online volunteering work like being an online tutor. My husband is working from home until at least January as the delta variant keeps pushing his employer’s return to office deadline. My teens has said since they were young that they want to work from home in the future.

[Dmmetler]

L (16) Is going to a residential LAC that requires vaccination and masks in public areas, including classes, in a community that has an indoor mask mandate. The school is also doing weekly pooled testing (and individual testing if needed) through at least October. We've seen vaccinated friends this summer pretty normally, and recently spent a long weekend with BFF and family in a rented lake house, which was a lot of fun. L's part time job is teaching online anyway, so that didn't change except that last year classes filled quickly, and that will continue into fall.  I am hopeful that L can have a relatively normal social situation on campus, once we get there, but I'm a little worried about having to drive 6 hours for move in, although we have rented a house vs a hotel and can do instacart/Uber eats, etc. 

 

M(15) and C(12) are going to in person school, and I'm worried about them. M has been working this summer at the pool and C has been doing swim team, which obviously cannot be masked. School will be masked, as of today when the health department mandated it in K-12 schools and child care programs/preschools, but neither is vaccinated yet, although both would like to be. I do think that being in school is likely to be good for them socially. M is going to a very large high school, C to a K-8, but both will be changing classes, so LOTS of exposure. 

Edited August 6, 2021 by Dmmetler

[rebcoola]

They did a lot online last year.  Middle even did a full Shakespeare production using zoom/video. 

Since they are vaccinated they are doing more in person though still masked.  Both are going to school in person in the fall. Oldest is starting BM high school  masks and 3 ft distancing required.   Middle will go one day a week to the hybrid school same rules.   

Both are doing Civil air patrol in person it's a small and they are masking inside.

Middle will do her improv troupe the kids theatre has been super cautious . I don't have their protocols for fall yet but I'm sure they  will be strict. 

Oldest has done her horseback riding lessons since last June since it's small, outdoors, masked.

[Ditto]

We are working on figuring things out given the increase in cases and new info that seems to be coming regularly as more is learned about the Delta variant.   Everyone in our home is vaccinated, thank goodness.   Teen and I double mask everywhere we go.  She is excellent with masking and fully understands the need, so that is good.   

I homeschool her so nothing changes there.   She had thought about dual enrollment but changed her mind when Covid hit and is still good with that decision.

Driver's Ed was postponed a year due to Covid, but she finished it successfully and is now just waiting for her appointment for her learner's permit.   

Church is still planning to have youth group in person (services are both online and in person).   I am a youth counselor and plan to meet with the youth director next week to help plan the year, at that time I am going to talk to her about whether that is still the plan or will it be switched to online once it is too dark to have it outside.   So, youth group, well,  we will double mask, but plan to continue with it.    I would like to attend services in person this fall.  They do have a mask mandate for everyone over 2 years old and other precautions they are taking for in person services so I *think* I am comfortable attending in person.

She does have a job and that will continue.   It is not working with the public and she double masks while at work.  Luckily we are both introverts and feel that more than ever after the last 1 1/2 years of Covid.   

Without fail Covid has made the older teen years more difficult.  I try to not get ahead of myself with thinking too far ahead.

Edit:  I forgot, she does have one outside class.  The instructor for that class has taken extreme care in making her classes and the environment as safe as possible.  Last year my teen did the class online, but she plans to attend in person at this point.  The instructor did let me know that masks will be mandatory given the increase in virus numbers.  I am a bit nervous (it is a very small room) but trust the instructor so we will crash forward with in person at this point.

Edited August 6, 2021 by Ditto

[mlktwins]

My boys, just turned 16, are both vaccinated.  We were really locked down from March 2020 until end of May 2021 - we were caring for 3 elderly parents.

They will continue to homeschool.  Their in-person, local classes were moved to on-line in March 2020 and we continued that through May 2021.  They are supposed to return to local in-person classes this year.  I'm not sure what the masking requirements will be, there currently aren't any where they will be going, but my boys will be wearing mask - without hassle.  

They both participated in their summer swim league, but that ended last weekend.  We are staying close to home now until school starts.  They are also re-starting their year round swim team in September.  I'm nervous, but I'm worried for them if they don't.

The libraries were closed so all their volunteer hours have been virtual.  They would be going back in September in-person, but our branch is starting renovations and will be closed for about 6 months.  Maybe in the spring they can get back to in-person.

Their social time this summer with with their swim friends.  They also went to a couple of movies.  That is not happening this fall while we see what happens.

They will both be practicing their behind the wheel and it will take a while to get all their hours in.  They are excited about that though.

Social time with teens will just be in classes, swim practice, and via text until we see what happens with Delta.  They are ok with all of it as long as they can continue swimming.

They are taking their first SAT in August.  If those test get cancelled again, at least they will know where they need to focus their study time.

 

 

[Sneezyone]

Both of mine are immunized. We have been doing as many college tours as we can this summer in case things really get bad again locally. Oldest has a job as a lifeguard (outdoor pools) and her coworkers/friends are vaccinated too. Both of my kids will attend in person in the fall but I expect masks will be required. I am hoping outdoor sports like cross country and track can continue for vaccinated students. DD took the SAT in June and will do the ACT this fall too. If shit hits the fan, she’ll at least have a score to fall back on, although she’s not applying for highly selective schools or seeking merit aid.

Edited August 6, 2021 by Sneezyone

[prairiewindmomma]

My three teens are doing in person classes. Oldest is also working. Everyone is masked.

There’s very little social happening on our end—no one else wants to mask and that’s the baseline precaution here.
 

 

[AmandaVT]

We left our coop because they were the "covid is just a cold" type and didn't take any precautions even after it was mandated by the state. He's enrolled full time in WTMA for the upcoming school year - we may dip a toe into extracurriculars or a class or two at the local high school for 9th, but this year will be online. He plays tennis, which was social distanced before it was "cool", and has been able to keep taking lessons except for 2 months in the spring of 2020. He's very comfortable with his own company and doesn't need a ton of social interaction. I am a bit concerned - his closest friend is unvaccinated. I felt more ok about it earlier in the summer, but for now, I'll make sure they stick to video chat and video game hang outs instead of in person.

[gardenmom5]

I have an autistic teen who is likely comorbid for pathological demand avoidance.

He loves not having to go anywhere.

 

(he started consistently eloping -he figured out he could - from his spec. needs in person program through the school district spring of 2019.)  He prefers online life . . . (which still didn't work too well, but as he made clear - he won't go anywhere in person . . . ).  The program he's supposed to start in Sept seems to only be in person (it's a good 30 minutes each way, and I don't even know who is supposed to provide transportation).  I will probably be looking for an online program that will meet his needs - and pay out of pocket.

 

[Soror]

My teens are vaccinated and when it is required to mask, they mask. We had to decide last summer for all the precautions or their mental health because we couldn't have both. We had enough repercussions from last spring and summer. It isn't ideal but there is no ideal. If we lived in a more Covid aware area it would be different but we don't. Dd was telling me how people were making comments about how the shot is going to kill her. 

*I'm not saying that mental health issues are a given for COVID precuations but they were here for our older ones. It wasn't too big of a deal for the younger 2 but it is a different ball game for the older kids. 

 

[Ilera25]

Wow! I wish I could say things are back to normal for us, but they are not even close. 

My high schooler is fully vaccinated as are my husband and I. My middle schooler had an allergic reaction to his first Pfizer dose and is currently not recommended to receive a second dose. I also have a elementary schooler who isn't eligible for the vaccine yet. We wear masks whenever we go out and try to be selective about what activities we participate in. It's not easy though because practically no one here wears masks, and hasn't since mid-May, even kids. My state's vaccination rate is not quite 41%.

I wasn't too worried until the Delta variant started spreading like wildfire in my community. Our case numbers are back to what they were in February and our percent positive is nearly 20%. I was going to let my high schooler go to in-person school this fall, but my state has a law preventing public schools from mandating masks. The mayor of my city is currently fighting to at least allow mask mandates in elementary schools. The president of the state college, who is an epidemiologist, tried to mandate masks (because state law clearly prohibits vaccine mandates), but the state attorney general said that violated state law. It actually feels like it did last August. I'm terrified what will happen when 10,000 college students descend on the city, students return to school unmasked and flu season hits. 

I want things to be normal. I want all of us to be fully vaccinated. I at least want to live in a state where people are taking precautions and we could go out and feel reasonably safe. A week ago one of my husband's bands got together for the first time in 18-months. A few days later the drummer, who is fully vaccinated, contacted them to so say he'd tested positive for Covid19. I'd made my husband wear a mask to practice, and thankfully his Covid19 test came back negative.

How is my high schooler doing? I'd say she's handling things as bet she can. She asked to be withdrawn from the local high school. She's  planning our holidays like she did last year and wants to order some art supplies to keep her busy. Her best friends actually moved during the pandemic, so she's used to keeping up with them virtually. At this point, I don't know what activities to participate in. Maybe homeschool student council? I'd be surprised if anyone there was masked though and she feels awkward being the only one who is. Once the weather and mosquitoes aren't so bad, we'll at least try to find some outdoor activities to take part in. 

Last year it felt easier to navigate the pandemic. I was scared only for me (because I'm in a high-risk category). The Delta variant is indeed a game changer. I'm concerned for everyone, including those of us who are vaccinated. There are too many break-through cases in my community; too many people are unvaccinated, unmasked and acting like the pandemic is over. It's a perfect breeding ground for virus variants. 

Anyone else in a state where the Delta variant is raging out of control? I'd love some advice on what you're doing to get your tween/high schoolers though this. What activities do you participate in?

[melmichigan]

I have four teens, and we are back on "lockdown" for the most part because of my medical treatment.  Sadly, that means that all three that take classes at the local CC are online because they have 0 precautions being taken.  (That was a very hard decision for one teen in particular.) The oldest two are seeing therapists to help deal with covid.  Outdoor masked is all that is available to them, and sadly most of the teens friends are either on lockdown themselves with health issues, or are on the other end of the spectrum.  We have very low local vaccine rates and no local precautions unless you find the few businesses that are requiring masks and such to enter.

My third teen does a great job interacting online with various chat options and such, playing games, watching movies, and otherwise interacting with classmates, but he's always taken online classes and has a good cohort of kids that have stuck together socially.  My youngest is very introvert and I'm looking for something for him, outside of online classes, to help him interact more.  Sadly, my kids have gotten used to adults commenting on their "face diaper" or something degrading almost every time they go out.

Edited August 6, 2021 by melmichigan

[kokotg]

My two who are at home did pretty well last year; they had each other; they had a lot of online stuff, and they had their good friend down the street who they hung out with (outside) a whole lot. The biggest problem was missing out on music, particularly for my oldest. One of his music groups did meet in person; we let him go when they were rehearsing outside before it got cold and then again after he was vaccinated in the spring. This year they're both vaccinated, and they'll be back to most things in person (they're homeschooled, but there's a bunch of music, DE, etc), and we'll hope that vaccines + masks indoors will be enough (masks indoors is a problem for two wind players; I just bought useless-seeming masks with slits in them and bell covers, but it felt sort of silly). We just found out that their D&D group at the library that was supposed to start back up after a year + hiatus is delayed indefinitely, so that's a bummer. They got an online group going last year, and that will likely continue. 

[theelfqueen]

Ds 16 is vaccinated.

He is homeschooled. He has attended/ attends flying, groundschool and forge classes in person and volunteers weekly in a museum, in person. 

The pandemic has, in ways, been really good for him socially- his core friend group, his D&D group, pre-pandemic played once a week together and sometimes talked outside. Now they play online several times a week and talk and hang out online all the time. They all came to our house for 4th of July and I think are planning something for next week. Same to a lesser extent for his robotics team... the online format has given him an in he didnt always have before. 

He works as a lifeguard- so in an outdoor setting. 

[SKL]

My kids have no restrictions on activities due to Covid at the present time.  They need the activities and have never been at serious risk from Covid.  They got vaccinated as soon as possible in order to avoid the stupid quarantine rules.  As it happens, most of their extracurricular activities are outdoors.  But I will allow indoor sports also.

My kids start in-person school in about 2 weeks.  I only hope it doesn't get disrupted this time around.

We stay away from older / at-risk people to the extent reasonably possible.

Social time is an interesting question.  My kids are both introverts and don't gravitate toward crowds for social reasons.  They have a few friends who do extracurriculars with them, but it isn't where their best friends hang out.  Most of their friends attend other schools.  The best friends keep up with each other mostly via their iphones (text, facetime, etc.).  We've had some get-togethers, but they aren't easy to coordinate, and until recently, I would worry for the next 3 weeks about whether any of us had unsymptomatic Covid and spread it.

[crazyforlatin]

There's a difference with my teen from last summer to this summer. I should have taken the risk last summer and let her go back to fencing and coaching kids. No one got Covid at fencing.

We're opposites and didn't realize the impact of having no social life, no group sports (running with dog doesn't count), no church, and pure online school would cause such an impact on an introvert/extrovert person. This year in the spring we took a chance and let her have in-person classes and fencing before she was eligible to be vaxed. I saw improvement immediately, but the year took a toll because she still asked for therapy, so I have to assume she knows her mental state better than anyone else. As an introvert the thought of talking about myself and even looking inward for an hour is a true nightmare. We were both glad I could opt out of therapy with her. She didn’t want me there, and I didn’t want to be there either. And it’s online which means I don’t need to drive. 

She has one friend who comes over 3x  a week for dinners in the backyard. Just the two of them eating and talking without adults around. We started teen therapy in the summer. She has been so busy with camp and now in-person church and looking forward to more in-person classes. We added back boxing which is therapeutic in a way for her. The constant punching and kicking seems to help. 
 

I would be content with another lockdown, but for my teen, I hope it doesn’t happen even if it means I need to step out a few times a day to drive her.

I know people say pets help, but for Dd I’m sad to say it didn’t help much at all. She needed to be in a social setting.

[madteaparty]

Any problems I have as we finish high school have to do with the fact that he’s homeschooled, not Covid. Wish I knew, will do better next time. 

in the depth of pandemic, the only things he had in person were his ski instructor job and band and our regular volunteer gig whose hours bizarrely increased (because food insecurity increased). . His live classes at a local LAC went online and that was a very real bummer. Holding my breath about the same happening this year. We were able to have a normal summer with overseas travel and vacations and internship. 

 

[Wheres Toto]

We are all vaccinated and things are pretty much back to normal.  Normal for an extremely busy summer with some unusual stuff going on, but the only thing Covid really stopped was vacations/camping and the kids really don't care about that.  

Both my younger kids are extreme introverts, have a ton of online friends and gaming activities they do, neither has had a job yet (they are 14 and turning 16 in a couple weeks, jobs for under 16s aren't common around here plus he's on the spectrum).   They have never been in in-person school and my summer camps are younger kids so until my classes start again in September, there are no outside school activities.  

Dd took a break from TKD, went to go back a few weeks ago and ended up getting sick with the weird viral respiratory thing that is not Covid that is going around and couldn't go for another week.  She still hasn't returned but I'm going to push a little this coming week.  

My main concern is lack of exercise.  I think we really need to do something about that but I've been out of the house helping my mother and daughter pack and move, and dealing with my business doing some packing and moving, and running summer camps, so all my plans there have been a total fail. 

[freesia]

We are in a high vac area which has often had low numbers since June 2020(but did have a winter surge.). I am slightly more at risk. Everyone but the youngest is vaccinated. My teens did ok during last year’s shut down—but not as well as I thought. It is definitely time for me not to be very risk adverse and to keep perspective. 

All of my children are homeschooled. Last year we picked and chose activities and prioritized outdoor get togethers. We did few indoor masked activities. 

This year I am allowing more normal indoor socializing. One of mine in particular needs things to feel more normal. He is vaccinated. They are all working and attending church and youth group and TaeKwonDo and getting together for movies or games with a group of friends. They are masking lately bc I’ve asked them to. 

I am making free use of at home Covid tests and my youngest has been tested formally several times so I feel that we are doing our part to minimize spread in a low case area while balancing my kid’s real need to be with peers and have fun. 

If I lived in LA or FL right now, I might make different decisions. Anxiety and depression run in our family. My kids have had major opportunities cancelled and needed me to start saying yes to more things. And I decided the local conditions v actual risk to our family warranted it. 

[Carrie12345]

My 18yo is grating on me right now. I suspect she’s using me as “the bad guy” so that she can have an outlet for blame.

We have several pipelines for potential infection, including dd’s work, volunteering, and her boyfriend. So, when she texts me asking about a large group lunch in a restaurant, I kind of want to scream at her. 
 

After several rough drafts, I finally settled on a simple no, and got an okay in response. 
 

My 10 and 14yos definitely aren’t 100% happy with the current situation, but they’ve been more resilient than I ever could have asked for. Entirely too much video game allowances have helped!

[sassenach]

19 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

Argh.  I was all set for the  normal teen years.  Dating, driving, high school, jobs....   Covid complicates everything just a bit.

So if you have a teen or tween how are you navigating these times? 

Is your child going to in-person school? 

Is your child working an in-person job? 

Doing in-person activities? 

How is your child getting social time with other teens right now?  

How are you navigating this time?  What hurdles have you/are you facing? 

I won't go too much into how we handled things pre-vaccine other than to say that the impact of pre-vaccine covid mitigation was huge and hard. We did end up giving our teens a good amount of freedom despite the risk but not anything close to what we're doing now. The mental health impact has greatly shaped our decisions now. 

We are all vaccinated now and are not restricting the teens at all. Both will be in school full-time (one goes off to college this year). Both worked this and last summer and school year. DD works with kids, so she's around unvaxxed population a good amount. Both have unlimited access to friends- driving places, taking trips, sleepovers. We will participate in any public health measures but at this point, there is a huge gap between how we're willing to live as individuals and what my expectations are of public health restrictions. We are vaccinated with vaccines that I still trust (Pfizer/Moderna). I believe that we are still protected from severe disease and that is good enough for me. I absolutely will not be living my life going forward in some quest to avoid a virus that I'm vaccinated against. And I definitely won't add to the mental health burden by restricting my teens further than what they've already experienced. 

So the real question in my mind is about raising a teen in the times of covid and helping them get through the burden of the impacts in general. They are still being affected, even if I don't add a single restriction onto them. Last year was terrible- the impacts of isolation and having all of your plans disrupted are still a burden on them. DD had 4 SAT tests canceled. She's trying to get into a competitive program and she needs a high SAT score. She only has 2 more stabs at it and those might be canceled, too. They'll be in masks at school, which while I have never been against masks, I still think it has a social impact. Her cheer competitions will be limited. We haven't been able to tour all the schools we would like to because some still aren't doing tours. There's a huge question mark over dd's senior year and whether it'll be like Ds's, which was so sad and emptied of all the senior year things. He barely set foot on the campus, no school events...it sucked (salt in the wound was watching friends in other states, and even other parts of our state, get to experience their senior years with prom and the other normal things). 

So the impact is huge, even if you choose not to add restrictions. My role has been to be a sounding board for those frustrations, and to help problem solve to get them through the parts that I can. There have been many, many tears. This has shaped them. 

[freesia]

34 minutes ago, sassenach said:

I won't go too much into how we handled things pre-vaccine other than to say that the impact of pre-vaccine covid mitigation was huge and hard. We did end up giving our teens a good amount of freedom despite the risk but not anything close to what we're doing now. The mental health impact has greatly shaped our decisions now. 

We are all vaccinated now and are not restricting the teens at all. Both will be in school full-time (one goes off to college this year). Both worked this and last summer and school year. DD works with kids, so she's around unvaxxed population a good amount. Both have unlimited access to friends- driving places, taking trips, sleepovers. We will participate in any public health measures but at this point, there is a huge gap between how we're willing to live as individuals and what my expectations are of public health restrictions. We are vaccinated with vaccines that I still trust (Pfizer/Moderna). I believe that we are still protected from severe disease and that is good enough for me. I absolutely will not be living my life going forward in some quest to avoid a virus that I'm vaccinated against. And I definitely won't add to the mental health burden by restricting my teens further than what they've already experienced. 

So the real question in my mind is about raising a teen in the times of covid and helping them get through the burden of the impacts in general. They are still being affected, even if I don't add a single restriction onto them. Last year was terrible- the impacts of isolation and having all of your plans disrupted are still a burden on them. DD had 4 SAT tests canceled. She's trying to get into a competitive program and she needs a high SAT score. She only has 2 more stabs at it and those might be canceled, too. They'll be in masks at school, which while I have never been against masks, I still think it has a social impact. Her cheer competitions will be limited. We haven't been able to tour all the schools we would like to because some still aren't doing tours. There's a huge question mark over dd's senior year and whether it'll be like Ds's, which was so sad and emptied of all the senior year things. He barely set foot on the campus, no school events...it sucked (salt in the wound was watching friends in other states, and even other parts of our state, get to experience their senior years with prom and the other normal things). 

So the impact is huge, even if you choose not to add restrictions. My role has been to be a sounding board for those frustrations, and to help problem solve to get them through the parts that I can. There have been many, many tears. This has shaped them. 

I am liking this bc I agree completely. I’m sorry for the impact on your dc and all the dc. 

[historically accurate]

I have 3 teens, one of whom is possibly high risk (POTS, which mimics long covid already - we really, really don't want to make it worse). All of them are vaccinated.

 

Oldest: she was away at college this school year. Virtual in her dorm room only. Very lonely, very isolated. She is hoping the college will open up a little this year - at this point, her classes are in person, but a mask mandate was just instituted. No vaccination mandate. Area is high for Covid, but we are not too far behind their level for that matter. I do not restrict her activities, but she's pretty "anti-social" so we didn't really have to this summer. I would've if I had to - I allowed her to go away with a friend for the weekend, but she's pretty socially distanced in the room right now so she didn't have to quarantine or anything. Her job this summer was fully remote. 

Middle: has the heart condition. Also my lone extravert. She did really well with the lockdown last spring & summer until the fall. She was hospitalized for mental health reasons multiple times in the fall. We found a med that works pretty well for POTS late last fall, which actually has caused the biggest improvement in her mental health. Got the vaccination as soon as she was eligible. She resumed volunteering following vaccination at the local kids' museum 1x per week - it's masks required there and they're pretty strict about it. We allow her to hang outside with neighborhood friends. 

Youngest: Wanted to join TKD class again following her vaccination, but for budgetary and covid reasons, we aren't allowing it. Her best friend moved to AZ shortly after covid started, so virtual hanging out has been the norm for them. She has been going to the neighborhood and city pool daily this summer. She has a friend here in our neighborhood she hangs with outside a lot. She might take a couple of one-off classes this coming up year - she wants to learn cake decorating and we have a Wilton school near us. 

I allowed neighborhood kids to play in the house once when it was absolutely pouring this summer, but if they need a break from the heat, they hang out in the garage with the doors open usually.

 

So, we are still fairly restricted, as no one is doing in-person, indoor activities besides 1 volunteer position. But, we'll look pretty different from families with no health issues as we're still not entirely sure how Covid would affect Middle DD. Some people with her condition have sailed right through their infection, some have seen their condition get tons worse. DD's cardiologist says, "POTS usually doesn't make Covid worse, but Covid can make POTS much worse."

We aren't rejoining co-op and activities will be definitely fewer than previous years once we're comfortable with those because we all kind of enjoyed the downtime (not as much downtime as we had, but still some is good). 

ETA: I also really, really, really could not handle having a second teen with POTS, and the other two have medical issues that make us think that it's part of some genetic issue, we're trying to avoid Covid if at all possible while still living life. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by historically accurate

[DawnM]

My teen did online school last year but will be in person this year.     We quarantined when we were told to, but he is out and about now.   And he has a girlfriend.   Pretty sure they are not staying 6 feet apart at all times......😂

[Loowit]

All of my kids are fully vaccinated.

My oldest is no longer a teen, but was when covid started.  She is going away to college in a little over a week and will be living on campus in a dorm.  The college is taking things seriously and requiring vaccines, and DD feels comfortable with the precautions.  All of her speech and debate tournaments at least for the fall are expected to be online.  Classes will be in person, and they are requiring those that have vaccine exemptions to be masked.  DD will also be working on campus.  She has done most of her socializing online with friends, but has done a few outdoor meet-ups with friends.  I think at college with the majority of people vaccinating, she will be more comfortable socializing in person.

Middle is our biggest connection to the outside world.  He is working full time, but it is an outdoor job with a small team.  The biggest chance they take is not masking during their drives to the job site which is about 3 hours round trip, but everyone has been vaccinated.  If they weren't vaccinated they would have to be masked.  Going to work is about the only time he goes anywhere.  He had his eagle ceremony about two weeks before the big shutdown, and then scout meetings were online until he aged out.  He is working on enlisting in the military, but due to some childhood medical conditions has a number of specialists to confirm that he is fine for military service.  Once that is out of the way (hopefully successfully) he will be doing the delayed entry program for the Marines for a few months before heading off the boot camp.

Youngest is having a lot of problems with the lock down.  He doesn't mind being at home, but he has anxiety.  He has dropped scouts, of his own volition, because he doesn't feel like it is safe to go to the meetings.  He was fine meeting online, but they wanted to do in person and most of them are not taking precautions.  He was so close to eagle scout but gave it up because of the unsafe behavior of the troop.  He will hardly go anywhere.  He does go with me to grocery pick-up and will go on hikes where there aren't a lot of people.  He will be homeschooling, but that was what we were going to do anyway.  All of my kids have graduated from homeschool.  I have tried to get him to visit with family when they come over.  All of them are vaccinated, but DS still has trouble feeling safe.  I am working on addressing his anxiety.

[Bootsie]

DS was in college--so just beyond teen years--but was living at home.  From March-Summer 2020 all of his college classes were online.  For the fall and spring semesters he had a mix of online and in-person classes.  He was working at the beginning of the pandemic--things closed down--then the employer opened again onliy to go out of business a few weeks later.  After a couple of months he got another job--until that employer went out of business several months later. (Psychology it was very difficult for him to apply for unemployment twice within a year)

We did not put any constraints/limits on DS; many of the places he generally interacted with others just weren't open.  He is very athletic and it was important for him to be able to remain active; he did a lot of cycling and picked up skateboarding, but did go back to his gym when it opened.  We have a gameroom over the garage with a separate half bath--he was able to spend a lot of time there and would have a few friends over.  When we had the deep freee in Texas in February, and we were one of the few houses with heat and electricity, we did have a group of DSs friends stay at our house for several days.  Despite the COVID risk, I could not justify letting them be in the dark, cold and hungry, when we had plenty of space, food, and heat.  

For the most part, DH and I were able to limit contact.  DH is retired and I was teaching remotely prior to vaccinations being available.  So, our greatest exposure has been through DS.  

[Carrie12345]

Update on my 18yo, who came home from her summer camp job today...  Yeah, I’m pretty much the bad guy just because she needs to have one.  She apparently didn’t stay up to date with the news, just the bits and pieces of what I’ve been texting. Which is to be expected, imo. She was (mostly) outdoors, working, having fun, and I’m glad she had a relatively low risk opportunity to do all that. But now it’s all of the updates dumped on her all at once and she’s been transported back to another reality.

I know she isn’t actually mad at me. She even says she’s not mad at me. But the angry eyes still suck. She’s got looks that can kill. I’m just telling myself they don’t suck as bad as hearing no for every plan she was trying to make now that she’s home. Sigh.

[Excelsior! Academy]

On 8/6/2021 at 2:26 PM, mommyoffive said:

Argh.  I was all set for the  normal teen years.  Dating, driving, high school, jobs....   Covid complicates everything just a bit.

So if you have a teen or tween how are you navigating these times? 

Is your child going to in-person school? 

Is your child working an in-person job? 

Doing in-person activities? 

How is your child getting social time with other teens right now?  

How are you navigating this time?  What hurdles have you/are you facing? 

I hear you!

We are just doing what feels safe and cutting back on activities.

Yes.  Last year they were masked or distance learning.  I expect more of the same.

Yes.  Masked.

Yes.  With a small group of people.  So small that we tease we practically quarantined together.

Yes. See above.

As an extrovert I am enjoying fewer commitments.  As a planner, I am tired of plans being thwarted. Our cancelled Christmas trip to visit family in another state.  It *was* our Christmas, and then it wasn't.  

[ScoutTN]

We are trying to do life and be reasonably careful. All vaxed and my teens and Dh had covid in January. We are eliminating unnecessary exposure (using grocery pick-up etc.) and masking indoors. All of our extended family are vaxed and about half have had covid, so we see them routinely.

We go to church, school/homeschool tutorial, Scouts (mostly outside til November), piano lessons, and some social events.

We are prepared to be home and live in Zoom if necessary, for a while. Not lockdown or SIP! We did that and it had significant negative effects. Never again.