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About hshibley

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  1. Dungeons and Dragons. There’s a phone app for the dice. Everything else can be done verbally. Kids play it all the time on my daughter’s Latin club trips.
  2. Why must we constantly make accommodations to make it easier for boys?
  3. I am the only one who can open the dishwasher to see if it’s clean or dirty. My kids are apparently incapable. The can bring the dishes over to the counter but not open the door. My husband travels a lot I told him that if I die in my sleep while he’s away the kids may not notice until they run out of dishes. 😂😂
  4. She chose to take the class there’s no way this is the only option. My kids have loads of choices at their colleges to meet humanity requirements. If this is her attitude at the beginning of the class and assuming she’s being as disruptive as described in the op she’s doing a disservice to the rest of the students in the class who are there to exchange ideas and learn from the professor and other students. Going in stating that white males are the most discriminated against group in the US is silly. If she has actual points based on what they are reading and can make them thoughtfully great if she just wants to spout off her unfounded opinions she’s wasting everyone’s time.
  5. I think you’re comparing apples and oranges. If I’m just looking for books to suggest yes I think of what interests my son or daughters. If I’m designing a lit class for my child for the year I’m choosing commonly covered classics which inevitably leans towards male authors. That’s what Garga driving at.
  6. Have you considered leaving your husband out of this equation. He’s working full time and working on his phd. He’s got enough on his plate. You and your son can completely maintain the yard. I have my ds14 and dd6 prep the yard for mowing- remove stick limbs pine cones magnolia pods etc. Then I mow. We’ve done It this way for years. We spend a couple of hours every day working on the yard mowing weeding etc or home maintenance. Your 11 and 4 yo are more than old enough to help. I’ve had years where we couldn’t swing a y membership a cheap backyard pool was a lifesaver. There’s really no reason to involve your husband in this.
  7. I agree with HomeAgain. Even if the 7th grader is super responsible it’s a recipe for disaster. If they live in a neighborhood that is so dangerous that they need ready access to guns to shoot intruders I’d be concerned with the 7th grader accidentally shooting you or someone else in the house at night thinking a strange noise was an intruder. That’s too much responsibility to put on a kid trained or not. I’d say something right away. I would not visit the home again.
  8. Is it realistic to plan on going to a pool that’s an hour away? I know for myself I would not drive that far. That’s a lot of time and gas. Are you allowed to use that pool if you’re not residents of the town?
  9. If there is literally no where to swim where you live then I would not bother with swimming lessons since it’s a financial burden. (Personally I think learning to swim is a life skill, however if you can afford lessons and there are no low cost lessons in your town there’s nothing to be done. ) Maybe your finances will improve in the future and the swim lessons will be feasible. In my experience swim lessons without extra time spent swimming in the pool are a waste of time. The kids need to practice to be any good. If there’s no public pool, ymca, a friend with a pool, beach, river, or pond to swim in there’s no point. It sounds as if your children will never be exposed to a swimming opportunity at this point anyway. I’d also would have my son turn down any invitations to pool parties etc if he was not a solid swimmer.
  10. Do you think the phone and computer are the real issue or just the symptom? With what you described I would consider counseling for your dd. Sometimes they just can’t open up to their parents and need someone else. Also for us school’s not optional here so if someone doesn’t want to homeschool it’s time for brick and mortar school. Edit to add - i just saw your update. Hope you find a solution soon.
  11. Even if the teen has a track record of deceit becoming more and more restrictive is only going to push the teen to find more ways to deceive. You need to address the heart issue which can only be addressed with open conversation.
  12. But if that’s the concern then there should be no phone at anytime. Any of those things can happen during the day at home or accessing free WiFi at the library McDonald’s etc. You have to transition from treating her like a young child to helping her navigate the world as an adult.
  13. After you deal with the cell phone I’d ask myself why does she feel the need to sneak around me? We don’t have rules regarding cell phones in room so I’m not sure your motivation there but at 14 contact with friends and privacy becomes very important. I wouldn’t want to set up an environment where sneaking around like that becomes the solution vs talking to dad or me about more adult privileges.
  14. This has been my experience too. I’ve lived in the south for 20 years. Sure I know some moms who always wear makeup and a look put together at all times. The same with matching outfits, monograming etc but I haven’t found those moms to be judging those who don’t. Those who are judging on those basis are probably not running around in the same circles as me. Also I really don’t spend time thinking/worrying about how others have the money to support the lifestyle they live. My husband and I make the choices we’re comfortable with. Others may have inheritances, boat loads of debt, or other priorities. That’s their business. If we both like knitting, running, or whatever we have in common there’s no reason we can be friends on that basis regardless of economic status.
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