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UPDATE post 118 Help me make hospital and NICU as good as possible


happypamama
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Thank you all. We had a beautiful two days of snuggling our sweet boy. We only put him down a couple of times in order to eat and take care of necessities. I'm so grateful for that time. He spent all of last night comfortably skin to skin with me except for some time with Daddy, until he laid down his fight and went from our arms to those of King Jesus shortly after 5 this morning. Thank you all for your prayers and love.

 

 

I am so so sorry.

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I've been reading along, quietly, since you first posted. Thank you for opening our your life and Nathanial's life up to us so that we could experience the joy and then the heartache you are feeling. I wish we could lessen the pain of his loss, but since we cannot, hopefully it gives you some measure of peace to know that we are here, we care, and we are grieving alongside you. My college-aged DD is studying to be a nurse and hopes to eventually work in the NICU. She was especially touched by your story and has asked many times for updates. She cried with me on the phone when I let her know of his passing. Wishing you peace and healing.

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I've been reading along, quietly, since you first posted. Thank you for opening our your life and Nathanial's life up to us so that we could experience the joy and then the heartache you are feeling. I wish we could lessen the pain of his loss, but since we cannot, hopefully it gives you some measure of peace to know that we are here, we care, and we are grieving alongside you. My college-aged DD is studying to be a nurse and hopes to eventually work in the NICU. She was especially touched by your story and has asked many times for updates. She cried with me on the phone when I let her know of his passing. Wishing you peace and healing.

Oh, how sweet! Our nicu nurses were amazing, beyond anything I could have imagined. What an honor it would be for your daughter to be able to work with families like mine. I hope she is able to fulfill her dream and make such big differences for parents and babies.

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I am so, so sorry for the loss of Nathaniel. What a beautiful, dear baby. I wish I could just make it so that no one would have to know this pain. I'm so thankful you were able to read with him and hold him and love him through to the end.

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I am so glad you were able to say hello.  I am so sorry that you have to say goodbye so soon.  

 

When our daughter died, we were in such a blur of emotions that it was difficult to think of what remembrances we might be able to capture.  

There is bereavement photography done by volunteers: https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

There is jewelry that can be made from a good fingerprint (capture the fingerprint now, make the jewelry later).

Casts can be made of hands and feet if the skin isn't too fragile. https://www.castingkeepsakes.com 

I'm sorry that such things need to exist, but they do, and I thought I'd share if you didn't know about them already.

 

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I am so glad you were able to say hello. I am so sorry that you have to say goodbye so soon.

 

When our daughter died, we were in such a blur of emotions that it was difficult to think of what remembrances we might be able to capture.

There is bereavement photography done by volunteers: https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

There is jewelry that can be made from a good fingerprint (capture the fingerprint now, make the jewelry later).

Casts can be made of hands and feet if the skin isn't too fragile. https://www.castingkeepsakes.com

I'm sorry that such things need to exist, but they do, and I thought I'd share if you didn't know about them already.

Thank you. They did do casts of his hands and feet for us last night, so we should have those soon. They also did multiple copies of his hand and foot prints, and saved a bit of his hair for us. And they had a photographer from a similar, local organization come and do a bunch of pictures this morning too, plus a local friend of mine came and took a bunch of nice pics two nights ago. The hospital loaded us up with keepsakes and remembrance items. Very sweet.

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Thank you for sharing your beautiful boy with us. It was an honor and a joy to pray for him. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[On a purely practical note, because I can't not be a tax attorney, even at a time like this: Because Nathaniel was alive in both 2016 and 2017, you are entitled to take a full dependency deduction for him for *both* years. The hospital probably submitted an application for a social security number after his birth, but if he doesn't have a social security number you can attach a copies of his birth and death certificates to your tax returns. Thank you for letting me feel useful.]

Thank you! We did get a social security number for him, and I did know about taking a tax deduction for both years, but thank you for the heads up.

 

I actually had a phone interview scheduled for this afternoon to get SSI for him. When the guy called, I explained that he had died this morning. This stranger, some older man I've never met, sounded so sorry for my loss. It was touching.

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I cannot say thank you enough to all of you for your love and prayers. Right before everything blew up with DH's injury and the baby and me, DH and I celebrated twenty-five years together. We've been through a lot of stuff in that time, but this is certainly the hardest. We are grateful for how our communities, both IRL and online, have supported us. So many people have told us that Nate's short life impacted them. In John, Jesus tells Nathaniel that he will see greater things. Our little Nathaniel is certainly seeing greater things from his vantage point, but his legacy here is seeing great things as well.

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I hope you are doing okay. I think of you often. I wish I had something inspiring or comforting to say, but I'm pretty tongue tied in this situation, so I will just say (((hugs))) and we will continue to pray for you and your family. You've handled this all with so much grace and dignity. You really have. Take care of yourself mamma. We're here if you need us. 

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