Do you try to keep the amount spent "equal"? (Christmas related)

[AimeeM]

Most of my friends do try to keep it equal. We do NOT even attempt to keep the amount spent equal. I think we do aim to have about the same number of gifts under the tree, though. The biggest difference seems to be that most of my friends have children much closer in age than my three. 

 

I'm curious how The Hive does it. Does age affect what you spend on each child or is there a specific amount you spend on each?

[maize]

I don't give individual gifts beyond stocking stuffers; I don't try to keep those exactly equal but they tend towards similar.

 

In the whole I think big kid stuff trends more expensive than little kids stuff, so a wide age spread would make different amounts reasonable.

[Tenaj]

I just try to make sure there's more or less the same number of gifts under the tree for each child.  We do a lot of "group" gifts so that falls apart sometimes.  Also, when they get older, I pretty much quit worrying about it.

[Bluegoat]

Not on principle, really, but practically, yes.  I try and get them all something they will like, but in the end I have a budget that has to be distributed, and if one got a lot more the others would be rather thin.

 

I guess this year I spend more on dd11 - they all get pjs, at the same price, but ds6 and dd8 each get a toy.  Dd11 is getting a chess book that cost about double what I spent on theirs.  Stockings are about the same, because they tend to have standard things in them.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I try to make the perceived value equalish. 

[Loowit]

Sort of I guess.  I didn't really keep track of what I spent this year and I went a bit overboard, which is totally not like me at all.  I got them things that they wanted/needed and I think overall it ended up being close to the same amount for each but I am a bit scared to look at actual totals.  In past years I had a set budget amount that was the same for each child and stuck to it, but sometimes it meant that one child got one big thing to open and one child got a bunch of little things.  All the kids seemed happy with it.  Stockings I don't worry about money amount as much as they all have about the same number of things, but I don't spend a lot on stockings.

[Annie G]

When kids were little we always opened gifts in turns so we tried to make the number of gifts fairly equal. It was ok for one kid to have one more gift than a sibling but not four more gifts.  And then there is also the issue of how to determine value- when a gift is bought at half off do I count it as the value it usually is or what I paid for it?  The same went for if I needed to mail order something and had to pay shipping- I didn't necessarily count shipping cost against the amount I planned to spend on the kid.  

 

It's easier now that everyone is grown!

[Sherry in OH]

Perceived value yes, absolute cost to me no.  Each child gets the same number of gifts. Each gets at least one item he really wants plus some things dh and I think he would like.   If a child's main gift is more expensive, his secondary gifts might cost less than his brother's secondary gifts.  My children are close in age though.  The main difference is that one wear's men's sizes and the other boys'.  If I bought clothing as gifts, I would of necessity spend more on older son than on the younger for the same quantity.  

[AK_Mom4]

Not at al. Some years, one kid's gift costs more - like the year DD got new skis - and it's no big deal.

 

I make sure everyone gets a couple of presents to open and that's good enough.

[Kassia]

I do try to keep things pretty even  

[J-rap]

Within a general range.

 

 

[HomeAgain]

No.  We try to keep gifts similar, though.  They each get one big gift.  They each get a book/book set.  They each get a Santa gift.  And they each get some smaller things we think they'd enjoy.  If we do a bath set for one kid, we'd do a toiletry set for the other, that sort of thing.

[purpleowl]

Number of gifts is much more important at my kids' current ages. I keep that the same. We never do a big expensive gift, but if we did, we would probably make it one big thing for all the kids or provide equivalent "wow factor" gifts for each of them.

[MomtoCandJ]

Equal number of gifts because my girls are that age :)

[mlktwins]

I only have my twins and I keep it VERY equal!

[BrittanyM]

No. I don't spend as much on my 2 year old as my 7 year old! I do take into account how much I spend but it's a range and not a steadfast rule.

 

 

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[MotherGoose]

I've noticed other people trying to do a set dollar amount on gifts and that results in buying a lot of junk to equal out the dollars. I don't do that. I wish the in laws would just give us cash towards college in lieu of spending a set amount of money f💰 r each kid on junk.

[busymotherof4]

Things are not equal at all in my family but we have a huge spread in ages and needs. My oldest is getting 1 medium gift($25), a stocking and cash ($250) because she is saving for her wedding. The next child down is getting a chrome book, a stocking and 1 gift that is about $20. She is graduating from high school this year so she could use a laptop. The next is getting some clothing, video games and a board game. We spent the least on him. With other relatives he is getting everything on his list. He has few needs or wants. We spend the most on him in normal life. Tons are spent on gymnastics including trips to Las Vegas, Utah and (if he qualifies) Orlando. This will all happen February -May.

The 10 year old is getting an Ozobot, a Pokemon game, some wolf books and a few small things.

The 4 year old we bought too much for but overall spent not too much. I probably will hold a few things and dole them out as needed this winter. Things like new paint, the Paddington books and maybe one of the games I bought. These will help the winter blues come February or March.

Basically everyone's needs were taken care of plus the kids all are getting many of the things they want. The 10,16, and 17 year old will all end up sharing books, video games, board games and movies so they all end up very happy at Christmas.

[Baseball mom]

General ballpark range of equal cost but not always even number of gifts. 

 

[rocassie]

We spend about equal amounts for all three kids but they are only two years apart so 9, 7, 5.  Plus our whole budget for each is about $75.  I am open to changing that as the kids get older and things are more expensive but for now that works for us.  Only when one has been a baby was there a big disparity in how much we spent.  My MIL gives each child a gift and then each gets a check.  The gifts are not equal I'm sure.  I have noticed that she spends quite a bit more on my son then the two girls but at these ages, each is happy with what they receive and the checks are for equal amounts so I don't put up a fuss. 

 

I want gift giving to be equitable but I think that can look different for each family or even each kid.

[gardenmom5]

when they were young - I was pretty consistent at keeping the amount the same.  I did have to point out to one child (who pays attention to those things, when older) that  they had fewer gifts because they cost more.

compare that to another when asked what they wanted . . . . wanted an electric tooth brush.  really?  that's all?  (there's more to that.  the kid doesn't care about "things" at. all.  if they need something - they'll ask.  and know - even it's july, they'll get it.)

 

now, it's gotten pretty rough.

[forty-two]

I keep the number of gifts equal (and wrap accordingly - so dd10 is getting one set of books wrapped together as "one gift" instead of wrapped individually as five gifts), and I keep the cost roughly equal (I budget the same for each kid). But if I can get all their gifts, good ones, without having use all the budget? I celebrate and save the savings ;) (or use the extra to cover going over budget for someone else).

[Um_2_4]

Well, we don't celebrate Christmas obviously, but when it comes time for our Eid and I am buying presents, I have a budget for everything overall. For Eid, they all get 1 new pj, new outfit and shoes to wear on Eid and an "Eid bag" with small gifts/a book and 1 or 2 big gifts depending on the wishlists. When the twins were little, their gifts often cost less, just because baby toys do.

For our next Eid (in summer) I have scored some num noms and shopkins on sale on Amazon for the girls bags already  :laugh: . Those I just hope I remember where I store them.

I'll hit the toy clearance at Target in Jan to put some more away. But now with DS12 wanting more techy stuff, more of the $$ is going towards his presents. I am sure as the others get older I will either have to increase the $$ per Eid (we have 2 a year) or lower their expectations  :lol: .

[Storygirl]

I don't track whether I spend the same amount on each, but it ends up being about the same, because I buy them the same number of gifts. And I buy them each the same kinds of gifts.

 

For example, this year they will get

Pjs (always, every year)

books (always, every year)

a toy or fun item (this year DD14 is getting a gift card plus fuzzy socks, while the others are getting toys)

A sweatshirt for a local sports team (so they have something to wear during "wear a sports team shirt day" at their schools)

an electronic device to replace ones that are old and/or broken

the items in their stockings will be identical

 

The categories change from year to year. The children also buy things for each other, and they get gifts from extended family, so overall they end up with a nice variety of items.

 

When I was growing up, my mom was less organized in her planning. She was a generous gift giver and loved Christmas, but things weren't always equal. She tended to worry that she hadn't bought enough for my brother, compared to what she had purchased for me and my sister, so she ended up buying him more, just in case. So he always ended up with extra gifts, and it was noticeable.

 

Because of my own experience, I try to be very equitable with my children. Everyone ends up happy. :thumbup1:

 

 

[madteaparty]

Nope. Their lives in general are very different because of the age difference and because of when I had him. She has a much better gig for sure, but he gets more $$ gifts.

[katilac]

Perceived value and roughly the same number of gifts (more important when they were younger, but I'm pretty sure 16-yr-old is still counting under her breath, lol). 

 

Definitely not actual dollar value, because sometimes you luck out and find an amazing bargain. 

[fraidycat]

Sort of. Last year DS got a gaming system which was 4x the price of DD's "big" gift. But, her gift (inexpensive smartphone added to our plan) has an ongoing expense that will surpass DS's gift price.

 

This year, they are closer in dollar amount with no additional ongoing expense factored in.

 

They do get the same # of gifts under the tree each year, but some things may be wrapped together to create one gift - one of DD's is a shirt and pants, to be the equivalent gift of one of DS's toys.

[6packofun]

Perceived value and roughly the same number of gifts (more important when they were younger, but I'm pretty sure 16-yr-old is still counting under her breath, lol). 

 

Definitely not actual dollar value, because sometimes you luck out and find an amazing bargain. 

 

This exactly for us.  "Perceived value" is a good way to put it!

[heartlikealion]

No. I don't spend as much on my 2 year old as my 7 year old! I do take into account how much I spend but it's a range and not a steadfast rule.

 

 

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We have a 2yr old and 8yr old. I set up a price range for kids, but we didn't spend the same on each kid. And I can't tell you off the top of my head the number of gifts. We'll be opening gifts at more than one home and it's enough headache trying to think which gifts should be opened where (like the snow cone machine will be opened at the house with the ice maker lol). I have a spreadsheet that is mostly up to date so I can go back and count, but it doesn't matter. Not this year, anyway. Dd doesn't know what's going on.

 

[AndyJoy]

Mine are young (7 & 3) so number is more important than value, though only the 7-year-old might notice. I spent a lot more on DS7 because he's into things like Snap Circuits and Lego, and I think I actually have more individual items for him too. DD3 will be thrilled with her much cheaper ponies, small Duplo sets, and mini princess dolls and nothing else will matter :).

[Night Elf]

I've always had an equal number of gifts under the tree. I've always managed to stay within a budget though.

[QueenCat]

Sort of......... the budget is the same but depending on needs/wants, I might spend a little of kid 1's on kid 2 or vice versa. But it's close and has usually been but I only have two kids and they are close in age. And now, they really aren't kids.

[Alice]

I try to keep the general feel of the gifts equal. That might mean number or amount spent or even excitement value. 

 

The last few years our biggest gift has been a family gift that everyone is excited about. (A trip together, going to a show, etc) 

[ktgrok]

Yes and no. We do have a budget for each kid that is equal, but...

 

I came in under budget (well under budget) for the two littles. And I'm going to be over budget on the teen. And I think that is fine. Teen gifts are just more expensive than gifts for a 4 year old. 

[Georgiana Daniels]

For the youngest two--absolutely! Man...we'd have giant hurt feelings if we didn't. (Only as far as the kids care about the gifts--we sure try hard to de-emphasize, but that doesn't always work.) For our oldest, yes, we sort of do but I think she understands we still need to actually buy stuff for her little sisters.

 

 

For my parents--sort of. Like some of the pp's said, moreso perceived value.

 

Hubby and I, goodness, I never spend as much on him even though I try. I'm just not a spender, but gift giving is his love language. This year I had to make him return something he got me already because it was just too much money and I saw it when I was monitoring our checking account.

 

 

[DawnM]

Depends on needs.

 

Last year we had to get my new to college student a laptop. We combined Christmas and his birthday, but it was still more than the other kids since it was a specific kind of computer ($1000.)

 

This year we will keep it more equal for the most part, although the 12 year old just doesn't need as much as the older teens.

[sassenach]

We keep the number of presents and the grandness equal, but not the cost. For example, this year one kid is getting a bike. Bikes are expensive!

 

We started something you want, need, wear, read, years ago. Now it's sort of morphed into 4 presents as the standard, with one want, and the others are a variety of smaller things.

[mlktwins]

I posted up-thread about my twins and keeping it very equal. Now that they are 11, they no longer count gifts (their wants are very different), but they know we are always equal monetarily.

[WoolC]

We spend the same on amount on each of our kids. The only exception would be if I happen to get a gift for one child at a steep discount, I still count the retail value of the gift rather than spending the leftover money on more gifts since that would make the overall amount of gifts unequal. We stick to 4 or 5 gifts each.

[Runningmom80]

We keep it equal.

[HomeAgain]

I think the running theme here is everyone tries to keep things fair for their children. :)  It doesn't always mean equal, but it can, and mostly we all just try to let them focus on their joy and not feel competitive on that day.

[lllll]

nm

Edited December 25, 2016 by ..Kathy..

[Caclcoca]

We focus more on meeting wants and keeping the number of gifts equal.  We have spent more on my ds15 and dd13 than the 10 and 8 year olds.  I feel like everyone will be happy though because they are getting what they wanted and a surprise that I think they will be excited about.  

[SKL]

My kids are almost the same age (about 10) and one of them is the type to notice "unfairness."  So I find myself trying to at least make it seem about equal - which is not easy when one of my kids wants 100 things and the other only asked for a couple ....