shinyhappypeople Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 His dad found him today. He killed himself. I've been worried because he hasn't posted on fb since Thurs or Fri, but I knew his dad was coming up to visit, so I just thought he was visiting with his dad. But, his dad didn't come up until today. He went to the dr. last Thurs. and the dr. diagnosed him with an illness unrelated to the depression (I don't know exactly what it was) and also prescribed anti-depressants. I don't know if he sugarcoated his depression to the doctor or what. I mean, I keep thinking, if only the doctor had admitted him on a 72 hour hold he would still be alive!!! I feel like I failed him. I tried to fix it, but I couldn't. My rational mind is fighting with my heart right now. I've known him since I was 8 years old. He was my friend's brother. He drove me nuts. We was like a brother to me. Over the years we've floated in and out of each others lives, but for the last 10 years or so he's gone camping with us a few times (he took pride in building huge, perfectly constructed campfires), and he hosted 4th of July at his house a lot, because he LOVED setting off fireworks. He bought the really cool kind. He was kind, and loving, and just a really great guy and all this F----G SUCKS!!!!!! We didn't tell our girls he killed himself. He had a disease called depression, so we told our kids that he was very sick and died. Period. I'm not sure if I'll ever tell them the details. I feel lost, and afraid, and I'm absolutely sick over how this must be affecting his parents and sister. Pray for me that I know how to love them and support them, because I'm not sure what to do, what to say. I just want to scream. But my kids are in the room with me watching Despicable Me 2, and I'm still "on the clock," still in mom mode, and I need to put the laundry in the dryer. Please pray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so very sorry. ((Hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so sorry. :( Please don't blame yourself. If you'd had even the slightest clue that he might do something so drastic, I know you would have tried to get help for him. But you're not psychic and you didn't know. Praying for him, his family, and for you, too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: s to you, and your friend's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 so sorry :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Praying :hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so sorry, praying for you and his family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoseInABook Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so, so very sorry. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so so sorry. Please be kind to yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so so sorry about your friend! My sister took her own life years ago. She had called to talk to my mom, but my mom was gone. My dad told her Mom will be back in a little while (no cell phones then) but he had NO IDEA she was having such a horrible time that day...and he was a doctor as well as her father! He said so many times...if only I'd known. She had depression for years, but was doing pretty well with meds and therapy. You just can't always know what is going on inside someone else. Even doctors can't read minds. Your friend very well may have downplayed how bad it was, or it may have gotten worse at some point after he saw his doctor. I know how heart wrenching this is. Please be assured of my prayers for you and for all involved. I pray that you, and the family and other friends, will find healing and peace. {{{{HUGS}}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 So very sorry for your loss. Praying for comfort and peace during this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so so sorry about your friend! My sister took her own life years ago. She had called to talk to my mom, but my mom was gone. My dad told her Mom will be back in a little while (no cell phones then) but he had NO IDEA she was having such a horrible time that day...and he was a doctor as well as her father! He said so many times...if only I'd known. She had depression for years, but was doing pretty well with meds and therapy. You just can't always know what is going on inside someone else. Even doctors can't read minds. Your friend very well may have downplayed how bad it was, or it may have gotten worse at some point after he saw his doctor. I know how heart wrenching this is. Please be assured of my prayers for you and for all involved. I pray that you, and the family and other friends, will find healing and peace. {{{{HUGS}}}} I'm not trying to hijack the thread, but I'm very sorry about your sister. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadeOrchidSong Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss. Will pray for you and his family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Praying you and his family find peace. Depression is real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneddmanybooks Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so, so sorry. I am praying for you and for his family and friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-bex Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so very sorry for your hurt and loss. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so very sorry for you. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so very sorry for your loss. Don't feel guilty, there's nothing you could have done..... Don't beat yourself up w/ the "what if's", and don't think you have to be "on" all the time either. If you need to cry, then cry. Let your dc know you are sad because you miss your friend. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: Praying. I good friend of mine from high school killed himself while he was in college. I saved the last letter he wrote me. He was just a good friend. I have explained to my husband why I keep the letter so he won't wonder if I die before him, LOL. This was a while ago and I still think about it and wonder, I can't imagine what his family went through and is still going through. His sister was the high school valedictorian, she said in her speech that she had a totally different speech prepared before he died. Her speech really made people think about what meant the most in their life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 This absolutely sucks and I'm so sorry. When I was 15, my best friend's best guy friend killed himself on her 16th birthday. (Not a romantic boyfriend, just a friend.) I don't know if she ever forgave herself for not somehow stopping him. There was no note, and she always wondered why he did it on her birthday. It tore her up as did the funeral…as they were both Catholic…and at the time (not sure if still holds true), the Priest wouldn't perform a funeral. A lot of times actually suicide is a sudden act. It's not planned. It's not thought out. It just is a momentary decision. You had no way to know. Your friend may have had no idea even in spite of seeking out help. I will be praying for you and his family. I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted March 31, 2014 Author Share Posted March 31, 2014 I keep listening to this song (Prayer for a Friend) over and over, even though it's too late. But, it's just how I feel, you know? It's weird how I go from weeping to feeling okay to just falling apart again. Thank you for the kindness and prayers. I know it's not my fault, but try convincing my heart of that, kwim? His family's flying out tomorrow. I cannot even imagine how heartbroken they feel right now. Please keep them in your prayers. I believe he's with God now. I believe he's a peace. I'm just so very, very sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: My 15yo's classmate recently took her own life. We've had quite a few discussions about suicide and we attended the funeral. I think it was healing to hear her parents speak about their experience. They talked about forgiveness (from the anger they had briefly experienced) and the peace their daughter is now experiencing. Peace from the depression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so, so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmtzc2009 Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so sorry. Praying for you and his family. I am sure had you known how serious things had gotten you would have done whatever you could to help. Now you have the opportunity to share memories with his family, mourn together and support each other. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Heartbreaking. Sending many hugs... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so very sorry for your loss. ((Hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Hugs to you, My father committed suicide. I have always comforted myself that he is at peace, he was so mixed up, with (to him) no visible way out of it .............................. he got peace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I believe he's with God now. I believe he's a peace. I'm just so very, very sad. I am so sorry about your friend. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Your post brought me to tears. I have a friend who died a few years ago, not suddenly but slowly (and not so slowly) drinking herself to death over many years. She became a believer during the last year or so, and I am greatly comforted knowing she's at peace and in the arms of God, but I still have anger at her for she people she hurt so badly (her kids). I still cry over it. Again, I am so sorry. It's very difficult, and there will be times you'll be glad you need your "mommy face" but it won't always be enough to cover your pain. :grouphug: :grouphug: :crying: :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevergiveup Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so very sorry. You (in my opinion) should tell your girls. They might have to deal with depression themselves or with friends and need to know what can happen. Life can be brutal and ugly and we do our children no service by not preparing them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so sorry. My daughter's friend attempted suicide recently (thankfully, she is okay for now). It really shakes you up and even I have questioned how I didn't see any signs (fact is... there were none!) when I saw her just a few days before she did it. Suicide really sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted March 31, 2014 Author Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'll probably tell my girls the details soon enough. Just not right now. I can barely handle it right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm sorry for your loss, you all will be in my thoughts. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 ((((Shinyhappypeople)))) I am so sorry. Everyone involved will be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tress Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so sorry! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so very sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so sorry. Hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so, so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: Sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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