How toddler-proof do you make your house for visitors?

[Laura Corin]

Update in post 64.

 

If you have a toddler at your house about once a year, how toddler-proof do you make it? Obviously you remove precious/dangerous items from toddler level. But do you make it so that the child can have free rein throughout or so that he needs supervision at all times? Or make one area completely safe?

 

Laura

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I have not had a toddler here, just crawlers and a disabled 8 year old (friend of ds).

 

I block the stairs, and protect the front of my heater because the glass is expensive and can't be had locally. I also make sure ds has put away all the utensils including knives if the 8 year old is visiting. I put dd's violin in her room. Lock her door, my bedroom door, and the upstairs bathroom door. The laptop goes in my room and my phone does not leave my pocket (the 8 year old is impulsive and quick, and when he's swiped my phone, he can't be reasoned with!).

 

I child proof as much as possible, however, my house is already fairly safe due to ds's aggressive meltdowns.

[EmmaNZ]

As the parent of a toddler I wouldn't expect you to have your house toddler-proof at all. I would expect to be paying close attention to what my guys are up to. Obviously, I would hope that there weren't any special or very expensive items out on a low coffee table or something, but otherwise I'd expect your house to be as it is normally.

[2squared]

How old is the toddler and how toddler unfriendly is your house?

 

I have been in a season for a long time with toddlers over here. I greatly appreciate going to houses that are toddler proofed.

 

Others disagree with my perspective since I've seen heated threads on this topic, but here's our general thoughts. If a house is toddler friendly, we will feel very welcome and we will be able to relax and visit. If a house is not toddler friendly, our stay will be short and exhausting.

 

Depending on where the visit is and how toddler unfriendly the house is, one of us will stay home with the toddler and the rest of the family will go. I am at a stage in my decade of toddler years that I don't desire to be hyper-vigilant anymore. If the option is hyper-vigilant or not go, I choose to not go. That's probably awful, but it's honest.

[Greenmama2]

As the parent of a toddler I wouldn't expect you to have your house toddler-proof at all. I would expect to be paying close attention to what my guys are up to. Obviously, I would hope that there weren't any special or very expensive items out on a low coffee table or something, but otherwise I'd expect your house to be as it is normally.

 

I agree with this but I do appreciate it if people at least put those bowls of sweets/candy up a little higher and move their precious things out of reach. I stay close to my little people when visiting but toddlers can be super fast and I can't be everywhere at once.

One area completely safe would allow the parents a moment or two to actually interact politely with their hosts.

 

[TravelingChris]

I haven't had any toddlers visit any house I have resided in in the last 8 years or so. I guess at some time I will have grandkids or someone visit but I think it will have to be up to the parents to be careful. I never toddlerproofed my own house very much when my kids were little. I taught them to leave things alone but if the kid is like my middle one and isn't on adhd medication, that kid will need to be physically restrained in some way- held, in playpen, watching tv something.

[Meriwether]

I have two living areas on different levels. I would make at least one of those completely safe. I'd make their sleeping area completely safe. I'd try to aim for one level being completely safe so the parents could let the kid roam that level and just watch the stairs. I wouldn't do the whole house, but I would want the guests to be comfortable.

[Annie]

I wouldn't rearrange your whole house by any means, but as the parent of a very busy little boy, I know that I appreciate it when there aren't very precious and breakable things at eye level. I think it also depends on your family culture. My parents house is far from toddler proof, but everyone keeps half an eye out for him to redirect if he's heading towards something that isn't for him. There are also some toys my mom keeps to keep him busy. My inlaws house is full of antiques and expensive decor items. They have full length book shelves displaying china and who knows what else in the area that is designated for us to sleep/play in. It's my job to keep him from touching anything, and it's *exhausting* to stay with them.

[Hannah]

I'd toddler proof the living area(s), put toddler locks back on the doors and drawers of the open plan kitchen if required, but expect parents to keep said toddler out of our bedrooms and study (where all the non-toddler friendly stash would go for the duration). Older kids would be allowed to close bedroom doors to the toddler.

[mytwomonkeys]

i certainly would accommodate a family or friend with a toddler that is staying here. i would not hesitate to put things up out of the baby's reach. but the reality is, i don't have toddlers anymore & my house is not baby proof at all. the child would definitely need supervision at all times, which my 11 year old would be happy to help with :) i would feel terrible if anything happened to a baby at my home, so i would definitely do my best to make it less stressful for my friend, but supervision would also be necessary at all times.

[Firefly]

When my brother visits with his little ones, I try to take care of obvious things that would be a danger-- at least in the living area, the guest room and kitchen. But this is a big old rambling 1600s farmhouse with slippery (and in one room crooked) wood floors, lots of pets and a piping hot woodstove in cold weather; so ultimately, it's up to the parents to supervise at all times.

[Farrar]

My kids have friends with toddler siblings so we have toddlers over routinely. We don't keep precious breakables out at a low level. That's it. Everything else is on the parents, though if something specific becomes an issue, then I'll happily move it or suggest to the parent that it be moved.

 

I think much of this depends on the parent as much as anything. Like I said, we have a particular toddler in the house often. She gets into stuff sometimes, but her mom is very relaxed and doesn't let it stress her out. My nephew is the same age and was here and EVERYTHING stressed out his mom. At one point, he had a toy the size of my fist and sil was convinced he could swallow it and it was dangerous.

 

Anyway, since it's so relative to parents, why bother beyond doing some minor, obvious things?

[TravelingChris]

Oh and to the poster who said they wouldn't feel welcome- I completely understand. I have tried to avoid inviting over people with toddlers. I have people I have invited to my house but I really try to avoid people with small kids. Why? Because one very important reason- I have an old dog who takes heart medication. He is a mini poodle with curly hair. He doesn't like taking all his medications. He normally does swallow them but every once in a while, I find a tiny heart pill that he somehow conceals in his hair and then later drops out. Yes, we sweep before guests and we even have cleaners every two weeks. However, these pills are tiny and go into cracks, etc. I don't want any little kid hurt. I also have a pool which is covered now in the winter. But again, my house just isn't suited now for small children. I suppose if I had to have someone over, I would have the little child in the lower level where the dog never goes and no animal ever gets pills and neither do any of us.

[Tammyla]

Toddler proof as possible...I haven't had little ones for years, but I want overnight visitors to feel welcome. Frankly, I want to relax and enjoy visiting. Toddlers get into everything and depending on the parents, you just never know.

[Rebel Yell]

I have a very small house and haven't had a toddler of my own in 9 years. There is no way I would make any room safe enough for a toddler to be left unsupervised.

 

I always have a gate at the top of the basement steps (off the eat-in-kitchen.) The three bedroom doors would be locked. The bathroom would be unlocked- but not toddler-safe. That leaves the hallway and the living room. I would put anway anythign that is irreplaceable. I don't have valuable things- but most bookshelves are not bolted to the wall.

 

So even though we're not toddler-proof, a parent would have to be completely incapacitated to be unaware of their toddler when he'd only have access to a 12x16 living room, a 12x16 kitchen, a bathroom barely big enough for a tub, sink, & toilet, and a short narrow hallway.

 

Yeah- I rarely have guests over of any age. :glare: Just not enough space.

[Cindy in FL.]

My house is pretty toddler proof all the time. That's just the way I roll. I don't want to have to worry about that kind of stuff if we have people over. However, if I wasn't that way, I would not spend too much time on it for a once a year visit.

[Giraffe]

I try to make one area safe, but it's usually not possible to toddler proof everything in my open living, dining, kitchen, entree area.

[ChristusG]

I don't expect a house to be toddler proof at all if toddlers do not live there....except maybe to remove dog water/food bowls and put precious breakables up higher. But gosh, it is SO helpful when people go above and beyond to toddler proof. This is why I dread going to people's houses. My baby has been mobile since 5 months. She is now 13 months and is into EVERYTHING. It is exhausting to go to someone's house that is not toddler proofed. I spend the entire time walking around after my baby, taking things out of her hands, which in turn leads to her falling down crying. I've tried bringing a playpen but this just leads to her crying because she's confined. So either way, I'm either chasing a baby around or listening to her crying so I'm not able to converse with the people having us over really at all. I'm frustrated and exhausted by the end of our time there LOL. So while I don't expect it, I'm forever grateful!

 

ETA: We went over to my husband's aunts house for Thanksgiving and she had the whole living room gated so that the babies could only stay in there.....and all non-baby safe things were put away. I could actually talk to people without following the baby constantly. It was SO helpful!

[NotSoObvious]

I make a big effort to make the immediate area as toddler proof as possible so that everyone can have a good time. In the end though, it's still mama"s responsibility. You can't expect your host to know exactly what your kid can and can't get into.

 

If I didn't make an effort to make my guest comfortable, I wouldn't expect them to stay long.

[Impish]

I guess it depends on what you mean by 'toddler proof'. I keep breakables out of reach, chemicals moved, that sort of thing. Beyond that, *I* don't toddler proof my house, I teach my kids not to get into things, that way, we go somewhere that isn't 'toddler proofed', and they understand 'don't touch' and steer clear of things.

 

Basically, dangerous/irreplacable = moved. I would *not* go out, get kid locks, etc.

[Mommyof4ks]

We baby proof the playroom for toddlers, but I make no promises that a few stray Legos were all put away. IMO, it is still up to the parents to care for their kids.

[regentrude]

I voted adult supervision.

Since my children are no longer toddlers, I do not normally have a toddler safe area in the house. And since I do not know how my guests parent their children and how likely the kids are to get into things they should not, I would not feel comfortable having toddlers roam unsupervised - even if I would deem the area safe for *my* children at that age: I know what I could expect from my children at that age, but I do not know what to expect from strangers' children.

Of course, medication and household chemicals are out of toddlers' reach in any case. But, for example, I have climbable book shelves in every single room in the house which I am definitely not removing for company. *My* kids knew not to climb them - I have no clue what my guests' kids would do.

[Candid]

As the parent of a toddler I wouldn't expect you to have your house toddler-proof at all. I would expect to be paying close attention to what my guys are up to. Obviously, I would hope that there weren't any special or very expensive items out on a low coffee table or something, but otherwise I'd expect your house to be as it is normally.

 

. If a house is toddler friendly, we will feel very welcome and we will be able to relax and visit. If a house is not toddler friendly, our stay will be short and exhausting. Depending on where the visit is and how toddler unfriendly the house is, one of us will stay home with the toddler and the rest of the family will go. I am at a stage in my decade of toddler years that I don't desire to be hyper-vigilant anymore. If the option is hyper-vigilant or not go, I choose to not go. That's probably awful, but it's honest.

 

I think if you combine these two answers you have the perfect answer. Every toddler parent should expect nothing and be happy that anything is done. BUT if you want a family with a toddler to spend time with you then you must go further. This is especially true of doting grandparents for instance; want toddlers to come and stay: make your house ready for them. But for an occasional short visit less needs to be done.

[Karen in CO]

I voted adult supervision, BUT I do try. I'll take a creep around at toddler level to see what is inticing that I hadn't noticed, and I never have breakables or poisons in kids reach anyway. I have never used child safety plugs or baby gates except when my brother's kids were crawlers. My house is pretty safe, but it is my house and not a toddler house. As a good hostess, I try to make my guests feel comfortable, but I wouldn't assume that they would feel so comfortable that they'd neglect to supervise their own kids.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I voted adult supervision at all times. I do put things up if possible but there are cords and things of that sort that do need some supervision to make sure they are not played with.

[Ellie]

Adult supervision at all times. Preferably the adults who are the parental units, KWIM?

[Kathryn]

To me, toddler-proofed means tiny things out of reach, breakables out of reach, and outlets covered. Also things like no sharp knives within reach (which I thought would be a no-brainer, but apparently isn't). My house is already like that. I don't expect others to do that, but do appreciate it if the room we'll be visiting in is reasonably toddler-proofed of dangers and special things put out of reach so I can focus on the visit. I wouldn't expect the whole house to be done. If I was an overnight guest, I *would* expect the room we were sleeping in to be relatively safe or easily made so by me.

[Beth in TN]

I have three younger children under 5 and I would not expect someone to childproof their home for us. I would expect fragile expensive things to not be on a low table but that because anyone could knock it over and break it. I watch my children and expect when I have company at my own home for parents to do the same.

[SwallowTail]

My house is incrediby unfriendly to toddlers, as I discovered last time a friend of mine came over with her kids. I felt terrible b/c her baby was into the cat food, opened a bottle of liquid plant food I had on the porch, picked up some tiny chokey of my daughter's....it was exhausting for all of us.

 

Whew. I am okay with not having toddlers over. It is just easier.

[EmilyK]

While I certainly supervised my kids, it was so helpful when they were toddlers to visit houses that didn't have precious or breakable things at their reaching level, at least in the room(s) I was expected to be visiting with people as well. I was so sleep deprived in those years it was hard to spend a whole relative visit walking after my child taking things out of his hands and trying to head him away from coffee tables with breakables.

 

If you are close it might be helpful to open a dialog about it. I would have been happy to help relatives rearrange things since I had a better eye for it in those years.

[Heather in Neverland]

I put the baby gate up in front of the stairs and I put away valuable things. Other than that, I expect parents to supervise their own children when visiting me. I don't let my 2yo run wild at other people's houses.

[Shellydon]

I watch my toddlers/preschoolers 100% of the time when I am in someone's home. My eyes are always on them. I would expect the same in my home and would not toddler proof at all.

[Donna]

I supervised mine when visiting anyone. I do try to make our main area (kitchen and living room) mostly toddler proof...put away all the little things and bring a few left-over toddler appropriate toys up. Our music room has doors I can close and I wouldn't want a toddler on either of my stairs (to upstairs or the basement) without close parental supervision anyway. So I voted toddler-proof one area and require supervision though it should have had an option where I'd expect the parent to supervise their child even though I had toddler proofed that one area.

[QueenCat]

I proof it as much as possible. I want my guests to be able to relax and not be consumed with worry over their tot getting hurt or breaking something.

[Rosie_0801]

I don't go to anyone's house if it is not toddler proof. Actually, I don't go to anyone's house if they are on less than an acre. I have that kind of kid. It has to be safe enough for the boy to run around with little supervision or I'll have to follow him around. If I have to follow him around, which I certainly can, I won't get to talk to you unless you also want to follow him around. Somehow, no one finds that a pleasant way to visit. Needless to say, everyone who likes us enough to want to see us is happy to avoid the problem by coming here or agreeing to meet in a nice, fenced park with no pond.

[Arcadia]

We have friends and neighbors with toddlers who drop by for play dates so my living room and bedroom is toddler-proof. Friends change their babies/toddlers diapers in my bedroom. Kitchen is relatively safe unless the toddler is very tall with long hands. We have stove locks and my kettle is on the bar counter part of the kitchen, knifes are way in and out of reach. My bathroom is toddler friendly but not toddler proof.

 

 

 

 

[Skadi]

Listen, I don't even toddler proof my own house. We try to house proof our toddlers instead. No locks on cabinets. We have an open stand that holds CDs. Bookshelves with books on the lowest levels. Christmas tree with ornaments. Electric sockets without covers.

 

We don't expect other parents to share our philosophy...but we're not going to radically change our house for a visitor. If a parent feels their kid is too wild to take to a person's house, they should politely decline the invitation.

[violamama]

My boys are the first grandkids for my husband's family. When our oldest was 2, we went to our family Christmas eve party (20 people, long night). Candles were lit on the low coffee table, which was covered with a large shiny ribbon runner with tassles all over it. There were two HUGE 130 pound cranky elderly dogs who had no experience with kids. There were beautiful plants and glass things everywhere.

 

You know, it would have been just fine as a one-evening kind of thing except the whole family gave me such a hard time for not "just relaxing". They actually said stuff like, "Oh, my kids loved to play on the stairwell" and "Don't worry, he can't hurt that Christmas tree" and "Well, he would only touch that fireplace once, you know." They had forgotten what toddlers are like, and what the job of parenting them can be like.

 

My point being, whatever level of babyproofing you choose you can make the parents feel more comfortable by acknowledging that they will be on top of things and that it's totally normal, maybe even offer to bring them a drink or snack. I do love it when there's a gated-off area if for no other purpose than to help the mom/dad stay close enough to feel like they are a part of the event and it doesn't even have to be really super baby proofed, just confined.

[Tap]

I say one area, but more likely two. The main living area and the bedroom they will be sleeping in.

[lailasmum]

I don't really bother too much. My friend had a baby just after I got rid of all the stair gates so if she comes around she will pick up anything she doesn't want her dd to get into like animal food bowls and keep an eye on her on the stairs. But my house is small and not too dangerous really.

[Melissa in Australia]

I have a large property (5 acres) but beside the house I have a fenced yard. It is left from when my own children were young (where have the years gone :crying: :crying: )

If I have a toddler visiting they are perfectly safe in the yarded area. In the house I have a slow combustion stove (wood). It is going pretty much most of the year, it is not screened, so If I have a toddler visiting in the house I am constantly watching them.

[happypamama]

I have a toddler, and my house is semi-toddler-proof. There are rooms he can be in without direct supervision, and there are others where he can only be if someone is directly watching him (largely because the big kids have toys with eighty bajillion small pieces for the toddler to dump out). But even those rooms don't have things like outlet covers. (Funny story: when my first started walking at 9 months old, I dutifully put in outlet covers. One day, DD, 11 months, toddled over and handed me one. I figured I'd left it out while vacuuming, so I shrugged and replaced it. A few minutes later, she handed it to me again. I put it back and watched her walk over to it, bend down, and use her TEETH to pull it out! Needless to say, I removed all of that day, and in a decade of parenting four toddlers, I've only ever had to direct a child away from an outlet a couple of times, and none of them have covers.)

 

If I go to a friend's house for a playdate for my older kids, I would expect that I'd need to watch my toddler closely, though I'd appreciate if she put anything really fragile out of his reach. I would not expect that she'd have gates or have the Legos all put away or whatever; I would expect that I'd need to be right with him at all times.

 

When I go to my parents' or ILs' house, especially for a few days, I would expect that they do a bit more if needed -- move stuff, maybe put up a gate, etc. It's not relaxing if DH and I have to be in constant close supervision of the small people, and we find that that sort of stress means that we end up not wanting to visit. Thankfully, our parents and ILs are all reasonable people and are happy to keep doors closed, keep medicines well out of reach, move fragile items, and so on. We do still keep an eye on our little guys, but we're able to sit down, chat, and relax. :) That to me seems like common courtesy for grandparents.

[Reya]

If you don't want it broken, put it up. :)

[2squared]

Listen, I don't even toddler proof my own house. We try to house proof our toddlers instead. No locks on cabinets. We have an open stand that holds CDs. Bookshelves with books on the lowest levels. Christmas tree with ornaments. Electric sockets without covers.

 

We don't expect other parents to share our philosophy...but we're not going to radically change our house for a visitor. If a parent feels their kid is too wild to take to a person's house, they should politely decline the invitation.

 

My house is toddler proofed for my toddler. He knows our house and my expectations. We don't have locks, electric socket covers, or bookcases bolted to the walls but I also don't have fragile decorations, hot heaters/stoves, or glass furniture. My toddler isn't wild, but he is trained for my house and our daily routine. There are places that I just don't take him b/c it's too much work for me to be watch him while also trying to tend to the needs of my other kids, especially when I have a baby and a toddler.

 

I don't expect others to toddler proof their house, but I also feel free to decline invitations. I feel welcomed when a host/hostess takes into consideration my toddler. I don't feel welcome when a host/hostess thinks, "Well, too bad. If your toddler isn't used to stairs, you will just have to hover the whole time rather than trying to block the stairs."

[Wheres Toto]

My younger two are past toddler-hood but we still don't have many breakables around. We still have a baby-gate between the kitchen areas and living room areas although it's more for the dog at this point since both my kids can open it, but it would keep the dog away from a toddler and a toddler away from the dog and all the dangerous kitchen stuff.

 

We had my cousin over for a few days last summer with her toddler. I put away the few toys we had with small parts (Legos, doll shoes) and anything easily breakable, although my kids have few of those. We had out Duplos, blocks, and similar toys that my kids still liked but were also toddler-safe. My oldest's room had a baby-proof cover on it already since her siblings weren't allowed in there.

 

I guess I would lean toward doing as much as possible to make it as easy as possible without having to buy things or move heavy furniture. In our house currently, that isn't much.

 

We went to visit family for a week when my son was almost 2. He was very active, curious, speech delayed that came with some listening/understanding delays (forget the term). The family we stayed with had a grandchild living with them that was only a few months older than my son but they followed the -no toddler proofing, train the child- policy with everything, including their indoor pool. We spent a lot of time following my son very closely and he still managed to break a ceramic coaster on the tile floor. I was 9 months pregnant with dd so it was not a very relaxing trip.

[PinkInTheBlue]

As the parent of a toddler I wouldn't expect you to have your house toddler-proof at all. I would expect to be paying close attention to what my guys are up to. Obviously, I would hope that there weren't any special or very expensive items out on a low coffee table or something, but otherwise I'd expect your house to be as it is normally.

 

 

This was true for me through my 3 toddlers.

[TechWife]

I didn't really do much toddler proofing for my own toddler. I covered outlets and dangerous cleaning chemicals & medications were kept on a high shelf, but that was it, really. As a matter of style, though, I don't do a lot of nick- knacks (never have) and we didn't live in a home with stairs at the time. I did think it very important to teach my son not to touch things that didn't belong to him and shadowed him if necessary when we visited others' homes. I don't consider it exhausting to look after my own child. If I thought a home was truly dangerous, I think I would have just left, but that never happened.

[2squared]

I don't consider it exhausting to look after my own child.

 

 

Oh, I wasn't exhausted with my first. I was in my 20s and only had one kid. Every stage the first goes through is fun, even the annoying stuff. Now I am almost 40 and I'm on my fifth toddler. I hit exhausting when I had two under 3yo along with older dc. I love my toddler and he brings me infinite joy, but I am bone tired at the end of every day. So, yes, it is exhausting for me to be hyper-vigilant in unfamiliar surroundings with my toddler. I can do it, but I usually choose not to. My dh makes the same choice when he is on toddler duty.

[tabrizia]

My house is toddler proofed for my toddler. He knows our house and my expectations. We don't have locks, electric socket covers, or bookcases bolted to the walls but I also don't have fragile decorations, hot heaters/stoves, or glass furniture. My toddler isn't wild, but he is trained for my house and our daily routine. There are places that I just don't take him b/c it's too much work for me to be watch him while also trying to tend to the needs of my other kids, especially when I have a baby and a toddler.

 

I don't expect others to toddler proof their house, but I also feel free to decline invitations. I feel welcomed when a host/hostess takes into consideration my toddler. I don't feel welcome when a host/hostess thinks, "Well, too bad. If your toddler isn't used to stairs, you will just have to hover the whole time rather than trying to block the stairs."

 

:iagree: , really I can deal if I go to someone's house who hasn't toddlerproofed, as long as they don't mind me moving dangerous to a toddler things out of reach. Depending on how their house is, I may or may not go back again with the toddler, but I can deal for a few hours, even if I don't get to visit because I'm chasing the toddler. It is more enjoyable if there is at least a semi safe area where I can hang with the toddler and watch them and still interact with other people, since if I am just chasing the toddler the whole time, well not much point to me going, but it is really up to the host.

 

If I am staying over someone's house, if they are able to toddlerproof at least the room we are staying in, and semi-toddler proof, and not mind me moving things out of the toddlers way, I am happy. I don't expect them to toddlerproof their whole house, heck my whole house isn't toddlerproof either. It is nice though if I am staying there to know that there is somewhere that I can take my eyes off the toddler for a few minutes at least. If it isn't possible, I am likely going to stay in a hotel, which I can easily make toddlerproof, for my toddlers at least.

 

Really it is up to the host how far they want to go to make their house comfortable for their guests with toddlers, and I respect that. I also realize I have the right to decline an invitation to visit the person again, especially with said toddler, if I have no time to socialize with said person I'm going to visit and I have to watch every breath the toddler is taking to make sure they are safe. A safe area is always a benefit and totally appriciated, but as long as the host isn't bothered by my minor toddlerproofing to make the area we are in safe for my toddler, I am happy either way.

[jujsky]

If it's only occasionally, I don't toddler proof. Someday when I have grandchildren or if my brother ever has a kid, I will somewhat. I never expected anyone to toddler proof their homes for my kids (although the huge, open, totally-not-to-code staircases at my IL's added lots of stress to my life and made me not want to visit).