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violamama

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Oregon
  • Interests
    "It has something to do with incarnation... Any human face has a claim on you, because you can't help but understand the singularity of it, the courage and the loneliness of it." ~from Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

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  • Biography
    From Alaska, have a doctorate, lived in Japan, love to be occupied.
  • Location
    Outskirts of Portlandia, where I'm bringing down the hip factor daily.
  • Occupation
    Professional musician

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711 profile views
  1. There are three things I see in play: 1. Permanence and worldwide instant dissemination 2. Mobs are opportunistic and unsympathetic And most of all 3. All information becomes equal in the eyes of "the public" online. Expertise means very little, which mean conspiracy and hyperbole are given equal audience with truth. Contrition means almost nothing.
  2. Eek, spoke a little soon. She had a "paradoxical reaction" to morphine and freaked out for 4 hours screaming, thrashing around and hallucinating, and then had trouble breathing for a bit. She seems good now and they decided not to take her to the ICU which is a relief because she finally fell asleep. Hopefully her recovery is straightforward from here on out. I didn't have a minute to use any of the great things I brought until now! Glad to have a few comforts. I think I may go to bed at 9pm, a personal record for sure.
  3. We're in her room for the night and all seems to be going well. Thanks again for the advice and prayers.
  4. There is so much great advice here. I would never have thought of this stuff. It is for spinal cord untethering, and her surgeon thinks it's a relatively minor case. They expect the surgery to take less than an hour, and I hope they stick with just one night in the hospital. Thanks again.
  5. This is one of those just-get-through-it weeks.

  6. My daughter turned 2 last week. She has a spine surgery on Wednesday at 6am and is expected to stay overnight after that. My parents are taking our boys for 5 days, so that's covered and they will love that. Advice wanted: 1. What should I bring for myself? 2. Any general advice to help a toddler deal with being in a hospital? 3. Tips for the at-home recovery period? (I also would love your prayers for us if you're so inclined.)
  7. We just got back from 3 weeks away and we're jet lagged and overwhelmed so I'm only putting one focus on my list today: Be patient with the kids. Keep my voice pleasant. Hugs, Jean!
  8. I think part of the glory of owning something is choosing when to give rides. How about you let her decide what days are "ride days" for people outside her friends? While it may make some of the kids feel left out and she may overly enjoy the power, learning to negotiate both of those things is also healthy. If they all live there, they will eventually get a ride if they're nice to her. I see in your siggy she's 6. With my 6 yo, we have enjoyed watching him become a very generous kid. We didn't really MAKE him. We did point out how nice it feels to give things, and what a privilege it is. We would not make him give everybody rides any time they ask. That would take the joy right out of being generous!
  9. I agree with the above. It sounds like you all have had a rough time. I don't know all the details, but could you now talk to them? Would it be worth it to clarify why what they did was wrong? My mom always told me something similar, but it was clear it was things like not going to a party or movie as others have said. If I pushed the boundaries into disobeying authority (like teachers or administrators) then she would have absolutely made me make that right immediately. I can't specifically remember if she ever had to do that. I do remember lying as a kid, multiple times. It mortifies me to this day. I think I turned out pretty all right and don't do that anymore. Try not to worry. Perhaps the use of you as an excuse as part of their lies would have happened whether you had given them the idea or not. It was certainly not what you meant, and they probably did know it. (I haven't followed your situation, though, so mostly just mean it sounds like standard parenting to me...)
  10. I had the best dog in the entire world while in grad school and until my first son was about 8 months old. He was a tricolor. He lived about 9 years and died of Mitral Valve Disease, which sucked. I have known cavs who had valve replacement surgeries, but that will never be our family's style. It's just something you'll want to consider about the breed. His parents and grandparents lived to be 17 (Methuselah-ancient for cavs!) but sadly that did not transfer to my boy. IMHO, Cavaliers are nothing like other spaniels (cockers tend to be so cranky and can become a bit daft, or maybe I've had bad luck with the ones I've observed!). I had an electric razor, and kept my boy trim and clean with about 15 minutes a month. That served us well, as he liked to hike with me and I didn't want to mess with a hairy dog. Tight trimming also kept the inside of his ears nice and tidy so he avoided ear problems that can be common with hang-eared dogs. Plus, he looked like a clean little baby puppy his whole life and not one of my music students was afraid of him. If you do get one, I would have three pieces of advice. 1. Use a really good breeder. Cavs are expensive because they should have extensive records of how the dog's ancestors did in terms of heart and spine issues. That's in addition to all the other reasons to use a reputable breeder. By the way, "AKC" means absolutely nothing. Each breed has their own societies for breeders which are usually much more stringent and membership does mean something. There should be a waitlist for puppies. I had to wait 6 months for mine, and it was a great breeder, but he still had heart issues. No guarantees; this is what happen when a whole breed develops/continues from just a few dogs. 2. Get one with black or brown under its eyes. Cavs, like most spaniels, tend to be a little bit weepy. If they have white under their eyes then it gets stained brown. 3. When they tell you to never trust your Cav off-leash, believe them. They are super smart but also capricious and curious and WILL chase a squirrel across a street after winning an agility contest and an obedience certificate (ask me how I know). He once wanted to make friends with a grizzly bear across an alpine meadow. No voice command would have made him reconsider. Seriously. Also, dogs with heart issues snore like longshoremen. Guests who stayed over often expressed concern about my husband's health because they thought it was him! We used to express concern when the dog wasn't snoring over the sound of the TV or whatever. Did he die? How could he sleep so silently? He wasn't a noisy breather when awake (like a pug or similar) but he slept whenever he was stationary, especially near the end.
  11. My husband and I are aow and leave tomorrow for three weeks diving and relaxing in the keys. We live in Oregon and have drysuits and certification but haven't been out in them yet. We're active in our club and our kids have heard lectures on all sorts of cool sea-related science. I'm not much for deep for deep's sake but I love reefs and wrecks. Eta: we have as advanced open water certs and have done quite a bit of diving. Have you checked out the scubaboards? Super active community.
  12. One last daaaaaay One day mooooooore! (I can't help it. Les Mis soundtrack always comes out before travel.) Of course I have a thing or two left no matter how early I try to start preparing. School Chinese Math Reading Work Do 1099s (may do on airplane...) Get chamber music & concerto parts Before Trip on Saturday TOMORROW!: Pack & bring cello School: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?, Empty Fridge Packing: Special sunscreen, goggles, sunshirts, hats, water shoes, scuba gear, sunglasses, piano books, ipads Change our sheets Meh, WHEN WE GET BACK Bleach toilets Set up iPads DELEGATED TO DH Get box to send trunki DEFERRED TILL WE RETURN
  13. Our daughter sings herself to sleep at night saying "wo ai bi Fang Fang" (a toddler way of saying wo ai ni which is I love you in Mandarin). She is a spicy cuddly joy. Her sixth month homecoming and second birthday both happen next week.
  14. We survived the pediatrician, thanks to my mom and a trip to lunch at the arcade after. My 6 yo said the shots were not better than all the worrying he had built up but were actually worse. Poor kiddo, that is saying something. School We are ditching. I'll ask them to read later. Work Do 1099s Call Aftercare director Get chamber music & concerto parts Arrange 3 new classes with email Before Trip on Saturday: Pack & mail cello School: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?, Empty Fridge Packing: Special sunscreen, goggles, sunshirts, hats, water shoes, scuba gear, sunglasses, piano books, ipads Change our sheets Bleach toilets Set up iPads Get box to send trunki
  15. Definitely donate. As I understand it, if you donate to Goodwill (or another 501c3) and get a receipt, you can claim "replacement value" on your taxes. For even a base-level violin it would easily be $600-$1000 for two, especially with a bow and case. Try not to let them sit around unplayed too much longer. That can also do its own kind of damage. If you're pretty sure they aren't worth much, don't bother with an appraisal. Appraisals can be spendy.
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