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Meriwether

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Everything posted by Meriwether

  1. With a parent he could help during that time and grandparents right next door, I don't see why not. Most kids would be fine at 12 even without that support.
  2. I don't know, but I am very sure that many of my son's cc classmates cheat. He was way behind with technology when he started cc classes kind of last minute. Long story. But I helped him a lot the first weeks. I had to show him how to find what was due, how to submit things, how to access the textbooks, everything. He had trouble getting some of the art history powerpoint stuff to play. Anyhow. I saw how the material was presented. I saw the amount of detail that was covered on the tests. Ds17 also told me the test questions he remembered. Because it was open book, the teacher asked minute details instead of the most important information. I saw, while helping Ds17 submit discussion posts and respond to others, the incredibly bad writing and shallow understanding of the majority of his classmates. Ds17 is not a great student. He describes himself as a dummy. He struggles with writing. But his writing was better than most of what I saw. I'd say he was in the top 15% on the discussion points. He probably averaged C's on the quizzes (after taking notes on the material presented) and he was the worst in the class. Almost everyone else got A's on the quizzes. There is no way they could have found all those details in 20-40 hours of youtube videos and 2-4 chapters covered per test in the half hour they were given for the tests. No way. And based on what I saw, they weren't top students that would remember all of those details off the top of their heads either.
  3. We did an extra senior year for my Ds19 for a couple of reasons. He was young for grade, not too young but young in a world of red shirted kids. His August birthday would have had him starting college juuust after turning 18. He has ADHD and executive function issues. I decided 19 wasn't too old to start college and gave him the choice. Also, he was able to work and save up some money for college that year which paid half of this year (we paid the other half) and a little toward next year. Enough that he may be able to pay his half with money earned this summer. He would not have been happy to just do another year at home, so he did mostly dual enrollment his last year. He had a few DE classes his junior year, too, so he started his freshman year with 27 credits, not far behind where he would have been. He often questioned/regretted that extra year while he was living it, but last week he told me how glad he was. It has turned out well for him so far, especially socially. Communal living isn't his favorite thing, but the extra year to mature helped.
  4. I haven't spent much time thinking about next year yet. Dd14 is a good student but reads very slowly, so she doesn't have a lot of time for extras. Things I am pretty sure about: Science: Berean Builders Biology Math: Jacobs Geometry (I may do this 3 days per week and Foerster's Algebra II 2 days per week. I don't like the big gap between Algebra I and II. But Dd14 likes the satisfaction of finishing a curriculum each year enough that using multiple resources might not be worth it. ) Bible: The Most Important Thing You'll Ever Study Book 4 Things that I want her to do that aren't planned yet: History and literature from 1776-1900. Spanish Things that I would consider valuable to her future that I would facilitate if she is interested (I am very open to recommendations on ways to study these topics!): Accounting Photography or video editing Public Speaking The bolded give her 5.5 credits. She will also be given some type of entrepreneurial credit for either helping plan or start (depending on when we get it off the ground) a family business, because she will spend a lot of time on it. Once she picks her elective, that will bring her to 7.5 credits which will be plenty for her. For extracurriculars, she will hopefully find a good youth group. We haven't found a church in our new city yet. She'll also do TKD competitively this year which involves a lot of time on the road. She would also like to find a choir/show choir/drama club.
  5. I'm not sure what exactly you got from my post (online communication is so hard!). He spoke about not making friends with regret, so it isn't a matter of validating his control. I just want him to have buddies. I don't care if they are under 18. Community college was one of the places I thought he might meet friends, but I am also hopeful for homeschool, neighborhood, or church friends. Just someone. By "his adult life", I meant that he is planning on starting a business soon. And he is currently spending two days per week, at least, in our previous town. He drives up when he has the time and inclination.
  6. FWIW, Ds17 is somewhat shy around new people, but his personality is generally out-going. He is a life of the party type person who generates energy in a group and unconsciously draws attention to himself. If he feels like making friends as an older teen just isn't going to happen, I can imagine how much more of a challenge it would seem to some kids. His older brother would have struggled with it so much more. We, obviously, moved with teens, but it really does stink for them in some ways. I would move for a job in your case, but I would also really try to make it as pleasant for them as possible.
  7. We are just settling in from a forced relocation. I have a 17 year old junior, a 14 year old 8th grader, and a 4th grader. We haven't started integrating in our new area yet. The kids are spending most of two days each week in our previous town for training. My 17 year old isn't planning on making kid friends. 💔 His stated expectations is that he will just move on to his adult life. I hope he is wrong.
  8. I have always bought what I wanted and then adjusted other spending accordingly. When we were just getting started and had small children, we just lived frugally all the time. After my husband started getting a yearly bonus, the school stuff came out of the bonus and just affected other things that came out of the bonus. Those things tended to be more wants than needs (because I wouldn't feel comfortable budgeting needs out of something that might not come), so then it became easier to pay for more expensive things. High school is indeed more expensive than elementary school.
  9. On the subject of kids working independently, kids deserve interaction even if they can work independently. My oldest was very independent and preferred to work alone from very young. I allowed that because she was so very capable and my next needed so much support. But it wasn't ideal. I regret it now. I have put in 12+ hour days with kids (they all had breaks!) so that I could give each kid the time they needed, and I don't regret that at all.
  10. I am too tired (and stressed lol) to try to be coherent and word things just right, so I apologize in advance if I come across any particular way except showing my thought process for my family. I know what it is like to not live up to my own ideals. I also know what it is like to prioritize an activity. I am struggling this year. About a third of the girls' subjects are lagging behind where they need to be. Another third are so far behind that I don't know how we could possibly finish this year. This isn't the first year we've struggled. We have been derailed by life events before. But this might be our worst year, redeemable only because I am responsible for two kids instead of five. Part of the issue with this school year was an active choice by our family. We are very involved with a sport. My husband and kids compete at a pretty high level. Among them they have 5 years on Team USA, 6 world championships, an individual PanAm championship and multiple team ones, dozens and dozens of (multi-state) districts championships, and even more state championships. As of now they have 8 standings in the top ten in the world in their age and rank. I mention that only to show that we are very involved and won't be giving up sport related traved any time soon. This year we chose to go to tournaments in St. Louis, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Fargo, Sioux Falls, and Brazil in the fall. The spring semester has tournaments in Memphis, Minneapolis (x 2), Quincy IL, Lincoln, Sioux City (x 2), Dallas, and St. Louis. Summer has us going to Pheonix. The other big part of the issue was a forced relocation that has been particularly stressful. Although we are now settled into our new house, it is still affecting our school year. We don't have a local place to train, so the kids leave on Monday to drive to our old town. They train Monday evening, stay the night with friends, and then train on Tuesday getting home late Tuesday night. It doesn't make it easy to get a week's worth of school work done each week. I don't get a full day with them on Monday. I can't work with them on Tuesday unless it is over the phone. They are tired on Wednesday. The girls will both finish math in April. Dd14 will finish science and geogrpahy in April. She will probably finish Spanish in June. I don't know about writing and Bible. Once math, science, and geography are done, she can double up on them. Maybe she can finish them in June? Literature and history are just not going to happen to my satisfaction this year. It will be lost time. We'll get done what we can. I gave up on any fun extras months ago. Dd9 will finish spelling and the Greek alphabet in March. She is, voluntarily, doing a week's worth of Latin in three days now. It is just hard to make up for two months of not knowing where the disc is. German we've just been practicing old vocabulary. I doubt she finishes this year. She will not finish her AWANA book; we haven't found a new church yet. If we double (or triple) up when math is done, maybe she can finish science and writing in May or June. She has read enough that I am not worried about literature, but history is not getting done. I am not sending kids back to school for at least three reasons: 1) We have good years to balance out bad years. I never get everything done I want to with the kids, but I always want a lot. If I mentally set aside the unrealistic things, the kids have mostly had solid years. 2) History has been bad this year, but it is likely more history than they would get in public school. The other subjects that we aren't doing well with might have been better in ps this year, but not in the balance of their entire education. 3) My kids cooperate. We have had a crummy year for school, but when they are working on it they work. If I say, do a math lesson, they do a math lesson. Occasionally it takes more time than they have to finish it that day (yesterday Dd14 only got part way in on a lesson of word problems before she had to leave), but they sit down and work when it is time to do school. I have handled unfinished work in various ways. Sometimes I give up on that goal. If a kid wanted to try something, but we just never got to it it got put back on the shelf. Sometimes we work through the summer. If a kid just didn't put in the effort during the school year, they sat with me long hours in the summer and did it until it was done well. Sometimes, if it was an extra, we just restarted it the next year or continued on the following year. That is basically my though process. Your though process might be different. But there are things that I think should be concerns for most people, red flags to watch for. I would put kids in school for the following reasons: 1) If they got farther behind a standard level every year (except in kids with LD's). 2) If our lifestyle were training the kids to not fulfill their responsibilities (in this case school) because they would rather do something more fun. It is one thing to not do school when everyone is working on setting up the house after a move and another to not do school regularly because no one feels like doing it. 3) If I was the only one trying. If I told a kid to sit down and do math and they didn't, I would be teaching them to disregard my instructions and that it was okay to disobey. I value my kids' character development even more than their academics, so that just isn't going to fly. (The kids call me a pushover, so I am not talking about abject servility here. They often ask for and get an extra chapter of read aloud before starting school. They can elect to go get the mail or do other short tasks between subjects for a break. They can get lunch when it suits them. But time for school is time for school and I don't fight to get them to their desks.)
  11. Sparring is generally okay. The kids take some headshots but not many. Not like a football game. The kids had more friends on the basketball team lose playing time from concussions than from TKD. I don't think anyone from our school has had a concussion concern. If Ds17 goes to say 15 tournaments this year and faces an average of 4 fighters per tournament, that is 120 minutes or less of competitive sparring. Probably 90 minutes or less. He probably won't get kicked in the head a dozen times. And with point sparring, most players exercise control. He is in more danger of injury from falling, which he does spectacularly.
  12. I saw my avatar just now but had no idea what this thread was about. I'm a little surprised I called the phone company. I get a lot of spam calls now, but more to the point I don't like calling businesses to ask questions. I must have been pretty weirded out.
  13. I don't remember specifics but my husband's starting salary was within spitting distance of mine. He had been working almost two years before I started and I believe my salary (and I was a teacher with summers off) was over $26,000 and his was under $28,000. There is now a huge, huge, huge difference in our earning potential. I might be able to get hired before getting recertified if the schools are desperate for teachers, but I wouldn't make half of what he makes now. We are in different fields and I have been out of the workforce for almost 21 years. It took years and years for his salary to replace mine once I was no longer working, so it was good we never got used to living off two salaries.
  14. Almost 22. Dh was 24. We bought it just before our wedding. It was something like 980 sq feet and $72,000. 0% down deal for first time homeowners. I looked at how much we would pay for it if we took 30 years (over $300,000) and decided we were putting most of my salary (which wasn't much 😂) on the house. We paid my tithe and work expenses (mostly gas for the commute) out of my paycheck and put about $1000 extra on the house each month. We were on track to pay it off in 4 years when I got pregnant accidentally (the very best accident). I ended up only working 3 years and had a scholarship turn into loan because of that lost year. So we didn't get the house fully paid off, but those extra payments gave us the down payment for our next house when we were transferred. To make those payments, we lived off Dh's very modest salary. We didn't vacation. We didn't go out to eat. We bought new clothes rarely. Our fun money was 2 Easton Press books for me per month, 2 or 3 golf outings per month when weather allowed for him. Dish network or similar, cheapest plan. Gas to visit family up to once per month. But we felt very fortunate, very, to be living off his salary. His starting salary was more than either of our families had ever made in a year at that point.
  15. I haven't played that game yet, although it is on my list. If you are on Facebook, there is a boardgamegeek group that would be able to answer your question.
  16. I'll push the games if I want them to happen. There can be a certain amount of inertia sometimes and screens are easy. I'll say something like, "Everyone pick a game (we have a fair amount)." Then we play them until we run out of time, starting with the youngest's and ending with mine. Not everyone plays ever game. Some have limited player counts. That gives people an out for interests. Dh and I will play every game unless the child who chose whats particular siblings to play.
  17. My in-laws did come for Dd20's high school graduation. They even stayed with us. But they were gone almost the whole time visiting with friends who live about an hour from us. They were late to the graduation party and didn't eat because they had gotten ice cream with their friends. They also don't understand why the grandkids don't visit.
  18. My son got me a videogame called Storytellers. My sister gave me a boardgame called Really Loud Librarians. Neither is a game I would have chosen for myself, but I think I'll have some enjoyable hours playing them. My dad gave me a nice cash gift and a puzzle book. By far, the best gift I got was when my family dropped everything and came from out of state just before Christmas to reroof my house. It was only 12 years old, so we weren't expecting issues. Less than 24 hours after finding out it was bad, we were tearing off. My husband and I did not really exchange gifts. We close on our new house in less than two weeks (forced relocation so not an active choice we made) and there have been a lot of expenses on this one and also things we want to buy for the next one. For example, I will be buying some pantry organizers once I've lived there long enough to know what I want. (ETA because pantry organizers don't give the proper scope: a bedroom suite for Dd13, a sectional for the livingroom when Dd20 gets an apartment and takes our current furniture, upgrading two twin beds to full beds w/new mattresses for when we have company, etc. None of it is immediate, but it is all coming over the next year or so.) Also, we bought gifts for the kids, but we didn't feel the need to move more stuff for ourselves. I did fill a stocking for him, but it was mostly socks. And I wrapped a kind of joke gift for under the tree for him - two boxes of plastic hangers. He is going to have a walk-in closet at our next house and his t-shirts are no longer going to be living in my dresser.
  19. I got my 9 year old an MP3 player for Christmas. She was so excited about it, but when she started using it she found out it doesn't remember where she left off and goes back to the beginning. I looked online and apparantly most MP3 players are the same way. If you have one that remembers where you left off, would you please link to it?
  20. Our movers come to start packing us up in two days. I lost a lot of purging time to emergency work that needed to be done. I will try to get rid of a few more boxes of stuff and a couple pieces of furniture, but there isn't much time left.
  21. My 17 year old said working hard on the roof made him feel like a man. He doesn't have as many opportunities to do big and somewhat dangerous things as his farm cousins.
  22. We had an emergency reroofing party last week. My sister brought her kids to help. Ages 14+ worked on the roof consistently. All but the youngest spent some time on the roof pulling nails. The youngest four worked hard picking up trash. Ages 6-11. I'll remove the picture shortly.
  23. I wasn't trying to chastise you, just saying how I would feel about my parents helping my brother or sister. They are helping me with something big right now. They've helped my siblings with things other times. They are of retirement age, but my dad still farms. They just put some money in some kind of investment. I only know because they put all our names on it. I told them to do something fun with it. I honestly wouldn't care if they gave it to one of my siblings.
  24. I would not begrudge my siblings help if my parents gave it, and I would help my kids get a down payment if I could. My family tends to help each other out a lot, though. All of us have benefited by my parents' generosity, and I'm not even talking about money.
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