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About 2squared

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    Turd Nugget in Training

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    On the cold prairie near Laura Ingalls

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  1. I agree. I truly think your kids are following your lead, and I don’t think they are receiving the message you think you are sending. I think the message they are receiving is, “try to keep abusive, nasty grandma in your life no matter how much she abuses and offends you and others”. I truly don’t understand why you would allow this person to have any contact with your children under any circumstances. I think the message you should be sending to your kids is...we don’t interact or include someone like grandma in our lives. We don’t invite her to our house, we don’t read her em
  2. If this grandparent is so terrible, I don’t understand why she would be with your family on Christmas Eve. Anyone who caused as much anger as you have, would not be in my home or invited to join my life. Has your oldest dd learned that she should invite/include grandma despite her issues, just like her mom does? She she continuing the pattern of her family of origin? I think it’s unrealistic to invite grandma to her family of origin events but then expect the oldest to stay away from her. That’s a mixed message I also think it’s unrealistic to think a grandparent is expected to
  3. This is similar to my thoughts about in-laws. I like my in laws, but I have enough mental load without including them. I maintain relationships with my side of the family, and I plan all my family things. If dh wants to do something with his side of the family, that’s his responsibility. I will certainly support him, but he needs to carry the load with regard to his family. i also often skip in-law functions. Once again, they are nice enough people, but every function is an all day affair and I don’t have a lot of mental bandwidth to handle it. I have five kids and a FT job. My life is bu
  4. Yes, exactly this. Working for net $0 during the daycare years isn’t about the daycare years. It’s about the long view to income potential and financial stability.
  5. I agree $100 bills are just money, but I do NOT see people using them all the time. It’s very noticeable when someone pulls out a $100 bill. We are higher income living in a rural lower cost of living area, and a $100 bill will draw a comment every.single.time.
  6. Yes, it would bother me. But....pulling out $100 bills is noticeable and will usually result in a similar comment. If I had a $100 bill and if I used it to pay for lunch, I wouldn’t be surprised at all to receive a similar comment, regardless of income levels or relationship of either party. In my experience, average person does not carry $100 bills for various reasons, including are harder to spend (many places don’t accept large bills). So...while it would bother me, I would have expected a snarky or joke comment.
  7. $10k vehicle + four years of tuition, room, and board (spread over four years) dh asked what gift we were going to give, and I said nothing other than funding her for the next four years.
  8. In the last few years we have rented beach houses on Sunset Beach and Tybee Island. Both vacations were a lot of fun. We rented within walking distance to the beach, and we preferred early evening beach time. We alternated beach days with non beach days, and we would split up according to interests and/or ages. Both vacations were with cousins as well, which greatly increased the fun. other times when we travel, we rent multiple hotel rooms, preferably at least one with a sitting area. We also like hotels with gathering areas for game playing in the evening. We usually have one female ro
  9. 2squared


    We are one of the crazy families, and it’s not because we have any thoughts about college or beyond. We invest time and money into crazy sports schedules because my kids are athletic and competitive. They are learning how to set goals, work hard, fail, succeed, and strive for excellence using their talents and interests. Most families have some activities or interests they pursue with passion - music, debate, reading, chess, travel, etc - without thoughts of college or professional gain. My oldest ds has a personal goal of being a high school state champion in his winter sport. We h
  10. Have you calculated how much you need to pay monthly to pay down the loans? Your payment isn’t covering principal and interest, so the balances will keep growing. A $177k loan at 13% interest requires almost $2k/month payment to pay off the loan in 30 years. Obviously this isn’t your exact situation, but step #1 for me would be to calculate the required payment to start paying principal and interest. Without traction against the loans, the situation cannot get better. Step #2 would be to see if I could get a lower interest loan to pay them all off, but I’m guessing that w
  11. In my work world, my time is owned by my employer. I do have obligations pushed down from those above me in the food chain, regardless of my personal thoughts about such obligations. I have examples of such things beyond my work life too. While these obligations are not beneficial for me, they are beneficial for most/many of the participants. High school has rules for the majority, not for the individual, and I think it is much like the post-high school world. We coach our kids to know when they should fall in line and play the game and when they don’t need to comply.
  12. I also wanted to add...in my full time day job, I have meetings throughout the day. It’s my responsibility to show up on time, regardless of how involved I am in another work task. Checking in for high school classes seems a lot like the real world.
  13. When my higher schooler is virtual, he has to login for various classes as well. If he forgets or has a technology issue, I send an email to the teacher. We’ve only had an issue once or twice, and I have emailed his teachers immediately. His teachers have not marked him tardy or absent those times. He does have alarms on his phone so he checks in at the correct times, and I would expect him to figure out a method to check in as expected. I know the school is trying to provide structure and contact points for the kids. My kid doesn’t need it, but many of them do need it. I will say he
  14. Explain to your kid what the process entails. No one explained to my 18yo what the procedures were, and she had a panic attack before sedation. Then, afterwards, she was crying and struggling and asking for me. They couldn't get her blood pressure under control, and they not only wouldn't come get me ,but they told her I was unavailable....for hours. I had absolutely no idea. I told the orthodontist she was traumatized, and he didn't seem to care because the surgery itself went well. I was in the waiting room the entire time, as they require. I am still very angry, and we won't be going back
  15. We were fortune with the first round since we qualified due to a weird fluke with taxable income deductions. We shouldn’t have qualified, but we did. We won’t qualify this round due to high income. I much rather have our income than the stimulus! I am envious of those who don’t qualify for the stimulus on one income. Other than inheritances, all our money goes into one bucket. That bucket is then used for all our needs and wants. Inheritances will be different b/c They will come from my family, and I want to keep them separate for my kids.
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