Well it finally happened.

[PeterPan]

A kid walked in on us.

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What do I do? 

1) Bring it up.

2) Don't bring it up.

3) Hide for a year.

4) Move him out to the barn. 

He's 14. And impulsive. And the door was shut. 

He just didn't knock.

And don't say to be european about it cuz I ain't. 

[Shelydon]

*faint* 😲😳 I would move him to the barn. LOL

[Clarita]

First get a lock on that door. Then I'd probably hide in embarrassment for a year. 😬

[Scarlett]

Ha.  Well, I lived through similar……although it was noise that he heard when he should have been sleeping. I apologized that he was traumatized, but I said I would not Apologize  for my relationship with my husband.  He is 23 now so I assume he isn’t still traumatized. 

[Rosie_0801]

Put a sign on your door saying "I taught you to knock for a reason."

[katilac]

"People do personal and private things in their bedroom, and that's why I tell you to always knock." 

I don't think it has to go further than that, but lock that door! 

[katilac]

2 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Put a sign on your door saying "I taught you to knock for a reason."

I always told my kids that if they dug around in my nightstand drawer, they would deserve every bit of trauma inflicted. 

Edited August 10, 2023 by katilac

[saraha]

I’m sorry about that. I would be mortified and absolutely avoid it all costs. If dh wanted to talk to him, I would be fine with that as long as I didn’t have to be there

[WildflowerMom]

I wouldn’t mention it.   He’ll definitely knock next time.   But still… use the damn lock.  Ok, I said that a little forcefully, but I walked in on my parents once because they didn’t USE THE DAMN LOCK.  I think my mom said “sorry” and nothing else, thank god.   I once heard them and omg, they were… like wild banshees.   Lord, help me.   I made a heluva lot of noise coming in late at night after that.   🤮

[Ausmumof3]

Thankfully I think the only time this happened the kids were too young to have a clue. We did have a lock but it wasn’t proof against my impulsive exuberant kids running in full tilt and leaping at it.

[Faith-manor]

My instinct is that it is now indelibly etched in his brain to never walk into a bedroom with out knocking and waiting for a response for all time, in every dimension, cross his heart, the blood oath has been made.

I think that at 14, the last thing he wants is for one of his parents to bring it up, and if you do, all he will want is to stick his fingers in his ears, and yell, "La la la la la, I can't hear you!"

 

[WildflowerMom]

This thread is exactly why we need our old emojis back.  Remember the guy who faints?   We need him now.  🤣

[WildflowerMom]

45 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Thankfully I think the only time this happened the kids were too young to have a clue. We did have a lock but it wasn’t proof against my impulsive exuberant kids running in full tilt and leaping at it.

Now that I think about it, the house I lived in growing up had door knobs that wouldn’t lock well, either.  They twisted to lock and all you had to do to unlock it from the other side was twist a couple times.  My kid could’ve definitely barged  in with a lock like that.   So locking isn’t always foolproof, I guess.     

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Put a sign on your door saying "I taught you to knock for a reason."

LOVE this.

 

[Tap]

I wouldn't bring it up. Just let it drop. I assume he knows basic reproduction, so he isn't a confused little kid who needs to be told that someone wasn't getting injured or such. I understand the embarrassment on both sides, but I don't think a conversation will make it better. 

I think most kids, see or at least hear their parents by their teen years. Really no biggie to me and honestly, probably healthy in the long run for them to realize that parents have sex lives. (Almost) Every single person on this planet was because their dad's jiz got to go on a field trip! 

[easypeasy]

😅😂 Our kids don't live here anymore and I STILL lock the door anytime I walk into the room and dh is in there, just in case things take a turn. 😂😂😂 If the door doesn't lock, wedge a dang chair beneath the doorknob. 😅

No advise - just commiseration for the trauma. I would be so purposefully NORMAL for the next week or so, he'd start wondering if he saw what he saw after all.

[Kassia]

3 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

My instinct is that it is now indelibly etched in his brain to never walk into a bedroom with out knocking and waiting for a response for all time, in every dimension, cross his heart, the blood oath has been made.

I think that at 14, the last thing he wants is for one of his parents to bring it up, and if you do, all he will want is to stick his fingers in his ears, and yell, "La la la la la, I can't hear you!"

 

This is exactly what I was thinking.

[Hannah]

No need to bring it up again (cough) or discuss anything.  He's going to knock next time.  Or avoid your room until he moves out!!

 

[KidsHappen]

I apologized for forgetting to lock the door and I think no one in the family ever came into my room again without knocking, well until the grandkids came along. Now I regularly wake up with a kid's face practically touching mine sometimes with them yelling grandma and practically giving me a heart attack. That's because I am a day sleeper and when my hubby goes out of the room in the morning he sometimes forgets to lock the door. By the way, we made it all the way til the youngest was about eight before that happened. She was much better BC than her sisters which is probably why she was the last one.

 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

7 hours ago, katilac said:

I always told my kids that if they dug around in my nightstand drawer, they would deserve every bit of trauma inflicted. 

My youngest did. 
he thought he found a neck massager that his friends at school would like.

He’s homeschooled now.

[Carrie12345]

We added a chain lock to our old bedroom. No one over toddler age ever came in at the worst moment, but bad enough.   
But after toddlerhood, knocking was instilled on ALL bedroom doors as a family value. Our current locks are easily undone from outside. My kids get 2 knocks, and if they haven’t gotten their butts up to open the door, I announce that I’m coming in!

Anyway, I would probably make a point to say that no one barges into anyone’s bedroom without warning from now on and just leave it at that.

[JustEm]

I had so many friends growing up that were convinced their parents no longer had sex and seemed quite dramatized just by the thought of it that as an adult I've just made it a non-issue in my head. No one has ever walked in on us but if they did I'd really just explain that that's why you knock before entering someone's bedroom. I'd also likely ask if they had any questions.

I'm positive my kids have heard us and the older kids are old enough to know that is what we're doing in our room if the door is locked. It just doesn't seem necessary to fret about any of that.

I will say that as adults all my siblings were talking about hearing our parents and my mom was mortified. We laughed and questioned if she really thought they were being quiet. 

 

[freesia]

This would be why even when the kids are out of the house, dh locks house doors and bedroom doors. He is really extreme, but we’ve never been interrupted lol

[Condessa]

Well, we discussed it when it happened here.  We do have door locks, but it turns out that they are very easy to pop open from the outside, and dd was excited to tell us something so she didn’t wait to knock and have us walk to the door to answer.  Now she knocks.

[Jaybee]

8 hours ago, easypeasy said:

I would be so purposefully NORMAL for the next week or so, he'd start wondering if he saw what he saw after all.

Gaslighting at it's finest!

[alisoncooks]

Oof, 14. That’s awful, lol. No suggestions - I’m just mortified for you. I hope y’all were at least covered, for the kid’s sake. 😂😱

Edited August 10, 2023 by alisoncooks

[zimom]

Growing up, our house was known to be the hang out.   My friends would regularly just walk right in looking for me, no matter the time.   I had one friend, quite the character, that still reminds me of the time he walked in on my parents 🤣     So nope, none of us kids walked in on our parents but one of my best friends did!  

[Elizabeth86]

I vote 3

[rebcoola]

My kids haven't walked in but they can definitely hear us.  I just tell them to put on headphones and that they're lucky to have parents with a healthy relationship 🤣

[JustEm]

29 minutes ago, zimom said:

Growing up, our house was known to be the hang out.   My friends would regularly just walk right in looking for me, no matter the time.   I had one friend, quite the character, that still reminds me of the time he walked in on my parents 🤣     So nope, none of us kids walked in on our parents but one of my best friends did!  

I had a friend who was always at our house hanging out. And one day we were using the computers in a room that shared a wall with my parents room.  She looks at me and asks what that noise is 🤣 I responded by handing her a pair of headphones to plug into the computer she was using.  She was one of the people who were convinced her parents didn't do it anymore and hadn't in years.  She thought it was so weird and gross that my parents still did. All I could say to her astonishment at the thought was, ' I'm the youngest of 9, how do you think that happens?'  Later that year she was looking for something in her parents room and we found condoms in their nightstand and she was mortified.  I just laughed and laughed and laughed. We were probably 15 when all this happened.

Edited August 10, 2023 by hjffkj

[Terabith]

Our bedroom doesn't even have a door!  (We converted a family room into our bedroom, and the doorway is a non standard size.  There's a dining room that's way too small to have even a small table and chairs in it since it's also the passageway to the rest of the house that we use as a library that does have a door, so we will close that door if we want privacy, but there's another entrance off the kitchen that doesn't have a door.). We're really good about listening for our kids moving around, but our youngest coslept with us, either in our bed or in a bed next to ours, till she was 11, so honestly, I'm quite sure that she woke up a time or two then.  It happens.  I think the reasonable thing to do, assuming it's not a small child who is confused or worried about what they saw, is to just never bring it up.  It happens.  It's a part of life, and it's healthy for kids to know their parents have sex lives.  

 

[SKL]

Good morning dear!  Is there anything we need to review about house rules?  Knocking for instance?  Or you're good on that ....

[Elizabeth86]

21 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Our bedroom doesn't even have a door!  (We converted a family room into our bedroom, and the doorway is a non standard size.  There's a dining room that's way too small to have even a small table and chairs in it since it's also the passageway to the rest of the house that we use as a library that does have a door, so we will close that door if we want privacy, but there's another entrance off the kitchen that doesn't have a door.). We're really good about listening for our kids moving around, but our youngest coslept with us, either in our bed or in a bed next to ours, till she was 11, so honestly, I'm quite sure that she woke up a time or two then.  It happens.  I think the reasonable thing to do, assuming it's not a small child who is confused or worried about what they saw, is to just never bring it up.  It happens.  It's a part of life, and it's healthy for kids to know their parents have sex lives.  

 

Good to know. We often have coslept too, but past the baby stage usually I’m in their bed. I think our baby #5 is going to be our roommate for a long time because that’s the best option with space and all. pretty sure this was normal life until VERY recent times.

[Terabith]

18 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Good to know. We often have coslept too, but past the baby stage usually I’m in their bed. I think our baby #5 is going to be our roommate for a long time because that’s the best option with space and all. pretty sure this was normal life until VERY recent times.

Yeah, my youngest had bad anxiety and was a terrible sleeper.  My oldest required absolute blackness and silence to sleep, and either of those things would lead my younger one to have panic attacks, so the two of them sharing seemed like a bad idea.  We had a room in the basement we could have used as a bedroom, but neither kid wanted to be on a different floor from us, and then a family friend moved in and stayed for seven years.  So youngest sharing our room seemed logical.  She had her own bed but she didn’t use it that often.  

[BusyMom5]

My husband always says better that they know you make love than to have them hear you fighting! 

I would ignore that it ever happened. 

[KidsHappen]

8 hours ago, hjffkj said:

I had so many friends growing up that were convinced their parents no longer had sex and seemed quite dramatized just by the thought of it that as an adult I've just made it a non-issue in my head. No one has ever walked in on us but if they did I'd really just explain that that's why you knock before entering someone's bedroom. I'd also likely ask if they had any questions.

I'm positive my kids have heard us and the older kids are old enough to know that is what we're doing in our room if the door is locked. It just doesn't seem necessary to fret about any of that.

I will say that as adults all my siblings were talking about hearing our parents and my mom was mortified. We laughed and questioned if she really thought they were being quiet. 

 

Yeah, since adulthood all of my girls have informed me that we make a lot of noise which I was not aware of but I have always felt it is healthy for kids to know that their parents have sex. We have a very open household when it comes to discussing things and my girls have always felt comfortable coming to me with questions, concerns and just general talk about these kinds of things. I know way more about their sex lives that I would have ever thought possible. And recently even my oldest grandson has started asking me questions.

As a matter of fact, my oldest and her hubby were just busted for the first time a few months ago. Their six year old still sleeps with them so they sometime sneak out of the bed at night and make use of the bathroom, closet or laundry room. Well one night she woke up and went looking for them and then chewed them out for their audacity and proceeded to tell the rest of the family about their escapades. It is a good thing that we take these kinds of things in stride.

[ktgrok]

20 hours ago, katilac said:

I always told my kids that if they dug around in my nightstand drawer, they would deserve every bit of trauma inflicted. 

This happened with my oldest. He VERY quickly shut the drawer and pretended he saw nothing. I pretended there was nothing to see. Pretty sure we both were traumatized. 

[Elizabeth86]

45 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

This happened with my oldest. He VERY quickly shut the drawer and pretended he saw nothing. I pretended there was nothing to see. Pretty sure we both were traumatized. 

This happened to my dh in fairly recent years. 😳

[GoVanGogh]

My parents divorced with my tag-along sibling was a toddler. One of our parents didn’t date for years afterward, then they were set up on a blind date and things moved really fast and said tag-along sibling didn’t know all of this. Tag-along sibling dropped by this parent’s house one day to tell them they were were expecting a baby. And walked in on said parent and their blind date, fully n@ked and doing the deed, in the living room. We still give this sibling a hard time about how they met their future step-parent. 

[wisdomandtreasures]

Skip town, change your name, dye your hair, go scorched-earth on everything your wake. 😄 

[Ginevra]

Oh my! 
 

But what I really want to know was if there was any “calculator math” going on or was it all long division by hand? 😄😄😄

 

[dirty ethel rackham]

5 minutes ago, Ginevra said:

Oh my! 
 

But what I really want to know was if there was any “calculator math” going on or was it all long division by hand? 😄😄😄

 

OMG!!  "Calculator math!!""  🤣🤣 Best euphemism ever!! 

Our bedroom door does not shut all the way (older house with some settling.) But it makes a noise when you have to shove it open. Dh and I learned to be very quiet (like not on the bed since it might make noise.) He has this terrible fear of anyone hearing us. If any of our kids saw or heard anything, they've never mentioned it.  Our youngest would often crawl into bed with us and I wouldn't notice until my back was killing me.  I'm surprised she never walked in on us.  My middle child was (is) a terrible sleeper and I wouldn't be surprised if she heard things despite dh's almost pathological need to be very very quiet.  

[kbutton]

48 minutes ago, Ginevra said:

Oh my! 
 

But what I really want to know was if there was any “calculator math” going on or was it all long division by hand? 😄😄😄

 

Or stunt panties, lol! (Don’t answer that!)

[easypeasy]

13 hours ago, Jaybee said:

Gaslighting at it's finest!

Oh, abso-freakin-lutely in this case 😂😂😂

with that said, my relationship with my own much-more-extroverted kids would likely have my kid telling ME the next morning, “Before you say anything - there’s no need to talk about it - ever. I’m good.”  There is no doubt I’d be more traumatized than my kid. They’re all bizarrely pragmatic about this kind of thing.