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PeterPan

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Everything posted by PeterPan

  1. PeterPan

    nm

    Uh no. She's 18 and it's legal in that country. It's the transition from being a kid to an adult. You have to decide how to make that transition, but no complete kid-level control is not appropriate. You're telling her that you're an adult and she's not, when that's really not the case anymore. I was going to ask if you had thought about this. Yeah, the eye-opening part is hard. It sounds like your concerns over her potential to be abusing it are the biggest issue and everything else is you wrangling with how to protect her. You need to get really honest really fast.
  2. Yes, I think the panoramic moonroof is the same as a sunroom. I think the front part above the driver is probably functional and then the back part over the 2nd row is fixed.
  3. This is a little more insidious. It's a NYTimes article suggesting there are no safety standards for them and that they increase the risk of ejection during rollovers. Oh my. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/22/business/car-sunroof-safety.html And then an article on exploding/shattering glass. https://www.chicagotribune.com/autos/sc-auto-cover-0222-exploding-sunroofs-20180220-story.html https://www.consumerreports.org/car-safety/laminated-glass-reduce-risk-exploding-sunroofs/ This article says GM is using tempered glass, so I guess it's a definite no. Well that takes care of that. Foo, it seemed like a lovely idea. But it might explain why I literally couldn't find the tripped out version with the moonroof. It was just really conspicuous, because I found so many models around our state with these features but none of them had the moonroofs.
  4. Ok, this article seems pretty persuasive on the don't do it camp, lol. He thinks the only reason to have one is to look for traffic helicopters, lol. https://www.thedrive.com/opinion/4193/8-reasons-why-you-should-never-get-a-sunroof
  5. PeterPan

    nm

    Yup. Remember, in the US, in most states you as a parent can give her alcohol in your own home AND she could have been ordering alcohol in restaurants when you were present. Even US law is not complete abstention till 21.
  6. PeterPan

    nm

    Are you ok with social drinking for legal adults? Like do you social drink? Then I would teach her your standards for that (how you sort through the amount, type, frequency, etc.) yourself. If you do not drink, then I would explain to her why. As for enforcing it, that gets more interesting. My dd sounds like she's about the age of yours, as mine just turned 20. My dd has a really big thing right now about not being treated like a kid, so I think it's not so much an "enforce" in a country where that isn't the law. The back at college thing, it's against the law, I would flat out require that or pull all funds, end of discussion. That's my opinion but I'm a complete tea totaler and am not going to pay for that. Everything my dd has (tuition, spending money, etc.) is of me and through me, therefore she is not acting as an adult to make those decisions, therefore I have a say and will say. But my two cents, having said all that, is that *in a country where it's legal* I would probably sit down and have a really mature discussion. Like I said, my dd SO WANTS to be treated like an adult right now. I would probably say you know here, for a few weeks during this visit, you have that legal option. I want to help you think through it and hear what you're thinking and tell you might concerns so that you can tell me what you're thinking about those issues. And I would probably look the other way and not provide any money for it, withdraw all funds or decrease funds I had been planning to give her equivalent to anything she chose to spend on it, and keep a close eye for her safety. To me, and like I said I'm a complete total abstainer, I don't think the issue is whether she's drinking 1 or 2 drinks on a trip to another country. That's experimenting. The question is whether more was going on with that college exposure, whether her body is going down a path, whether it's getting to be too much. That's what I would be concerned about. I'd that's a really sad discussion to have to have, because if it has gone too far what is she going to say? You'd like her to get to the conclusion that it would be good to take a break, but you'd like her to get there on her own. Ideally. And if she seems dependent, I'd be cutting it off faster than fast. I mean, this shouldn't even be an issue. Do others in your circle drink? Is she *offending* people by choosing to do this? That could be an argument too. Not a really strong one, but still. It adds to the "let's take a break, I'm worried about you" discussion. I'll say this. When my dd is away at college, she gets kind of emotionally distant. She's so wrapped up in her friends, etc. It takes her a while to get back to oh I have parents, the money did not just appear, and get really emotionally reconnected. I don't know where your dd is in that. I'm just saying sometimes it takes TIME and sometimes that TIME (like hours and hours and hours, some late nights) is the thing that flips her over to listening again. It's like she forgets who she's supposed to listen to and thinks her peers are really great counselors, lol.
  7. Well we have a tiny moonroof on our newer-ish vehicle (10 years old) as it just came that way. And you're right, I never open it for light let alone air. Now my dh does a LOT and really likes it, lol. We have 6 months of full winter here, 3 months of drab basically winter, and 3 months of spring/summer. So I don't know what it would be like. I want to ask my ds to see if he has a take. I think there's something to how it will feel. Like it might make it feel great or it might be better to have it be cave-like, I don't know.
  8. https://www.buick.com/crossovers/regal-tourx-luxury-wagon/interior-features I think this Buick TourX is what we may go for. It's the closest thing I can get to the Subaru Outback while staying GM, sigh. And it has a really nice ride, usb ports for ds, and basically just looks like it would work. I can get easily (within an hour drive in some direction) this vehicle tripped out with the new safety features in one of the two colors we'll probably go with (white frost or rioja red with the shale interior). So it would basically look like this picture I've linked. Thing is, we have to go to more effort (like presumably having them bring in?) the versions of each with the moon roofs. I've found them, and you can see by the pic it's a really crazy stunning thing. Do you LIKE your moon roof? Is a moon roof hot? If we go to the effort, delay, pain in the butt to dealer (which means they're less inclined to drop the price), etc., will the moon roof be WORTH it? If I had it on the car locally with all the other things (those 2 safety packages), it wouldn't be a question. To get the frost white with the moon roof (and all those non-negotiable safety features) would be 2 hours each way. To get the gorgeous rioja red (which actually I don't know if it's gorgeous, but let's assume) with the moon roof and those non-negotiable safety features is almost 3 hours each way. And I *think* the car dealership would probably have it driven here and make it happen. But is it WORTH that? Will I be like wow, I'm so glad we waited, belabored, and got that panoramic, crazy long moon roof? Or will it be hot and something I don't even care about? Fwiw the dealer with the rioja red moonroof is not listing good prices. I don't know that they'll be inclined to honor the local dealer's great prices, and we're talking $9k different if they don't. Surely the local guy would get the price down? On the white, because both dealers are listing good prices, the difference is only about $1,100, which is the normal cost of the moon roof. Surely the far away red dealer would come down to a sane price? Ooo, I just realized because the one dealer with the red (no moonroof) is 1 hour from us, they're less than 2 hours from the red WITH moonroof place, hmm. So they would probably go get that, no questions asked boom. So then it's literally just whether we want to push for that or not, and I don't have an experience to know. So what does the hive say. Panoramic moon roof or skip? Hot/horrible or hip/happy?
  9. If you want a perkier thought, I'm kinda really into this song right now. I really like the "I wanna try even though I could fail." I seem to be good at the failing part, but I keep trying. And if you've already heard this song, then laugh at my being late to the party. https://www.amazon.com/Try-Everything/dp/B01BE5TNWA
  10. I suspect there are different tolerances for what people want with repairs. I took it to mean before you get a frequency of repairs that are like car payments. I was told that in college, like drive it till it dies, just repair it, and my dh really doesn't see it that way. And I was willing to push it till the car left me in a dangerous situation with zero warning. I guess it matters what you're driving in. I have to drive pretty significant amounts now and the traffic is fast. My car can't be stranding me repeatedly. I literally missed important therapy visits because of it. I suspect if we had driven the car this aggressively the first 10 years (before ds was born) we would have hit much higher mileage. I think we barely were at 100,000, only maybe 80k, when he was born 10 years ago. Now I have an additional 100k on that vehicle *and* another 100k on another big SUV we keep for the winter on our hills. So that's 200,000 in 10 years, where before we were averaging 8k a year even with trips to visit my mother, etc. That's a huge jump. So if I play with the math, it's probable we'll stay at least 15k a year till ds is 18, and we may actually be closer to 20k as we're doing more trips. If I have to enroll him, that would bump our mileage even higher, way way way higher. So 20kX8 means I'm going to completely wear out whatever I buy in the next 8-10 years probably. And that after cars lasting me 20k. So if the car has more life, yeah it might go longer because the body would be young enough to go longer with some repairs. And we still have the SUV. But yeah, the longer lifespan could actually benefit us on *this* car because we'd be driving so much. It's a lot to think about, but you're right by the math it's a 10 year decision, not a 20.
  11. A friend was just telling me to go look at the Avalon. I think the complication is that the nearest Subaru dealer is 40 minutes away, while the Toyota, GM, Honda, etc. are 5-10. See I had this attitude about our current car, a 1999 DeVille that I was willing to drive into the ground. Thing is, at 20 years old it's literally just falling apart from age. The fabric came down from the ceiling and things are just progressively wearing out. It left me on the side of the road when our traffic is 70-85 mph. It's just exceptionally dangerous at this point and I can't do that. I also don't want to plan on that again. I didn't mind when the gas gauge went out or even the radiator. But the mysterious stopping that left me on the side of the road, I'm just done with it. So I'm thinking we don't drive enough to wear out the vehicle before it ages out. Well by the math we should, but it just varies. Once we had ds our driving picked up considerably, going this therapies. Maybe I can hit the Toyota dealer today, and I think the local GM dealer was going to bring in the TourX wagon for dh to see. I saw it almost an hour away in the big city. Ds still tears up vehicles (and property and people) when he gets angry, so we have this quandry of whether to go with a new vehicle or something used or something in the middle. We don't really have time/energy for repairs, so we just need it to work. That's why I was thinking a mid-price new vehicle like that TourX wagon or a used nicer vehicle. But I'm kinda stupid picky or spoiled. Well that's not true, I get horrible headaches from noisy cars and I get worn out with road fatigue. So some of the vehicles I liked in theory (small crossovers) just aren't going to work. I wanted to like the Subaru Forester but that would be a mistake for me. That Avalon could work if it's comfortable. I like how the TourX, the Outback, etc. feel when you sit, a little more up.
  12. Thanks ladies!! I'm still trying to get him to at least go LOOK at the Subarus. We'll see. Drove a much more $$ car today (Cadillac XT4) and I was like yeah, but the Subaru Outback rides better, has better safety features, and is almost half the price, lol.
  13. Bingo. And it can vary. There are some districts (a rich one near ours) where they very quietly pull strugglers out and do perpetual RTI. No IEPs, cuz in that district it's not fashionable or cooth to give IEPs. But the kids get actual OG from an actual, experienced, certified person, lucky dogs. In our district you can get an IEP at the drop of a dime comparatively but give it up on anyone being certified in anything evidence-based. So schools vary, but just in general that's just the reality when you want "free" intervention. It's going to be rationed out, imagine that, and they're going to set some arbitrary numbers and have to go to sleep at night knowing there are lots of kids who didn't make that cut. It's why CUT SCORES for tests and the publisher publishing them rather than allowing the schools to use arbitrary lines, are actually a big deal. The real gaslighting is with the ps workers who start off knowing these kids needed intervention and being told by their coor etc. to shut up, move on, they didn't have the numbers. Do that long enough and they all start to sound like parrots (this is the scores, he'll get services in the classroom, push-in is fine, blah blah). It's all money, how much they can do with what they've got. It's money on intervention and deciding why they use these intervention approaches with zero evidence-base, zero basis on anything that actually works for dyslexia, and are instead doing whole language derived mess by fancier names. It's always always money. Welcome to the system. So yes, pull her out, believe she has potential, believe you haven't seen the potential yet, believe you aren't writing her off and saying you've hit walls till you actually see the walls.
  14. Sorry, I was on my phone earlier and was being brief, couldn't edit easily, blah blah. YOU have to believe in your kid and look at your kid and know who she is. They're being their usual recalcitrant, big system, shut up and stop being a pain selves. There only ARE two numbers really to the IQ. I mean you've got the processing speed and now with the newest WISC that fluid reasoning, but those get dropped for the GAI. It's not like woo-woo we've got 15 numbers and you're cherry-picking one. And I'm just saying with only a few numbers contributing (and most getting dropped for a GAI), you can't IGNORE or undercut one good number because another was affected by an SLD. Your child is as bright as her strongest numbers and ask weak as her weakest. THAT is the truth. And if you teach her like she's ONLY the sum of her weakest parts, you're going to frustrate the tar out of her and discourage her. So you have to believe in the internal strengths and capabilities that you've seen when you work with her, things that are hinted at in the numbers. IQ scores change WILDLY on kids with SLDs. We've had kids with swings of 30-50 points here on this board. For my ds I was told the testing around 6, before the SLDs made him really differentiate from his peers, would be the most accurate. Other people have said the opposite, that changing psychs, starting ADHD meds, whatever changed the scores. These are not set in stone things. My ds had a round this time that dropped 30 points. Is my ds now NOT the same gifted IQ dc he was 4 years ago, even though multiple, multiple psychs looked at those scores and was like yup, gifted??? You can look at how she FUNCTIONS and teach to how she FUNCTIONS. You appeal to her brightest side and the needs that brings to be creative, to be novel, to think, whatever, AND you work with her weaker side and her need for intervention and explicit instruction. Why are we on this? I've forgotten. In the ps they would not have *one* teacher teach this dc. They would do intervention with an IS and regular classroom instruction with a K-8 teacher. Even my ds now has mainstream classroom in his IEP, which is dumb dumb dumb and would cause problems, but we don't talk about that. So when we homeschool, we need that *mindset* kwim? We're going to have to summon our multiple personality disorders and be both, lol.
  15. Hallelujah. Our first ps psych is also out. Yup. And I think when they use their own kids as the model of typical you're not supposed to then say "Oh, I didn't know your dc had SN as well." Snort.
  16. For math, what the ps will do is specialized instruction plus classroom instruction. If you're teaching her yourself, it's your call how to do that regular instruction kind of component. I use Evan Moor workbooks for word problems, a series from Carson Dellosa, Tang math, a variety of things. So I teach the skill with Ronit Bird and then I apply it with a variety of materials to make sure he can use it lots of ways. My ds has ASD, so he doesn't generalize well, meaning he needs to do it again and again in lots of settings to make sure it really clicks. Just for the intervention component, Ronit Bird is the bees' knees, but she's assuming you're using it alongside regular classroom methodology.
  17. Fwiw, the mattresses are latex, not springs and they absorb the movement of the boat. And these boats are super computer controlled and stabilized. My mother gets sick on almost any ride, even Pandora Flight of Passage at Disney, and she was ok on the cruise with the water relatively calm. A bad hurricaine season storm would have gotten her, but just for more moderate she was fine. And she's really, really seriously sensitive, like go to bed with migraines, get medicine from the doctor and be sick for days sensitive.
  18. This is why people homeschool. And don’t believe their “average” stuff. Look at the scores yourself. Gifted IQ with average doesn’t = gifted output
  19. Sounds like it. It also seems, at the surface, to be a good score. Did they give you scaled scores for any of that? Usually those subtest scores are converted to scaled scores for this very reason. You have no way to interpret them otherwise to know if they're significant. So is 4/7 on semantics significant for her age? Can't tell without a scaled score. The other thing to remember is the *reason* the CELF struggles is because it provides models and gives them the answers as multiple choice. So when you pair "poor written expression" on the achievement testing with "poor semantics and sentence assembly" from the CELF (which it isn't exactly saying poor, but if it's maybe a relative weakness), then you'd start to see a pattern there. It would at least be the kinds of questions you'd ask. You want to know *why* the writing is struggling. I'm not an SLP, but I play one on tv. Haha, just joking. I'm totally hack, but when you look on Linguisystems, here's what you get for semantics. https://www.linguisystems.com/Products/CategoryCenter/OLA!SEM/Semantics_Concepts_Vocabulary_and_Word_Finding.aspx So it's saying semantics=concepts, vocabulary, word finding. And vocabulary does NOT mean what you think it does. It's not just does she know a word but can she talk about how it relates to other words. When you do this (talking about the parts of things, explaining attributes of things, talking about how things group in categories or are opposites or are not in categories, etc.), you're organizing the brain for word retrieval and forming the linguistic basis for what becomes expository writing. It's also the basis for what you cover in grammar as verbs (functions), adjectives (attributes), etc. So then you'll see SLPs using a tool like EET (google it) because they're trying to build the LANGUAGE needed to WRITE. Story Grammar Marker hits on it other ways that aren't exactly the same but are there. Verbalizing/Visualizing (another popular program) does it. And some kids just need a dab and they take off. Some kids have full blown DLD and really benefit from digging in there. Her reading comprehension was a little below IQ. It's not terribly discrepant, but still it's something you can watch. That's another place language shows up. How is she with narrating what she reads? Yeah, I'm not a great lover of the CELF. With models, multiple choice, and brief numbers of questions, you're just left drawing important conclusions from something that is more of a screener. You might just think about how she is in real life. If she watches her favorite movie or tv show, can she tell you about it? If she reads a book, can she tell you about it? Are her narratives covering the full plot of the story, including character development, a problem, actions, a conclusion, and some consequences/feelings/wrap-up? You're the person with the most data on her language, so you're in the best position to know what's happening, better than these brief tools will be. So anyways, back to the scores. They should have given you scaled scores so you could tell what was significant. Raw scores don't really tell you much, because you don't what would be age-appropriate.
  20. That seems to fit with what people here are saying. It doesn't seem like they're lasting particularly longer than my big label american car. (20 years, 185k miles)
  21. A scaled score has a mean of 10 and usually standard deviations of 3, so no it's not a scaled score. If it's a standard score, the mean is 100 and typically has standard deviations of 10-15. So it's actually really important to figure out what that number was, whether it was a percentage or a standard score or what, because it shows they're shooting the wind or being less than helpful/accurate/reasonable in how they're interpreting it. I see no scenario where a "22" is good unless it's a raw score on a subtest.
  22. That may explain the odd comments I'm hearing over and over about remembering to do maintenance. My dh puts synthetic oil in our vehicles and they just work.
  23. People get patches from their doctor. The cruise we took this winter to the Caribbean was very calm but *many* people had those patches. My mother got sick, took some medication (you can get it otc at the grocery) and recovered. I took ginger capsules 3X a day and was fine, no issues at all. Do you get sick in cars or with other motion? I think they other thing they say for cruising Alaska is to start at Vancouver and not be on the open sea if you want it calmer.
  24. Fwiw I was teased in high school in our mostly black high school where I was the only white girl in the class, and it really messed with my head. (They told me I was ugly, and since I had acne and was sort of an ugly duckling I believed it.) Took me a long time to figure out lots of people look ok, that only a few people are stunningly beautiful, and that sort of adequate can be pretty because I'm a nice person. But maybe to them it was harmless and to me it was what I just took in and believed. You might ask flat up if they have scholarships or other funding. Tell them your FSA is maxed out and you can't make it happen till fall and just see. These universities have so many donations, they may have a way. If they have those funds, that's what they're for, to help make the evals happen.
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