Help me decide how I react (job related, long)

[Garga]

They are such jerks. I can’t even think what else to write. I’m sitting here spluttering in my brain trying to think of the right words to describe what colossal jerks they are.

Edited August 25, 2022 by Garga

[Garga]

I mean, what was up with all that NONSENSE about making you drive home to interview online? That was absolute ridiculousness.

And then having to pretend you don’t know each other? What was all that? More nonsense that was downright insulting.

And they hired you to do a certain job and then stuck you at the front desk. And they’ve been all, “Oh, you can’t move to the other job because we neeeed you at the front desk and no one else will do it cry cry.” 

And what are they going to do when you quit, because you will be quitting. Then there won’t be anyone to work their stupid front desk.

They did NOT do good by you. I’m so angry on your behalf.

Edited August 25, 2022 by Garga

[KungFuPanda]

Move on. Give zero notice. Jerks. 

[Melissa in Australia]

Hugs

[Guest]

Ditto to everything @Garga said. They took advantage of you from the word go. That crazy hoop-jumping for an internal interview? Total nonsense! Internal movement happens *everywhere*; it’s one of the best reasons to be in a large office - lots of opportunity for job shifting and promotion. 
I like the idea of the sympathy card. Unless I would starve without them I would immediately tell them to answer their own damn phones. 
PS, I hate reception, too. It constantly interrupts my “brain” work and half the calls are pure idiocy. Then I have to find my place again in what I was doing *before* the lady called to inquire if she could sue her dog groomer for nicking a dog’s toenail. 

[AngieC]

I’m so sorry. I barely post here and I’ve been anxiously watching for an update since your last interview.

I truly hope you are in a position where you can quickly resign and move onto a job that appreciates your abilities and dedication.

[Harriet Vane]

32 minutes ago, Garga said:

I mean, what was up with all that NONSENSE about making you drive home to interview online? That was absolute ridiculousness.

And then having to pretend you don’t know each other? What was all that? More nonsense that was downright insulting.

And they hired you to do a certain job and then stuck you at the front desk. And they’ve been all, “Oh, you can’t move to the other job because we neeeed you at the front desk and no one else will do it cry cry.” 

And what are they going to do when you quit, because you will be quitting. Then there won’t be anyone to work their stupid front desk.

The did NOT do good by you. I’m so angry on your behalf.

Yeah. What she said. Grrr...

[Harriet Vane]

Seriously consider grabbing your personal items from the office and leaving. Just leave. Send a resignation email as your final act. Keep it short. No talking it through or explaining--that just invites a lot of "discussion" (read: drama).

[Jaybee]

Just now, Harriet Vane said:

Seriously consider grabbing your personal items from the office and leaving. Just leave. Send a resignation email as your final act. Keep it short. No talking it through or explaining--that just invites a lot of "discussion" (read: drama).

I really really hope you can do this. They do not deserve any notice. They deserve to be left in the lurch (and I am the type who gave extra notice when I left my job so I could help them over a hump and train their next person). I am so so sorry, and I am so mad on your behalf. That behavior was totally uncalled for. The whole thing. Ridiculous.

[itsheresomewhere]

I am sure their is a company near you who would love to have someone with your skills.  Make up your resignation letter and don’t feel bad about it. 

[YaelAldrich]

Wow, do you have sick leave? I bet you're feeling awfully ill right now. Maybe a severe headache or chills.

You can write your resignation letter while you recover. 

Edited August 25, 2022 by YaelAldrich
Autocorrect is a poop

[mommyoffive]

Damn .  I was thinking of you this week and wanted to hear what happened.  I am so sorry.  Bullshit is right.  I hope you find something else really soon.

[BusyMom5]

I am so sorry- I hope you had your resignation letter ready!   I think the entire situation is unprofessional. 

[Forget-Me-Not]

I’m so sorry. I was really hoping they would do the right thing. 

[Catwoman]

Wow, I am so disgusted on your behalf. 

I hope you can just quit. No notice. Maybe you can ask them all to come into a room and you can pretend not to know them when you tell them where they can stick their job.

I am so, so, so very sorry. 

[Shoeless]

Wow. This is awful. Like, there was absolutely no reason for them to do this other than they are incompetent jerks.

I really hope you can quit immediately, too.  They've demonstrated they do not appreciate or respect you.

[AbcdeDooDah]

I’m so sorry. That just stinks.

New hire will be stuck at the front desk now.

 

[TechWife]

Ugh. I’m sorry. You deserve better & im hopeful you will find a better opportunity at another company soon. 

[katilac]

I wouldn't immediately leave, even though they deserve it, simply bc it is always easier to find a job when you already have a job. Because work is like a demented romantic comedy. 

[Moonhawk]

So, he told me that I did great on the interview, really great, but it came down to experience. The other candidate has 8 years of experience in the field and they decided that would be really helpful to the department. And apologized for the decision taking so long, it was just a really difficult decision to make.

The new person starts October 4. 

I asked about their plans for front desk. He said in after the new person is settled in, maybe after a couple months, we can discuss as a team if we need a 4th person. There is currently a budget and an unfilled position on the official department roster still. But the earliest, earliest, they'd start to look for someone is November, and it would more likely be December/January. (And my inner voice says, "if they even do...") 

I said, "You know how I feel about front desk." He said yes. I repeated, "you know how I feel about front desk." He said yes. But that the new person would cover the front desk 3 hours/day -- 1 for my lunch, 2 for me to focus on other projects -- until we could get a fourth. I said, "you know how I feel about front desk." He didn't have an answer that time. I let it be quiet for a bit, then I told him I'd have to process the news about the front desk. 

He did say that he hoped this didn't turn me off from the field as a whole. That a lot of people do 1-2 years in the department, then leave, and some come back. That he did that himself, even. He sees that I would be successful as a Boss, or Second Boss. And he hopes that, if I like it, that I stick with it.

That was the weirdest part of the convo, because it seemed like he was acknowledging I might leave? But everything else was about how it was going to work out and how I'm still a big part of the the vision for the department. And even if I wasn't as directly involved in decisions and planning like I would have been as Second (and how he discussed some of the plans in the 1:1 part of the interview) he still wants me to at least be listening on the conversations so I will be learning.

And that once the new person is settled in, hopefully it would open us up to have more time for training, both going to trainings and me working with him/new person. I replied that with the two of us, we're both over capacity, and with a third we still may be, and I'd be surprised if it actually freed up any time for me to focus on that. He kinda agreed with that, saying something like yes it seems there's always more to do. 

[eta] I told him what got me in the door in the first place was the learning and opportunity for advancement. It wasn't the pay (and I made a laugh), it was the learning. And he knows how I feel about the front desk.

He asked if I had any more questions, I said not for right now but I'll probably ambush him with more later. He said that wouldn't be a problem, whenever I needed anything I should just ask. 

Tomorrow is his birthday so I am holding off any decisions until Friday.

So, next move.

I am focusing on three main options for what to do. 

1) Hand in 2 week notice on Friday, with or without an explanation that could potentially still allow me to get references from here. Boss and Big Boss would be amazing references, even in unrelated fields, their organization/titles carry weight.

2) Ask for a raise + different promotion. He said they have the budget for a 4th, and they aren't using it, and frankly I'm not convinced they will, so why not give more to me, with a shiny new title, as an incentive to stay? Sure I'd stay doing something I don't like up front, but I could be more picky about finding a next job and it will make my resume and bank account better during the hunt, at least.

3) Wait until I get a new job lined up, hand in 2 week notice then. Do so in a way to save reference possibility down the line. 

[eta 4) quit no notice. emotionally this is where I am at right now but I also realize that I am angry and it may not be the best choice, even if it would feel the most satisfying.]

I don't know what I'll do yet, but I have 24 hours to decide. Obviously each choice has its own set of details and choices within it -- how aggressive to be, how conciliatory, how much explanation, etc, just depending on what I want to get out of it. I just need to figure out what is the best ending to this for me?

Thank you everyone for your support. I haven't cried yet but it's also 4 hours past my bedtime and I'm afraid to go to bed because I know the emotions are going to hit once I am alone in the dark, and I'm already so exhausted and don't want to deal with it. But it will be ok. 

Edited August 25, 2022 by Moonhawk

[madteaparty]

5 hours ago, katilac said:

I wouldn't immediately leave, even though they deserve it, simply bc it is always easier to find a job when you already have a job. Because work is like a demented romantic comedy. 

Yeah this. Though I have rage-quit before so I don’t follow my own advice 

[itsheresomewhere]

So they haven’t learned yet that sometimes having more experience doesn’t mean a better employee over one who has been there and knows how they do it.  
 

 I  am with your inner voice and they will never hire someone for the front desk.   
 

A lot can happen between now and October.  Part of me would like the other person to get another offer someone and leave this company in a bind.  

[Wheres Toto]

I wouldn't go with option 2 because they'll probably just use it as a way to promise you something for the future but never get around to actually doing it (talking about freeing up time for training seemed like it could be a little bit of that, Sure of course there's still a chance for advancement in the future some day).  

If I could afford it, I'd probably give two weeks notice right away.   It will have the most impact and I would absolutely be unwilling to train the new person in a job that should have been mine.  But I don't see a way out of doing at least some of the training unless I just wasn't there to do it. 

[elegantlion]

If it were me, I'd hand in my two weeks notice today. Forget the birthday, that has nothing to do with business, not really. They've already shown themselves to break promises, so I would not hinge your decision on any promises they are making. They've baited and switched you once already. 

Again, I am so sorry. 

[AngieC]

As long as it were financially feasible, I would absolutely hand in my two weeks notice immediately and move on.

Since they’re not even pretending they will quickly move you from the front desk, I’m assuming they realize there is a good chance you will resign and are okay with that.

I wouldn’t do anything that could result in a negative reference.

[Scarlett]

I am impressed with how rational and calm you are.  Unless it will devastate your finances, I would turn my 2 week notice  in today.  Continue to be rational and calm and simply say you will be pursuing other opportunities. 
 

So sorry.  This stinks. 

[scholastica]

I’m going to dissent and say #2, and give it a few months. If, after the first of the year, they aren’t moving towards that front desk person, start looking then. Or if the department roster changes or funding dries up. I would make it clear in another conversation that you are expecting them to add that person sooner rather than later. Good luck with your decision.

[Miss Tick]

Is the new person male? Because that would just push me, personally, over the edge here.

I vote #2, alongside of "keep looking for another job" and with a dash of "remove personal items from desk" and a sprinkle of  "work slow down" at reception.

Oooo, so frustrating!

[brehon]

I think you need to understand, truly understand on a deep level, that they have you in exactly the position they want you in. All the other words are just a wall of blather designed to string you along like they’ve been doing since the beginning. Maybe that wasn’t Original Big Boss’ plan, but it certainly has been since the regime change. I’m going to be extremely blunt — this wasn’t a hard decision for them and you were not a serious candidate for Second Boss. Please know I don’t say this as a reflection on you or your abilities. 

You won’t receive any additional training; you won’t receive any additional incentive to stay except maybe some vague and empty promises. Boss may sing the second verse of the “we’ll promote you to 4th Position just as soon as we hire a new Front Desk Person” song. This is how companies get what they want out of people, especially women. This company doesn’t care about you. Don’t care about them.

[Spryte]

You’re handling this very well.

If it doesn’t impact your finances terribly, I would lean to option 1—the two week notice—if you are confident you can do so in a way to preserve your references later. My trust in anything else materializing from that company, later, would be gone. 
 

 

[Tiberia]

Well, if we're all voting, I'd go with #3.

They have been professional on the surface, and have probably tried their best to not let this get personal with you. That is also part of the problem: they've ignored the personal part - the commitment they made to you about the desk job a long time ago. If I were you, I'd also remain professional and find another job, then give 2 weeks' notice. No drama. They'll be able to read between the lines.  

The new job will probably call them for references before they hire you, so that might be a wake-up call to the old place, but I'm guessing the current bosses will be professional and give you a good reference. 

Whatever you do, we're all behind you! I'm sorry you are going through all of this. 

Edited August 25, 2022 by Tiberia

[JustEm]

Don't allow this company to string you along. I watched that happen to my dh for years and it killed all enjoyment of a career he previously loved. So, if this is an industry you like, get out and find a better company before they crush your like for that type of work.

Put in your 2 weeks, tell the boss that you appreciate all the advice they've given you but you are ready to move on. Leave positively so those references are still options. Don't wait until the new person starts, just be done now. They do not value you as an employee and will just continue to string you along 

[QueenCat]

8 hours ago, Moonhawk said:

1) Hand in 2 week notice on Friday, with or without an explanation that could potentially still allow me to get references from here. Boss and Big Boss would be amazing references, even in unrelated fields, their organization/titles carry weight.

 

I'm Team Option 1. This is the professional way to do it, maintaining references. It also means that you won't have to work with the new person. No matter what the boss promises  you, don't forget what you were promised before. He'd probably promise anything to keep you at the front desk right now and during transition. 

[Kanin]

I'd probably go with #2. Ask for a promotion and a raise. I'd also start looking for and applying for a new job. Is the conventional wisdom still that it's better to be employed while looking for a new job, so you don't have gaps in employment history?

Sorry you were bait and switched. Ugh. It's so disheartening to realize that The Company doesn't care about you personally the way you thought they did. 

I know that I could leave my current school today and most people would be more annoyed about the inconvenience than sad about me personally not being there. 😕 

[Corraleno]

I wouldn't bother asking for a raise and promotion — the fact that they are not even considering looking for a front desk person until a few months "after the new person settles in" means they are just trying to fob you off until they know for sure that the new person will work out, so they don't end up without both you and the new hire when they finally admit they're not going to hire a front desk person and expect you to keep doing it.

The fact that the new hire doesn't start for almost 6 weeks is the one bit of good news, because it means you can start looking for a new job immediately and likely be able to leave before he/she starts. So I'd get really aggressive about looking for another job ASAP, and then give them the shortest notice you can — if you have any sick leave or PTO saved up, use that as part of the "notice" time.

Edited August 25, 2022 by Corraleno

[Ali in OR]

I'm voting #1. It's easier to find jobs in September than December. It is quite evident that they are happy to have you doing front desk. If you're not there anymore, I bet they'll suddenly be able to find someone to hire for that task. And easy enough to talk about why you left when you're in interviews for something else--your job is not what you were hired to do and you're not getting the experience and training you need.

[TechWife]

@brehon and @Ali in OR have said almost everything I would say. It’s also likely that they have acknowledged among themselves that you would resign and have a contingency plan in place. Also, have these people never heard of temp agencies? That’s how you get people to work the front desk. They apparently have unused $$ in the budget that they could use to pay agency fees if they wanted to.  If you can afford it, turn in that resignation and get ready for your new adventure. 

[Rebel]

My vote is for #1. I also don't post much, but have been checking for updates on your job situation as they sounded like they were just going to keep making unfulfilled promises. My son is in a situation where the company keeps stringing him along. When they think he is about to leave, they will throw him a bone, but never fully do what they say they are going to, and I'm afraid yours may do the same.

Good luck!

[Hannah]

I'd get out as soon as possible. The company is not looking after you and they don't deserve your loyalty. Their promises are empty.  

ETA: Whatever they offer you now is too little too late. The trust is broken.

 

 

Edited August 25, 2022 by Hannah

[fraidycat]

Such jerks!

They have shown you who they are. Believe them.

Actions speak louder than words.

Now whether you leave on Friday, or two weeks from Friday, is your choice. But if it were me, there is no way in heck you'd catch me anywhere near that office come October 4th, never mind December or January.

If you leave them in the lurch with 1 person in a 4 person department for 4-6 weeks..... sucks to be them! They deserve every bit of inconvenience and stress they get. Consequences for the choices they made.

I see only two choices. 1) Pack up and leave today or tomorrow. 
2) Give two weeks and be done no later than Sept. 9.

[Catwoman]

Another vote for option 1 -- but I wouldn't wait until Friday. Who cares if it's the boss's birthday? He certainly doesn't care about you!!! 

[Catwoman]

Just now, fraidycat said:

Such jerks!

They have shown you who they are. Believe them.

Actions speak louder than words.

Now whether you leave on Friday, or two weeks from Friday, is your choice. But if it were me, there is no way in heck you'd catch me anywhere near that office come October 4th, never mind December or January.

If you leave them in the lurch with 1 person in a 4 person department for 4-6 weeks..... sucks to be them! They deserve every bit of inconvenience and stress they get. Consequences for the choices they made.

I see only two choices. 1) Pack up and leave today or tomorrow. 
2) Give two weeks and be done no later than Sept. 9.

I agree!

If it were me, I would already be gone, but I can see giving the 2 weeks notice if she really needs a good reference. (And that's assuming they would actually give her a good reference -- they haven't been exactly honest with her up to now, so why would they start treating her well once she turned in her resignation?! I do not trust these people one bit!) 

[Starr]

Once you give notice stick with it. Don’t let them talk you out of it. It’s not going to change your reference. I’m sorry you have to go through this. 

[JustEm]

While I advised option 1, I personally would be quitting immediately, without notice. But for me it is that I would have zero interest in playing nice just to maybe get a good reference. I wouldn't assume people who treated me poorly would give me a good reference if I let graciously. They've shown they are untrustworthy so why would that change if you left.

 

[KungFuPanda]

I hope the person they hired is a dud and they realize it five minutes after @Moonhawkis gone.  I also vote no notice because when people use you and lie to you they deserve to feel some uncomfortable consequences.  Mostly, I want @Moonhawk's decision right now to be the one that best serves her a year from now.

[Jenny in Florida]

I haven't waded into the conversation, but I have been following along and hoping they would do the right thing for you. 

Having been through similar experiences (twice with the same employer), I would vote for option #3, with the slight tweak that I would make hunting for a new job the priority, putting in exactly enough effort at my job to keep it. 

As someone else said, it's easier to find a job when you are already employed, but if it were me I'd want to be out of there as soon as I could manage it, ideally before the new person starts.

I'm so sorry you're in this position. It's a sucky place to be. 

I hope you find a better, happier place to be -- where your employers appreciate you -- very quickly.

[AmandaVT]

Depending on finances and the job market in your area, I'd go with 1 or 3. (Also, if by any chance, you want to be a gym/health teacher, I will have a job for you starting next week.) They have showed you their true colors and I'm sorry.  

[Moonhawk]

The new hire is a woman, btw.

We have separate sick and personal/vacation time banks. Both of mine are currently full. Sick time is forfeited with resignation and personal time cannot be used during the last two weeks of resignation, I checked the policy this morning. But my vacation time should be paid out in full. So I think financially we are okay for me to resign before anything else in place. I’ll check all the accounts tonight though to ensure I didn’t forget something or other. 

The birthday excuse is more for my sake than his really; I want an acceptable reason to pause and strategize this; plus a resignation on a Friday feels fitting.

Considering a wombo-combo of starting off with asking for raise/promotion and then (assuming it’s a no since I’d say I’d need it in writing by Monday) switch* into giving my resignation.^ 

* I can give reasons (we are moving, i have an offer in hand, both of which are technically true since we will probably move since no job and DH wants me to help him with his business for a couple months, obviously I’d be vague on details) if it would help smooth feathers and allow me to use him as a reference. Or i can just let it be the assumed/real reason and just emphasize how much i have enjoyed working with him during my time here. 

^ Could offer 2 weeks plus (paid) overtime since that’s the only possible way I could tie up 2/3 of my loose ends, we really have been overwhelmed. They don’t like overtime so I doubt they’d take me up on the offer, though they really, really should. Could also offer 3 weeks notice with the pre-approval of 2-3 sick days during those last weeks. 

Just thinking out loud. No decision yet. I’m not saying I’d offer all or any of the options I’m mentioning here, or all the info, just kinda going through the possibilities.

I think I missed my window to rage quit and feel quite sad about that, lol. Though I guess I wouldn’t do it anyway even if it was an option still. 

[Starr]

I think I would be feeling sick now for a few days. 

[vonfirmath]

I would not say it is because you are moving. It just makes them feel like "We were right not to hire her --she already knew she was moving"  Just give your two weeks notice, tie up what you can, and move on