Who is responsible

[Elizabeth86]

Is the laundry washer supposed to check pockets or the pants wearer? Or both?

[Lady Florida.]

Any pants wearer over the age of say 10, is responsible. Adults are definitely responsible for checking their own pockets when clothes go into the hamper.

[BusyMom5]

Pants wearer!  And over 10, wash your own.

[Grace Hopper]

Someone on board here years ago used to say there were some pocketed items she’d rather find “clean and dead.”

I check pockets because I don't want my machines damaged, and I’ve retrieved things like jewelry, cash, rocks, wrappers, sharpie markers and tubes of lipstick/chapstick. But I’ve declared the right to keep what I find. Sometimes that’ll buy me a coffee. But I mostly taught my kids to do their own laundry so they’ve enjoyed the experience of losing an earring or having a Kleenex shredded through wet garments. 
 

 

[Grace Hopper]

To be specific, the responsibility to empty pockets is the garment’s  owner.

[Scarlett]

Dh Told me the other day that the magic thing that happens where his clothes are retrieved from the floor had failed.  His wallet had been tossed into the hamper. 
 

My vote is definitely the garment owner is responsible.  

[Lady Florida.]

1 minute ago, Grace Hopper said:

To be specific, the responsibility to empty pockets is the garment’s  owner.

Definitely. Ds has ADHD so I did remind him repeatedly but it was still his responsibility.

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, Scarlett said:

Dh Told me the other day that the magic thing that happens where his clothes are retrieved from the floor had failed.  His wallet had been tossed into the hamper. 
 

My vote is definitely the garment owner is responsible.  

Yep. Dh’s earphones got washed this morning.

[prairiewindmomma]

The obligation is on the pants wearer. If the pants wearer has someone kind enough to wash their clothes, they should be thanking them for doing their laundry. 

[HomeAgain]

I vote both, but everyone has to know the rule upfront.

I have a jar I keep of all things found in the laundry.  Money, legos, rocks....it's a warning to check your own pockets before I do.

FWIW, I am also the one who leaves the most money in my pockets.  I always forget to check the upper corner where I keep a $10.

 

[Grace Hopper]

3 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Yep. Dh’s earphones got washed this morning.

Ah. Well my dh does his own laundry these days. Maybe it’s time to consider that transition at your house. 😁

[Scarlett]

I love doing laundry.  I did my sons laundry until he left home.  But I am a little queasy about some laundry…stuff in pockets completely grosses me out.  And socks that are taken off rolled all up are disgusting to me.  Ds21 does his own laundry…..and dhs laundry does not gross to me…

Also if you wash or dry something that messes up my machines……you are responsible for cleaning it up.

[Katy]

I've washed DH's earphones like 5 times.  His fault.  I gave up completely when he started working from home and wearing cargo pants all the time.  I am NOT going to check 6-8 pockets. Thank God the boys love those skinny under armour pants - no pockets in most styles. Girls like purses as much as me so I haven't had a pocket problem from anyone but DH.

[Elizabeth86]

Just now, Katy said:

I've washed DH's earphones like 5 times.  His fault.  I gave up completely when he started working from home and wearing cargo pants all the time.  I am NOT going to check 6-8 pockets. Thank God the boys love those skinny under armour pants - no pockets in most styles. Girls like purses as much as me so I haven't had a pocket problem from anyone but DH.

This was the exact pants lol

[Emba]

The person who wears the pants. Who is usually doing the laundry, too. But if not, it is no one else’s job to save your things. And any money I find is mine.

[Kanin]

The wearer, definitely! Same goes for stain-sticking stains. 

[Ausmumof3]

The wearer although I end up being the defluffer and lint bowl cleaner when stuff goes through so I’m not sure that it helps.

[HazelAnne]

While I think it ought to be the wearer,  I always check as the washer. We had a laundry disaster years ago involving crayons in the dryer, and I decided I’d rather give all pockets a check to avoid dealing with something like that again. (I tell my kids to always check pockets too when they are doing laundry.) So I check not so much out of concern something of value is in a pocket, but to protect the machine and everyone’s clothes. 

Edited May 8, 2022 by HazelAnne
Clarity

[MercyA]

2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Dh Told me the other day that the magic thing that happens where his clothes are retrieved from the floor had failed.  His wallet had been tossed into the hamper. 

LOL. There is a "magic fairy" at our house. (It's me...shhh.) 😉 

[kbutton]

21 minutes ago, HazelAnne said:

While I think it ought to be the wearer,  I always check as the washer. We had a laundry disaster years ago...

Yep, it's the wearer's job, but since my wearer leaves things like small, sharp medical scissors and shotgun shells in the wash, then I try to check as well. Self-defense.

[Drama Llama]

2 hours ago, Grace Hopper said:

To be specific, the responsibility to empty pockets is the garment’s  owner.

As someone with kids who regularly steal each other’s clothes I got to go with the garment WEARER.

[fraidycat]

If the pants are IN the laundry hamper or dirty laundry collection equivalent such as a pile in the corner, the pants wearer is 100% responsible.

If the laundry doer picked the pants up from another area of the house that is not where the dirty clothes "belong", such as bed, floor, back of chair, then it us up to the picker-upper to check because the wearer hadn't put them in the "ready to be washed" location and may have been planning to re-wear or empty pockets during a picking up session.

So, the answer is... it depends.

[Scarlett]

7 minutes ago, fraidycat said:

If the pants are IN the laundry hamper or dirty laundry collection equivalent such as a pile in the corner, the pants wearer is 100% responsible.

If the laundry doer picked the pants up from another area of the house that is not where the dirty clothes "belong", such as bed, floor, back of chair, then it us up to the picker-upper to check because the wearer hadn't put them in the "ready to be washed" location and may have been planning to re-wear or empty pockets during a picking up session.

So, the answer is... it depends.

Ha. Well I do agree with that to a degree…..if Dh leaves a pair of pants on the bedroom chair…..then yes I should check pockets or opt to assume he doesn’t yet want them washed.  On the floor? Definitely the same as being in the hamper in our. Arraign.  

[Melissa in Australia]

The wearer

It is mostly dh that leaves things in his pocket. When a coin gets stuck in the washing machine pump entrance, he is the one that gets to fix it🙃

[mommyoffive]

2 hours ago, HazelAnne said:

While I think it ought to be the wearer,  I always check as the washer. We had a laundry disaster years ago involving crayons in the dryer, and I decided I’d rather give all pockets a check to avoid dealing with something like that again. (I tell my kids to always check pockets too when they are doing laundry.) So I check not so much out of concern something of value is in a pocket, but to protect the machine and everyone’s clothes. 

I agree.   I am always surprised that chapstick and other things like that go through the washer and dryer don't ruin things.  I think the worst things used to be diapers and pullups that got in the washer. 

[Grace Hopper]

2 hours ago, Baseballandhockey said:

As someone with kids who regularly steal each other’s clothes I got to go with the garment WEARER.

Oh good point! The wearer isn’t always the owner! So yeah, the wearer. 

[Ting Tang]

According to the family? Me! I do the laundry. Grrrrr. But it’s the wearer, especially if he’s say… middle aged. Lol

[Arcadia]

My husband checks as he loves doing laundry and he takes our teens’ jackets and hoodies off their chairs. Those in the dirty laundry hamper would have been checked by the wearer. 

[Tanaqui]

Barring disability, anybody tall enough to shove their clothes in the washer is responsible for all aspects of laundry around here. If I'm kind enough to do somebody else's clothes for them*, they'd better empty their own darn pockets.

* Except my mother, because she's the "barring disability" clause here. She gets a pass. NOBODY ELSE.

[busymama7]

4 hours ago, fraidycat said:

If the pants are IN the laundry hamper or dirty laundry collection equivalent such as a pile in the corner, the pants wearer is 100% responsible.

If the laundry doer picked the pants up from another area of the house that is not where the dirty clothes "belong", such as bed, floor, back of chair, then it us up to the picker-upper to check because the wearer hadn't put them in the "ready to be washed" location and may have been planning to re-wear or empty pockets during a picking up session.

So, the answer is... it depends.

This is what I think too. 

[SKL]

In practice, both.  Ideally, the wearer checks the pockets, but IME it's usually the washer who has to deal with the results (unless it's something like an electronic device that gets destroyed in the washer).

I always try to check all pockets before I wash, because I'm a realist.  🙂

[dsmith]

Pants wearer. And the laundry doer gets to keep all money found in pockets. I usually make a buck or two a month, and occasionally get a $20.

[JustEm]

Pants wearer. Dh has lost an ipod and cellphone because they went through the wash. He's also had his wallet washed many times. One other rule we have is anything kept in pockets that is found by the washer if she so decides to check, which she never does, is instantly hers. Or things that fall out and she finds in the washer or dryer. So, I have gotten a lot of people's money over time.

[kristin0713]

Everyone in my family does their own laundry. They are totally responsible. If I happen to mix the kids' stuff in with my own, I check for the sake of protecting my own clothes from markers and gum and chapstick and whatever else. 

[HS Mom in NC]

The wearer.  Everyone in my house starts washing their own clothes at age 10.  We have a nearby stool for shorties.

I grew up on a farm with 4 kids, mother with no patience for crap like that,  and a schedule for rotating who was the washer.  Anything that came out of pockets, including cash, immediately became the property of the washer. That solved that problem.

[Amethyst]

Both. Of course the wearer should check and empty their own pockets. But mistakes happen, so I check pockets before I put a load in (and encourage others to) as a sort of quality control measure. Mistakes happens. I’ve missed emptying my own pickets from time to time. A penny, a Lego, no biggie. But I don’t want to ruin airpods. Or have a tissue left in a picket and get stuck to all the other clothes. So, I vote both. 

[HS Mom in NC]

I wouldn't even consider putting my airpods in my pockets.  That's setting myself up for failure.  I always put them in their case in the spot designated for that or in my ears.  Yes, it's far less convenient, but convenience isn't the most important thing in that situation. I'll put other things in my pockets at risk of forgetting them there, but not anything that would bother me if it got washed.

[Farrar]

The pants wearer.

EXCEPT!!! Here is a thing that happened to me several years ago. Dh came into the room early in the morning and woke me up to tell me that my phone had sadly gone through the laundry and was completely ruined. "No," said I. "That's impossible. My phone is in my jeans pocket right over there on the little chair where I toss things I've worn that I might wear again." Dh had gathered the laundry. TO BE NICE. And washed it all. Including my phone. I was livid. And I have to say... I think I was in the right on that one.

[teachermom2834]

I like doing laundry. However weird that is. So while I agree with kids being trained to do their own laundry and be responsible for such things, I teach them to do it , turn it over to them, and then over time I start throwing it in with mine and it becomes family laundry again. 
 

I declare that I am not responsible and I don’t feel responsible for anything that gets ruined. But when something like a pen goes through and ruins stuff that belongs to other people then it becomes a family problem, not just limited to the offender. So, my official stance is that I am not responsible. Unofficially, I try to remember to check. 
 

But the biggest stuff left in pocket issue is me and the dang tissues I leave in my pockets. Super annoying and I can’t even blame anyone else for it. I think I get most of them but when I have a tissue stuck in every pocket even if I catch 95% of them that is still a fairly frequent occasion of opening the washer to see the tissue fragments stuck to everything. Ugh. 

[SKL]

2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

I like doing laundry. However weird that is. So while I agree with kids being trained to do their own laundry and be responsible for such things, I teach them to do it , turn it over to them, and then over time I start throwing it in with mine and it becomes family laundry again. 
 

I declare that I am not responsible and I don’t feel responsible for anything that gets ruined. But when something like a pen goes through and ruins stuff that belongs to other people then it becomes a family problem, not just limited to the offender. So, my official stance is that I am not responsible. Unofficially, I try to remember to check. 
 

But the biggest stuff left in pocket issue is me and the dang tissues I leave in my pockets. Super annoying and I can’t even blame anyone else for it. I think I get most of them but when I have a tissue stuck in every pocket even if I catch 95% of them that is still a fairly frequent occasion of opening the washer to see the tissue fragments stuck to everything. Ugh. 

Same!  Except one of my kids is worse than me - it isn't unusual for her to leave horse treats and various other nasty things in her pockets.  I remind her to clean out her pockets, but she will do 90%, which isn't enough.  Sometimes I find stuff and get annoyed before I wash ... other times I find horse treats in the washer after moving the clothes to the dryer.  Thankfully they tend to stay in one piece.

But yeah, the tissues are mine.  I do check.  I think I always check.  And yet.

[Familia]

Short Answer: the wearer.

The grossest thing to go through the drier was an egg! Dd had collected the egg at the hen house, then promptly went sledding. The egg, she checked to be sure, came through the fun just fine. Then, when she came in and discarded the coat onto the laundry room with the rest of the snow clothes, forgetting the egg, I tossed everything into the dryer for a quick dry & ICK..egg everywhere! She was not 10 yet, so innocent 🙄

We must go easy on clothes…only socks, undies & tops get put in wash daily, so it took too long to collect a full load IMO opinion for everyone to do their own wash - maybe I was doing something wrong LOL I taught them to do laundry, but it just was not needed for them to do their own. None of them ever ‘let’ me do the wash they brought home from college, they insisted they do it themselves as a badge of independence, or something, so it all worked out.

Anyway, everyone knew that if they left cash in pockets, it became MY cash as the washer! Then, if they left a tissue in, they had to pick the bazillion pieces off the other wet clothes. 

Edited May 9, 2022 by Familia
Added short answer first

[Terabith]

The owners of the pants are the ones responsible.  

And yet, I am the only one who routinely empties my pockets.  It is super annoying.  Everyone else in the house has ADHD, and I have come to the conclusion it probably just isn't going to happen. That said, if it's a situation like cargo pants, we just all take our chances.  I pick off a lot of kleenex lint from laundry.  

[Terabith]

3 hours ago, Farrar said:

The pants wearer.

EXCEPT!!! Here is a thing that happened to me several years ago. Dh came into the room early in the morning and woke me up to tell me that my phone had sadly gone through the laundry and was completely ruined. "No," said I. "That's impossible. My phone is in my jeans pocket right over there on the little chair where I toss things I've worn that I might wear again." Dh had gathered the laundry. TO BE NICE. And washed it all. Including my phone. I was livid. And I have to say... I think I was in the right on that one.

Yeah, that was totally not on you.  

[prairiewindmomma]

In a family full of people with adhd, most of whom do their own laundry.....I buy earbuds in multipacks from amazon. It's just easier to have them on hand and have them buy them from the Bank of Mom than to do a last minute scramble before an online call/class starts. They have all (mostly) improved with checking their pockets with time. 

[Loowit]

In an ideal world, the wearer.  In my world, both.  I expect them to check their pockets, but I am a backup just in case.  I don't always do it though and it can turn out badly.  Like the time DH left a pen in his pocket and it ruined several shirts.  Or the time he left a knife in his pocket and it cut up some of his own clothes.  The worst I have done myself is kleenex, which is messy but doesn't really ruin anything.

[theelfqueen]

I basically NEVER check other people's laundry. This hasn't been great for them. They are encouraged to check their own pockets and/or do their own laundry. 

[Spryte]

The wearer! After 10 or so, like someone else said. And if you’re the type to carry chapstick — do your own laundry. Ditto if you’re the type to leave wadded tissues in a pocket.

DH’s EarPods have gone through the laundry twice. I washed the load, but he left them in the pockets. He always takes responsibility, though I feel badly about it. Not that it makes me start checking any pockets other than my own! 

I have actually washed my own phone though, oops! 

 

[katilac]

This is something to be negotiated in every house. If the person/people sorting the laundry don't really mind checking pockets, then doing so can be  powerful when negotiating the Chore Treaty. 

 

[TechWife]

On 5/8/2022 at 4:26 PM, Elizabeth86 said:

Is the laundry washer supposed to check pockets or the pants wearer? Or both?

Both. It's a team effort.