Would you pay for tattoo for 18th bday gift?

[Joker]

All ds wanted for his 18th birthday was a tattoo. We discussed what he wanted, where he wanted it, and his reasons for wanting it. Dh and I agreed to do it. It was something that has a lot of meaning for him and meaning that won't be going away. It's a few words on the inside of his lower arm and it's not that big. 

 

None of us have tattoos and no one in our close family has tattoos and many of them, on my side, have kind of flipped out. In talking with a few friends, they have stated they didn't think they would pay for their kids to get one either. So, it got me wondering if dh and I are just really weird. I'm fine with it if we are but I'm curious. 

 

 

 

If it matters, ds couldn't pay for it and he doesn't have a job. He had a few really rough years from 14-16 and when he was finally in a good place at 17 we wanted him to just be able to do school and have fun with friends. He's a really good student (has some scholarships to colleges for the fall), does some volunteering, and plans on working when he goes to college but nothing now. 

[Catwoman]

I wouldn’t, but I hate tattoos.

[Joker]

I wouldn’t, but I hate tattoos.

 

We don't like them either and none of us have any or want any. I wish he didn't want one but he's his own person. 

[kiwik]

I could always think of better uses for money and I hate tattoos.

[teachermom2834]

Probably not unless it was something very meaningful that I understood. It sounds like maybe that is the case.

 

I don't like tattoos and none of us here have them but at 18 I wouldn't fuss. I don't think I would pay for it but I can't say definitely not.

[6packofun]

I wouldn't, but only because I think the wait until they are employed to afford it themselves can give some clarity on what thing to permanently put on their bodies.  (I'm not against tattoos at all; ds finally got the one he'd never wavered on wanting at 22.)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I wouldn't but we have different circumstances in our family and you asked what I would do.   I don't think that it is about whether you are "weird" or not. 

[marbel]

I am not a real fan of tattoos.  But this sounds like it is not a frivolous thing.  If it was my kid, and it was something truly meaningful, and in good taste, I might do it.  I am not implying that you or your son would tend to choose something in poor taste, and I know that good taste is subjective but I figure you know what I mean.)

 

A young man who went to our church for a time had a beautiful Celtic cross tattoo on his arm.  That did a bit to change my opinion of tattoos, honestly. 

[Carrie12345]

I voted yes, but I'd probably be overly controlling about it, lol.  And only because it's a hypothetical birthday gift. I'm unlikely to pay for a tattoo just because.

[rose]

Not a chance, but I hate tatoos. All I can imagine is what they're going to look like when the person is 85 years old and it's all saggy and gross.

[Kassia]

I'm not a fan of tattoos, but I'd be supportive if it was important to my adult child.  

[OneStepAtATime]

It would depend on the circumstances, how responsible/clear headed I thought my child was, and what the tattoo was representing.

 

For instance, if my child wanted F*** Y** then nope, not paying for that.   :lol:

[desiree77]

We've said no to our dd. But I'm rethinking...it's meaningful, crazy small, and not really that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. We'd get a lot of cool parent points if we helped her navigate this. She could do it and pay for it on her own anyway.

 

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

[trulycrabby]

I voted no, but after reading your story, then yes in that situation I would pay for it.

[edelweiss]

I wouldn't, but I really don't like tattoos.  If one of my daughters want a tattoo as an adult, they can do so, of course, but they will need to pay for it themselves.

[unsinkable]

No. I dislike the idea of my kids permanently inking their beautiful skin. I wouldn't condone it by giving money for one.

[Night Elf]

We paid for my youngest dd's first tattoo on her 18th birthday. She had her second one done on her next birthday and we paid for that as well. Her birthday is in a couple of months. We'll see if she wants a third one. :)

[Arcadia]

If it is for remembering someone who has passed, I would but not for the inside of the arm. My former CEO has the nickname of Mafia and The Godfather because of his tattoos so I won’t want a tattoo where someone has to wear a long sleeve top to cover up when the situation (like a workplace with no visible tattoos requirement) requires it.

 

A friend has a small tattoo at her ankle, easily covered up in business attire. She is a lifeguard and swimming instructor, and most parents aren’t put off by a small ankle tattoo.

Edited January 6, 2018 by Arcadia

[Heatherwith4]

Probably. Especially since it’s a meaningful one. (I wouldn’t if it was somewhere that might prevent employment, I.e. face or neck.)

[Miss Peregrine]

I don't think I would because gifts don't have conditions and I would definitely have conditions.

[City Mouse]

I would be fine with giving an 18yr old money as a birthday gift. if he choose to spend it on a tattoo that is up to him. When I give a gift, I don't like to put any conditions on it. Now, if he wanted to borrow money for a tattoo, that would be a different thing.

[rainbowmama]

My spouse has a tattoo he regrets, so that colors my feelings. No, I wouldn't, especially that placement

[Crimson Wife]

 So, I suppose my answer is, it depends. Under most circumstances, I would not. But under the right circumstances, I would.

 

Yes, this. I am not a big fan of tattoos as fashion statements but I would pay for a memorial tattoo or something along those lines.

 

[Joker]

The placement is actually important because it loses meaning if not someplace visible.That was our biggest hang up but he explained well and passionately. It makes sense. It's not very big either. 

[Targhee]

Since you already talked about it and told him you would I would of course follow through. I don't care what other people do with their bodies, and I find many tattoos very attractive, but I see a lot of ugly ones and regrettable ones, and it isn't something I want to promote in my kids. My thinking is if he's old enough to make a decision about a tattoo he's old enough to pay for it himself.

[Wheres Toto]

Tattoos are so common these days that I don't think being able to hide it is necessarily required.

 

I have one tattoo that I got in my 30's.  My oldest dd has a few but I don't think we've paid for any of them, she may have used money we gave her as a present though.

 

I'd have no problem with paying for one as a gift, as long as I wasn't morally or philosophically opposed to tattoos in general or what he wanted in particular.

[Guest]

I picked yes in the poll, but I really mean Maybe. I am not absolutely against tats, though not super adoring of them, either. DH would be more likely to say No, but I think it would be a No as in, I’m not going to endorse it, though I recognize you will soon be able to do this with or without my approval.

 

There are certain kinds of tattoos and some locations I would be totally opposed to, though.

[guilfordlake]

Yes, if that is what they asked for as a bday or Christmas present. (And it wasn't profanity or other objectionable wording.) Otherwise, no.

[wintermom]

No.

Edited January 6, 2018 by wintermom

[Joker]

I think a momento of a certain phase in one's life can be a great thing, but this young man will have a life-time of this reminder. Will he REALLY want to be reminded of this teen-mentality time of his life when he is 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, every single day? A necklace, bracelet or some other temporary item can be a nice way to transition from teen to adult; from one mindset to another. Is this tattoo something that will be meaningful if his outlook changes later in life?

 

It's not a teen mentality thing at all. The tattoo represents who he is and how hard he's fought to get here and be proud of who that person is. It truly is not something that will change.

 

 

Thinking about your post has me hoping that the tattoo can actually help remind him of who is he now in this moment if he ever starts feeling down about himself again. 

Edited January 6, 2018 by Joker

[wintermom]

It's not a teen mentality thing at all. The tattoo represents who he is and how hard he's fought to get here and be proud of who that person is. It truly is not something that will change.

 

 

Thinking about your post has me hoping that the tattoo can actually help remind him of who is he now in this moment if he ever starts feeling down about himself again. 

 

What are the words? 

[Bluegoat]

Probably not, though I'd not make a big fuss if they went ahead and did it themselves. I might say why I'd be inclined to hold off.

[LucyStoner]

Yes, for a "child" who was 18+ and had their head screwed on well enough to not choose a stupid or lame tattoo.

[J-rap]

Yes, absolutely.  We've done it.  We did it for our dd at 16.  She got a nice flower, with the same name as her name.  It is very sweet, actually.  I really don't understand the big deal.  Three of my kids have one.  I'm so grateful for their love and generosity, their unselfish hearts and honesty.  If they want a tattoo, that's such a little deal in the whole scheme of things!  

Edited January 6, 2018 by J-rap

[DawnM]

Interestingly enough, we JUST had a conversation today with our almost 20 year old about it.

 

We told him NOT to get a tattoo during college and assured him we would not be paying for it!

 

So my answer is no.

 

Now, my friend told her son if he got a tattoo he would be kicked out.  I wouldn't go that far.

[almondbutterandjelly]

I picked other.  In your situation, yes that sounds lovely.  In my dd's situation, no.  She has eczema and her skin is also super sensitive, so I think horrible things would happen if she got a tattoo.  I'm not opposed to them, however, in general.  I've seen enough Tattoo TV shows to appreciate them for the art work and the meaning.

[DawnM]

My spouse has a tattoo he regrets, so that colors my feelings. No, I wouldn't, especially that placement

 

DH was telling my son about his coworker who has the word "Jeff" on her wrist.  She is married to Stan.  Yup, old boyfriend......regret!

[Catwoman]

DH was telling my son about his coworker who has the word "Jeff" on her wrist. She is married to Stan. Yup, old boyfriend......regret!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Prairie~Phlox]

I would & I think you’ll get more negative answers in this group, not sure why just so many seem against it.

[Cindy in FL.]

In general I am not a fan of tattoos, but it’s not totally black and white for me. I know that Steven Curtis Chapman, his wife, and two of their sons got tattoos to honor their daughter/sister who died. Mary Beth Chapman had a picture that her daughter had drawn tattooed on her lower arm or wrist, and I think the others had a Scripture done. I really understand doing something like that, and would not have a problem with it because it’s deeply meaningful and is unobtrusive (not necessarily the right word), so it’s more for them than for other people.

 

I don’t know that I’d pay for someone’s tattoo, though.

Edited January 6, 2018 by Cindy in FL.

[KarenNC]

DH was telling my son about his coworker who has the word "Jeff" on her wrist.  She is married to Stan.  Yup, old boyfriend......regret!

 

IMO, in general, the only name one should *ever* consider safe to get tattooed is of their child. Not even "mom" as I've had friends where that relationship went very, very south and would have led to regret.

 

ETA: I can see for a sibling who has passed or other memorial situation.

Edited January 6, 2018 by KarenNC

[xixstar]

I would not. I am not against tattoos but I'm against deciding to get one at a young age.

I have always asked DS to take an extreme amount of time to consider a tattoo before he ever gets one. Going as far as suggesting her draw the tattoo on every day (or as needed) for an entire year before he makes that choice. But it's related to my own experience and how I'm terribly grateful someone told me to do the same. There is a tattoo I knew I wanted more than anything at a similar are, it had meaning, it was important, but after less than 6 months of drawing it on every few days, I realized that I didn't want it there for life. I've yet to get any tattoo since.

Now, if he want to get something pierced, I'm more open to that idea. :) Though stretching ears is one thing I am also not a fan of and highly discourage. 

[rocassie]

I voted other, because I probably wouldn't as I don't like them and their permenance.  However, there would be some circumstances that I may choose to give a tatoo as a gift.  Not prior to them being legal though.

[Sandwalker]

My dd wanted a tattoo more than anything when a teenager. When she turned 18, she talked about getting one, it was a meaningful tattoo, but she never did spend the money on it. She's 29 now and has thanked me several times for not letting her get a tattoo before she was 18, and for discouraging her from it later on. She said she's been called a "unicorn"-- a cool girl over 21 with no tattoos. :D

[Miss Peregrine]

My dd wanted a tattoo more than anything when a teenager. When she turned 18, she talked about getting one, it was a meaningful tattoo, but she never did spend the money on it. She's 29 now and has thanked me several times for not letting her get a tattoo before she was 18, and for discouraging her from it later on. She said she's been called a "unicorn"-- a cool girl over 21 with no tattoos. :D

Haha. I tell my kids to be rebels and not get a tattoo.

[Rachel]

My kids are too young right now to know. My initial response is no, I’m not a huge fan of tattoos. But I could see myself saying yes in certain circumstances. My sister got one at 19 and my brother was 18, now neither of them like the tattoos they got at that time. My brother doesn’t have any others but my sister has several more.

[cave canem]

   I have a child who will probably get a tattoo upon turning18.  I am sure I will have nothing to do with it.  He doesn't know what it will be, just something.  Please don't flame me for saying this, because it is not a reflection on any of you or any of your children, but this kid is a follower, follower, follower, and that's what this seems to be about.

   I strongly dislike visible tattoos.  When I see them on an arm, I always--still--think that the person's arm is dirty or that it's a weird filmy sleeve.  It looks so messy to me. It also seems like branding oneself, and I don't want to permanently mark my skin with anything--no child, lover, idea, scripture. I don't want to be stuck with anything for that long.  I prefer something changeable like earrings.  Also, with my luck, I'd be allergic to the dyes.

 

[Guest]

I have tattoos, I like tattoos, I disagree with someone that young making a permanent change. I wouldn’t pay for implants either.

[Elizabeth86]

Here's my thoughts. I'm not opposed to tattoos. I don't have any, don't love em and probably wouldn't be thrilled my kid wanted one. However, I would not think I would discourage them unless it was like a face tattoo or something ridiculous. I do not think I would pay for a tattoo because he might 15 years from now regretting it and be all like wtf mom what were YOU thinking. I'd likely give him birthday money to spend how he wanted to and if it were for a tattoo then fine, the decision was all his. :lol:

[Frances]

I would & I think you’ll get more negative answers in this group, not sure why just so many seem against it.

Personally, I simply find about 99% of tattoos unattractive and I think they often look like they are clashing with whatever clothes a person is wearing. To me, plain skin is simply much more appealing. But to each his own.