Would you send money for this? Mission trip fundraising

[Janeway]

This bothers me. Here goes. There is this other home school family. We do not go to the same church. Their youngest is older than my oldest. They only have the one child at home now and she is about to turn 18 yrs old. Apparently, this youngest child decided not to go to college. As a result, the parents stopped sending her to any of the outsourced classes, because she was not interested and she was not planning to go to college anyway. Also, she apparently wanted to get a job, so she works at a fast food place. I am unsure how much she works, but I suspect she might be working full-time as every time I speak to them, she is at work or on her way to work. Then they tell me she spends all her money on shopping and has no savings. Also, when she turned 18 yrs old this summer, she wants to marry her boyfriend and move out. 

 

Now I get a letter in the mail saying she wants to take a mission trip with her church high school program and is raising money. She enclosed an envelope so I could send her my donation. The letter was nicely written out. 

 

A few months ago, I had a baby and while in labor, my babysitter could not stay. I called and begged her to come over to babysit. I was having a cesarean so she would not have to babysit long, just a few hours. I pay $10/hour. Her mom said no. I don't know if she would have wanted to do it either. Her mom claimed she had school work, but from what I hear from her older sibling, she did not. Her mom just didn't want her to go. 

 

Now, she wants me to send a donation for her mission trip, when she is working at least part-time, possibly full-time, and spends all her money shopping for clothes. MY children have things they want to do this summer and I do not have them send letters to others to ask for money. And oddly, my idea of a fundraiser is to do something to earn the money. She could easily pay for this trip off the money she earns in her job. I feel like, for the same of being nice, like I have to send some money. But in reality, I feel taken advantage of. And frankly, I would not give my own children money when they had the chance to earn it. And I definitely would not give them money for a trip while they spend their own money on shopping. This is so embarrassing! WWYD?

[6packofun]

I would send nothing and not feel one bit badly about it.

[3 ladybugs]

Not in your budget. Don't feel bad. My father sent out a letter for me to help fundraise for my youngest sibling's adoption. At the time we had just spent 7 months in the hospital with me and our 3 children (who didn't make it) and were paying off credit card debt from that experience ($15 a day parking anyone??). At the end of the day, all was well and my sister is none the wiser. 

 

If you loose a friend over this issue, it sounds like they were never a friend to begin with. That is cold to not help you when you are in labor. I would have distanced myself after that as it is only time that you were asking for. That is easier to give then money. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I never give to mission fundraisers, but I don't know what all the rest has to do with it. She has every right to hold down a job, get married, choose not to go to college, choose which babysitting jobs she'll take...are you saying you're not donating to her thing because she didn't help you and you don't think she makes wise financial decisions? Because for me, saying no on principle would be enough. :)

[Entropymama]

When kids do these trips they tend to send out letters to everyone they know. She may also be paying part of the way with her own earnings or doing other work to fundraise. I doubt she is expecting you to donate, but she probably figured she might as well ask. If you don't want to send anything, don't feel bad about it. 

[Artichoke]

Unless I have a relationship with the person and am asked in person or over the telephone, I do not donate to mission trips. I will respond to donation letters with an odd job or two that I'll pay really well for. In over ten years of doing this, only one person has ever taken me up on the offer to earn money.

[bettyandbob]

I'd just ignore it. 

[Janeway]

I never give to mission fundraisers, but I don't know what all the rest has to do with it. She has every right to hold down a job, get married, choose not to go to college, choose which babysitting jobs she'll take...are you saying you're not donating to her thing because she didn't help you and you don't think she makes wise financial decisions? Because for me, saying no on principle would be enough. :)

If she legitimately did not have the money and had made effort toward raising the money by doing things for money..lawn work, whatever else, even babysitting, then I would be more willing to give money. Instead, (after I made the original post, I asked) it turns out, she makes all the money she needs for the entire trip in less than 3 weeks time. And she would not help me when I needed it, and that would have given her even more money to put toward the trip. She wants a handout when she already has the money. And when she is offered the chance to do something to earn money, she says no. 

 

I just had a talk earlier today with my own oldest child about expecting him to work to pay for extras like that and earning things and so on. How can I possibly expect this of my own children, and then turn around and write a check out to someone else's child so that she can go shopping? I would never in a million years have my children beg for money from others when they already have their own money, they simply wanted to buy clothes and fast food with their own money. 

[zoobie]

Just toss the letter in the bin. You don't have to defend your choice to dislike the girl and not want to give her money for a vacation.

[gardenmom5]

yes it would bother me.

I am not here to fund  other people's children's extracurriculars.  that' is what this is, and what they're calling it is irrelevant.

 

i'd toss the envelope in the trash.

[SKL]

If they are close enough that a response is expected, I would probably give a token amount.  Does $5 sound OK?  That would be saying, I support your having dreams and goals, but I don't plan on supporting you financially.  Include an encouraging note.  :)

[Hyacinth]

She can ask and you can say no. It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.

[marbel]

You obviously don't want to make a donation, so, don't.   Even without the stuff that annoys you, you are not obligated to make a donation. 

 

This thread has been an eye-opener for me!  I've often responded to fund-raising letters with a check.  My daughter (who has a part-time job) is supposed to send out letters for a youth group mission trip (not a vacation, a service trip fixing houses).   She was going to send a few letters to friends and family who live a long distance away.  She wouldn't be able to do any work for them.  I think I will tell her to skip it so not to annoy people. 

[mims]

You obviously don't want to make a donation, so, don't.   Even without the stuff that annoys you, you are not obligated to make a donation. 

 

This thread has been an eye-opener for me!  I've often responded to fund-raising letters with a check.  My daughter (who has a part-time job) is supposed to send out letters for a youth group mission trip (not a vacation, a service trip fixing houses).   She was going to send a few letters to friends and family who live a long distance away.  She wouldn't be able to do any work for them.  I think I will tell her to skip it so not to annoy people. 

Do send out a letter if it is to people that might support the project your daughter is planning on doing.  This can be their way of contributing to needy people, they will just do this through your daughter.  

[Artichoke]

You obviously don't want to make a donation, so, don't. Even without the stuff that annoys you, you are not obligated to make a donation.

 

This thread has been an eye-opener for me! I've often responded to fund-raising letters with a check. My daughter (who has a part-time job) is supposed to send out letters for a youth group mission trip (not a vacation, a service trip fixing houses). She was going to send a few letters to friends and family who live a long distance away. She wouldn't be able to do any work for them. I think I will tell her to skip it so not to annoy people.

Could she not call the people instead?

 

It irks me to no end that the folks in charge usually ask people to send out bulk letters. I probably sound like a dinosaur, but to me if you're going to ask someone to fund a trip, then isn't it worth at least a conversation. Now if I recieved a personal letter, I'd certainly respond. It's the trend of generic "this is what I'm going to do letters" that annoy me.

Edited April 5, 2016 by Artichoke

[Mergath]

I wouldn't send a penny, and I wouldn't feel bad about it at all. It sounds like she can afford her own vacation (and yes, unskilled teens going on mission trips are essentially going on vacation) but she wants to see how many people she can sucker into paying for it.

 

Don't be a sucker.

Edited April 5, 2016 by Mergath

[ThisIsTheDay]

Other than fund my own child's out of country mission trip, I've only felt led to directly contribute to one other child's trip.  I have, on occasion, purchased  goods from teens who are attemptig to raise money for their trips.

 

So I would not be contributing to this girl's, although it would have nothing to do with any of the other information.  I wouldn't feel guilty about it.  If the Lord wants her to make this trip, He will certainly make the way for her, and it won't be by guilting any donors into it.

[marbel]

The idea behind sending letters rather than calling is so that people are not put on the spot. They can read the letter at their leisure and decide. That, and the fact that so many people hate getting phone calls now and don't answer the phone. I don't think fundraising texts would get a good response, lol. :-)

[Spryte]

I wouldn't donate to that. And no guilt.

[Eliz]

Don't give if you don't think the trip and teen deserves your support.  You seem angry that she couldn't or wouldn't help babysit for you.  Is it not possible that she really couldn't?  I don't see that she's taking advantage of you.  She's asking for a donation and you're saying no.  That's all.  I say no to wonderful charities all the time because I've already chosen those that will get my money. 

 

I tend to question "mission" trips for teens, but I also know these trips have changed the lives of some teens for the better.  Our youth group earns most of the money for trips, but not all.  The other portion comes from church members. 

[Butter]

I'd ignore the letter and not send anything.

 

If she was selling something to earn the money I would definitely consider it if I wanted/needed what she was offering.  One guy I know made and sold tamales.  Just this week I saw one selling banana bread and another selling personalized water bottles.  Just sending cash?  I'd have to be very close to the person.

[Ottakee]

You are free to ignore the letter and not give if you don't want to.

 

That said, I do think it is OK to send out fund raising letters. I let my idea send out 4 of them this year.... Meaning to 4 family friends. It wasn't a mass mailing but we did do a few friends.

 

Those letters raised about 25% of the trip money. My kids also worked at our church's thrift store where they earned $5/hour towards the trip. The final part they are paying for themselves.

[bolt.]

I don't know why you would feel "taken advantage of" simply because someone wrote you a letter, nor why you would feel "embarrassed" when nothing has happened other than you reading the letter (presumably you read it to yourself, alone, in your own home).

 

You were asked a question. You are inclined to answer "no" and you plan to answer "no" -- any sense of drama about it is entirely optional. It's as easy as telling they Boy Scouts that "no" you don't have anything for their bottle drive. In fact, it's as easy as not answering the door to a bote drive if you know who is out there. Do nothing, and nothing will happen.

Edited April 5, 2016 by bolt.

[DawnM]

I wouldn't give.  My son is going on a missions trip.  We are paying for it.

[Janeway]

You are free to ignore the letter and not give if you don't want to.

 

That said, I do think it is OK to send out fund raising letters. I let my idea send out 4 of them this year.... Meaning to 4 family friends. It wasn't a mass mailing but we did do a few friends.

 

Those letters raised about 25% of the trip money. My kids also worked at our church's thrift store where they earned $5/hour towards the trip. The final part they are paying for themselves.

Would you let them send the letters out asking for money if they already had the money in the bank but just wanted to go shopping with their own money?

[lmrich]

do not give money. My dd has done mission trips, and with the exception of grandparents, I would not let her ask for money from others. She had to pay 1/2 and she was not 16  so she had to pet sit, save every birthday $, sold ballet hair stuff that we made, worked at Parents' night out, etc... However, I am not upset when people ask me for me money. I just don't give it to them. I will give it to the church. 

[kitten18]

Would you let them send the letters out asking for money if they already had the money in the bank but just wanted to go shopping with their own money?

Well, yes.

I don't judge every money decision that people make.

 

I think it's fine not to donate to this girl but just because people have their own money doesn't mean they shouldn't ask for donations for their organization.

[Janeway]

Well, yes.

I don't judge every money decision that people make.

 

I think it's fine not to donate to this girl but just because people have their own money doesn't mean they shouldn't ask for donations for their organization.

She is not asking for money for an organization. She is asking money for herself to go on a trip.

[marbel]

Well, yes.

I don't judge every money decision that people make.

 

I think it's fine not to donate to this girl but just because people have their own money doesn't mean they shouldn't ask for donations for their organization.

 

I agree. 

 

In my experience, the people who want to go on the trip have an individual fundraising goal, but not everyone makes it.  The money is put into a pot so those who are not able to raise (via whatever means, donation or work) all the funds they need for their expenses are helped by those who are able to raise more. 

 

Really, OP, you should just ignore the letter.  I could be reading you all wrong but you seem so upset over this.  You are under no obligation to give, no reason needed!

 

[Janeway]

I agree. 

 

In my experience, the people who want to go on the trip have an individual fundraising goal, but not everyone makes it.  The money is put into a pot so those who are not able to raise (via whatever means, donation or work) all the funds they need for their expenses are helped by those who are able to raise more. 

 

Really, OP, you should just ignore the letter.  I could be reading you all wrong but you seem so upset over this.  You are under no obligation to give, no reason needed!

 

I have never seen such a thing before, so I feel afraid that when I don't send money, they will be upset and it will affect our friendship. Plus, I am unsure why they would ask for money when they already have money. My children all have summer activities and I paid for all their activities myself. I did not go out and ask others to send us money for it. If I had to, they would not go. And there are things they would love to do that they cannot do because it costs money and we budget. If they were fundraising for say, buying homeless children food during the summer, sure. But, it is a trip. And the person who wants the money to go on the trip can easily afford it herself. I just do not get this whole thing. She does not need the trip to survive and even if she did, she can afford it herself. Perhaps if they get upset about my not sending money for their daughter's trip, I should come back with I would like them to send money for my children's activities. My smaller children need swim lessons. That is extremely important for life skills in my opinion. This will be their first year in swim lessons, even though they probably should have taken it younger. I am referencing my younger children. But, we budget and this is the first year where it really seemed feasible. Swim lessons are not inexpensive here. I did not go out begging others for money for my children's swim lessons. When we could not afford it, we did not do it. But this is just a big step more. They are asking for money for something they can afford. And something that is not a life skill or something they need for survival like food or clothes. It's a trip. Hopefully, they won't mention it again. Hopefully, this letter is the end. I might be way over worrying about it.

[Carol in Cal.]

Please, stop worrying about this.

It's a request, not a bill.

It is not worth the energy you are putting into it.

 

Regarding the babysitting, it sounds like your beef is really with the mom, not the kid.  Regarding the trip, it sounds like you're worried what the mom will think.  My view on that is that you don't have to justify not contributing to this.

 

It might be that they were required to send out a certain number of letters.  Last year I got one like that.  It included a cover letter from the parents saying that they had no expectation that anyone would contribute but that their daughter was required to send out these letters.  It was very gracious, and I was thinking that more people should do something like that in those circumstances.

 

If I wanted to do anything at all for that family, I would probably write to the girl directly, and offer to pay her to do something for me if she wanted a fundraising job.  If it were me, that would be weeding out my huge, overgrown iris bed, and I would pay a lot more for that than I would give as a donation.  Then the ball is in her court, and it's a win win.

 

But you have no obligation in this situation.

[bolt.]

Generally people who plan missions trips consider themselves volunteers for the good of others -- now, that might not be true (it might do others no good at all), it it might be from mixed motives or self-deception... But nobody really thinks of it as a 'children's life skills activity' for which parents should simply pay the fees. It's not something someone does with the idea/intent simply to amuse themselves either.

 

It's perfectly reasonable for a wage-earning individual to fundraise in order to get themselves to a location where they believe they will do important volunteer work on their time off.

 

It doesn't need to be wrong for her to ask.

 

You just need to know that you are free to say no because you'd rather not be involved.

 

Making her the bad guy for planning to be a temporary missionary and sending out support-request letters is too far.

Edited April 5, 2016 by bolt.

[Garga]

OP, I agree with you that I would be majorly ticked to receive a letter asking to help pay for a trip that is already paid for. Nope.

 

I greatly dislike it when mission trip people ask for money for their trips. If you can't afford to go...don't go.

 

Now, on the other hand, I do realize that there are people out there who want to help fund mission trips. They can't go themselves and they feel really good about helping someone else. So, if you feel absolutely called to go on the trip, and you 100% cannot pay for it yourself, then, and only then, would it be ok to ask people who want to help.

 

But for someone living at home with minimal bills who can cover the cost in 15 days of work? No. It was terribly rude to even ask. If they were required to send the letters, they should have said so in the letter. If the money is going to help other people in the group, they should have said so in the letter.

 

I would toss the letter and wish that I could send something back saying, "Really? Really??! Seriously?" But you can't really do that. So, vent here and toss the letter and try to let it go.

[kitten18]

Generally people who plan missions trips consider themselves volunteers for the good of others -- now, that might not be true (it might do others no good at all), it it might be from mixed motives or self-deception... But nobody really thinks of it as a 'children's life skills activity' for which parents should simply pay the fees. It's not something someone does with the idea/intent simply to amuse themselves either.

 

It's perfectly reasonable for a wage-earning individual to fundraise in order to get themselves to a location where they believe they will do important volunteer work on their time off.

 

It doesn't need to be wrong for her to ask.

 

You just need to know that you are free to say no because you'd rather not be involved.

 

Making her the bad guy for planning to be a temporary missionary and sending out support-request letters is too far.

Yes, I completely agree.

[KungFuPanda]

If you're going to feel annoyed either way, you might as well feel annoyed with more money in the bank. Who are these people to you anyway? If they're friends, why didn't the mother help during your c-section? I say cut and run.

[Amy in NH]

No.

[vonfirmath]

Could she not call the people instead?

 

It irks me to no end that the folks in charge usually ask people to send out bulk letters. I probably sound like a dinosaur, but to me if you're going to ask someone to fund a trip, then isn't it worth at least a conversation. Now if I recieved a personal letter, I'd certainly respond. It's the trend of generic "this is what I'm going to do letters" that annoy me.

 

ACK! No I MUCH prefer a letter. It is easier to say no to a letter than a phone call!

 

ETA: And depending on the person we do contribute. it depends on our relationship with the teen involved. But I've seen really good things happen on these trips so I love being able to be part of them, even in a small way.

Edited April 5, 2016 by vonfirmath

[Guest]

I have a huge issue with these "mission" trips so it would be easy to say no.

[fraidycat]

I have a huge issue with these "mission" trips so it would be easy to say no.

:iagree:

[HS Mom in NC]

I wouldn't allow my history of babysitting needs and/or the teenager's current career path to affect my decision unless they were in some way destructive or unstable. I don't think they're relevant.

I'm a conservative, evangelical Christian and I take issue with most mission trips for various reasons. I don't take issue with ones that send mature pastors and/or teachers of doctrine to train leaders among locals who know the culture, area, people and language who have asked for that kind of help. Any funds go directly to the locals in charge-they know best what to do and how.  I think that's the most effective approach and so have about half of the churches I've attended.  When it comes to people going along to help with building and other work on a short term basis,  they can earn the money for themselves if they care enough about serving. Those same churches announce that people are looking to earn money for a trip and ask the congregation to consider hiring them for any jobs they were planning on paying someone to do anyway.  Usually a list made public so the kids can choose jobs and contact the person to make arrangements to do the work.

We fund our own kids' extracurriculars and church/charity activities so no one else has to. ( We also funded our own adoption instead of asking people to contribute to it.) We have our kids earn money to contribute to activities when appropriate, again, so no one else has to.  Do grandparents ask the kids what they're up to and hear about things coming up?  Yes.  Then grandparents can choose to offer to contribute or not. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Other than grandparents I wouldn't dream of asking or expecting anyone else to contribute financially to anything we or our kids chose to do. 

Yes, a letter is so much better because it allows people who consider it rude to ask for money to react in private without anyone's feelings getting hurt.  It may be socially acceptable in one person's social circles, but it's considered rude in other people's. Anyone advising kids about letter writing should be aware of this and any potential consequences of asking someone who doesn't consider it polite.  When the leadership is oblivious to this difference in cultures here in the US, I honestly have to wonder just how culturally aware they and the teens they're training are about the social and cultural norms where they're going.

 

There are so many many many people and organizations who truly need financial donations for far more urgent needs; we contribute to those regularly.  People with the ability to earn and pay their own way shouldn't be asking for funds if you ask me-they should be working for funds. 

I would throw the letter away and not feel bad about it at all.

[heartlikealion]

I didn't go with my church youth group on a mission trip, but I don't think they did letters. Asking for donations or such seems like it would have stayed within the church (church bulletin, etc.)

 

What are the odds you will be questioned about it? I'd probably just do nothing.

 

Maybe she works so much that when she had time off she spent it with her boyfriend and didn't want to babysit at that moment. I hate that you were in a bind and they didn't come to your aid. It's hard to say though if the mom was speaking on the daughter's behalf or not.

 

As for her spending habits... we don't know if she's taking some of her earnings and setting them aside for rent when she plans to move in with her boyfriend. Not that you should feel badly about that or anything, just saying maybe the mom doesn't know every detail of the girl's money managing.

[mamiof5]

I wouldn't send a penny.

[Pawz4me]

I also have massive issues with mission trips.

 

We get letters asking for donations on a fairly regular basis.

 

They go into the recycle bin w/o a second thought.

[Carrie12345]

I have never seen such a thing before, so I feel afraid that when I don't send money, they will be upset and it will affect our friendship. 

 

You are upset.  Their previous decision to decline to help you seems to have already affected your friendship.  You disapprove of their choices, and clearly feel put upon by the letter.

 

You have two options; send some amount of money, or don't.  I get the feeling you're going to continue to be upset either way, so I'm not sure why you're worried about *their feelings affecting the relationship when yours already are.

 

I've never donated to any sort of mission trip, but all of the solicited donations I do make are guided by my budget and how I feel about the organization, person, and specific fundraiser in the moment.  I'm a complete sucker for bake sales with perfect brownies. I'd buy those from my worst enemy!

[HomeAgain]

Short term mission trips have proven to do more harm than good.  I wouldn't give money, but I would offer prayers and then, if I still felt that I needed to help that area of the world, go through something legit like Heifer International.

[marbel]

Short term mission trips have proven to do more harm than good.  I wouldn't give money, but I would offer prayers and then, if I still felt that I needed to help that area of the world, go through something legit like Heifer International.

 

I have read this about foreign mission trips.  What about in-country short-term missions?  Trips the churches I've been involved with have been within the US, things like:  running a summer daycamp for kids on a reservation, rebuilding after Katrina, helping repair roofs/fences and painting houses in areas with a lot of poverty. 

 

Not related to quoted post:

 

No sight-seeing, just work.   I don't think fixing fences in Texas in August is really anyone's idea of a fun vacation.  :-) 

 

Still, no one should donate if they don't want to. 

 

Edited April 5, 2016 by marbel

[marbel]

I have never seen such a thing before, so I feel afraid that when I don't send money, they will be upset and it will affect our friendship.

 

<snip>

 

Your friendship has already been affected.  You are still angry that they didn't help you when you were in need, and you disapprove of the girl's spending.  I think you are just worried that they will think badly of you; you already think badly of them.  

 

[HomeAgain]

I have read this about foreign mission trips.  What about in-country short-term missions?  Trips the churches I've been involved with have been within the US, things like:  running a summer daycamp for kids on a reservation, rebuilding after Katrina, helping repair roofs/fences and painting houses in areas with a lot of poverty. 

 

Not related to quoted post:

 

No sight-seeing, just work.   I don't think fixing fences in Texas in August is really anyone's idea of a fun vacation.  :-) 

 

Still, no one should donate if they don't want to. 

 

 

Unless the missionaries are skilled in some way, I don't see the point.  There are several opportunities to serve no matter where you are that take unskilled laborers.  Next month here is an annual paint & spruce, where older neighborhoods' residents are helped out by getting basic home maintenance, rebuilding fences, putting in proper walkways...with big events, like Katrina, if you're not coordinating with other teams and working as a giant community, you're probably getting in the way of someone else. 

We have about 300 churches in my small town.  While they're all willing to go on a mission-cation, very few sign up to assist the local community.  The hungry are fed through a Catholic mission.  The homeless are assisted by a secular non-profit.  The shut-ins are cared for by secular volunteers.  The general clean up is done by the military. Harder projects are done by the scouts. 

You want to serve, start with where you are planted.  Goodness knows you are needed and you were put there for a reason, not so you can go gallivanting off to hand out stickers and coloring books in shoeboxes to feel good about yourself.  You want to truly help?  Become skilled - plumbing, electrician, nursing, doctor, construction...basic needs that cannot be fulfilled by clumsy hands and hearts.

 

[brehon]

I have never seen such a thing before, so I feel afraid that when I don't send money, they will be upset and it will affect our friendship. Plus, I am unsure why they would ask for money when they already have money. My children all have summer activities and I paid for all their activities myself. I did not go out and ask others to send us money for it. If I had to, they would not go. And there are things they would love to do that they cannot do because it costs money and we budget. If they were fundraising for say, buying homeless children food during the summer, sure. But, it is a trip. And the person who wants the money to go on the trip can easily afford it herself. I just do not get this whole thing. She does not need the trip to survive and even if she did, she can afford it herself. Perhaps if they get upset about my not sending money for their daughter's trip, I should come back with I would like them to send money for my children's activities. My smaller children need swim lessons. That is extremely important for life skills in my opinion. This will be their first year in swim lessons, even though they probably should have taken it younger. I am referencing my younger children. But, we budget and this is the first year where it really seemed feasible. Swim lessons are not inexpensive here. I did not go out begging others for money for my children's swim lessons. When we could not afford it, we did not do it. But this is just a big step more. They are asking for money for something they can afford. And something that is not a life skill or something they need for survival like food or clothes. It's a trip. Hopefully, they won't mention it again. Hopefully, this letter is the end. I might be way over worrying about it.

You are. If this family gets upset that you didn't donate to their kid's vacation (because I kinda agree with Mergath), then they're not really your friends.

 

No is a complete sentence. You don't have to justify your no. Place the letter in the circular file and don't think about it any further. *If* anyone asks you about it, just say no, you won't be contributing. "Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave." (My younger kids have been watching Penguins lately.)

 

Don't let this take any more mental space than it already has.

[Daria]

From my perspective, the "mission" of mission trips for teens is to get them out of their comfort zone, to teach them work skills and to increase their education about the world. If it impacts their long terms plans, from the way they vote, to the way they allocate their funds, to the work they do, then it can be money well spent, as long as the way they spend their time isn't harmful to the community they serve, then I am good with that.

 

As to whether I would support a particular child's mission trip, it would depend. There are some children, such as my godchild or the children of my very close friends, where I am happy to contribute to things that I see as benefitting them. It doesn't sound as though this kid would be in that category for me.