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Are you sensitive about your age?


MyThreeSons
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I frequently joke about things making me feel old. For example, I just posted on Facebook that today is my last-ever day as a mother of a teenager. But it's really more a way of saying that it's hard to believe that time is flying by so quickly.

 

Last night I was talking with my sister, and she is upset that our Mom says that she is almost 80. She is 78-1/2 years old, so I think that's a fair thing for her to say. My sister's problem is that Mom and Sis are 20 years apart, so when Mom says "almost 80", that means Sis is almost 60.

 

Well, she is closer to 60 than 55. So what? It is what it is. I just don't get being upset about it. In fact, I've learned to embrace my age. Even though I'm a year younger than sis, I actually ask if there's a senior discount available. 

 

I'm interested to hear what others think. 

 

 

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Nope.  I can't see why being 52 is a bad thing.  Now, I have thought hard about career progression (i.e. being employable at all) and making sure that I was in a good place by the time my mid-fifties came round, but that's just practicality, not sensitivity.

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I am not at this point. I am 44. I allow that it might bother me more at some future point.

 

My SIL almost had a nervous breakdown when she turned *thirty.* Now that, I couldn't relate to. I liked turning thirty. I felt like, "At last, people will take me seriously!"

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No I'm not. I'm 34. I wasn't upset to hit 30. My brother is 16 months younger than me and very sensitive about his age. But he's not married, doesn't have kids, and isn't working a career he finds fulfilling. He feels his life is slipping away and he hasn't accomplished what he wants to. I think I would feel more sensitive if I knew I wanted certain things and had done them yet.

 

I do make jokes to my kids about being old and feeble but it's usually just get them to do something for me. ;)

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A bit. I'm 48. I'm not afraid to state my age or say I'm almost 50. I am kind of sensitive about feeling my age. 

 

I hear you. I don't care what my real number is, but I hate feeling like it on some days. Just yesterday I went to sit down and must have moved funny because I pulled something in my upper leg and am limping today. :glare:

 

I can't ever remember exactly how old I am, so I guess not. Last month dh informed me that I am actually a year younger than I thought I was, lol.

 

Ha! Me, too! I spent the last year thinking I was a certain age, but that's actually the age I'll be on my upcoming birthday. :huh:  I joke that I now have to do 'advanced math' to figure out how old I am. I used to laugh at may parents for doing this but they just said that after a certain point it didn't matter and they stopped counting. They remembered better when they got to the senior discount ages, then it didn't matter again until they neared retirement age, etc. I guess I'm going about it the same way. I'm in the "no man's land" area for age. Once I start nearing the age for discounts, you can bet I'll start paying attention! :lol: 

 

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I feel exactly like the OP.  Age doesn't bother me at all.  I want to enjoy every day and age as much as I can.  What's the alternative to not aging?  That doesn't sound so great.  I just turned 45. 

 

My DH is 8 years older than me.  He has an AARP card and it's given us many awesome discounts!  Whoop!  :party:

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Twenty was hard. Seriously, I wore black for a week! (Although, it was mostly a joke.)

 

After that.....nothing has felt like a big deal. I make jokes about it and frequently forget how old I actually am.

 

The truth is I have had grandparents and great grandparents who were mowing yards, driving, being able to care for themselves and thier homes into thier late 80's-mid 90's and grandparents and great grandparents who were in need of care by the time they were 50. Age really is just a number.

 

We currently have to be careful about commenting on my age because Bug has been very sensitive about it since my grandfather died. Old = death in his mind right now so we have backed off the old jokes until this stage of grief has passed for him.

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My mother complains about getting older. Says women who let themselves go grey look horrid, says she wants a facelift, insults actresses who opt not to get a bunch of work done. The way she talks about it, it's as if these women are failing in their obligation to society to stay young looking. My sister and I find this attitude totally baffling (and fairly misogynistic) and refuse to be like that. My attitude about growing older is that the older I get, hopefully the wiser I get, and eventually, some day, I'll have things figured out. It used to be by the time I was 35, but now that I'm about six months from 35, I've set a new deadline of 45. I'm not sure what "figuring it all out" looks like, but it will involve being able to keep my house clean, follow my budget, read all the books I want (hahaha), and not forget doctor appointments. Yes, I realize some people have this accomplished by 25, but apparently I need more time to grow up. ;)

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Now if you ask me whether I love perimenopause, and whatever comes after in terms of physical deterioration, my answer may be different.  :P  It sucks not to be able to do some of the things I used to, because I don't want to break anything.  But I'm not sensitive about it.

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Not at all. In fact, I have trouble remembering how old I am. I have to actually stop and do the math. I am at my most favorite part of my life so far. (I have thought that at every point. It just keeps getting better.) It would be nice if I were here in my 20 yo body, but you can't have everything!

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My mother complains about getting older. Says women who let themselves go grey look horrid, says she wants a facelift, insults actresses who opt not to get a bunch of work done. The way she talks about it, it's as if these women are failing in their obligation to society to stay young looking. My sister and I find this attitude totally baffling (and fairly misogynistic) and refuse to be like that. My attitude about growing older is that the older I get, hopefully the wiser I get, and eventually, some day, I'll have things figured out. It used to be by the time I was 35, but now that I'm about six months from 35, I've set a new deadline of 45. I'm not sure what "figuring it all out" looks like, but it will involve being able to keep my house clean, follow my budget, read all the books I want (hahaha), and not forget doctor appointments. Yes, I realize some people have this accomplished by 25, but apparently I need more time to grow up. ;)

That's sad about your mom. Very shallow.

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I'm glad to be my age. The only other option is dead, and that doesn't appeal to me at all.

 

I have had friends and relatives who who would have loved the opportunity to tell people they were almost 52, but they died before they ever got that chance, so I'm very grateful to be getting older.

 

I used to be more concerned about looking older, but since my dh got sick, I realize how little "looking young" means in the overall scheme of things. I'm not saying I don't want to look my best; it's just that feeling my best is far more important to me.

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I am a little bit.  My kids were born when I was 41 and 43, and I am 8 years older than my husband.  So, I can get a little touchy about it sometimes.  I'm not usually a very sensitive person but my husband has learned not to make jokes about my getting older.   I don't try to hide my age, though.  If someone asks how old I am, I tell them and don't get coy about it as some women do.   

 

But I don't feel old, or even my age. Sometimes it almost seems like there was a mistake, and my birth certificate should say 1966 instead of 1956.  Of course I know that's not true - I'm not deluding myself - but sometimes it just seems like I'm not as old as I am.  Wow, I'm sure that sentence made a ton of sense.   My daughter tells me that most of the women we know who are close to my age seem much older than me.  I guess it's because I have younger children and thus I think like a younger person, maybe. 

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Not at all. I will be 48 very soon and I have learned and gained so much since I was 20.

 

I am more relaxed

 

I am willing to look at other points of view and consider why someone would think that way

 

Sometimes I even change my opinions based on considering another viewpoint

 

I've learned that I can disagree with people and still really, really like them

 

I've learned what's important to me, and it's not the same as when I was 20

 

I am in MUCH better physical shape than I was because I have taken an active role in maintaining that (my body is still aging and I have issues, but I am definitely more fit now)

 

I am much healthier emotionally and spiritually

 

I have learned not to care much what other people think (still have to work on that sometimes)

 

And MOST importantly, I did all my stupid, immature stuff before Facebook and phones with video capabilities! 😎

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Nope.  Every year added is one not in the grave.  

 

I was sensitive in a different way in my 20s.  I had three kids by 24, but I looked like a 15-17 year old.  People treated me like a teen mother that couldn't keep her legs closed, when in fact by 24 I had been married for 8 years and didn't have my first child until I was 20.  

I finally look like my age, and it is kind of nice.

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I'm not sensitive about my age.  Which is fortunate for me since dc tend to announce it quite often.

 

My hardest birthday was 32.  My grandmother died at age 31 (when my df was just a baby); I realized that I had already lived longer than my grandmother had.  That revelation was startling and disconcerting.

 

I have rheumatoid arthritis, so I feel older than I am.  During the time I was being diagnosed, a doctor looked at some of my x-rays and told me that I have the bone density of an 80-year-old woman.  So, I tell people that I am the youngest-looking 80 year old they have ever met. ;)

 

One day several years ago, I was having a rough morning.  Dd said to me: "Well, Mama, you are almost 37...and 37 is close to 40...and 40 is close to 50...and 50 is halfway to 100!"  Talk about rounding up!!   :eek:

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No. I earned these years. I had my fun as a youth and I am happy to be an adult now.

 

It does help that all the moms around here seem to have waited until their 40s to have children so I am like a spring chicken!

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In a couple of months I will be closer to 60 than 50. It is what it is. Life is good. I do wonder where the time has gone and so quickly at that. But no, I'm not sensitive about my age. Honestly, I feel a sense of accomplishment.

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I did not care one way or another until I turned sixty. That birthday was a negative milestone.

 

I don't know if this would have bothered me had my mother not died three months previously.

My most difficult birthday was when I turned 40. My mom passed away a few months before that. It wasn't that I was going to be 40, just that I was recognizing how quickly life moved forward. And because I was missing my mom so terribly.

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I'm not really sensitive to my specific age number. What I do have a hard time with is being middle aged. I feel my mom is middle age and I'm young enough to think middle age is old. I just can't see my mom as being in her seventies. It's just weird to me. I do feel old though. I did things as a young adult I would never do now, take risks I would never do now. I don't have some magical list of things I want to do as I get older. One day is the same as the next and I can't imagine that ever being different. Also, I feel I'm too old to go back to work. The only job I can get that I would like to do is work in a daycare and I can't see them wanting to hire an almost 50 year old despite the experience with my own kids that I have. If I was a director, I don't think I'd want to hire someone as old as me.

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To be honest, I've can rarely tell you at the drop of a hat how old I am.  I don't keep track of it.  I can think quickly and do the math, but it's not something I am always thinking about and the number doesn't bother me.  (It's 46.)  Except for my wiggly neck (from weight loss), I have very, very few lines and no wrinkles.  I do take careful precautions with my skin.  I grew up in S FL in an era where there really wasn't such a thing as sunscreen and the damage is already done, but since my 20's, I've been careful not to let it get further damaged.  At any rate... no... I'm not sensitive about my age.  I'd like it to be 90-something someday. 

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I am not sensitive.  Both my dh and I look younger than our age.  We had people look askance when they found out we had adult children.  We didn;t start that early either since our first was when I was 26.  THe one time it bothers me is when all the older people can do things I can't do like play tennis or do wild caving.  BUt I have had about 25 years to get used to not doing things others can do and at least it is better when I am 52 and can't do things versus when I was in my 30's and couldn't do things.

 

In the last few years, I have been doing a lot more activities with older people and I find I enjoy their company.  As of now, we have the same status= retired.  I am now retired from homeschooling and they are retired from employment.  But I do see the differences in our adaptations to difficulties.  The older people just sort of accept their limitations.  I tend to work around them and try to continue my life as normally as possible.

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My SIL almost had a nervous breakdown when she turned *thirty.* Now that, I couldn't relate to. I liked turning thirty. I felt like, "At last, people will take me seriously!"

 

I teased my then husband mercilessly when she turned 30, because it was so easy to do. When I turned 30 almost a year ago she tried to tease me. Didn't work. Now I'm teasing her about being "almost 40" (she'll turn 39 later this year). I think ages are less likely to bother me since almost everyone I know is older than me, so I have plenty of time of "oh yeah, forgot I wasn't in my 30s/40s/etc too" before anyone can tease me about being in my 30s/40s/etc. Plus, when I was young people told me that wisdom comes with the years, and for some reason I believe that. :lol:

 

Also, like someone else, when my kids were younger people often thought I was in high school (or middle school!?!), so people not thinking I'm 13-16yo has it's pros. And, people in my family age pretty well, so I'm not worried about physically falling apart at 50/60/70/80/90 (though dementia is a concern for 85+ in my family).

 

My aunt freaked out about how old she was turning when she was all of 25. Now in her mid forties she's convinced that she is just ancient.

 

I was surprised I made it to 25 (or 24 or w/e the age was), since I somehow didn't think I'd ever get that old (I had some serious mental health issues when I was younger (still do), including daily suicidal thoughts). But, it didn't freak me out.

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OK, now that I think about it, I didn't like approaching age 30.  I felt like I should have accomplished more by age 30.  Like 30 was this clear cut-off and I was quite the failure in my mind.

 

Some time later, I realized there was no basis for those feelings.  :)

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My age? Not really.

 

The passing of time and sometimes feeling like it's going too fast/I'm not making the most of things/and so on that age and time markers sometimes brings on. Yes. Very much - I have a major mortality issues at times to the point that I have a 'big'-0 birthday coming up soon and my partner asked me how he can help with things. I don't feel bad about my age but thoughts of how I spent/spend my time gets to me sometimes. 

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