BTDT. My father voluntarily contributed some money each month; however, we never felt comfortable accepting it. We would have taken care of everything ourselves happily. As it was, we spent more on him than he contributed, but successfully hid that fact from him. He lived with us for 3-1/2 years, which was a treasure beyond price. Unbelievable amount of stress and labour for us, but so what? He died nearly one year ago, and we all still miss him deeply. Seems foolish ever to build plans around an inheritance. One can die any day, including before said inheritance arrives. Dad's attorney occasionally pushed us to set up a lease agreement. We told him that was unacceptable. Social Security payments never were in jeopardy. Medicaid was not an issue because where we live, one must first enter a nursing home as a private pay resident, then hope/pray that a dual-certified bed becomes available. Places will not accept a prospective resident who wants to begin as a Medicaid resident; administrators will invent all manner of obstacles to accepting such a patient.

Thanks for the link! I never have seen one of those.

Sputnik lamp? Shall have to find out what that is. I am not keen on the pink tile bathrooms of that era (grew up with one) and felt a little surprised that D-I-L decided she likes it.

Congratulations on your renovation and upcoming move! My son and his family moved this past mid-summer into a late 1950s house. Were it not his family, I would steal the house for myself! The house is a large ranch (1664 sq. ft.) on a huge corner lot. The original developer of the subdivision had it built for himself, so it has extra features and extensive natural lighting through the windows. This year, the house was being renovated by a "flipper" who ran out of money. Just before the house fell into foreclosure, my son was able to buy it. DS is a near-genius at design, building, and renovation. Already he has laid, stained, and sealed beautiful hardwood flooring where floors needed replacing, has laid a natural stone floor in the good-sized entry hall, installed an apron sink and new faucet in the kitchen, redone the kitchen cabinets, and currently is designing and installing board-and-batten in select rooms. He has other design plans to pursue as well. DS loves doing all the work himself, and we are in awe both of his skills and his artistic sense.

OT but related: Do high school staff do anything to help students decide whether or not to go to college, if so -- where, and if so -- toward what end? We had high school counselors who did not do any of the tasks just listed. I never understood why they were there, other than to be friendly people who maintained file drawers of testing scores and materials.

That you live in Austin is a grave drawback because of the competition among people who wish to continue living there. San Antonio would not be an irresponsible commute.

Our Asperger's son never had any interest in team sports; nor would they have been a good fit for him. He also has NVLD, an additional deterrent to athletics. He grew up to be very social, very happy among people. He takes long walks for fun and fitness. My own thoughts are that team sports are excellent enjoyment for those who desire to participate. I do not view them as at all essential. There are other ways to develop team-working skills. Perhaps your son would respond positively to a sport that can be "individual" such as ice skating, roller skating, swimming, gymnastics, track, or other such. ETA: Thanks, Poppy, for the word that was slipping my mind! I changed "solitary" to "individual".

If your husband studied statistics, he may be able to find work within the field of marketing research. A pure math degree can lead to work in that field, as well. Our young cousin received an undergraduate degree in math from SMU and went on to earn a high income locally with marketing research companies.

When I was young, college students often were encouraged to major in the humanities for the explicit reason that such an education was accepted as providing the flexibility to work in multiple fields. Additional job-specific training would be provided by the employer. I have known a sociology major who was "reborn" on-the-job as a marketing researcher. At the same company, I knew an English major who was "reborn" as a competitive analyst. I, myself, am a history major turned masters level librarian turned competitive analyst.

From what we hear from practitioners, and from things we have read, medical doctors either are leaving the profession, or are moving to countries where they can earn more money than they can in the U.S. in the wake of insurance requirements and Medicare/Medicaid cuts in reimbursement. Others are abandoning private practice to work in groups, or for hospitals and care facilities. I would not encourage someone to seek entry to medical school unless the person was an idealist and willing to work without hope of paying off his loans prior to his mid-forties at the earliest.

The bit about extended family welcome to show up for dessert is a snobbery straight out of Jane Austen's novels, wherein the respectable, but nonetheless socially lower people were not invited to dinner, but were invited for coffee/tea/snacks following the meal.

Times have changed. Such a cliche, and such a deeply painful cliche. In the old days, attending a "name school" would open employment doors. In the new days, this still helps, but to a lesser extent. In the old days, employers took the time to read hard-copy resumes and to interview interesting candidates. Candidates not going to be interviewed would receive hard-copy update to that effect. In the new days, candidates apply online with cookie-cutter forms, and never know whether or not they even were noticed. Candidates are forbidden to call and enquire of application status. Employers simply tune out and ignore unsuccessful applicants. In the old days, college expenses were high, but manageable. Even at some of the "big ticket/big name" universities. (My parents paid off my undergraduate expenses within a handful of years. I came from very modest means.) In the new days, insanity rules. In the old days, high achievers in non-STEM fields were respected because they clearly were intelligent, hard-working, and brought multiple talents to the employment pool. In the new days, football coaches are hired to babysit -- not genuinely teach -- the "worthless" humanities and social studies courses. The high achievers in non-STEM fields often are unemployed. In the old days, a person holding a Ph.D. from a solid, not necessarily top-ranked, university realistically could hope to obtain a teaching position at a college or university. In the new days, a person holding a Ph.D. from anywhere other than one of the top-ten ranked universities can hope to muscle his or her way past the long line of competitors for an adjunct instructor position at a community college. In the old days, a high school diploma was the minimum for obtaining a reasonable, entry-level job of some sort. In the new days, an undergraduate degree is the new "high school diploma". Need additional food for thought?

( DP )

This. I was going to mention the practice of "trapeza" (which comes from the word for "table" in Greek). A parish meal follows the Sunday morning service. Not always a full-blown potluck, but often turns out to be one. Light fare pleases people just as well. The practice builds in a way of celebrating birthdays and anniversaries of members, for a celebration cake can be included. Cleaning up afterward gives newer members, even interested visitors, a relaxed way to get to know each other better. EO churches generally do this from practical motives, as well. If receiving Holy Communion, one does eat or drink from the preceding midnight, which can trigger an appetite by time nearly noon rolls around!

B.A. in history (of science during the Medieval and Renaissance periods) M.L.I.S. 2/3 of M.A. in Russian and linguistics